Eldest

Perhaps I should start by introducing myself, formally. My name is Silent Shadows. I am the older sister to the Princesses Celestia and Luna, and I, like them, have my own domain: I control the darkness, as they control the two Great Lights. I am the Eldest.

The few ponies to glimpse me in this past generation call me the Pony of Shadows, but it is not a name that I have chosen. Those whom I have chosen to reveal my true self to over the centuries have all called me Eldest, except for my sisters, who call me by my name.

I am not a princess, like my younger sisters, nor am I a queen. In fact, I am not considered royalty at all, as I was never crowned or even recognized by the public. I have never been known by more than a few at a time, and I prefer it that way. Just like my shadows, I am at the edges of everything, rarely noticed, but no less important.

Now, I know what you're thinking, Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Shadows are evil, and besides, didn't King Sombra control them? The answer to that question is "no". King Sombra was not the king of the shadows, although he controlled some of them for a time. But more on that subject later. Shadows are not, in fact, evil. Neither is the darkness that they are made of. Ponies are diurnal creatures, and therefore rely on sight greatly, but that does not mean that the lack of sight (or that which causes it) is "evil". Darkness feels threatening to the pony race because we rely so greatly on the warmth of light and the ability to see. Due to this reliance, ponies fear the dark, and have dubbed it evil. That combined with the sheer destructive power that darkness can have if somepony overbalances the ratio of light to dark has made the prospect of darkness terrifying. It has rarely crossed anypony's mind that light can do the same thing if too much of it is had, but that is again because ponies rely so greatly on light that they do not wish to begin viewing it as a possibly destructive thing, lest they fear it and lose their security in their lifestyles. When my dear sister, Princess Luna, was first banished, very few ponies worried that Princess Celestia was never going to lower the sun, because they would lose what security they had in their beloved leader after their lives were uprooted by the tragedy of Luna's madness and banishment. In the absence of one ruler, they had to cling to the hope and comfort that the other could provide in her attempts to stabilize the kingdom and bring peace and harmony back, you see? Ponies have always been biased towards light, although that's an opinion that I hope to change eventually, in favor of equality. It's not easy when my realm is hated and feared, and me by extension.

I know that you're curious about many things. For instance, why am I not a princess? How did my sisters manage to become such without me? What did I mean when I said that Sombra didn't control the shadows? Why wasn't I there to defeat any of the villains who have plagued Equestria if my magic is so strong? Why don't I seem to have my cutie mark? Why have I stayed hidden for so long? Since when do the Princesses have a sister? Where did we all come from? Am I ever going to stop asking questions and answer them? The answer to that last one is "yes", and I will start answering right now.

I think it best to start at the beginning, the very beginning. I will begin with my parents, proceed to my birth, and continue the story until either Celestia raises the sun or all your questions are answered.

My parents lived at the end of the Pre-Discordian Era, in a time where the descendants of Princess Platinum, Commander Hurricane, and Chancellor Puddinghead ruled Equestria in a form of government known as the Tri-Tribe Tribunal (yes, I know it sounds silly, but Puddinghead insisted upon that name). Tribes were still getting used to interacting, and discrimination was common. My mother was already unusual, because her father had been a unicorn (which was passed on to her), but her mother was an earth pony. For her then to fall in love with and marry a pegasus (my father, who was of similar mixed-blood heritage), was more than uncommon. It was also highly disapproved of, and my parents eventually decided that it wasn't worth dealing with all that discrimination to live in society. Shortly before my mother had me, they moved away to the middle of a distant forest on the Equestrian border.

Their new lifestyle was lonely, but not hard. They quickly built a small cottage with their combined pegasus and unicorn abilities, and planted a garden of the plants that didn't grow freely in the forest where they lived. Being herbivores, they never went hungry; my mother's special talent was helping plants grow no matter what the season, which was reminiscent of her mother's earth pony heritage. They lived there for two months before I was born, on the Fall Equinox.

As a filly, I looked much like I do now, except that my hair was considerably shorter, and was still and completely opaque. I was born an alicorn, much to my parents' delight. They rejoiced at having a filly who was representative of all three tribes. They named me Silent Shadows not only because of my coloration, but also because I didn't wail when I cried. According to Mother, I would cry silently, tears running down my cheeks instead of howling my head off. You can imagine that it became quite the inconvenience for them not to have a siren signaling my discomfort!

Three years later, on the Summer Solstice, pink-maned Celestia was born, also an alicorn. Again, my parents rejoiced. Two alicorns! You can imagine their overwhelming joy two and a half years later, when pale blue Luna was born on the Winter Solstice. They had their hooves full dealing with three alicorn fillies, but at least there was distance enough between our years that Celestia and I had gained more control over our magic by the time Luna came around, and had stopped getting into so much trouble.

Our childhoods were happy, none of us will argue with that. We were very close to one another, having no other ponies around to be friends with. Our parents told us about the other ponies from the beginning, and later on, about the rift between them. Every so often they would travel to the populated part of Equestria to visit their parents and friends, and once or twice they brought us as well, although we always hid our wings under cloaks so that we would not attract attention. So we knew other ponies, however distantly.

Once, we met our great-great-great uncle, Starswirl the Bearded, who had somehow managed to stay alive long enough to meet us. He was one of the very few ponies who knew that we were alicorns, and told us that we had great destinies up ahead. I don't remember how much I believed him at the time, but my sisters were enthralled. When we got home from that particular trip, they wouldn't stop talking about the amazing adventures they were going to have, the things they were going to do. It became an annoyance to me after a time, although I, too, clung to the hope that Starswirl was right. I wanted adventure so badly, craved a change from the life that I had and a chance to be a hero. Of course, I regret that wish now, for the role that I played in my destiny was much different than the adventure games my sisters played.

The first adventure we had came much earlier than we'd thought, and came in a much different way than we had expected. I was ten at the time, which put my sisters at seven and five. It was early spring of 40 B.C.R. (Before Celestia's Reign). A young Changeling lieutenant by the name of Chrysalis-- yes, the very same queen who so recently attacked Canterlot-- was working her way up through the ranks of the hive, and she was taking a gamble that could have changed Changeling society forever. You see, Chrysalis had heard that amongst ponies, there was no love more powerful than that of a mother. And what better ponies to test her theory on than the small family in the woods who almost nopony knew about? One night, she and her posse of four other Changelings snuck into our cottage. They had managed the feat because of their shape-shifting abilities, which allowed them to take the form of Breezies and slip through the tiny gap in the shutters of our bedroom, left open for light and cool air.

Once inside, they shifted into their ordinary Changeling forms. Luna woke up, startled by the green light; even before she got her cutie mark, she was connected to the night. She saw the scary things in our room, and started to cry. This, of course, woke everypony else up, but not before one of the Changelings could grab her and stuff a hoof into her mouth, silencing her. That Changeling also grabbed Celestia in a similar manner, another snatching me the same way, before either of us could do anything. They flew out the window with us off towards a nearby mountain, easily managing to suppress our feeble attempts at magic. The last thing I saw was the other three Changelings shifting into our forms and taking our places before the cottage was gone from our view.

Much later, I found out what had happened in the cottage after we had been ponynapped. My parents came rushing into the bedroom, quickly finding the Luna-ling "still" crying. My father rushed to comfort her, but Mother knew that something was wrong. Her maternal instincts told her that these were not her fillies. She made a split-second decision and played along, but as soon as "Luna" was asleep and she and Father left the room, she told him. Father had been a scholar, strange as that was at the time for pegasi, and he knew that it must be Changelings. There was no other way they could have replaced us so easily, and he wasn't about to doubt Mother's instincts. They quickly left the cottage and set off to find us, Father flying scout for Mother.

It was dumb luck that Father was able to spot the Changelings carrying us into a cave in the side of a mountain before we disappeared into the darkness. Otherwise, there would have been no chance that they could have found us. I don't know what would have happened to us if they hadn't come in time, and I don't like to imagine. But by mid-afternoon the next day, Mother and Father came bursting into the cave, sweat-soaked, exhausted, and filthy. They rushed to us where we were bound together in thick ropes, and quickly untied us, hoisting Luna and I onto Mother's back, with Celestia being carried by Father. They carried us out of the cave, after hugs, kisses, and "I love you"s were administered, and started the long journey back home.

Never will any of us forget what happened next. We had left the mountainside and were travelling through the forest. Suddenly, we heard the droning of wings behind us, as the world was shaken by blasts of green Changeling energy. My mother countered as much as she could with her own magic, and began running faster. She tossed Luna to my father, shouting, "Here! Take her, and fly, as fast as you can! Get them home, get them safe!" Father heeded her words, his front legs wrapped around my sisters. He flew as fast as he could towards home. Mother then said to me over her shoulder, "Eldest, use your magic. Use your wings. I trust you to take care of yourself, as best you can. Help me fight the Changelings if you can, but most importantly, keep yourself safe! If something happens to me-- no, listen-- if something happens to me, take care of your sisters. Don't let them be hurt, either. I trust you, I love you." Looking back on that moment, I often wonder if she knew exactly how soon she was to leave us forever...

It was all she was able to say. I began trying to counter the magic of the Changelings, but now there were all five of them! My father had been cut off in his flight by the three Changelings who had taken our places (Chrysalis and two others), who had come to stop my parents as soon as they realized in the morning that they were gone. They had added their magic to the fray, and were blocking my father's escape. We were still able to move forward, but not at the speed that Father could usually achieve. The battle wasn't going well for us.

Suddenly, there was a terrible cracking sound, a sound which will haunt me to the end of my days. In this area of the forest, the spring brought earthquakes; usually small ones, nothing more than a rumble and a shake of the earth. Today was not our lucky day, however. The earth split, a huge crack running across our path. Mother had brought the rope that we'd been bound with, and due to a couple well-timed spells of hers, was able to buy some time. She quickly fashioned a makeshift rope bridge out of a nearby fallen tree (which she pried into planks with her magic) and the rope, stretching it across the gap. With seconds to spare, she started racing along the bridge, but...

Out of nowhere, a Changeling barreled into Mother's side, taking her over the side of the bridge. At the last moment, I remembered what Mother had said: Use your wings! I flapped my wings as hard as I could, managing to lift into the air for the moment that it took to land back on the bridge. I strained my magic to catch Mother, but it was too late. I heard my father shout my mother's name. "Orchid!" He had managed to get Celestia and Luna to safety in a tree, and dove after her. I ran to the other side of the bridge, towards my sisters. I arrived on solid ground just in time to hear the second great crack, accompanied by a grating sound as the earth closed up again, crushing my parents. I would never see them again.

I didn't feel anything at first, other than perhaps shock. I didn't have time to dwell on my emotions, though, because the Changelings were closing in. By now, they had given up on the prospect of food. I don't know exactly why they were still attacking, but my best guess is that they knew that we could be a threat to them in the future. Given the outcome of Princess Cadence's wedding, they were right to be worried.

I raced to the tree where my sisters were and used my magic, already powered up from my attempt to catch Mother, to levitate them out and onto the ground. I put Celestia on the ground; Luna I set on my back. It was only due to our combined magical efforts that we were able to conjure a shield around ourselves and move slowly forward, making our way back to the cottage. At some point, the Changelings gave up. They probably thought that we were young enough to forget the whole thing and never be a danger, but again, I can't be sure.

Everything changed for us. I became the sole caretaker of my sisters. They grew closer together, but I drifted farther apart for having to act like a mother to them. I was the one who enforced the rules, taught them all that I knew, and was constantly busy. They helped with the garden and house, of course, but I was always the one who would sacrifice my playtime because I needed to make dinner, or clean up, or something of that sort. I did have free time, but I spent less and less of it playing, instead choosing to watch my sisters in their frivolity.

They were, of course, saddened greatly by our parents' deaths, but remained much the same ponies that they'd always been. I, on the other hoof, was greatly changed. I became more mature, sadder, quieter, more serious. I was forced to grow up very quickly, and while I do not mourn the loss of my childhood, it has had a great impact on my life. At first, it was devastating. But as the years went on, I grew attached to my new burden. I became wiser, and in many ways much, much older. Within the first year, I decided that I wanted to carry the burdens of all the ponies in Equestria, because I knew that I could hold them all.

When I was twelve, I got my cutie mark. I had taken to spending my free time in the dark pines on the edge of the meadow where my sisters played, watching them. I had felt drawn to the shadows, where I could watch unnoticed, without interrupting. Eventually, I had come to identify with the darkness itself. The way it was ever present, always watching, very important but unnoticed... the way it seemed to listen to the deepest cries of my heart, silently helping me get through my problems... the way it removed the distractions of light so that I could focus on my innermost feelings and truths, even if they frightened me... it called to me. Strengthened me. Taught me who I really was, without any false illusions, and helped me love myself again when I discovered that truth. And then, one day, I discovered the Shadow Realm.

The Shadow Realm is a land parallel to the one that we stand in right now. I can access it by walking directly into a shadow, and can leave similarly. It is not so much a place as a state of being, where one is within the shadows and sees out of them to all the places of light, which appear as holes, sort of, in the realm. It is a land of pure blackness, with no solid objects, that exactly mirrors this world, except that it is built of the shadowed edges of things. One can see out of the shadows into the lit places of the world, as though they are walking through a dark tunnel that has a single window in the roof to the light above. There is a spot of light on the floor of the tunnel, and everything in that spot and above it is illuminated. One can go around the spot of light, but to step into it takes one out of the tunnel and into the forest above, which is shadowed except for a hole in the canopy.  One cannot go back into the tunnel unless willing oneself to go there again when stepping out of the light. It is hard to explain.

The day I discovered this realm was fairly ordinary. I had been watching my sisters, who were seeing which one of them could stay in the air the longest. They were laughing and playing, very happily, and I decided that no harm would come to them if I were to leave them awhile. I chose to take a walk through the verdant pines, stepping carefully to see how quiet I could be. And then, in front of me, I saw a shadow. Well, not a shadow exactly, more like a dark spot. I was curious, and it felt safe, so I decided to go investigate. I walked toward the darkness and tentatively poked my hoof inside the ring of blackness. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, so I walked inside.

Suddenly, my perspective of the world shifted. Everything seemed to invert itself: I was no longer standing in a land of light at the edge of a circle of blackness, but in a land of blackness perforated with patches of light. Curious to see what would happen if I went back to my sisters' meadow, I turned around and walked along the dark paths towards where I came from. It is not something that I can explain, you must see it to understand it. But I continued exploring my new world, and after some time, I had come to understand it.

When I decided to leave, I knew exactly how to do so. I had discovered that, in the world that I had named the Shadow Realm, I had a sort of instinct telling me everything about it. I simply walked back to the meadow and stepped out into the light. There was a sparkle out of the corner of my eye, and I saw my cutie mark on my flank! It resembles a four-pointed, glowing star, except that it is such a dark black that it is even darker than my coat. Thus, to ponies who have no magical ability for darkness or color, my cutie mark appears invisible. From then on, I have had the power to manipulate shadows, control darkness, and walk the shadows.

Eventually, my sisters both got their cutie marks, as well. To be brief, there were two times during the years that the unicorns in charge of the day and night were unable to perform their duties. They each, in turn, had instinctive impulses as to what they should do and raised the sun and moon, respectively, gaining their marks. As we grew, about the point at which we each turned 20, our hair (and, in Luna's case, coat) changed to resemble what you know us to look like now. And when we were about 30, we had reached our full heights. You may wonder why Luna is so much shorter than Celestia; it is simply because she is naturally smaller. Were she a normal pony, she would still be a couple inches shorter than average. My sisters and I became more and more adept at both magic and flying, as well as learning to carefully control and exercise our earth pony strength. Celestia and Luna matured as is ordinary, and we grew close again as we started sharing the burdens of supporting ourselves. We had planned to live out the rest of our lives this way; all thoughts of a glorious destiny had been erased somewhere during the time that we grew up.

And then, our destiny arrived. A new force had come into being while we were hidden away in the woods, and it arrived in the form of upside-down, cow-shaped clouds raining blue, peppermint-flavored drops that shattered like glass when they hit the ground (even though they made a sound like a harp string being plucked).

Discord had come to power.