Insanity is but a setback.

chapter 2:Interrogation? Where is the torture?

As I came to I found myself in a basement and said to myself. "This is dark for a bunch of talking horses." Well that's what I would have said if I wasn't gagged and bound, instead it sounded more like "Mmmph mmph!" Repeat a few times.

It was then Jack piped In... Unfortunately. 'Ooh! You sound like the pyro, shout "medic"!'

"*Sigh*  meiii! Muuaa fuuaa." I begrudgingly replied, much to the chagrin to the people and-or horses upstairs.

'Wait... Where's my phone? Oh balls, oh balls, oh balls with a side of hairy bollock dip! Where is i- oh, here it is. Why did they let me keep it?' It was in my pocket, just in reach. I got it, now, I must do something of the utmost importance! Play music full blast! Ohh, creepy AND awesome: scream! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hg7lIkZdTPk

'Maybe this will get their attention? PLAY!... No? Seriously? Ummm. Maybe this?' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTSbT-Gu00E

'... Really? Just really? Well that was a let do-' I was interrupted as the basement door slammed open and there stood... Dun. Dun. Duuuuun. A horse, but wait, this isnt just any horse this is a premium member only winged unicorn.

'IT'S BLUE! I LIKE!' Shouted Jack in my head being like a tea towel to a microfiber cloth: fucking useless.

"How doth thou respond to the charges placed upon thee?" Tallest horse said trying to be intimidating but ending up with its olde english and shit: adorable.

'She looks so fluffy, I want to cuddle it and snuggle up with it and call it Fred!' I thought. Why? Because that's what I thought. I genuinely want to go up to it and go "c'mere ya little bastard, snuggle, snuggle, snuggle."

"You have 5 seconds to explain thself!" She said using her magic to intimidate me.

'IT HAS UNUSUAL EFFECTS! RIP OFF ITS HORN AND SELL IT ON THE STEAM MARKET FOR... SOMETHING! Jack said still being a useless sonofabitch.

'Ooh, sparkles.' Saying that, I wasn't being exactly useful either. 'Oh, and jack, shut up for a while I need complete concentration.'

"I am removing thous gag, you then WILL answer any and all question we give thee." She said removing my gag. "Firstly, who are thou."

"No! Who are youuu?" I said pointing a finger at her double jointedly.

She said boastingly. "I am princess luna, monarch of the night, defender of dreams."

"... No. You are now Fuzzy McFluffeykins. Now c'mere ya little bastard it's time for hugs and fluff- oh. My music playlist is still on... Ooh, hail to the king." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DelhLppPSxY

"You name is just too long ms. I Am Princess Luna Monarch Of The Night Defender Of Dreams... Heu heu heu heu heu heu. See what I did there? You said that you were pr-." I was cut off when she started going ape shit on me, which is quite ironic seeing as I am the one descended from apes.

HOW DARE THEE TALK TO ME LIKE I AM A COMMONER, DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM. she cap locked at me

"AAUGH I CAN SHOUT TOO, BLARUGH GET TO THA CHOPPA! AAAAUUUGHH WHAT IS THIS? THIS IS SPARTA! Good shouting match see you next week."   I said trying to stand up but faceplanting when I remembered I had a chair strapped to me. "Ow. That hurt."

Recovering from being shouted at this "Luna" as she calls herself she is not luna, luna is my cat a little fluffy ragdoll colorpoint. Anyway, she said. "How. Dare. You? HOW DARE YOU?!?! I AM ROYALTY AND I DE-."

Cutting her off I said. "OH I'M SORRY, COULD YOU SPEAK UP? I DON'T THINK MACS0647-JD HEARD YOU!

Forgetting her anger, she asked. "What is MACS0647-JD?" Fickle bitch.

Putting on my nerdvoice I said " MACS0674-JD altho known ath macth ith the farthest know galithy from the milky way the galaxy where my home, planet earth, rethides. Nerd mode deactivated, requesting orders." I said in monotone. "No, wait! Where the hell is my helmet, got a shark mouth on itand looks awesome. Can't miss it"

"It is upstairs, but you wont get it back-." I yet again cut her off.

"Gimme or say bye bye to life, I wonder, would a bullet to the brain kill you?" I asked genuinely wondering.She out of fear shot a lazer at me. "Oi, that stung! Meanie! *sniffle sniffle* Nah i really couldn't give less of a shit, you gonna die heu heu heu." She shot a steady stream of lazers at me. "Wait! Is this supposed to be an act of torture? 'Cuz it stings but dosen't hurt. Actually I have a question, why was i tied up? Is it that you think i'm dangerous, or are you into some kinky shit?"

That last sentence stopped her with the lazer barage and she looked at me with the most disguisted face I have ever seen. "I- a bu- the- WHAT?!?!"

Just to disguist her even more I said. "Hey baby, I got an open mind and i'll be real classy about it. Swear I won't speak a word of it mmkay."

Much to my suprise she said. "Well... If you really won't speak a word, then umm... Maybe... Sure." She said turning red as a tomato

It seems she dosen't get my sence of humor. "Umm, well. This is awkward 'cuz Iwas just having a laugh. Not really suggesting it. This conversation never happened."

Red as a tomato still she said. "Yep, ok, sure. Actually, you never did give me your name."

When she said that a frown formed on my face. "*sigh* well, i guess there's no getting out of this, my name is My Honey Bun, let's go upstairs and introduce me to errbody."

She put on a stoic face and said. "Ah, yes. Of course, we must let everypony know you are here."

"Pfft, yeah sure. Lezgo." I enthusiastically said trying to hurry it up.

Once we made it up there saw all 6 of the horses from the forest and 1 additional meta-horse. "Oi, fluff stand next to the meta over there."

"Who... Oh, you mean my sister. Why?" She asked

I replied with "'cuz i wanna see if I need to revoke your title as tallest horse. But first, introduce me."

"Oh, of corse. Everypony, elements, sister this" she said pointing at me with her hoof. "Is My Honey Bun."

As I suppressed a laugh I saw her sister glare at me and these elements suppressing laughts, apart from rainbitch who was rolling on the floor laughing.

The new tallest. Horse who I will name death glare Gertrude was looking at her sister and said "luna, you do know what my honey bon means right?"

Blue looked at death glare Gertrude and said. "Why yes, it is his name."

Tallest horse looked at her sister and said. "Luna, honey bun is something one would call their lover it's not a name."

To fuck up her day I looked at her and said. "No it is not, you know full well my name is John. You just started calling me honey bun after we did that thing in the basement." I said wiggling my eyebrows.

"WE BOTH ESTABLISHED THAT CONVORSATION NEVER HAPPENED!!!" She said turning peak red, I swear she was gonna go Karen on me and have the nosebleed of the century and paint the bloody walls red.

Tallest horse gave me a death glare and said. "YOU RUTTED MY SISTER, HOW DARE YOU?!?!?!"

For the sole reason of being a twat I said. "Hey. If you feel left out come on down to the basement, I'm good for round 17."

Now it was glares time to go red. When i say red. I mean blood red in rage. "HOW  FAUST DAMN DARE YOU INVITE ME TO SEX, I'M NOT THAT KIND OF MARE!!!!"!

"Hehehe, your sister seemed more than willing and I Just thought you may be the same." I said. I just made the biggest mistake of my life She charged up her horn and pointed it at me. I saw murder in her eyes. "HAHAHAHAHA OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD HAHAHA YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVED I FUCKED YOUR SISTER!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T BREATHE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!" I was rolling on the floor in laughter, I got up and walked up to the cowpony and at this point I had my hand on her back. "Damn, was that funny or what? Hey, where have I seen you before? Oh yeah, the... Forest." I turned my eyes and looked at her, she had her eyes turned away and was randomly whistling I looked at the screen on my wrist from the exo and turned off the punch. It was quite easy, it had a bunch of exo option and an on/off switch for them all

I looked at the royal sisters glaring at me and said. "Sorry about this, but it has to be done." I looked at the cowboy horse and said a big hearty. "FUCK YOU!" And punched them in the jaw making them bleed from the nose and be knocked unconscious.

This then prompted the princesses both to shoot me and the back with knock out spell and funnily enough, I fell unconcious.