Indefinite Existence

Dreams?

It doesn’t ease the pain.

Pain?

The pain is only driving me insane…

It’s getting harder to breath every night as the moon falls and the sun rises. If only Luna could keep her sister from making the sun rise again. I’d rather drown in darkness than live to see another bright day. I want Luna to come to me all night and talk with me about what I feel and what my dreams mean. She doesn’t have time for every pony and I totally understand the circumstances, she’s a very busy individual only doing what she does best, but I want her now and only me should have her now. Forever in the night.

I sound really selfish don’t I?
__________________________________________

Morning has arrived. Here I was laying on the new bed my step father had gotten me and put together. He was right when he left, this bed really did sleep good. When I awoke I was still gripping onto my special pillow I always held close when I sleep, it’s always been my cuddle, makeout, relaxation pillow. It was the pillow my mother made for me when I was just a little filly. It was blue and had the Wonderbolts on it, flying in their signature move with the logo repeated on it.

Make out with a pillow you ask? Of course I do. Don’t you?

Weirdo.

I woke up to the sound of the alarm from my clock blaring into my ear as I opened my eyes slowly. The clock had a set message on it for when it went off, which I had set the previous night after Octavia left for Manehattan, and it read the best words I could ever wake up to, “First Day of School!”. Very weird that I was excited for just my first day of school. Actually now that I think of it the best message to wake up to is the text you receive from your special mare that reads, “Good morning! Have a wonderful first day! <3 :*”

Damn all of that hard work she does in the night, and she still manages to sneak a text in the middle of the night just for me. Damn she’s awesome.

I switch off my alarm and rose up slowly to the birds chirping outside, the sun seeping into the apartment between the blinds of my sliding door, and… More wet sheets. For fucks sake Vinyl, have some decency… Next thing you know Octi will wonder what you did THIS time. Oh yeah she noticed the sheets that night I had a wet dream. I told her I got really hot and…. Sweat a lot.

I don’t think she bought it. She had that stare…

Fuck.

Like it got any better. I tell you this mare may seem innocent, but the whole day yesterday she kept teasing me about how I seem to sweat a lot when she’s around. Ugh… Like fuck she kept brushing up against me while we were walking around and kept whispering in my ear, “Are you sweating yet~?” Oh the chills that went down my spine and the awful heat I felt come off my face. Innocent or not, for Celestia’s fucking sake, stop teasing me so much! I love her so much, but she gets way too carried away with it. It honestly got so bad that I think a few ponies around, the “Oh so higher class than me” ones, were rumoring about my dripping plot. It was probably the hot weather! Like none of your fucking business!

But I couldn’t help it… Getting caught like that was…

Exciting~

Okay that’s enough of my Sunday stroll with Octi, I had more things to attend to like… I don’t know? GETTING READY FOR SCHOOL?! I jumped right out of bed, grabbed some of the things I needed for a shower, and rushed to take a quick one.

In the shower I always take a minute to think about my life. The things I’ve been through, the things that could’ve been different, decisions I could’ve made. Well… Everything. What if my ex and I were still together? What If I didn’t break up with her? What if mom was still here? What would she say? Would she have agreed to me being here in Canterlot by myself? The questions keep piling up. The time was rapidly growing shorter. Enough Vinyl! You have class!

The walk wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, except for it being hot of course. Seeing myself as a “lower class” some of the fancier jocks here would say, I would’ve thought of being seriously harassed by these so called “upper class” ones on the way. Who cares anyway? We’re all equal aren’t we?

“Gah! Such filth on one lower class I have ever seen. Go back to where you came from.”

Guess not.

As I arrived to the front door, bags on back, and ID present in the front, I took a deep breath as I walked into my new life. As I walked in, a cool gentle breeze of the AC rushed towards me from inside the building. The doors shut behind me. As I looked up the board in the front read, “Welcome new students to the Institute of Arts! Please have ID visible!” I took another deep breath and smiled.

“This is my home.” I softly said to myself.

I reached into my bag and grabbed my schedule the school gave me after I passed the test. Really fast ponies here huh? The schedule read that I have a class starting at 10:00 am and it goes until 1:15 pm. It seems that the room was on the third floor according to the room number labeled, “Third Floor Wing”. Taking the tour I didn’t know this school was three stories, but I also didn’t know until today that there was a such thing as a “wing” here. These guys were full of surprises. The first class that it read was a business class, then music theory, afterwards I would have a recording class.

Well… Here goes nothing. Onto the new school life.

The third wing wasn’t that hard to find, it was just the classroom all the way to the left of the second hallway, but why couldn’t they have just put a freaking number instead of “Third Wing”? I guess it was just easier. As I walked in my instructor was chilling in his seat like he was just all laid back. He had on what seemed to be a plaid shirt, sunglasses, and some interesting pulled back hairdo. Is this the example of an instructor that I have to look forward to? I kind of expected like a suit and tie kind of shit.

Not kidding at all.

He looked at me and smiled, “Hey welcome to Entertainment and Media Business! Take a seat anywhere you’d like. We’ll start in about ten minutes.” That’s all? Really? Oh fuck who cares? This is actually going to be fun if the teachers are like this. Laid back, chill, and just… Like cool with everything. Not a care in the world. I took a seat next to my cool instructor and got out all of my notebook paper, pencils, and highlighters. He carefully examined my desk.

“You seem prepared Miss umm…”

“Scratch.” I finished

He cocked his head to the side a little, “Scratch. Vinyl right?”

I nodded

“Yes. Well you are setting a good example for yourself Ms. Scratch.” He said turning back in his chair towards his desk.

“Vinyl.” I said to him, “If you don’t mind.”

He smiled at me, “Very well Vinyl. I am Mr. Deal and I will be your instructor.”

“What? No first name?” I teased playfully.

He laughed, “Just for the sake of the class, call me Mr. Deal. My name is Partial Deal, but I like Mr. Deal better. It’s an embarrassing name.”

“Sure.” I responded, “Mr. Deal. I’m good with that name.”

Every one of my new classmates started to come in very slowly like a bunch of turtles about to set sail to sea. They all seem to know each other very well for some reason like they have grown up together, like this is their fourth year together and they just so happened to have the same class. Typical like High School, except I’d get all of the ponies that picked on me and fucking beat me up. It was the same time every year during my High School years. The three sisters that I will not mention always took me into the mares restroom and beat me senseless, teased me, called me names, touched me inappro..pritaely…

“HEY!” Some pony yelled at the sisters. “Leave her alone this instant!”

The sisters laughed at her, “Do you really think we’ll leave this tramp alone?” The leader started, “She deserves this kind of treatment because she’s a filthy whore!”

The mare then bucked the leader into the stall next to us, grabbed the other two and threw them outside the door. She then proceeded to beat the leader, hitting her with each word coming out.

“YOU! DON’T! DESERVE! TO! LIVE!”

I think I blacked out for a second and couldn’t really remember what happened after that… I remember waking up in the Nurse’s office laying down on the bed with the nurse smiling at me. “Ah good…” She sighed in relief, “You’re awake.” I scratched my head and rubbed my eyes a little. Who… Who was that mare that saved my life..? Was she okay? Was the leader okay? Not that I gave a fuck, but was she okay? I looked over at the other bed and saw a grey mare with her mane roughed up a bit and sweat dripping off of her, looking down twiddling with her hooves. I tried to get up, but the nurse sat me back down.

“No no Ms. Scratch.” The nurse began, “After a beating like that you need some rest. You cannot go off doing what you need to do. I’ve told your teachers what had happened and they will send your assignments home with your parents.”

Oh good. Good to know I will have homework and a splitting headache to deal with when I get home. I tried to focus on the grey mare, but had little luck due to my eyes blurring in and out of focus. She looked at me with her purple eyes and smiled gently. She took a step towards me slowly and held my hoof.

“I’m glad you’re okay Vinyl.” She said softly, “I lost all control… I know I shouldn’t have, but I knew it was going to happen again and I had to be the one to stop it. It’s not of my place to fight your battles, or even fight… But I couldn’t watch you get hurt again.” She let go of my hoof and I slowly closed my eyes with everything being drowned out by the sound of chairs being pulled out and desks being slammed on.

I snapped back to reality. The instructor was at the board writing his email and information down, telling us about professionalism and how it works. Basically if we aren’t going to be there, say something.

Who was that pony anyway? I couldn’t remember who saved me. I wanna say Octi, but I asked her about it before and she said she doesn’t even remember ever doing that. It doesn’t matter… All I cared about was…

“Ms. Scratch.”

I popped my head up and saw Mr. Deal looking directly at me. “Yes Mr. Deal?”

Every pony was looking at me, “Mind telling me how professionalism works?”

“Errr….” I confusingly said with a red face coming up, “It’s… When…. You let someone know that you are going to be late or not present ahead of time?”

Mr. Deal nodded, “Good. Pay attention a little bit more Ms. Scratch.” Oh good… A reputation of a day dreamer. Fucking wonderful. Good job Vinyl.

Class has ended. Everypony got up and I looked at my schedule again. Huh… Look at that, I didn’t even bother to look at the days I come in for class. Apparently I have only one class for today and for Wednesday. I guess I’ll be waiting for music theory and recording tomorrow, which then class will go until 5:45 pm? Sweet Celestia that’s a long day… Although it didn’t bother me too much because today was not too bad. It seemed as I went through the school, the entire staff seemed very calm and collected. Laid back. Nothing to worry about. Life is just about to get better and I better hope it stays like this. I mean a girlfriend who will come up for some weekend after the next or so, family back home that I can travel to anytime when I have the money to actually get there, a job that will get me by, and a whole new life that looks bright.

Bring the noise Canterlot! Vinyl Scratch is here.
__________________________________________

Vinyl… You are nothing, but a depressing fool… You can’t make it in this world…

You have proven nothing…

You aren’t loyal to your mare. You aren’t anything. Your story ends here and she cannot help you.

“WRONG!!! SHE WILL AND I KNOW SHE WILL!!!” I cried. I grasped my pillow tight and cried my eyes completely dry as I fell into a deep slumber. The outside was calm, the stars weren’t visible due to the clouds, but the moon stood out. I could feel a sense of some pony being there. I turned around in all corners and found myself nowhere now. The entire atmosphere was black, pitch black, nothing to be seen. I hated the fucking dark… “GO AWAY DARKNESS!!! FUCK OFF!!!”

A figure approached me and rose a hoof, only to bring it down and vanquish the darkness. The place revealed to me was my home back in Ponyville, every pony inside was having dinner and… My mom was inside… I was about to go inside and then I was stopped by a hoof followed by a voice.

“Vinyl listen to me,” it began, “I once too thought all was lost when I was banished to the moon for my brutal actions, but I had to travel to the past to find my true self and fight off what was holding me back. The dark within me.”

I turned around and saw Princess Luna before me. She pointed towards the window of my family eating. “This is the answer to your cries.”

"My mother...?"