Insanity is but a setback.

chapter 1: Le gasp! Guns! Oh ponies too, but guns!

"AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" Was all I Could say at this moment, I had woken up in a forest with the voice of gideon and was not in the best of moods. Cut me some bloody slack, what would you have done in my situation?

Once I was done with my scream symphony i had gotten up, looking around my surroundings I had deduced I was in fact that there were howls in The distance. I had then of course  bricked it and was confused as all hell. "There aint any wolves in Britain" 'unless you count ones in zoos... Dumbass. ''fuck of voice of jack, I am now on a quest to find out where the fuck I am!" 'uh huh? Sure, why not?'

-10 minutes later-

''You're an idiot.' said the bastard that was the voice of my friend.

"Shut it." I oh so intellectually replied.

Face it, we. Are. Lost.' he was like this for about five minutes, bitchy as all fuck is the only way i can describe it.

"We're not lost, I just don't know where we are."

'...You're an idiot.' he said for the fifteenth time today. 'Hey, I just realized something. If you still have your helmet on, maybe there is a map on it and we can use that to navigate.

"While I hate to admit it, you're a fucking genius." I complemented the voice within my head.

Pfft. Bitch please, I know. You gonna look for the on switch or what? I hate him for being arrogant, but thats why jack was my best friend. I can shoot the motherfucker down very often.

After about 5 minutes of fiddling with my helmet, I finally found the on switch. I was temporarily blinded by light but when it finally subsided I could see a map, compass, wait what? I could see a grenade count, a grapple exo ability charge and ammo count. Why? God kno- wait, I could feel a weight on my back and when I turned to look I saw 2 things that would have made me go crazy if I wasn't already.

2 weapons, a IMR thunder tusk and an elite crossbow.

"AAAWWWWWWW YEEEEEAAAHHHHHHH" 'AAAWWWWWWW YEEEEEAAAHHHHHHH' both me and jack shouted at the same time, exited to piss when we saw the IMR... The crossbow? Yeah its cool, I guess but the fucking IMR now thats badass. I mean it has infinate ammo with the 3d printer inside it, now tell me thats not badass and keep a straight face.

"You hear that girls?" Some random voice i couldn't identify said.

"Yeah Twi, I heard it. Sounded like some stallion from trottingham." A extremely tomboyish voice said

"OI SHADDAP! IM ENJOYING THE LOOK OF MY FAVORITE GUN! NOW PISS OFF!" I shouted towards them hoping to make them as I said piss off.

"COME ON THEN COME OUT OF THE SHADOWS AND FACE US LIKE A STALLION!" The tomboy shouted to me.

"YOU WANNA FUCKEN TEST ME? COME AT ME BRO- SIS? WHATEVER I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!" shouted at them hoping that they would bog off and leave me to admiring my new gun.

"MAYBE I WILL BUCKER!" Said the to- FUCK IT! YOU KNOW WHO SAID IT!

"God give me strength." I whispered, then proceeded towards the voice gun in hand. "I'M COMING AT YOU BRO, YOU MIGHT WANNA FUCK OFF NOW!"

"TARTARUS NO, COME HERE! NOW!" The mysterious voice shouted at me.

When I got through the overgrowth and made it to the voice I saw the little shit was... A talking horse? Oh no, not just any horse a sky blue horse with rainbow hair and wings. Let me rephrase that, a walki- trotting? Whatever, a talking, living, breathing foundation stage project was screaming and "swearing" me through the trees.

"Well. I'm officially insane, saying that. I kinda was before." I said aloud, getting their attention. The blue one then proceeded to make a "threatening" stance, puffing out smoke from it's nose. "You. You are fucking adorable, where the hell is my phone? Here it is, smile for the camera." Then I fell to the floor after my balls imploding due to me being kicked in the balls by an orange horse in a cowboy hat. The last sentence I wheezed out was. "Not... Cool."