Fallout Equestria: Recordings of an Equestrian Monster

*click*

Time is eight fifty-two in the morning.

The subject is currently having his morning meal. While normally insignificant we have today decided to try out Mcgloverson’s hypothesis that two-five-nine is an omnivore, to accomplish this we presented him with some fresh cow flesh. Needless to say he outright refused. So instead we gave him his normal gruel but added some chunks of the flesh to it. So far it seems he hasn’t realised.

If this continues and he has no adverse side-effects such as nausea, vomiting, headaches, etcetera like a normal equine then Mcgloverson will be proved correct.

However, today is also special in that we are devoting most of our time to see whether or not Subject Two-Five-Nine has gained other traits that some Chimera members such as myself have hypothesised about.

In about eight minutes time we shall take him to one of the labs to test what the majority of us believe of him to have a bullet-proof hide, this was theorised because in the many reports of hydra encounters excessive firepower has had to be employed to take one down. Bear in mind we are talking about a half pony half hydra here, so it probably isn’t as hardy as the real thing. But any sort of tougher hide is an advantage regardless.

*click*

*click*

*Deep huff*

Time is one minute past nine in the morning.

Subject two-five-nine, would you please come with me? We have some other tests for you to perform today.

*Deep huff followed by clacks of claws hitting a metal surface*

Thank you. Security, please ensure the subject doesn’t stray.

*click*

*click*

Time is ten minutes past nine in the morning.

The subject has been cooperative so far and is currently lying restrained, for safety, on the operating table.

The test that myself and the aides will perform is to see the thickness or strength if you will, of his hide. To do this we shall use a range of different sized needles to pierce him and measure how far it goes it penetrates using a machine. Now this may sound simple but I’m willing to bet a bottle of RAD, as I did to one of these aides, that a lot of the needles won’t pierce the subject at all.

Okie dokie lokie, let us begin.

Two-five-nine, this might hurt a little and for that I apologise.

We shall begin with a twenty one gauge hypodermic, the average needed to draw blood.

*exhale*

Ha! That’s a RAD for me fellas. Now onto the twenty three gauge…

Twenty five gauge please, thank you.

*chuckle*

Almost that time, it caused the skin to press in a bit before breaking.

Let’s try the twenty six actually, we’re close I think.

Hmm, alright. It has definitely got to be the twenty seven, you okay there two-five-nine?

*small growl*

Good. AH! There we go, blood has been drawn. What’s the thickness please?

Three-point-five inches Doctor. While this isn’t conclusive proof that your hypothesis is correct, I suggest we actually test it in a live-fire situation. I estimate his hide has a seventy percent chance of reflecting a low calibre firearm and reduced penetration from a standard zebra assault-rifle.

Indeed but we mustn’t rush, we have all the time in Equestria and so we shall repeat the test again. Change the variables and such, you know the drill.

*click*

*click*

Time is two o’clock in the afternoon exact.

While the test results from earlier in the day have lent some proof, we shall be commencing the live-fire test shortly. We are currently on our way to the range now, heh, when I asked Trueblood if we could commandeer the security gun-range the look on his face was priceless. Not to mention the head of security, I don’t think the Caesar himself could give a bigger death glare even if he came muzzle to muzzle with Princess Luna.

On another note I have had to bring eight unicorn aides with me…*sigh*…Subject Two-five-nine began to resist when I said he would be participating in a live-fire test. The unicorn assistance will keep him firmly on his claws so that we can do it properly.

*click*

*click*

Time is eleven minutes past two in the afternoon.

*growls and hisses*

Okay I know this isn’t the most scientific method of doing this but I think using different weapons with their respective manner is much simpler than writing down the bullet dimensions and calibre that only works in their respective weapons.

Right, medical team on standby? Good. Let us begin yes? Remember to fire for least-lethal areas.

Roger Doctor, I’ll fire on your command.

Test one: The standard Equestrian Armed Forces sidearm, nicknamed ‘Punch’.

Fire.

*BANG!*

*hiss*

Doctor! It’s not penetrated!

Get clear please we have to fire again...

*BANG*

Same outcome?

Yes Doctor.

Okay, turn the subject so he is facing the right wall please. A shot to the abdomen now.

Roger.

*BANG!*

*howl and roar*

Same result again! He has some major bruising this time though, slight break in the skin but no blood.

Another shot please at least six centimetres away from the last one.

*BANG!*

Same as before Doctor.

Excellent, please give him a healing potion and make sure he is in perfect condition before we move on.

*click*

*click*

Time is thirty-three minutes past two in the afternoon.

Next up is the Equestrian assault rifle and Zebra assault rifle, fired from a battle-saddle. Repeat the same process as before please. Zebra assault rifle first.

Roger.

*BANG*

*howl*

It has penetrated doctor, but the back of the bullet is sticking out slightly?

Well get the medical team to pull it out then! Please assess if there is any internal damage as well.

No internal damage doct-Luna’s mane? Oi, did you give the subject a healing potion without orders?

No? Then where the buck is the wound?!

What’s happening over there Gallopsy?

The wound doctor, it isn’t there anymore. I don’t understand? I turned away for at least twenty seconds to see the results of the medical scan and next thing I know there’s no wound.

Did you order a healing potion to be administered? A bullet wound doesn’t just disappear.

Apparently it does sir…

*whispers to himself* It couldn’t be…?

Did we have the cameras watching the subject? Bring them to me! Top priority! Everypony else wait here, I’ll be back in ten minutes and please make sure the subject remains where he is.

*click*

*click*

*excited/shaky voice*

It seems that Gallopsy was correct. A wound. That just. Disappeared.

Now further tests must be done asap, if what we’re seeing here proves true then one of our wildest dreams about this hybrid is about to become reality! Picture it, two-five-nine in a battlefield, hoof-to-claw combat with the zebras. The battle has become bloody and deep wounds all over the subjects body and his foes bloodied but still fighting fiercly…then his wounds just disappear. The tables have turned in his favour. Every scratch repairs itself!

Or even if he handles a gun, he gets shot by an zebra in the abdomen, a few seconds later two-five-nine gets back up and shoots back. The possibilities, hell even the demoralizing effect that would have! A monster that refuses to die!

Oh buck! The range!

*click*

*click*

*cough*

The time is fifty seven minutes past two in the afternoon.

Yes, well I can confirm now that wound healed itself. But BEFORE we start to jump to conclusions let’s just try this again. Everypony take your positions and get ready. Gallopsy if the bullet sticks out go straight for it, I’ll keep my eyes on the wound. Are you ready to fire?

Roger.

Fire.

*BANG!*

*Howl*

I’ve got the bullet, I’ll check the scan in case of any other damage.

.

.

.

.

.

Princesses shave my mane and call me a freak! It just knotted itself back together!

We’ll repeat this again, now we know this phenomenon occurs. But let’s actually do what we came here for first. This is going to be a long and exciting day.

*click*

*click*

Time is forty two minutes past three in the afternoon.

We have tried out the Equestrian assault rifle and while it penetrates deeper into the hide when fired in single shots, the wounds aren’t fatal. However, when we ordered a burst fire of three shots the wounds inflicted were much greater and he required medical attention. In a combat-situation though he would not be in much danger, nothing a few healing potions couldn’t tide over until a medic could pull out the projectiles. On the other hand his hide won’t protect him from anything of a higher quality, I mean shrapnel from a grenade/explosive/whatever won’t cause as much damage unless he’s very close but I’d say his hide will be like anypony else’s when we go up to the standard of a revolver or say, a sniper rifle.

Amongst other things after a short break we are going to begin testing the full extent of Subject Two-five-nine’s regeneration ability. This will take at least the rest of the day if not until early morning to get a good understanding of it; it’s a good thing we aren’t constrained by the ethical/morality laws for testing down here. It would take us probably five years before we understood this ability otherwise.

*click*

*click*

Time is twenty two minutes past four in the afternoon.

Is the timer set up correctly?

Yes Doctor.

Good, now let me go over this again. We shall begin the test by having the subject restrained and using the same fire-arms as before on him, after each shot one of the medics shall pluck out the bullet and then we time it until the subject heals. We shall repeat that test on different parts of the body from multiple angles. EXCLUDING the head, vital organs aren’t a problem here. While I’m sure we’re willing to take many risks to ensure the success of Chimera I don’t think we should push our luck. Has everypony got that?

*multiple voices and a whimpering howl*

Yes Doctor.

Let’s crack on then.

*click*

*click*

Time is six o’clock in the afternoon.

*BANG!*

*whimper and voices*

So far using the assault rifles at varying ranges between 10-50metres we have determined that full penetration wounds with an exit on both the forelegs and hind legs from almost every angle will result in full regeneration regardless if bones are cracked, fractured or even pierced through. There are no negatives from the regeneration; it is exactly as if it were never shot at in the first place. From the smallest wound to the most serious we can conclude that full ability is regained after a minimum of twenty seconds and a maximum of thirty-two point two-three.

Okay! I’ve got enough data from the legs, please move onto the lower half of the barrel, which includes the tail might I add.

Roger.

Calibrating now.

*click*

*click*

*excited voices*

Time is thirty-nine minutes past six in the evening.

We have some extremely interesting news. The shot fired a few minutes ago is the cause. It was fired from twenty-five metres away and was expected to penetrate minorly; however, it struck the kidneys and appeared to be lodged within one. Trying to take it out within the twenty second window was unlikely without causing massive internal damage but as we had finally come to a decision to just yank it out we had a surprise.

The bullet wasn’t there. It’d disappeared.

Scanning him showed us there was no damage internally or externally, it was as if the bullet hadn’t existed. We took out the bullet before due to the worry it might become lodged within the regenerated tissue, like what happens with healing potions. But it seems now that the system responsible for his ability also breaks down foreign bodies too.

I’m going to have the testing re-done. Ughh, I’m thinking another few hours just got added before I can rest.

*click*

*click*

Time is thirty minutes past eight in the evening.

We have finished the lower half of the body and everything is coming along well. We have observed that the twenty to thirty second regeneration rate still applies here if there is a clean exit wound as well as if the projectile is lodged in, and then taken out, the body. When various organs were struck the subject experienced profound pain as was to be expected, however, we noticed that while most of the damaged tissue would repair itself in the timeframe the organs took at least another ten seconds on top of that. Subject Two-five-nine was observed as making what could be described as ‘awkward’ facial expressions and what the aides who were restraining him as he was ‘writhing’. I’m going to add to my report that these are feelings of discomfort. I guess it must feel strange having your organs repaired while you’re awake.

We are going to re-do the test without taking the projectiles out after we are done here because there’s no sense in scrapping a whole host of data because of one variable being added, at least this way we can get a sense if anything goes wrong.

Okay! Everypony we’re now moving onto the upper half of the body, I want all of us to be ready to move on a moment’s notice, and I don’t want what could be our big break here to die because of one lazy-ass pony. Understood?

Understood Doctor!

Good, now fire at the designated area’s when Gallopsy gives you the signal that the equipment has been calibrated.

Roger.

*BANG!*

*click*

*click*

Midnight.

*BANG!*

*hoarse groan*

We’re most of the way through the testing of the regeneration without any assistance. Overall what we have concluded so far from the tests with removing the projectiles inside the body and nothing else is that:

Any external and internal damage regardless of severity to the tissue is fully repaired within thirty seconds.

Every bone in the body, apart from the cervical vertebrae found in the neck and the cranium was tested. Even if the bone was cracked, fractured or even a compound fracture they still regenerate. As observed during the time of his compound fracture however, the bone is seemingly ‘pulled’ back in to be repaired, I expect this is because it was still attached to some point in the body.

Minor organs, if it’s okay to call them that, such as the kidneys, bowels, etc will take between thirty and forty seconds to repair. It is important to note that the subject experiences slight discomfort during organ repair.

*BANG!*

*moan*

Major organs critical for survival, like the heart and lungs, surprisingly or should I say not surprisingly, take between twelve and eighteen seconds to fully repair. The heart is the quickest funnily enough. A very interesting observation is that the lungs when punctured do not fill up with fluid from the body as expected but a rapid barrier of some sort is erected to prevent the fluid from entering while repairs take place. The subject feels extreme discomfort and it was a struggle to keep him from thrashing about during those times.

My next log will report the rest of my finding before I take my leave.

*click*

*click*

*yawn*

Time is two minutes past two in the morning.

I’ve just got back into my office after escorting subject two-five-nine to his chambers. We sedated him after we had finished the test mostly for our own convenience but minorly because the unicorns holding him in place were exhausted.

Anyway, the conclusion of the tests! Subject two-five-nine experienced the exact same phenomenon as before and the results I presented earlier were the exact same in how long it took to repair, regardless of the projectile being present or not. Whatever system performs the regeneration also destroys foreign matter. I have a few more questions about that, such as what if he was eating as he got shot. Would it destroy the food as well?

But, we have more tests to run later on and I am going to dread the moment the two-five-nine wakes up.

Time for some sleep anyhow, goodnight.

*click*