The Twilight Zone

"Pinkie?!" gawked Twilight. "What are you doing here?! W-where are we?!"

Pinkie Pie only stood there silently looking at her. She didn't move at all, as if she was frozen.

"That's because she is frozen." said a male voice behind Twilight. She turned around to see Discord closing his book with a smug look on his face.

"Discord! What did you do to her?!" snarled Twilight. She felt her anger ready to explode. Even with no magic at her disposal, she would still unleash her fury on the draconequus.

"Hey, hey. Easy! Let me explain a few things," said Discord as he snaked around her and wrapped himself around Pinkie Pie. "This Pinkie isn't the same Pinkie that you know. She's never seen you before and she has no idea who your friends are." He mischievously ran a finger through Pinkie's mane. "She's a product of your imagination."

Twilight looked at Pinkie's features. Though it was clearly Pinkie Pie, her hair was completely straight and she was wearing some sort of ragged red robe. The scarred, milky eye and the peg leg were her most notable differences. A belt of grenades was slung over her shoulder, and another belt strapped around her waist held an assortment of baggies along with the holster for her spiked lollipop mace and candy dagger. Her huge candy cane sickle seemed to have its own scabbard on her back. Did Twilight imagine her like this?

"You might have imagined her like this subconsciously. Don't feel bad about it. Just remember, she's a strangerrrr...." whispered Discord as he evaporated. The life slowly seeped back into the space around her, and Pinkie turned away from Twilight to put on an eye patch.

"We need to move. More will be on the way," said Pinkie as her monstrous car roared to life, taking them away from the forest.

Twilight was sitting in the passenger seat, admiring Pinkie's machine. The front had a locomotive pilot to mow down anything that stood in its path, and the parts of the car that covered the wheels had spikes on them. Twilight looked over the front of the car and noticed Pinkie had painted very mean-looking eyes on it. Behind the seats were several barrels labeled differently -pop rocks, root beer, syrup- and behind the barrels was what seemed to be an elevation on the car for storing something inside; something big.

"So Twilight," started Pinkie, "where did you come from? It's obvious you're not from around here. Plus I haven't seen a pony in ages, let alone a unicorn."

"Uhh...you're right, I'm from pretty far away." Twilight admitted.

"I won't ask where, I'm just glad I'm not the last one" said Pinkie with no emotion in her voice. "It's obvious such a naive pony comes from a place lacking in danger." Twilight didn't take the comment personally; this Pinkie had obviously been through more than her share of grief and sadness.

Pinkie drove the Cavity for a while before they arrived at an oasis. There was a pile of logs ready to turn into a campfire, it looked like she had stayed there only a few days before. Pinkie promptly unpacked her equipment, lit the fire, and sat down. She sighed and hung her head, letting her mane fall from her shoulders. Twilight wondered how long Pinkie had been living like this. She looked so tired...

"Twilight..." said Pinkie, catching Twilight by surprise.

"Yes?" she replied.

"...Are there many ponies where you're from?"

"Yeah," said Twilight, remembering her friends and family back home. "Tons of them, all over."

"Good." Pinkie smiled softly. "You should get some rest. Wherever you're from, I'm taking you back. And maybe I'll be able to start a new life too..."

Twilight's heart sank, she didn't have it in her to tell Pinkie that she couldn't come back with her, or that the real Pinkie was already there waiting for Twilight to return. She watched Pinkie's head dip and suddenly spring back up as she nodded off while standing guard. Even though she wasn't tired at all, Twilight felt a strange sensation come over her as she fell asleep.

-

"...anny Pie...me...delicio...ingerbread...fountai...ery flavor!..ndy cane...awbreakers the size of...NONBALLS!...ugar cane fields...FOREVER!**"

-

Twilight awoke with a start, breathing heavily. She looked around to find she was still in the candy world and Pinkie was bathing in the oasis.

"Bad dream?" she asked nonchalantly.

"Uh...yeah. Say, you weren't talking while I was asleep, were you?" said Twilight.

"No, why?"

"Well...it's nothing, never mind." Twilight could swear she'd heard Pinkie talking about something.

"Whatever. Come on, let's hunt down some breakfast." said Pinkie as she dried off and geared up.

"Huh? Why would we need to hunt?" asked Twilight.

"...Because all the vegetation is candy?" said Pinkie, genuinely confused at Twilight.

"What?"

"Haven't you heard of what happened to Ponyville?"

"What?! What happened?!"

"...come on, I'll tell you on the way." said Pinkie.

"Years ago, I moved into the loft above this confectionery shop. The owners treated me like a daughter and taught me everything they knew. After a long time, Mr. Cake let me in on some secret things he and his wife were doing. They'd been dabbling in botany and genetics and researching the genetic makeup of sugar cane, the plant that produces sugar, to see if they could find a way to make plants and trees that produced different candies. In the end they succeeded, the plants they engineered grew the candy you see growing around us."

Twilight had been eyeing the trees to see if anything was healthy-looking enough to eat. It was all candy!

"I wouldn't eat any of that if I were you. The candy vegetation developed a powerful virus that spread to all other plants through pollination, killing them and turning their seeds into future candy plants. Anypony who ate the plants also got sick and died. Fearing for themselves and their twins, the Cakes went into hiding and tried to develop an immunity serum from the modified sugar cane. They were trying to save their kids so they injected them first, but the serum...wasn't quite ready."

"...What happened?" asked Twilight, hypnotized by the story. Pinkie stopped with a solemn look on her face.

"...Let's just say Pumpkin got off lucky," said Pinkie. "Rest her little soul..."

Pinkie continued walking while Twilight was absorbing the history of this twisted world.

"Once they subdued Pound Cake, they came up to me with what they were saying was a 'working' serum. They were already sick and dying from the candy virus, but after a life of eating sugary sweets I was still hanging in there. So we injected ourselves."

"...and what happened?" asked Twilight.

Pinkie stopped next to a tree and looked back at Twilight before punching a hole through it, the impact shaking its branches.

"It worked." said Pinkie as she pulled her hoof out of the tree and caught one of its falling fruits. It looked like a chocolate bowling ball, and Twilight watched as Pinkie crushed it between her hooves and spread its juices on her neck and behind her ears. "Here, cover your scent. These tracks are fresh." she said, inspecting the ground.

Twilight did as she was told, and even covered her face.

"Is this good?" she asked.

"...Hehe" snickered Pinkie Pie. That was the first time Twilight had heard this Pinkie laugh, and it made her feel especially good to hear the familiar sound. "Quit goofin' around and come here..."

The two hid behind a fallen log, which curiously had an old, decayed hole in the shape of Pinkie's hoof.

"Shh... see that?" whispered Pinkie, pointing to a deer drinking from a stream.

"Yes...what's wrong with his eyes?" asked Twilight, noting the deer's white eyes.

"He's just another mindless vegetable." said Pinkie with no mercy for the deer in her voice.

"'Vegetable?'" asked Twilight.

"You'll see. How far away do you think it is? I have bad depth perception." said Pinkie.

"I'd say about 30 feet, but what do you mean he's a veg-"

THOCK

"Pinkie!" screamed Twilight in horror as the deer collapsed, Pinkie's hatchet sticking out of its skull. "You killed it!"

"Of course I did, we can't eat it alive." said Pinkie with no remorse.

"W-w-where did you get a hatchet?!" stammered Twilight.

"I have weapons stashed all over this forest," said Pinkie, "in case of a weapons emergency."

Twilight's jaw dropped to the ground at Pinkie's smug smile, this rugged survivor resembling the crazy maniac back home even more with each passing minute.

-

"So why exactly is this deer a vegetable?" asked Twilight as she peeled another lettuce leaf out of its rib cage. She had stopped fighting the fact that Pinkie did strange things everyday, but this Pinkie seemed to know the science behind this world's chaos.

"It's the violent effect of the virus on animals, infecting their bodies and taking their minds. Fortunately for us, we can eat it. It's still nutritious, so get your fill."

"Okay," said Twilight, figuring she wouldn't worry about what she ate in her dreams. "So, whatever happened to the Cakes?"

Pinkie stopped chewing on the deer's leg and looked solemnly at the ground.

"Well, the guilt of killing thousands of ponies along with their own daughter, and the virus inside them caused them a lot of pain. The immunity serum changed the color of their coats and manes and made them lose their minds. When the guards came to incarcerate them, they killed the guards and ran. They changed their names to 'the Kanes', built a candy army...," Pinkie Pie looked at the castle in the distance "and set up a big, totalitarian candy shop."

"That's...terrible!" said Twilight.

"They wanted me to join them but I refused, so they set Pound loose on me and...well he left me with this." said Pinkie, pointing at her eye patch.

"Oh...so how did you get that?" asked Twilight, nodding to Pinkie's peg leg.

"This? I was mining for pop rocks. Struck the exposed pop instead of the rock around it and boom!" Pinkie colorfully illustrated with her hooves. "Almost died, true story."

"I can see that." said Twilight. "So...how big is the explosion in those barrels?"

"The ones in the Cavity?" asked Pinkie.

"Yes!"

"...you wanna see?" she asked with a devilish grin.

-

"Heehee, heeheeheehee!" giggled both Pinkie and Twilight as they ran for cover from the small pile of explosive pop-rock barrels and jumped into the Cavity.

"Are you sure we're not too far away, Pinkie?" asked Twilight.

"Don't worry, Twilight. We're gonna have a blast!" said Pinkie excitedly, doing a rimshot on the Cavity's door. "Check this out." she said as she put her peg leg on the door and pointed it at the barrels. "Oh, and cover your ears."

Twilight did as she was told, and with her peripheral vision saw Pinkie push something on her peg leg. A small fire snapped out of the tip of Pinkie's leg with a loud bang, followed by the immediate destruction of the pop-rock barrels and everything around them. The explosion completely filled Twilight's vision and its force blew her mane back, and even when she turned away she saw the trees around them bend away from the blast.

Once the explosion subsided and all that was left was the echo, Twilight looked up and saw Pinkie's outstretched mane and tail bounce into their familiar frizzy style from the real world. She couldn't stop herself from laughing out loud, and Pinkie quickly followed her example as they laughed themselves to tears.

"Twililght...," snickered Pinkie between fits of giggles, "I'm liking this mane-cut, I think I'll keep it this way! And I've never had that much fun blowing things up before!"

"Me neither!" chortled Twilight. "Can we do it again?"

"...Actually, no." said Pinkie, stifling her laughter. "We have company."

Pinkie immediately grabbed Twilight and threw her into the Cavity on her way to the driver's side. She brought the colorful death machine to life and drove straight through the forest, mowing down every tree in the way.

Once they exited the forest, Twilight looked behind them to see a large group of gingerbread men chasing them on animal crackers.

"They're slow, we can outrun them!" Twilight sighed with relief.

"Them, yes. But not them." said Pinkie, pointing to the forest. A tall, brown skeletal monster leaped out of the shadows and screeched as it got down on all fours and chased them. Three others joined it from other directions.

"What are those things, Pinkie?!" yelled Twilight.

"Cinnamon Demons, fast and durable! Can you drive?" asked Pinkie.

Twilight knew Pinkie wouldn't be asking her to drive if it wasn't important. She'd seen Pinkie driving it, and it didn't seem too hard. When they quickly switched places, Twilight realized the wheel was a lot stiffer than Pinkie made it look. Then again, Pinkie could punch holes in trees.

Pinkie threw several barrels over the sides of the Cavity, the soda making the cookies soggy and allowing them to fall apart, and the syrup to catch the ones who got through. Twilight's heart sank when she saw the skeletal Cinnamon Demons avoid Pinkie's traps effortlessly with their frighteningly long limbs.

"There's really only one way to deal with those mangy monsters! Keep going, I've got some shootin' to do!" smirked Pinkie.

"Pinkie, your leg gun won't even scratch them!" pleaded Twilight. Pinkie raised an eyebrow at her.

"Not with this, silly!" she said as she pulled a lever between the seats. "THIS".

Twilight heard the Cavity open up its hidden compartment and turned to see a large silver contraption rise up out of the car's elevation. She was even more surprised when the contraption loudly extended itself multiple times, revealing itself to be a very, very big gun. Pinkie jumped behind it as it loaded itself with a loud clang.

"Those things are some of the Kane's deadliest!" Pinkie yelled. "You know what this calls for?!"

Twilight couldn't believe her ears.

"A PARTYYYY!!!"