Hell in a Hoof-basket

"NEXT!"

Hell was particularly busy today. A line stretching from an infinite direction each way moving slower than a dead snail and the mood is as uncomfortable and negative as it is in a line for the bathroom is where our her-... our protagoni-... this schmuck named Rudy is. And he was also the reason for the lack of speed in the line, as he was having a bit of a tense conversation with the Lord of Darkness himself.

"Bullshit next! I want out of this nightmare!" Rudy glared at the tall, suit-wearing Caucasian man with slicked back hair behind the desk. Rudy focused more on the blank space that was the man's forehead instead of the piercing red eyes. Though they held a tired expression, the pupils would cause him to go catatonic. They always did. Rudy stood erect, his hands clenched into fists.

Satan rubbed his temples as he dealt with yet another little prick who thought he deserved better treatment. It was a never ending astonishment that fell over him every time the damned made requests. It's like they think Hell is Hebrew for resort. He mused to himself.

"I hate reiterating a point that should be clear, and this is getting rather annoying seeing as this is your sixth time here in your first five days, but I'll remind you that you are the one that got into this predicament. I have no intentions to alter the punishment given to you, and you're expected to finish the task given. If not, you'll be kept in the 'nightmare' as you call it, for eternity."

"Why can't I just stay around here? I'd rather be a burning pile of misery than go back to where you sent me! No offense." Rude cast a sideways glance to the lake of fire that held many moaning, bobbing heads. Returning his attention to Satan, Rudy made the mistake of looking into his eyes, and sure enough, paralysis. The pupils darker than pitch black seemed to engulf his entire existence. Satan used Rudy's silence as a means to end the argument.

"Listen, I'm busy, you've got work to do. This is not negotiable. Your sorry ass is going back, and that's final. Also, I'm cutting communications off between here and there. You should feel fortunate I'm letting you keep your chosen privileges. Now get the hell out of here."

The Prince of Darkness snapped his fingers and watched the schmuck disappear from sight.

"Bout time. Alright, let's see... Adolf. Always a pleasure. Any progress with Care-a-lot and its citizens?

_______________

Rudy awoke with the same pounding headache he had for the last five mornings. His eyes shifted lazily around the small, cramped room he was residing in for the time being. The room was mainly built out of wood, the only things not being made out of it were his mattress and the duffel bag full of his belongings. The only light in the room came from partially open door. Rudy swung his legs off of the straw filled sack of a mattress and heard as his appendages hit the ground with a small clop.

"I aint ever gonna get used to this sh*t." He muttered to himself as he stretched his long blue arms and rolled his head left and right, feeling floppy ears brush his shoulders. He reached over and put on his pair of sunglasses, hating how they squeezed on his head in order to stay on. He left the bed with a small groan and walked over to the door. For the first time in five days, he remembered to duck as he exited the room. The 18-inch horns were probably the most awkward part of his new body. Not that the rest of the lanky minotaur body wasn't unusually gawky, but the horns sure made it a b*tch to get in and out of things.

"Well, time to go meet some royalty." He stretched his back as he glanced around the small desert area, the silhouette of a town in the distance.