If looks could kill, Twilight Sparkle's face would be classed as a Weapon of Mass Destruction. Her crown added an aura of authority to her seething rage as she marched into the entrance hall of her new castle. She was flanked by her faithful dragon Spike and the most loyal of her friends, Rainbow Dash.
"Don't you think you might be overreacting?" asked Spike as he waddled alongside Twilight. He looked gravely concerned.
"No," Twilight growled, gritting her teeth. "They've gone too far this time. I have to take a stand."
"Help me out here, Rainbow," Spike pleaded. The blue pegasus frowned and shook her head.
"Sorry Spike, but Twilight is right," Rainbow began. "She's a Princess of Equestria now. Any threats to her safety must be dealt with swiftly and harshly." There was a seriousness in that statement that seemed final.
"But these are our friends," urged Spike. "I'm sure they didn't mean anything by it." The young dragon looked up at Twilight hoping for a response, but none came. The trio approached a large, arched doorway made of solid crystal. Twilight pushed the doors open with her magic and entered the cavernous room beyond.
Hanging from the ceiling was a great chandelier made from the roots of what was once the Golden Oaks Library. Glittering gemstones of various types shone upon cables hanging gently from the roots above. Rarity sat at one of the seven thrones set around the table in the middle of the circular room. She jumped when she saw Twilight and forced a nervous smile.
"Twilight!" Rarity croaked. "I know you're upset, darling, but I think we all need to take a few deep breaths and try to calm down."
Twilight ignored her, coming to a stop and looking around. On the far side of the table Applejack's hat swayed back and forth as she scrubbed the floor. She stopped after a moment and cautiously raised her head to greet Twilight, her mane frayed and her brow dripping with sweat.
"All done, Twi--uh, Yer Highness," Applejack stammered. She stood up and took her hat off, holding it to her chest. "Once again, ah'm mighty sorry ah spread dirt all over yer castle. Ah dunno what ah was thinkin'."
"Clearly you weren't," grumbled Twilight, rolling her eyes. Spike climbed up onto the throne adorned with Twilight's cutie mark to get her attention.
"Looks like Applejack learned her lesson," he offered hopefully, scratching his head. "Maybe the others have-"
BANG!
The whole room shook with the force of the blast. Twilight lowered the hoof she had used to shield her eyes and everyone gasped in unison. Where Spike had stood seconds ago was a puff of smoke and a shower of flaming confetti. Twilight's throne was smeared with blood and a few small, purple scales.
"SPIKEY-WIKEY!" shrieked Rarity. She dropped to the floor and started crying.
Twilight stood there, mouth agape. Spike had been like a little brother to her. She had cared for the baby dragon since the day he hatched. She could think of no words to describe the pain she felt right now. Instead she wiped the blood and several chunks of what had once been her closest friend out of her mane and turned to Rainbow Dash.
"Where is she?" Twilight snarled.
"I-in the dungeon, along with Fluttershy" Rainbow replied in a shaky voice. Quickly recomposing herself and looking around, she nodded and led Twilight to a door on the left side of the room.
Twilight stopped briefly in the doorway and looked back over her shoulder. "Applejack, clean up this mess," she ordered. "And make sure there are no more surprises laying around!" She disappeared through the door and slammed it behind her. Applejack remained frozen in place, too afraid to move. The room was silent save for the faint echo of Rarity's sobbing.
Twilight followed closely behind Rainbow Dash as they descended a dark, narrow hall leading deep underground. It levelled out into a wider hall lined with prison cells on either side. A few small candles were all that lit the cell block, their tiny flames dancing as the two ponies walked toward the far end of the room.
The final cell on the left housed Fluttershy. She sat in the middle of her cell quietly shaking. Her eyes briefly met Twilight's glare before darting back to the floor.
"Hiya Twilight!" called a familiar voice behind the Princess. She froze for a second before turning around to face the speaker. "Did you like the presents I left for you?"
Pinkie Pie beamed enthusiastically as she bounced toward Twilight, her fluffy pink mane bobbing with each jump. She came to a stop when she reached the front of the cell and leaned forward, pressing her face between the bars.
"Why did you hide explosives all over my castle?" Twilight demanded. "What were you thinking?!"
"Duh," Pinkie replied, rolling her eyes. "Everypony loves surprises. They're so much fun!"
"Your stupid 'surprise' blew Spike to pieces! He's dead because of you!" Tears began to sting the Princess' eyes as the reality of what she just said sank in. Her lip quivered.
Pinkie's face contorted as she tried to hold back a laugh. "Spike always loved a good prank," she yielded, falling onto her back and rolling on the floor in a fit of giggles and snorts. Her amusement at the baby dragon's death made Twilight's blood boil with rage.
"Have you completely lost your mind?!" roared Twilight. Pinkie continued laughing.
"Yep, she's totally lost it," Rainbow Dash agreed. She glanced at the writhing pink mass on the cell floor and then at Twilight. "What do you want to do with her?"
Twilight took a deep breath and sighed heavily.
"Tomorrow at dawn, she will hang for her crimes."
"So be it," Rainbow acknowledged grimly. "What about Fluttershy?"
The pair turned around. Fluttershy had begun drawing equals signs in the dust on the floor. She paid no attention to her friends.
"Fluttershy," Twilight started. "You brought a wild, full-grown bear into my bedroom. He nearly killed me! Why in Celestia's name would you do such a thing?!"
Fluttershy did not answer. Her eyes shot from one place to another, careful to avoid the gaze of her captors. After a moment she resumed drawing.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to get me killed. Did Starlight Glimmer put you up to this?" Twilight asked.
Again there was no response. Rainbow Dash shook her head and looked at Twilight.
"I say we leave her," Rainbow suggested. "Maybe a few nights down here will get her to talk."
Twilight nodded in agreement and turned to leave, Rainbow Dash marching to her side. They could still hear Pinkie Pie giggling at the back of the cell block.
"Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for standing by my side through all this. It's nice to know that somepony around here is loyal to the Crown."
"You can always count on me, Princess." Rainbow Dash offered a quick salute.
"How would you like to be Captain of my personal guard?"
"Oh my gosh, really?!" Rainbow was suddenly very excited. "Do I get one of those fancy suits of armour?"
"Naturally," Twilight explained. "You'd also have plenty of subordinates to boss around. And a generous salary."
"I'll do it!" Rainbow squealed in delight.
"An excellent decision, Captain Rainbow Dash."
"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! This is gonna be sweet!"
And with that, a smile spread across Twilight's face for the first time in hours.
Twilight surveyed the throne room as she and Rainbow Dash entered. Neither Applejack nor Rarity had moved an inch, the latter of which was still sobbing uncontrollably on the floor. The Princess cringed as she once again looked upon the gore that covered her throne.
"Applejack, I told you to clean this up."
The farmpony did not respond. She remained frozen in place, eyes wide with terror. Rainbow Dash trotted over and waved a hoof in front of Applejack's face, to no avail. She looked back at Twilight and shrugged.
"Alright, forget it. Everypony out!" Twilight ordered.
Rarity's crying finally ceased and she looked up with a sniffle. Seeing Twilight and Rainbow moving toward the exit she slowly got up and followed. Applejack also snapped back to reality, nervously trotting along at the back of the group. Just as Twilight passed through the front doors to the castle she heard another loud BANG behind her which made jump and spin around.
Applejack was lying on her side not far from the entrance, howling in pain. Her front right leg had been reduced to a bloody stub with a shard of bone sticking out.
"Sweet Celestia!" shrieked Rarity. She swayed in place for a moment before fainting.
Twilight shook her head to regain her senses. She used her magic to levitate Applejack over to Rainbow Dash, placing her upon the pegasus' back. Rainbow looked horrified.
"Captain, get her to the hospital," Twilight commanded. "Now!"
"Yes ma'am!" Rainbow acknowledged with a shaky salute. "Hang in there, A.J.!" She ran with all the speed she could muster in the direction of Ponyville's hospital, a place she had visited more times than most other residents in town.
Using her magic once again, Twilight conjured a holographic warning sign in front of the doorway. 'DANGER - MINEFIELD' was spelled in large, red letters, accompanied by a depiction of a skull floating above it.
Rarity was still out cold on the ground. With a weary sigh, Twilight's horn began to glow again. She set her friend's limp form upon her back and headed into town.
The moon shone high in the sky as Twilight reached Ponyville Hospital. She found Rainbow Dash sitting in the waiting area just inside the entrance, nervously chewing on her hooves. She shot up when she noticed Twilight.
"How is she?" queried Twilight, taking a seat beside her friend.
"I dunno, she's still in surgery. Where's Rarity?"
"I left her at Carousel Boutique. Sweetie Belle is looking after her."
"What are we gonna do about the castle?"
"I spoke with the Mayor but apparently the Ponyville Bomb Squad is on extended leave, still recovering from the clean-up at Pinkie's last party."
"All of them?"
"Yep, even their receptionist."
Rainbow Dash growled. "I keep telling Pinkie Pie that those pranks of hers are dangerous, but she never listens!" she lamented, throwing her hooves up in frustration.
"It was only a matter of time before somepony got seriously hurt," Twilight agreed. "I just never expected her to be so unaffected when it happened. She doesn't even care that-" She cut herself off before saying it. Her eyes began to sting again, and this time she made no attempt to fight it. Twilight broke down and started crying into her hooves. Rainbow wrapped a hoof around the Princess to comfort her.
A pink-maned, white earth pony wearing a nurse's cap walked into the waiting room. Rainbow Dash ran over and grabbed her, shaking the nurse with her hooves.
"Is she gonna be okay? Spit it out!" cried Rainbow.
"She's going to be fine," Nurse Redheart answered.
"Can we see her?" Twilight asked with a shaky voice.
"She needs to rest now. You can visit her in the morning."
"Horse-apples!" cursed Rainbow Dash.
Twilight let out a weary sigh. She motioned for Rainbow to follow her as she went to leave. The pegasus hung her head dejectedly as she trotted alongside the Princess. Twilight extended a wing and wrapped it around her friend.
"Applejack's the toughest pony around. She'll pull through," said Twilight.
"I know, Twi. But it's not just that. What if Pinkie Pie somehow escapes and puts more lives in danger?"
"Don't worry, even Pinkie Pie can't break out of there."
"What makes you so sure?"
"That cell only has three walls."
Rainbow Dash was utterly confused by Twilight's reasoning, but figured it was best not to question her. She was, after all, the smartest pony she knew.
The sky was aglow with the first hint of the coming dawn. Far below, the world remained dark and silent save for a few lamps burning in the streets of Ponyville. Two figures stood outside the entrance of the hulking mass of the now empty Crystal Castle.
"I thought you said you placed a warning sign here?" asked one.
"I did," the other replied. "The spell must have worn off."
"Are you gonna recast it?"
"No need, it'll be fine now that we're here to guard it."
"Do we have stand here all day?"
"That's your job now. Remember, Captain?"
Rainbow Dash groaned.
"Of course, once I requisition some guards you'll be able to delegate the task to them," Twilight added, nudging her friend encouragingly.
Rainbow Dash breathed a sigh of relief.
"So when are you gonna do that?"
"Good point. Can't believe I forgot to write to Celestia last night, but I was so tired by the time we got back to Carousel Boutique." Twilight straightened her posture, raising her head with her eyes closed. "Spike, take a let--" She cut herself off and opened her eyes again. Her lip quivered. Rainbow blinked.
"Nevermind, I'll write it myself," Twilight said, taking a deep breath. She raised a roll of parchment and a quill in front of her, using the light of her horn to see. "Dear Princess Celestia," she murmured to herself. Twilight stopped there and looked up at Rainbow Dash. "Actually, the sun will be up shortly. If we're going to keep to schedule, we'll need to bring Pinkie Pie out now."
"You want me to go in there again?!" cried Rainbow. Seeing the Princess staring at her expectantly, she mustered her courage. "As you wish, ma'am." A quick salute and several wing flaps later she was cautiously floating down the entrance hall, careful not to touch anything.
Twilight busied herself with the letter. A few tears fell onto the parchment as she detailed the tragic events of yesterday. Once she was finished, she leaned back and pondered how to send it.
"Hmm," she wondered. "Princess Celestia sends them herself, right? How hard can it be?" Twilight shut her eyes and focused intently, picturing the throne room at Canterlot Castle. With a hiss and a flash, the letter vanished. Twilight glanced around before sitting upon the cold, dewy grass with a sigh. "I hope that worked."
Warm, golden light now shone upon the land. The Crystal Castle sparkled intensely in the morning sunlight, refracting tiny rainbows all around. Birds of all kinds sang their beautiful songs from the rooftops and trees. Twilight Sparkle lay half asleep on the soft, green grass outside the entrance. She was about to nod off when a loud explosion rang out from inside the crystalline halls.
"Rainbow! Are you okay?!" she cried out in horror, leaping to her hooves and peering inside the castle.
"I'm fine," a voice echoed from inside. "And somehow, so is she."
Twilight could now make out the sound of Rainbow's wings flapping along with a familiar series of springy squeaks. The blue pegasus rounded a corner and waved at the Princess. She was followed by Pinkie Pie, bouncing along behind her with her usual smile. Pinkie's face was scorched black and her mane filled with confetti, but she appeared unharmed. Twilight stared at the pink pony in disbelief.
"Hiya, Twilight!" Pinkie cheerfully shouted.
"I'm so confused right now," Rainbow exclaimed in a wary voice as she cleared the portcullis. Pinkie Pie emerged a moment later and immediately pounced on Twilight, tackling her to the ground with a tight embrace. "Twilight!" Rainbow screamed. She dove forward and grabbed Pinkie, trying to free the Princess from her grasp. It was no use; her grip was like a vice around the young alicorn.
"Aww, I didn't realise you wanted one too, Dashie," Pinkie said with a hint of sorrow. "Group hug!" she yelled as she placed a hoof around Rainbow Dash, pulling her close. Twilight had ceased struggling and wore a confused expression upon her face. The hug lasted a moment longer, Rainbow squirming in vain the whole time. Then Pinkie released the pair and stood up with a massive grin.
"Don't do that again!" Rainbow growled as she got up.
"I'm sorry," Pinkie said. "I'm just sooooooooo happy to see you guys again!"
Twilight climbed to her hooves, scratching her head. She shot a confused look at Rainbow Dash, who shrugged in reply. The Princess frowned and shook her head. Her horn began to glow as she conjured another magical warning sign in the doorway of the castle.
"There. Now come on, we're already late. Let's head to town square."
The trio walked single file past rows of houses; Twilight led the way, followed closely by Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash was in the rear keeping careful watch of Pinkie. Ponies were waking up and wandering about town on their daily business. Nopony paid any notice to the small group as they entered Ponyville's town square. A tan earth pony with white hair was waiting for them outside the towering town hall. Twilight glanced around, then frowned at her.
"I got your message earlier, Princess," Mayor Mare nervously began. "But we don't actually have a set of gallows in Ponyville. We've never needed any."
"Great," Twilight remarked sourly.
"Gallows?" Pinkie asked. "Oh! Are we gonna play Hangmare? I love that game!"
Without warning a cloud of dust rose up from where Pinkie Pie had been standing. The sound of hammers and saws could be heard as a pink blur swirled around inside the maelstrom of dirt. Then, just as quickly as it appeared, the cloud faded. In its place was a newly constructed set of gallows, complete with rope tied into a noose. Pinkie Pie stood with a big smile, covered from head to tail in dirt but clearly proud of her handiwork. Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and Mayor Mare stood in silence, mouths agape.
"Wow," Twilight said. Thinking quickly, she continued. "Say, Pinkie. Since you did such a great job making that for us, how would you like to go first?"
"Really? Woohoo!"
Pinkie Pie leapt onto the platform and stuck her head through the noose, sticking her tongue out and rolling her eyes back. The loop of rope still hung loosely around her neck as she giggled in delight. Twilight nodded at Rainbow Dash, who flew up behind her and gently tightened the noose. Twilight walked out in front of the gallows and looked around. A small crowd was now forming in the square, ponies exchanging glances and whispering to each other quietly.
Twilight cleared her throat loudly to get everypony's attention. The crowd fell silent and all eyes focused on her.
"Citizens of Ponyville," she began, straightening her posture. "Yesterday, a terrible tragedy occurred. My faithful assistant and long-time friend, Spike the Dragon - known to many of you - was killed."
The crowd gasped in unison and hushed whispers broke out again. Twilight struggled not to cry, barely keeping her face straight.
"Spike's death was no accident," Twilight continued, her voice wavering. "He was murdered in cold blood by none other than Pinkie Pie."
More gasps. Twilight turned her head to check on Pinkie Pie. She was still standing on the platform, smiling bright as always. Twilight clenched her teeth.
"Pinkamena Diane Pie, you stand accused of murder. Your guilt is unquestionable. I, Princess Twilight Sparkle, hereby sentence you to death." The crowd gasped again. "Do you have any final words?"
Pinkie Pie looked thoughtful. After a moment her brow deepened into a frown.
"You know what I really hate?" Pinkie began. "Every time I bake a cake and ice it I always run out of sprinkles to put on top. Then I have to run all the way to the store to get some more and by the time I get back the icing has already dried and the sprinkles won't stick to it! Every. Single. Time!"
Twilight blinked. Rainbow Dash raised a hoof to her face, still hovering behind Pinkie. Many out in the crowd were scratching their heads in confusion.
"Okay then," Twilight muttered with an annoyed frown. "Captain Rainbow Dash, carry out the sentence!"
Rainbow Dash landed on the platform and walked over to a large lever. She glanced at Pinkie Pie one last time. The pink mare was waving to the crowd with a toothy grin. Rainbow Dash shook her head. She grabbed the lever before her and pulled. A trapdoor gave way beneath Pinkie Pie causing her to drop. The rope went taut. Pinkie's eyes opened wide as she made several choked squeals. Several horrified gasps erupted from the crowd as the writhing pink mass squirmed and spun on the end of the rope.
After a minute the squirming stopped. Pinkie Pie's body was limp and still. Slowly the crowd began to disperse, leaving Twilight and Rainbow alone with the Mayor.
"It is done," Twilight announced grimly.
At that moment a trumpet blasted out a heraldic tune high above. The ponies looked up to find three golden sky-carts approaching, drawn forth by armoured pegasi from the Royal Guard. Two of the carts broke formation and veered off in the direction of Twilight's castle. The third circled around the town square as it descended, finally coming to rest before Twilight.
"Hello Twilight," greeted the majestic white alicorn in the cart.
"Princess Celestia!" Twilight gasped, bowing deeply. Rainbow Dash and Mayor Mare did the same.
"Hiya, Princess Celestia!"
Twilight looked up and turned around. Pinkie Pie, still hanging in the noose, was smiling at waving at the new arrival.
"Hello Pinkie Pie," Celestia replied calmly, as if nothing was wrong.
"What? How?" Rainbow cried in exasperation, staring in disbelief at Pinkie Pie.
"I, erm-" Mayor Mare fumbled for words. "I should get back to work." She quickly trotted over to the town hall and disappeared inside.
Twilight Sparkle stood motionless, her face completely devoid of expression. She jumped when she felt a hoof upon her shoulder, but relaxed when she was it was her mentor's.
"You should have told me what happened, Twilight," Celestia stated with concern. "All of this could have been avoided."
"But I wrote a letter to you just before sunrise! Did you not get it?" Twilight asked. Celestia shook her head. "I thought the spell had worked, but I guess it didn't."
"Remind me teach you that one later. But first..."
A golden magical aura formed around the rope holding Pinkie Pie and loosened it. The pink pony dropped down landing gracefully on all fours.
"Thanks, Princess. That was starting to get uncomfortable," she said, rolling her head back with a series of loud cracks.
"But... but... how?" Twilight stammered.
"There's something I ought to tell you. Walk with me, Twilight," Celestia said as she started toward the Crystal Castle. Twilight obediently followed, leaving Rainbow Dash alone with Pinkie. "You've noticed a few things about Pinkie Pie that don't seem to make sense, yes?"
"Of course," Twilight answered.
"Have you ever given much thought as to why she is able to do so many strange things?"
"On occasion, but I always got stumped. I can't make sense of it."
"Well, you should know that--"
Celestia was interrupted as a bright flash of light popped in front of the pair. Twilight noticed a familiar, serpentine tail attached to a body consisting of all manner of different animal parts. The bizarre creature grinned toothily at the ponies.
"Ah, Discord. Thank you for coming," Celestia smiled.
"But of course, Your Majesty," Discord replied in a mocking tone. He took a deep bow causing his head fell off. He reached down and picked it up, reattaching it to his neck. "What seems to be the problem?"
Celestia looked down at Twilight and asked, "What exactly happened here?"
Twilight took a deep breath. "My friends noticed I was avoiding the new castle and offered to decorate it for me to make it feel more like home but their decorations were terrible and there was dirt and pigs everywhere and a bear in my bedroom that almost killed me and countless explosive devices hidden around the castle and so I made Applejack clean it and arrested Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie but then Spike got blown up by one of Pinkie's bombs and I decided to execute her the next morning so then we were evacuating the castle and Applejack had her leg blown off by another bomb and now she's in hospital and Rarity fainted and I made Rainbow Dash the Captain of my personal guard."
Celestia and Discord blinked.
"Also, Fluttershy is a traitor. I think she's working for Starlight Glimmer," Twilight finished.
"Spike is gone?" Discord asked, raising an eyebrow. "Well that simply won't do, he's so much fun to play pranks on." The draconequus snapped his fingers and a bright light flashed beside Twilight. She rubbed her eyes in disbelief.
"Spike!" Twilight squealed as she lunged at the small, purple dragon, pulling him into a tight embrace.
"Hey Twilight," Spike choked. "Nice to see you too. Um, where are we?"
"We were just on our way to the castle," Celestia responded. "Discord, would you please go help Applejack? Then I'd like you to check on Rarity and bring her along with the others to meet us outside the castle."
"Fine," he sighed, conjuring a door in the middle of the road with another snap of his fingers. Opening the door with his lion paw, he looked back at Twilight, who was still clutching Spike and sobbing softly. "You're welcome, by the way," he grumbled, disappearing through the doorway and slamming it shut behind him.
Twilight looked up and turned toward Discord but both he and the door he had conjured were gone. She sighed and stood up, releasing Spike as she did so. The little dragon stretched with a yawn.
"So what happened?" Spike asked. "I remember we were in the castle and--"
Twilight cut him off. "It's not important. Come on."
The trio started toward the castle again. Twilight used her magic to lift Spike onto her back.
"Princess, you were going to tell me something about Pinkie Pie?" Twilight inquired.
"Ah yes," Celestia began. "As you noticed, she is no ordinary pony. But she is also much older than you realise."
"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.
"It all started a thousand years ago, back before Luna and I turned Discord to stone. He wasn't always so mischievous."
"I find that hard to believe."
"It's true. He had been quite the gentlecolt. We even dated for a few years and--"
"You did WHAT?" Twilight interrupted, eyes wide.
Celestia smirked and continued. "I know it seems crazy, but he really was different back then. He only started misbehaving when he found out I was pregnant."
Twilight's jaw dropped. Spike fell off her back in shock.
"Hang on," a bewildered Spike started, running to catch up. "You don't mean to tell us that Pinkie Pie is--"
"My daughter, yes," Celestia nodded. "Our daughter, that is."
"It all makes sense now," Twilight gasped. "Her Pinkie Sense, the strange abilities, everything!"
"Yes, and that is also why she did not die earlier," Celestia added.
"Wait, what?" Spike asked.
"I'll explain later, Spike," Twilight quickly answered. Then a sudden realisation hit her. She immediately dropped to her knees before Celestia. "Princess, I'm so, so sorry! If I had known she was--"
"It's fine," Celestia cut her off. "No harm done. And I apologise for the mess she made. Usually her creations are harmless, but she does make mistakes sometimes. Poor thing doesn't even remember us any more; her mind has never been quite right since Luna and I turned her father to stone when she was young. But we had no choice, you understand. Discord had gone mad." Twilight nodded slowly. "Anyway, we're here."
They had arrived at the Crystal Castle. Twilight's warning sign was still present along with a squad of Royal Guards assembled outside the entrance. Her friends were all there too; even Fluttershy, whose eyes were swirling as Discord poked her head repeatedly.
"Howdy, Twilight!" Applejack called, waving at her.
"Applejack! Your leg is all better!" Twilight squealed with delight. She looked over to Discord and Fluttershy.
"Who do you serve?" the draconequus asked.
"M-My friends," Fluttershy responded meekly. "All of you."
The others all cheered and moved in for a group hug. Twilight looked up at Discord.
"Thank you, Discord," she said, smiling as she pulled him down into the group's embrace. "Thank you so much."
"Yes, yes," he replied. "Anyway, I think that takes care of everything. My work here is done."
"Not everything," Celestia said. "There's still the matter of the explosives in the castle."
Discord stood up and broke free of the group, rolling his eyes. "Well I can't very well fix them if I don't know where they are, now can I?" he muttered.
"There must be something you can do," Celestia pleaded.
The draconequus tapped a claw to his chin, deep in thought. "Ah," he exclaimed finally. "This ought to do the trick!" He snapped his fingers, producing a strange metal object. It had a flat, rectangular base with wheels and rubber treads. Several instruments protruded from the top, including a camera and a mechanical arm fitted with a grasping claw. Discord walked over to one of the Royal Guards and handed him a control device of some sort.
"What is that?" Twilight asked, staring in wonder at the strange machine.
"Explosive Ordinance Disposal Robot," Discord stated matter-of-factly. He turned and patted the guard on the back. "Be a good lad and use it to check every inch of the castle. I've enchanted it to be immune to the blasts." The guard fumbled with the controls and the E.O.D. bot came to life, whirring as it drove inside.
Discord walked over Celestia now, arms drooping down as though he were exhausted. "Can I go home now?" His arms broke off and fell onto the ground with a thud.
"Yes, you can go," Celestia smiled. "And thank you, Discord." The Princess leaned forward and pecked the draconequus on the cheek, causing him to blush. He looked away bashfully. One of his disembodied arms snapped its claws and he vanished with a flash of light. "One last thing," Celestia continued, pointing her hoof at the armoured formation. "These guards are now yours to command. I'll have a set of armour sent for your new Captain within the next few days. Was there anything else?"
"Thank you, Princess," Twilight said with a smile. "Everything should be fine now."
"I'll leave you to it, then."
Celestia spread her massive wings and took off into the sky, waving goodbye as she went. Twilight waved back and then turned to her friends.
"So where are y'all plannin' on stayin' while they clear the castle?" Applejack queried. "It could take days."
"Slumber party at my place!" Pinkie shouted, throwing up a wave of confetti. The five other ponies and one baby dragon cheered.
"But no party cannons," Rainbow Dash added cautiously.
"Okie dokie lokie," Pinkie replied, bouncing along in the direction of Sugarcube Corner.
Rainbow turned to the formation of guards. "You guys can stay here, I got this." The guards saluted in unison. Trotting away alongside Twilight, Rainbow smiled widely. "Awesome."
"Come on, everypony! I'm making CUPCAKES!" Pinkie Pie shouted, a manic grin spreading across her face as the group headed into town.
THE END
