Castle Sweet Castle - Alternate Ending

The sky was aglow with the first hint of the coming dawn. Far below, the world remained dark and silent save for a few lamps burning in the streets of Ponyville. Two figures stood outside the entrance of the hulking mass of the now empty Crystal Castle.

"I thought you said you placed a warning sign here?" asked one.

"I did," the other replied. "The spell must have worn off."

"Are you gonna recast it?"

"No need, it'll be fine now that we're here to guard it."

"Do we have stand here all day?"

"That's your job now. Remember, Captain?"

Rainbow Dash groaned.

"Of course, once I requisition some guards you'll be able to delegate the task to them," Twilight added, nudging her friend encouragingly.

Rainbow Dash breathed a sigh of relief.

"So when are you gonna do that?"

"Good point. Can't believe I forgot to write to Celestia last night, but I was so tired by the time we got back to Carousel Boutique." Twilight straightened her posture, raising her head with her eyes closed. "Spike, take a let--" She cut herself off and opened her eyes again. Her lip quivered. Rainbow blinked.

"Nevermind, I'll write it myself," Twilight said, taking a deep breath. She raised a roll of parchment and a quill in front of her, using the light of her horn to see. "Dear Princess Celestia," she murmured to herself. Twilight stopped there and looked up at Rainbow Dash. "Actually, the sun will be up shortly. If we're going to keep to schedule, we'll need to bring Pinkie Pie out now."

"You want me to go in there again?!" cried Rainbow. Seeing the Princess staring at her expectantly, she mustered her courage. "As you wish, ma'am." A quick salute and several wing flaps later she was cautiously floating down the entrance hall, careful not to touch anything.

Twilight busied herself with the letter. A few tears fell onto the parchment as she detailed the tragic events of yesterday. Once she was finished, she leaned back and pondered how to send it.

"Hmm," she wondered. "Princess Celestia sends them herself, right? How hard can it be?" Twilight shut her eyes and focused intently, picturing the throne room at Canterlot Castle. With a hiss and a flash, the letter vanished. Twilight glanced around before sitting upon the cold, dewy grass with a sigh. "I hope that worked."

Warm, golden light now shone upon the land. The Crystal Castle sparkled intensely in the morning sunlight, refracting tiny rainbows all around. Birds of all kinds sang their beautiful songs from the rooftops and trees. Twilight Sparkle lay half asleep on the soft, green grass outside the entrance. She was about to nod off when a loud explosion rang out from inside the crystalline halls.

"Rainbow! Are you okay?!" she cried out in horror, leaping to her hooves and peering inside the castle.

"I'm fine," a voice echoed from inside. "And somehow, so is she."

Twilight could now make out the sound of Rainbow's wings flapping along with a familiar series of springy squeaks. The blue pegasus rounded a corner and waved at the Princess. She was followed by Pinkie Pie, bouncing along behind her with her usual smile. Pinkie's face was scorched black and her mane filled with confetti, but she appeared unharmed. Twilight stared at the pink pony in disbelief.

"Hiya, Twilight!" Pinkie cheerfully shouted.

"I'm so confused right now," Rainbow exclaimed in a wary voice as she cleared the portcullis. Pinkie Pie emerged a moment later and immediately pounced on Twilight, tackling her to the ground with a tight embrace. "Twilight!" Rainbow screamed. She dove forward and grabbed Pinkie, trying to free the Princess from her grasp. It was no use; her grip was like a vice around the young alicorn.

"Aww, I didn't realise you wanted one too, Dashie," Pinkie said with a hint of sorrow. "Group hug!" she yelled as she placed a hoof around Rainbow Dash, pulling her close. Twilight had ceased struggling and wore a confused expression upon her face. The hug lasted a moment longer, Rainbow squirming in vain the whole time. Then Pinkie released the pair and stood up with a massive grin.

"Don't do that again!" Rainbow growled as she got up.

"I'm sorry," Pinkie said. "I'm just sooooooooo happy to see you guys again!"

Twilight climbed to her hooves, scratching her head. She shot a confused look at Rainbow Dash, who shrugged in reply. The Princess frowned and shook her head. Her horn began to glow as she conjured another magical warning sign in the doorway of the castle.

"There. Now come on, we're already late. Let's head to town square."

The trio walked single file past rows of houses; Twilight led the way, followed closely by Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash was in the rear keeping careful watch of Pinkie. Ponies were waking up and wandering about town on their daily business. Nopony paid any notice to the small group as they entered Ponyville's town square. A tan earth pony with white hair was waiting for them outside the towering town hall. Twilight glanced around, then frowned at her.

"I got your message earlier, Princess," Mayor Mare nervously began. "But we don't actually have a set of gallows in Ponyville. We've never needed any."

"Great," Twilight remarked sourly.

"Gallows?" Pinkie asked. "Oh! Are we gonna play Hangmare? I love that game!"

Without warning a cloud of dust rose up from where Pinkie Pie had been standing. The sound of hammers and saws could be heard as a pink blur swirled around inside the maelstrom of dirt. Then, just as quickly as it appeared, the cloud faded. In its place was a newly constructed set of gallows, complete with rope tied into a noose. Pinkie Pie stood with a big smile, covered from head to tail in dirt but clearly proud of her handiwork. Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and Mayor Mare stood in silence, mouths agape.

"Wow," Twilight said. Thinking quickly, she continued. "Say, Pinkie. Since you did such a great job making that for us, how would you like to go first?"

"Really? Woohoo!"

Pinkie Pie leapt onto the platform and stuck her head through the noose, sticking her tongue out and rolling her eyes back. The loop of rope still hung loosely around her neck as she giggled in delight. Twilight nodded at Rainbow Dash, who flew up behind her and gently tightened the noose. Twilight walked out in front of the gallows and looked around. A small crowd was now forming in the square, ponies exchanging glances and whispering to each other quietly.

Twilight cleared her throat loudly to get everypony's attention. The crowd fell silent and all eyes focused on her.

"Citizens of Ponyville," she began, straightening her posture. "Yesterday, a terrible tragedy occurred. My faithful assistant and long-time friend, Spike the Dragon - known to many of you - was killed."

The crowd gasped in unison and hushed whispers broke out again. Twilight struggled not to cry, barely keeping her face straight.

"Spike's death was no accident," Twilight continued, her voice wavering. "He was murdered in cold blood by none other than Pinkie Pie."

More gasps. Twilight turned her head to check on Pinkie Pie. She was still standing on the platform, smiling bright as always. Twilight clenched her teeth.

"Pinkamena Diane Pie, you stand accused of murder. Your guilt is unquestionable. I, Princess Twilight Sparkle, hereby sentence you to death." The crowd gasped again. "Do you have any final words?"

Pinkie Pie looked thoughtful. After a moment her brow deepened into a frown.

"You know what I really hate?" Pinkie began. "Every time I bake a cake and ice it I always run out of sprinkles to put on top. Then I have to run all the way to the store to get some more and by the time I get back the icing has already dried and the sprinkles won't stick to it! Every. Single. Time!"

Twilight blinked. Rainbow Dash raised a hoof to her face, still hovering behind Pinkie. Many out in the crowd were scratching their heads in confusion.

"Okay then," Twilight muttered with an annoyed frown. "Captain Rainbow Dash, carry out the sentence!"

Rainbow Dash landed on the platform and walked over to a large lever. She glanced at Pinkie Pie one last time. The pink mare was waving to the crowd with a toothy grin. Rainbow Dash shook her head. She grabbed the lever before her and pulled. A trapdoor gave way beneath Pinkie Pie causing her to drop. The rope went taut. Pinkie's eyes opened wide as she made several choked squeals. Several horrified gasps erupted from the crowd as the writhing pink mass squirmed and spun on the end of the rope.

After a minute the squirming stopped. Pinkie Pie's body was limp and still. Slowly the crowd began to disperse, leaving Twilight and Rainbow alone with the Mayor.

"It is done," Twilight announced grimly.

At that moment a trumpet blasted out a heraldic tune high above. The ponies looked up to find three golden sky-carts approaching, drawn forth by armoured pegasi from the Royal Guard. Two of the carts broke formation and veered off in the direction of Twilight's castle. The third circled around the town square as it descended, finally coming to rest before Twilight.

"Hello Twilight," greeted the majestic white alicorn in the cart.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight gasped, bowing deeply. Rainbow Dash and Mayor Mare did the same.

"Hiya, Princess Celestia!"

Twilight looked up and turned around. Pinkie Pie, still hanging in the noose, was smiling at waving at the new arrival.

"Hello Pinkie Pie," Celestia replied calmly, as if nothing was wrong.

"What? How?" Rainbow cried in exasperation, staring in disbelief at Pinkie Pie.

"I, erm-" Mayor Mare fumbled for words. "I should get back to work." She quickly trotted over to the town hall and disappeared inside.

Twilight Sparkle stood motionless, her face completely devoid of expression. She jumped when she felt a hoof upon her shoulder, but relaxed when she was it was her mentor's.

"You should have told me what happened, Twilight," Celestia stated with concern. "All of this could have been avoided."

"But I wrote a letter to you just before sunrise! Did you not get it?" Twilight asked. Celestia shook her head. "I thought the spell had worked, but I guess it didn't."

"Remind me teach you that one later. But first..."

A golden magical aura formed around the rope holding Pinkie Pie and loosened it. The pink pony dropped down landing gracefully on all fours.

"Thanks, Princess. That was starting to get uncomfortable," she said, rolling her head back with a series of loud cracks.

"But... but... how?" Twilight stammered.

"There's something I ought to tell you. Walk with me, Twilight," Celestia said as she started toward the Crystal Castle. Twilight obediently followed, leaving Rainbow Dash alone with Pinkie. "You've noticed a few things about Pinkie Pie that don't seem to make sense, yes?"

"Of course," Twilight answered.

"Have you ever given much thought as to why she is able to do so many strange things?"

"On occasion, but I always got stumped. I can't make sense of it."

"Well, you should know that--"

Celestia was interrupted as a bright flash of light popped in front of the pair. Twilight noticed a familiar, serpentine tail attached to a body consisting of all manner of different animal parts. The bizarre creature grinned toothily at the ponies.

"Ah, Discord. Thank you for coming," Celestia smiled.

"But of course, Your Majesty," Discord replied in a mocking tone. He took a deep bow causing his head fell off. He reached down and picked it up, reattaching it to his neck. "What seems to be the problem?"

Celestia looked down at Twilight and asked, "What exactly happened here?"

Twilight took a deep breath. "My friends noticed I was avoiding the new castle and offered to decorate it for me to make it feel more like home but their decorations were terrible and there was dirt and pigs everywhere and a bear in my bedroom that almost killed me and countless explosive devices hidden around the castle and so I made Applejack clean it and arrested Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie but then Spike got blown up by one of Pinkie's bombs and I decided to execute her the next morning so then we were evacuating the castle and Applejack had her leg blown off by another bomb and now she's in hospital and Rarity fainted and I made Rainbow Dash the Captain of my personal guard."

Celestia and Discord blinked.

"Also, Fluttershy is a traitor. I think she's working for Starlight Glimmer," Twilight finished.

"Spike is gone?" Discord asked, raising an eyebrow. "Well that simply won't do, he's so much fun to play pranks on." The draconequus snapped his fingers and a bright light flashed beside Twilight. She rubbed her eyes in disbelief.

"Spike!" Twilight squealed as she lunged at the small, purple dragon, pulling him into a tight embrace.

"Hey Twilight," Spike choked. "Nice to see you too. Um, where are we?"

"We were just on our way to the castle," Celestia responded. "Discord, would you please go help Applejack? Then I'd like you to check on Rarity and bring her along with the others to meet us outside the castle."

"Fine," he sighed, conjuring a door in the middle of the road with another snap of his fingers. Opening the door with his lion paw, he looked back at Twilight, who was still clutching Spike and sobbing softly. "You're welcome, by the way," he grumbled, disappearing through the doorway and slamming it shut behind him.

Twilight looked up and turned toward Discord but both he and the door he had conjured were gone. She sighed and stood up, releasing Spike as she did so. The little dragon stretched with a yawn.

"So what happened?" Spike asked. "I remember we were in the castle and--"

Twilight cut him off. "It's not important. Come on."

The trio started toward the castle again. Twilight used her magic to lift Spike onto her back.

"Princess, you were going to tell me something about Pinkie Pie?" Twilight inquired.

"Ah yes," Celestia began. "As you noticed, she is no ordinary pony. But she is also much older than you realise."

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.

"It all started a thousand years ago, back before Luna and I turned Discord to stone. He wasn't always so mischievous."

"I find that hard to believe."

"It's true. He had been quite the gentlecolt. We even dated for a few years and--"

"You did WHAT?" Twilight interrupted, eyes wide.

Celestia smirked and continued. "I know it seems crazy, but he really was different back then. He only started misbehaving when he found out I was pregnant."

Twilight's jaw dropped. Spike fell off her back in shock.

"Hang on," a bewildered Spike started, running to catch up. "You don't mean to tell us that Pinkie Pie is--"

"My daughter, yes," Celestia nodded. "Our daughter, that is."

"It all makes sense now," Twilight gasped. "Her Pinkie Sense, the strange abilities, everything!"

"Yes, and that is also why she did not die earlier," Celestia added.

"Wait, what?" Spike asked.

"I'll explain later, Spike," Twilight quickly answered. Then a sudden realisation hit her. She immediately dropped to her knees before Celestia. "Princess, I'm so, so sorry! If I had known she was--"

"It's fine," Celestia cut her off. "No harm done. And I apologise for the mess she made. Usually her creations are harmless, but she does make mistakes sometimes. Poor thing doesn't even remember us any more; her mind has never been quite right since Luna and I turned her father to stone when she was young. But we had no choice, you understand. Discord had gone mad." Twilight nodded slowly. "Anyway, we're here."

They had arrived at the Crystal Castle. Twilight's warning sign was still present along with a squad of Royal Guards assembled outside the entrance. Her friends were all there too; even Fluttershy, whose eyes were swirling as Discord poked her head repeatedly.

"Howdy, Twilight!" Applejack called, waving at her.

"Applejack! Your leg is all better!" Twilight squealed with delight. She looked over to Discord and Fluttershy.

"Who do you serve?" the draconequus asked.

"M-My friends," Fluttershy responded meekly. "All of you."

The others all cheered and moved in for a group hug. Twilight looked up at Discord.

"Thank you, Discord," she said, smiling as she pulled him down into the group's embrace. "Thank you so much."

"Yes, yes," he replied. "Anyway, I think that takes care of everything. My work here is done."

"Not everything," Celestia said. "There's still the matter of the explosives in the castle."

Discord stood up and broke free of the group, rolling his eyes. "Well I can't very well fix them if I don't know where they are, now can I?" he muttered.

"There must be something you can do," Celestia pleaded.

The draconequus tapped a claw to his chin, deep in thought. "Ah," he exclaimed finally. "This ought to do the trick!" He snapped his fingers, producing a strange metal object. It had a flat, rectangular base with wheels and rubber treads. Several instruments protruded from the top, including a camera and a mechanical arm fitted with a grasping claw. Discord walked over to one of the Royal Guards and handed him a control device of some sort.

"What is that?" Twilight asked, staring in wonder at the strange machine.

"Explosive Ordinance Disposal Robot," Discord stated matter-of-factly. He turned and patted the guard on the back. "Be a good lad and use it to check every inch of the castle. I've enchanted it to be immune to the blasts." The guard fumbled with the controls and the E.O.D. bot came to life, whirring as it drove inside.

Discord walked over Celestia now, arms drooping down as though he were exhausted. "Can I go home now?" His arms broke off and fell onto the ground with a thud.

"Yes, you can go," Celestia smiled. "And thank you, Discord." The Princess leaned forward and pecked the draconequus on the cheek, causing him to blush. He looked away bashfully. One of his disembodied arms snapped its claws and he vanished with a flash of light. "One last thing," Celestia continued, pointing her hoof at the armoured formation. "These guards are now yours to command. I'll have a set of armour sent for your new Captain within the next few days. Was there anything else?"

"Thank you, Princess," Twilight said with a smile. "Everything should be fine now."

"I'll leave you to it, then."

Celestia spread her massive wings and took off into the sky, waving goodbye as she went. Twilight waved back and then turned to her friends.

"So where are y'all plannin' on stayin' while they clear the castle?" Applejack queried. "It could take days."

"Slumber party at my place!" Pinkie shouted, throwing up a wave of confetti. The five other ponies and one baby dragon cheered.

"But no party cannons," Rainbow Dash added cautiously.

"Okie dokie lokie," Pinkie replied, bouncing along in the direction of Sugarcube Corner.

Rainbow turned to the formation of guards. "You guys can stay here, I got this." The guards saluted in unison. Trotting away alongside Twilight, Rainbow smiled widely. "Awesome."

"Come on, everypony! I'm making CUPCAKES!" Pinkie Pie shouted, a manic grin spreading across her face as the group headed into town.

THE END