Xenobraid Ponycles

You are the main character of the-

Just kidding, Shulk is still the main character.

OR IS HE?

Yes, he is the main character.

Shulk sat on his Monado with a G3 Pinkie Pie bouncing on his head. His eyes were glowing pink, his skin was glowing pink, his hair was glowing pink, his jacket, his pants, his everything glowed freaking pink. Why? What was going on? Shulk knew that he was not supposed to glow pink.

He then realized it was because he destroyed Equestria. All of the G4 Ponies' spirits now resided in his heart. He truly thanked the ponies for helping him realize the importance of friendship. But with no one to share his friendship with, he became exceedingly bored with life.

"Ah!" Shulk cried as he raised his left hand's pointer finger at the ceiling above him. "I know!

"I'll go to another dimension and befriend some ponies!"

It was funny because he did not consider the G3 Ponies to be ponies at all.

The Monado Boy stood up from his chair made of stars. He stood in the midst of a very, very dark room, where only the galaxies could be seen through the invisible walls of the room.

"Monado, hear me out!" Shulk cried as he raised the Monado towards the skies. "I shall go back to another dimension and use my knowledge of friendship!"

Thus, the Monado granted his wish. Pink particles of light slowly began to swirl around Shulk's body, and as his body was picked up from the ground, he could only watch in awe as the Monado became completely white in color, shining the entire room with its epicness. He swore he saw the eyes of Shrek briefly shine at the center of the blade.

"That's it!" He told himself as a look of determination entered his face. "I CAN FEEL THE POWER!"

And thus, Shulk blipped out of existence, destroying the dimension he once lived in. The G3 Pinkie Pie turned into a pile of dark matter once he left, erasing everything that Shulk left behind.

Suddenly, Shulk felt euphoric. He felt his body flow through a sea of ether, his hair floating as if he were a really, really thin Brock Lesnar. Beautiful. He felt nice.

Everything felt nice.

He was really feeling it.

As soon as he opened his eyes, he saw a clear, blue sky distancing itself away from him, white clouds occasionally passing by.

He then realized something.

He was falling.

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

The Monado Boy tumbled in the air, his arms waving around as he could not stop himself from falling. Even though he was a god, he could not grant himself the ability to fly because the Monado was exhausted from extraneous energy use! What could he do?! What could he do to prevent himself from crashing into the ground like an idiot?!

That's right! He could always-

“BACK SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!”

And so, the Monady Boy plummeted towards the ground! And as he fell, his blade managed to strike some sort of orange pony with a Stetson hat with a tattoo on its flank. All according to plan.

"Unf!" He let out as he landed. Was it important? No, I just mentioned it because I really don't have that much writing material to use.

Shulk raised his head as his eyes fell upon G4 Ponies. They looked strange! They were bug-eyed, were shaped strangely, and looked as if they could harm nothing. Two of them had cone-shaped dildos on their heads, while two other ponies had KFC wings attached to the sides of their bodies! What a way to go. It was a shame that the other two ponies- one of which he struck- had nothing. He gave them no sympathy.

For some reason, the purple dildocorn reminded him of a Mechonis. Now why on Colony 9 would he think that a purple horse looked similar to gigantic killing machines?

Perhaps...

They WERE killing machines?!

NO! If they were killing machines, then he needed to stop them! And since these Mechonises did not seem to look like Homs (aka. Humans) at all, Shulk found it easy to not go easy on the horses.

"HNGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Shulk exclaimed as he raised his blade, letting a blue light expand like a dong. "NOW IT'S SHULK TIME!"

He sort of forgot about the reason why he decided to send himself to another dimension.

"THIS IS THE POWER OF THE MONADO!"

As he let out a battle cry, Shulk stabbed the orange pony he struck earlier, actually killing it this time.

EXP GAINED!
-69 EXP-

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!
"YOU'RE A FUCKING DUMBASS"
(20 GP)

"Yes!" The Monado Boy exclaimed as he pumped a fist up in front of the now horrified ponies, leaving the dead Stetson horse thing on the ground. "I'M REALLY FEELING IT!"

"Applejack...?" The yellow Pegasus whispered, almost as if she were about to cry.

BUT NO! If she were a killing machine, then the tears definitely did not signify true sorrow!

It must be... It must be...!

SHE MUST BE CHARGING LASER EYES!!!

With that in mind, Shulk activated Monado Speed and rushed over to the yellow, pink-maned Pegasus, slicing its head off like a boss(?). At the death of the yellow Pegasus, the cyan Pegasus became enraged and looked as if it were about to fire lasers from its eyes as well!

"Not on my watch!" Shulk said as he raised his Monado. Right when the cyan Pegasus flew over and collided against his blade, a blue glow formed around the two figures. Because he anticipated the attack early on, however, Shulk quickly rushed behind the pony and stabbed her back without even facing her.

"H-Huh...?" The cyan KFC product- also known as Rainbow Dash- whispered as she felt her life slowly fade away.

"...HiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

With great strength, Shulk vertically pulled his blade out of the Pegasus. Right after the cyan pony's red stuff started to blend in with the pastel-like grass, however, he felt something trying to tug at the Monado! His grip tightened as he glared at the two dildocorns, who returned the glare with tears staining their face.

No! I must do something before they fire their lasers!

Gritting his teeth, Shulk clenched the Monado tighter before screaming,

"MONADO...!"

Soon, the blade began to extend even further. Reaching the mesosphere of Equestria, the Monado's blade loomed over the two dildocorns who dared to attack him.

The white dildocorn's tears fell as she whispered to her purple comrade, "I'm... sorry..."

"BUSTEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The blade that fell upon the ponies absolutely obliterated them all. The pink one died before being able to do anything. Heck, his attack was so efficient, it reached Ponyville's library!

"This is a good result!"

Funnily enough, the world did not explode this time. But still, he sensed a strange presence...

A presence he knew that could endanger him!

With the entire world seemingly burning up, Shulk turned around as he exclaimed, "WHO GOES THERE?!"

And lo behold, Shrek came out with another Monado.

"W-Wha?!"

Shulk was at a complete loss of words. Shrek had a blade similar to Shulk's, even though Shulk had a blade that belonged to Shulk, which looked similar to Shrek's even though it was Shulk's.

"MY SWAMP," Shrek whispered as he pointed at the now orange grass. "GET OUT OF IT."

"...HMPH!" Shulk defiantly answered as he raised his Monado. "NOT ON MY WATCH! I SHALL CHANGE THE FUTURE, IF YOU INSIST ON THREATENING THE WORLD ANY FURTHER!"

...The world continued to burn...

With two Monado wielders dashing towards each other, the fate of the world became further threatened! Who would prevail, and what would happen when said winner emerges?! We will find out on-

Shulk decapitated Shrek instantly. Well, that was easy to find out.

Um.

Hm.

The world blew up because Shrek farted before he died.

What would happen to Shulk?! Is it over yet?! Not on his watch! Because it is still Shulk Time, and for now, no villain dares to rise up against him. But where will he end up at next, and what will he do once he reaches his unknown destination?

Find out on...

Xenoblade Chronicles XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!