Rest and Relaxation

You could get a bowl of boiled oats or corn for four bits. It included one small brick of green fescue and a scoop of dried fruit of your choice. Or you could buy the small brick of fescue for a bit apiece. Judging by the grass guts and trays in the cafeteria, two to three bricks sold much better than the nutrition dense oats. The heavy set earth pony behind the counter looked at him with an uncaring glint in her good eye. All she cared about was the five ponies behind him. They were all a part of his entourage, so he didn’t feel any sort of hurry. He looked over the dried fruit selection.

“Blueberries,” he finally decided Without so much as even a huff she put four dried blueberries into the bowl of oatmeal and handed it over to Yards. At the end of the line was another pony working a cash register. Yards paid for all six of them. He walked over to a larger round table and sat down.

Apple sat down across from him. Things had been...odd between them. He still didn’t understand why he had broken down last night. He hadn’t mentioned it to Luna when he’d put in the request for Starfall. He couldn’t. Not if he was going to lead, that would be, it would be, he’d have to admit he was as damaged as he was.

The unicorn mare sat down beside him. She was wearing her hat from last night and a billowy, long sleeved black shirt that gathered at her fetlocks to create the Illusion of a black cloud around her. Her tail was bound up in a black ribbon bow. A black lace mini skirt with a wide, sequined belt holding it in place finished her outfit. She had an album under her tray. Gently she pulled it out.

“I’ve got the live version of “Foundered” if…” her voice trailed off.

“That the one with Close Cropped?”

“Yeah.”

“I haven’t heard that in ages.”

She smiled softly. “I got it at their Phillydelphia concert in the Legacy of Want tour.”

“Never been to a concert.”

“Really?”

Toffee sat down on the other side of Yards. Apparently it was her day with him or something. It seemed that the girls had set up some sort of “speed dating” type arrangement where they were taking turns with a day and a night each until he made up his mind one way or the other. He nodded to her then turned back to the unicorn.

“Nope. Growing up they didn’t have any near me and, well, I never had time as an adult.”

“Wow. That’s kind of sad. There used to be a free one every Thursday in Honey Muffin Meadow Park during the summer. They’d have a different one every week. I saw Chained there twice.”

“Yeah, and then he got sick on too much carny food and missed his band last week.” Toffee gave him a good-natured grin.
Yards looked away, trying to hide his shame. “Huh, well, when everybody’s ready we’re going to need to get moving. Cat, Apple, uh Aurora go ahead and check up and see if there were any reports from Pigeon Hawk at the castle. Toffee, Starfall, I uh, I’ve got a special assignment for you two.”

“Both of us?” Toffee looked up from her grits.

“Yeah, there’s a little bit of old business we need to take care of.”

The other mares gave him a curious look.

‘We should be done by lunch. We’ll meet up at Haysome’s then and see where to go from there, alright?”

The mares nodded and the unremarkable meal was rather quickly consumed. They bussed their trays over to the return window. Yards had a brief moment alone with Apple. “This really makes me miss your cooking, Apple.”
She smiled at him. The smile was warm and genuine. “It could have been better.”

“Apple, I’m sorry.”

She held her smile. “It’s okay. I’m sure you needed it.”

He smiled despite himself. “Yeah, let’s hope so. Uhm. Make sure they know everything they need to. Okay?”

She nodded.

“Be careful.” He kissed her cheek. She nodded and watched as he walked away to the waiting wing of pegasi. “Ready girls?”

“Where are we going?” Starfall asked.

Yards started out of the cafeteria and to the outside. “I’ve gotten an appointment for you two to see a specialist.”

“What kind?”

“Psychiatrist.”

Starfall stopped walking. “I can’t afford that.”

“Don’t worry. She’s a professional that works for the military. Since it happened on government business, Luna has agreed to pick up the bill.”

Starfall kicked her trot up a gate to catch up with the other two. “Why are ‘we’ going?”

“Well, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment to check on my horn, and, well...um...I want to make sure you’re both okay. You’ve both been acting kind of weird lately. I just want to make sure...you know.”

The mares looked him over with varying levels of disbelief but followed behind him.

He lead them back down to one of the newer levels of Canterlot. The Soldier’s Agency was a large, expansive campus designed to deal with all the wounded from the civil war. Some of the outlying buildings were still being constructed. All the fundamental services were in place, they were now working on specialist offices. The grounds were still being laid out. Stakes in the ground marked off future flower beds. Flags marked a tree’s new home. There were saplings in protective cages. Ones large enough to keep hungry mouths away from tender leaves. You could still see the stripes in the sod where it had been laid down. A small crowd of ponies was laying brick for the walkway.

The mental health building was a large spire with an exterior ramp complete with rail. It’s gold and white motif was accented with lavender, like most of the buildings of Canterlot. “So, she’s on the third floor. She’s got full clearance, so go ahead and tell her anything you need to.” He smiled at them as he walked them over to their building. “I’m, uh, going to be over in that building over there behind the barracks.” He pointed at a huge, squat building in the center of the campus. It’s the other unicorn building over there, probably not done yet. I should get done first, but you never know with this place.” He kissed them each on the cheek and turned to walk away. He glanced back a few times, making sure they started walking up the ramp. Then they remembered they were pegasi and flew up to the right level.

There were only two other unicorns in the waiting area. Hammering and chiseling echoed from down the hall where they were still working on the floor. The paint was fresh in the room, some of the cushions still had sale tags on them. The carpet still smelled bad. He looked at the full clipboard of papers they had given him to fill out and sighed.

This was a magical specialists. Yards had dreaded this appointment. The general practitioners had been hopefully optimistic about his magic returning. This would give him more definite results. If things didn’t go well here...even if his horn did return he might never be able to do magic again.

He was still trying to get used to everything not feeling right, like how when you wore a heavy coat and you know something is touching you, but you can’t feel it. His magic used to touch everything around him; at least on the subconscious level. Now it just felt muffled. Then there was trying to use his hoof and mouth for everything. He’d forgotten how hard things used to be before he became proficient in psychokinesis.

Flipping pages, he scribbled for what seemed like forever filling out endless bureaucratic repetition. One of the other unicorns went behind the door to the exam rooms while he desperately scribbled. Finally finished, he carried the clipboard back up to the unicorn behind the counter. She lifted it out of his mouth and floated it over to a bin by a door to the hallway on the other side of waiting room door..
“Thank you. Please be seated until we call you.”

Yards walked back to his cushion and glanced over at a table. Amazing. They were still building the place and yet they already had year old magazines.

Absently he flipped through a Better Hooves and Homes, making some notes of a tasty looking souffle for Apple to try. Why a military base had a Better Hooves and Homes magazine Yards had no idea. He hoofed through the magazine, then the other four. Then it was finally the other unicorn’s turn.

Oh for the love of… Yards ground his teeth in frustration. He looked over at the clock. Seventeen minutes had passed. How? That was something he simply HAD to research. If he could find a way to control time then he would be a very rich pony.
The receptionist woke him when it was his turn. He hadn’t realized he’d fallen asleep. Stretching muscles that circulation had stopped feeding. He stumbled as his legs strained to work again. There was an earth pony in a nurse’s cap waiting for him at the door to the hallway of examination rooms. Her coat was a light purple with a bright blonde mane. Her hair doo was a two decades old swirled bang look. Her eyes were blue disks of stoic ice.

He followed that heart shaped flank of the nurse in front of him down an institutional pea soup green hallway. She stopped in front of a scale. Obediently he stepped up and the earth pony moved weights around to find out he’d gained eight pounds. She made a note on his chart with the pencil in her mouth. Then she turned and started back down the hallway again. She opened another door and motioned him in.

Exam rooms were all the same. They were also the only thing more boring than doctor’s waiting rooms. He sighed and hopped onto the exam table. He looked around at the room. Locked cabinets kept him away from anything interesting. The same old notices were plastered on the walls. There were a few implements he was pretty sure weren’t torture devices on the wall.
The nurse sat his file on a counter and began to strap the cuff around his arm. She pumped it until he lost feeling in his foreleg. He began to rethink that whole ‘weren’t torture devices’ thought. After she was done with that, she held out a thermometer and he opened his mouth. She made little notes until it was time to pull it out. Satisfied with her findings she left the room with him all alone.

He sat there in the room waiting. The paper on the table crinkled under him. He groaned and flopped back. Ah. This was why he hated going to the doctor.

After an eternity the door opened. The nurse came back in. She gave him a smile and pulled out a measuring tape. This confused him. She began to take measurements of his head. He gave her a confused look.

“Don’t worry, Dr Kirlian will be with you shortly.”

Time. Why wouldn’t it flow right? What kind of magic was a play here? A half past eternity the door opened again. A pastel green unicorn in a lab coat walked in with his clipboard. “Yah, hello,” she glanced down at the clipboard, “Yards?”

Yards nodded. “Yeah.”

She gave him a trite smile. “Good. So, let’s have a look at your horn, shall we?” She walked over to the table. Yards could feel her magic brush away his bangs. He felt the tape rip away from the his coat on his forehead. She lit her horn and starred in close at his wound. A depressor poked him. “Does this hurt?”

“No.”

“This?”

“No.” He did his best to keep his head still but still answer her.

The depressor touched the inner core of his wound. Yards winced at that.

“Okay, that’s good.”

A band floated out of one of her oversized pockets. She sat it down on his forehead. “I’m going to channel a small amount of mana through your horn are you okay with this?”

“Are you checking loss of signal?”

“That’s an interestng annalogy. Yes, we can work with that.”

Yards swallowed hard. “Okay, mana only.”

She smiled. He could feel pressure against his forehead. The pain quickly grew through his horn. He grunted, but kept quiet. When the test ended the doctor looked at the readout on the band. Her frown told him everything he feared. “Have you been seeing some sort of holistic healer or something?”

“No. They fixed a kidney the other day in Marephis.”

The doctor looked at him. “Fixed a kidney. This sort of thing happens often?”

Yards nodded.

“There is no active-nevermind. I don’t have clearance.”” The doctor started making notes. “Have you been trying to use your magic?”

“Uh,”

“I need you to be honest.”

“Well, sometimes I forget and uhm, try to grab things.”

“Large things?”

“Define ‘Large’.”

She huffed slightly. “Anything larger than a fork or quill?”

“Probably, but nothing, foal sized. I’m pretty sure.”

She glared at him over the top of the clipboard. She made several more notes then turned and left.

Alone. In the room. Again. Was he done? Should he go? Was there going to be more? When would he know something? He slid down from the table and slowly started to make his way to the door. The doorknob turned and he quickly leapt back to the exam table. The doctor returned, pushing a small cart.

“Mr. McCanter, It’s not good, but it shouldn’t require major surgery.”

Yards let out an exhale he didn’t realize he was holding in.

“It looks like somepony tried to heal it but didn’t maintain concentration enough to direct it properly.”

“That was probably the Fires of Friendship.”

She gave him a blank look, then shook her head. He just caught her muttering about “holistic hocus pocus road apples.” “It’s your mana flow that’s growing back in wrong. She picked up a band off the cart. “Think of this as a sort of cast for your horn.”
Yards looked at the band. It was made of orichalcum and had onyx cabochons embedded across it. There was a hole in the middle for his horn. He looked at the runic etching. “That’s a mana damper.”

She seemed to be surprised. “Almost. It’s a mana governor. It will regulate the amount of mana coming through your horn, and therefore how much mana enters your body.”

“Uh, I’m part earth pony. I can generate my own.”

The doctors eyes lit up. She looked back down at the clipboard. “Ahh, that would explain some things.” She sighed, mopping her brow with a kerchief. “Are you sure?”

“It was my mom.”

“Well, that’s about as sure as you’re going to get short of adoption.” She picked up the headband with her hoof and started fiddling with it. “Hold on, let me recalibrate this real quick.” She sat it back down onto the cart. “Now, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to completely discharge your mana. It’s going to leave you exhausted; but if you’re part earth pony then you should recover quickly. I’m then going to realign your mana flow through your horn. It’s going to take an hour or so and it’s going to hurt, so I’ll give you a local. Then I need you to wear this for a month. Then come in and we’ll start stepping down the governing to allow more and more mana through. Do you understand?”

Yards nodded.

A needle floated up by his eye. “This might sting for a little bit.” The needle penetrated the core of his horn and he stifled a cry of pain. It wasn’t just one quick shot either, oh no. She rotated it slowly around inside, stinging a thousand different places. He set his face in stone, but still grunted. Then another needle floated up. Oh no. He tried his best to stifle his whimper. This one was a lot quicker and more normal. She withdrew both needles and sat them down on the tray.

“Alright, lets give that a few minutes to set up. I’ll be right back. Stay here.” She left the room, leaving Yards alone once again. His eyes began to droop. The door opened far sooner than he suspected it would have. The earth pony nurse came in with some sort of weird pole thing on a cart. Thing? Was his brain that defective?

“Please, sir, just rest your chin on this.” She guided his head over to a rest on the pole. Then she secured the back of his head with a strap to hold it still. “Alright, just hang on. The doctor will be back shortly.”

No sooner did the nurse leave but the doctor was in front of him. “It looks like you’re ready, Mr McCanter.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re ready, to go home.”

“Wha? don’t you have to do something to my horn?”

“We’re done already. The mana neutralizer knocked you out. I guess you didn’t need the local.”

“What time is it?”

“Almost 11.”

“Oh, crap.” Yards tried to get up but staggered into the doctor. “I’ve got to go get my mares.”

Yards stumbled as he got down off the table. He bumped into the doctor again. “Sorry. Wow.” Vertigo swept through him as he tried to remain on his feet. The doctor gave him a dirty look.

“Nurse Lemonjello will see you out.” She turned and opened the door, barked down the corridor then moved to hold the door for the staggering stallion. Yards made it to the doorway then leaned against the wall. The nurse showed up behind him with a wheelchair that promptly scooped him up.

They wheeled him out to the front door and into the fresh air. Once the earth was under hoof and fresh air filled his head he began to feel better. He made his way back across the grounds to the psychology building. The girls were sitting over by a bench. Toffee was rubbing Starfall’s back in a comforting manner. Starfall’s body shuddered slightly. Oh, looks like they were having a moment. He stopped to catch his breath.

The mares were setting on a bench outside the entrance to the psychologist. There was a sapling in a cage that someday would provide shelter. Not yet, though. Yards walked down the path, crunching the base rock under his hooves. Toffee heard him approach. She wiped at Star’s eyes and refreshed her mane. She smiled at her friend then up at the stallion. Toffee seemed to cough slightly.

“Hey girls.” Yards gave them ample warming.

Starfall turned around, smiling then coughed also. Something must be going around. Her eyes were bloodshot but there was a smile in them.

“How did it go?” he asked them.

Toffee held up pieces of paper in her wings, while keeping a foreleg around her friend. “Starfall’s got some prescriptions. She wants to see both of us on a regular bases so we can work through...what happened.” Her lips quivered.

Yards smiled back at the girls. “Well, we need to get going. We should catch up with the rest of the group.”

The mares nodded, grinning.

Well, at least they were happier now. Yards stumbled as he joined the mares.

“Are you okay?” Starfall asked.

Yards nodded, then regretted it. His head felt odd. He could feel his face, but couldn’t feel the air around it. It was almost like there was a protective layer around his head kind of like when he wore his helmet. “They gave me a local. I’m still a little woozy.”
The mares moved to flank him, their feathers rubbing against his sides. He struggled to maintain composure.

“‘Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown,’” mumbled Toffee.

“Wha?”

“Nothing. Where is this place? I’ve heard about it, but never actually been there.”

“Uh, over on 35th.” He leaned heavily on them. His balance still impaired.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Starfall asked for the both of them.

Yards shook his head. “They had to realign my mana flow, so they completely drained my mana. So tired.” They struggled to help support the stallion. He didn’t mind being pressed up against those feathered wings that much. To think a couple of years ago having two pegasi mares pressed this firmly against him was just idle, late night fantasy, now here they were, just helping him walk down a street. “You two are great. Know that? No really.”

They giggled. “If you decree it so.” Toffee said. The two tittered together.

Haysome’s was a Canterlot institution. It had been there for almost a hundred years. It all started out as a little hole in the wall at the train station. It was run by an old unicorn. He ran it by himself since he didn’t make much money off of it. One day while really busy he just launched food at his customers using his psychokinesis. Being unicorns they naturally caught it, but the ridiculousness of the delivery became a novelty that people came to experience. So the place grew, then there was a national puff piece on it that had been run in a lot of newspapers to fill out a page and soon people came from everywhere across Equestria to have food thrown at them. Then the war came. They went from a family focused, generous portioned style restaurant to an upscale, “ponies who could still afford it and special occasions” restaurant.

There was a short line at the door, as they had gotten there just before the lunch rush. The outside was painted in a green with yellow trim, the shutters were clean and well maintained. The door was mostly glass.

“I’ll duck in and see if everypony else is here,” offered Starfall. “By your leave,” she curtsied with a grin and ducked through the double doors.
Yards pressed himself up against Toffee to make up for his lack of support on the other side. She buckled slightly, but held him up. “So, it’s your day today?”

She nodded, blushing slightly. “You know, I’ve always wanted to try this place.”

“Me too. I figured everypony would enjoy it.”

“So, is there anything you might want to do later?”

“I don’t know, how about something you would enjoy.” Maybe nice to have a quite night at a bookstore or something. She smiled. Alright, that’s one problem down.

Starfall’s head poked back out, “We’ve already got a table, let’s go.” Yards grabbed the door from her as they cut ahead of ponies who didn’t have a reservation. They gave them a dirty look but said nothing.

The inside of the restaurant was dark wood and brass with hunter green cushions. The place was packed and food floated all through the air. The rest of the mares were all at an oversized corner booth. As soon as they saw him they all broke out into broad grins. Yards slid into the middle of the booth beside Apple. Toffee came in beside him and then Starfall at the end. In order to fit all six Yards had to press himself firmly against Apple and Toffee had to put her wing over his and Starfall’s backs while pressing her bare side against Yards’s side. They all looked at Yards with a barely contained myrth.

“Well, at least somepony feels pretty.” Catty said. That was the poke that finally burst everypony’s resistance. They all laughed. Yards rolled his head. His head smacked the hardwood column behind the booth. He could feel that his head contacted something, but didn’t feel any pain from doing it. He giggled to himself and smacked himself a few more times.

“Yards?” asked Apple.

“He’s under a local anesthetic. He’s still a little loopy,” Toffee offered for him.

“But he accessorizes so well,” said Catty.

“What?” Yards still didn’t understand what was going on.

“Your tiara.”

“It’s a mana governor. I’ve got to wear it for a few months while my horn regrows.”

The waitress came by and handed the new trio menus and asked for drinks. She smiled at Yards. “It’s so nice to see some pony so confident that they can be that open.” She then turned and left.

“Wha?” asked Yards to the girls. They just laughed.

“So, what’s good here?” asked Apple, changing the subject.

Aurora just scoffed. “This place is just a tourist rip-off. It doesn’t matter.”

“Think the oatloaf is as good as yours?” asked Starfall of Apple.

Yards closed his eyes and just enjoyed the physical contact of the two mares. Toffee ruffled her wings subconsciously, caressing his back. It was so nice. Then his face hit something again.

Yards woke up in his bed, refreshed and starving. He yawned and stretched, unsure how he had gotten home. His nose smelled food. Looking around his room he found take out containers on the foot locker. There was a bowl of tepid vegetable soup and a container with green beans, apple sauce, turnip and radish latkes and two of Haysome’s famous giant yeast rolls. His girls knew him so well. Quickly the food was devoured. The latkes were a little soggy from the applesauce and the rolls were steeped in green bean juice but it was all as tasty as he’d hoped. Now he was just really thirsty.

He slid off of the bed and into the mares’ room. It was empty. The door to the bathroom was open and there was music coming through from the other room. As he walked through the bathroom he heard the girls talking about something he couldn’t quite make out. Starfall flew past. He stopped and grabbed a quick drink from the faucet before checking in on the girls.

The other room was roughly the size of the girl’s room and furnished in largely the same way. The carpet was different. Newer possibly, but only just. It was that in between the modern industrial and the shag. The multi-height effect created a wave like look in the beige flooring. Yards thought it was called something about a loop, but carpet was never that interesting to him.

“Yards!” came the call as he emerged from the doorway. He smiled at the girls. Aurora and Apple were over by a record player, reading papers, Starfall was pinning things to a map on the wall, Toffee was talking to Catty by the bed over a cardboard box.

“Sorry, I must have zonked out pretty hard. They drained my mana and I had...no, I well, I crashed.”

“How’s your face?” asked a worried Apple.

“Okay,” he shrugged. “Thanks for the order, whoever. It hit the spot.”

“You’ve been out all afternoon. I hope you don’t mind, but we started on the case stuff already.” Toffee held up a manilla folder.
“Pfft, no, not at all. Have you found anything yet?”

Toffee flew over to where Starfall was and hovered over by her, pointing at the map. “This is where they’ve attacked.”
“It’s mostly poor and working class neighborhoods. Places nopony would raise an eyebrow over earth ponies being,” added Aurora. Yards finally recognized the band playing.

“Bandage?”

“Yeah,” answered Aurora.

He looked at Apple. “I didn’t know you liked Bandage.”

Apple blushed slightly and looked away. “I had a phase.”

Aurora huffed slightly.

“So any similarities?” he asked Toffee, going back to work.

“Oh, going by the descriptions, it looks like there’s about a dozen or so earth ponies coming and going in groups of around four. They appear to be some larger group as there’s overlap from time to time.” Toffee continued her explanations.

Yards nodded. “Any names or leads?””

Toffee shook her head. “Nothing obvious. That’s why we’re going back over the cases, trying to find something more.
Yards sighed. The girls weren’t really trained for this sort of thing, but at least it wasn’t dangerous. “So, what do you need me to do?”
Toffee shrugged, “Start reading the files, see if you recognize anything somepony else missed.”

Yards walked over to the box and grabbed a file, a pencil and a notepad. Finding a vacant corner he settled down and started reading through the reports. They were thorough and meticulous. Sparrowhawk was nothing if not detailed. He wrung every detail he could out of eyewitnesses. Too bad witnesses were so unreliable. When dealing with that much detail errors and inconsistencies quickly came to light.
Yards started keeping a list of details that were consistent, looking for a common pony. Then halfway through he got a new idea. He started looking around at the victims. Who they were, who employed them, where it happened. There had to be a pattern somewhere. Even the best of random generators still defaulted to a pattern.

Somepony sat down next to him. “It’s quite a little herd you’ve got here.”

Yards looked up into the umber eyes of Cattywompus. “Yeaah…You’re not wanting to join in too, are you?”

Catty laughed. “Goodness no. I know a trainwreck when I see it. But Aurora likes you. She talked about you all night last night.”

Yards groaned. “And you’re her friend.”

“Of course.”

“And you’re here to warn me.”

“Yup.”

“Look, I promise I’m not looking to hurt anypony or -”

“Oh no, not about that.”

Yards gave her a confused look. Catty leaned in close enough Yards could smell her sandalwood scented something. “She’s a crazy bitch.”
Yards just looked at the zebra.

“I love her like a sister, but she crazy. I don’t know exactly what happened that made her so desperate and clingy, but you had the misfortune of having the most in common with her of any stallion I’ve seen and you’ve been nice to her. You’re screwed.”

Yards pinched the bridge of his muzzle. “But I didn’t do anything.”

The zebra just grinned at him. He glanced over at the other unicorn. She was staring at him. Nervously she broke into a smile. Awkwardly, he waved at her. She quickly buried her face into her file.

“That’s not really helping.”

“I don’t want to be mean.”

“What do you want to do?”

Yards thought about it for a while. A starving man at a smorgasbord, he wanted them all. He knew it was absurd. Knew that it had to rate as one of the dumbest ideas in the history of ever. All his life he watched other stallions who had no problems with having a mare or two. But never him. Why couldn’t it be him? Because they weren’t mares, they were his friends. He couldn’t do that to them.

“I want to not be alone,” he whispered.

“What makes you think you’re alone?” Her tone and eyes were full of innocence. If she had said it any other way it would have come off as a sarcastic bitch.

“I…” There wasn’t a good explanation. He knew there wasn’t, but that didn’t keep him from feeling that way.

“When you figure it out, be sure and write a book on it. You’ll make a fortune and then you can afford more flank than you can handle. Well, even more than you can’t handle now.” She winked at him and turned to walk away to talk to Toffee.

Yards returned to his work until a bored Starfall flopped down on him.

“Hey, Yards…”

Yards tried hard to not get annoyed at the interruptions. “Yes?”

“Nothing, just...bored.”

“You could read some of these.”

“Eh, I tried. Man, why isn’t this more like a movie. Then somebody would bust in here and there’d be a daring action scene and they’d drop some vital clue that we could follow,” she said with a huff.

“Yeah, this is how it’s done in the real world. It’s rather unglamorous, I know.”

“Hey, thanks for getting me in contact with the shrink,” she whispered into his ear. He nodded to her, respecting her desire for privacy. “She, said that, uh, well…” she started pawing at his pencil. He drowned her out to focus on work. She’d say more when she was ready. Right now there was work.

“Hey, girls,” Yards interrupted what Star was about to say next, “are all of your victims unicorns as well?”

“I didn’t hurt anyone,” offered Catty.

“The ones in your reports.”

“Oh,”

“Mine are,” offered Aurora.

“Mine too,” said Apple.

Toffee was shuffling papers around, double checking. “Yeah. Of course, we’re in Canterlot. There’s a lot of unicorns here.”

“Yeah, but they’re targeting places where earth ponies would be seen. You’d think that there’d be some sort of accidental damage to an earth pony.”

“You think they’re specifically targeting unicorns?” asked Toffee.

“Like your sister was?” asked Apple.

“My sister?”

“Yeah, she said she was your sister anyway.”

“My sister is what?”

“The ponies that hijacked the train where we met Starfall,” she pointed at the pegasus, “One of them was your sister. They were upset with me for fraternizing with unicorns.”

“My sister is quarter unicorn, just like me. Why would she be upset with unicorns?”

“No, she’s three quarters earth pony.” Apple corrected.

“Semantics,” Yards waved his hoof. “Miduri-”

“Said you were too ashamed to go to your grandmother’s funeral.”

“Seafoam is alive.”

“Is that your earth pony one?”

Yards winced. “No. When Nanna Winter Melon passed, I wasn’t allowed to go. I was buried underground in a research facility. I-I really wanted to go.”

“She said it was because you were ashamed of being part earth pony. Is that true?”

“I would never say anything like that!”

“What about all that ‘I’m just an earth pony,’ stuff in Mairephis?” asked Starfall.

Everypony heard the pen drop from Toffee’s mouth onto the pad, roll off the bed then fall to the floor. Yards grunted. Starfall looked around unsure why everypony was quiet.

“I mean, you know, Messer had to give you the whole ‘you’re not an earth pony just because you lost your horn’ thing. I heard him say something about it to Shining.”

“So, earth ponies are just, what?” Apple’s voice was a low, threatening growl.

“No, that’s not what it meant. I’d lost my horn. I’d forgotten how hard it was doing things without magic. It was like before I’d started doing magic, when I was…”he tried to stop himself before he said anything too stupid. Apple wasn’t having any of it.

“When you were what?” She glared angrily at him, raising up onto her hooves.

“When I didn’t have magic. Look, if you lost a leg things would be a lot harder, right?”

“Oh, so earth ponies are all cripples?”

“No..I-I…” Yards mind ran desperately to find a way out of this.

“Yes, you think we are. If you didn’t you wouldn’t have to find a way to say yes without insulting me.”

Yards reached out for Apple but she slapped away his hoof. “No. You think I’m somehow less than you?” Her voice dropped to an angry hiss. “Is that why you broke down crying last night? Are you disappointed? Am I beneath you? Were you upset that you couldn’t get anything better than a lame little earth pony?”

“No.”

“Road apples.” She stomped into the other bedroom.

“Apple, wait.” Yards followed after her. Starfall fell off of him with a thud. He heard hesitant hooves clacking on the bathroom tile behind him. Apple was throwing her maid dress into a bag along with a few other personal possessions.

“I wondered why you didn’t see me.”

“The Princesses ordered me to Mairephis. I had to save hundred of thousands of ponies.”

“But you couldn’t walk down a flight of stairs and say goodbye?”

Yards stopped. His cheeks burned in shame that the thought had never even crossed his mind.

“I sat in that cell for three days while they processed me. I was cold, alone, scared. Did I mention alone? My daughter had been taken from me by the state. I didn’t know what had happened to my friends until Toffee and Starfall came down and told me. I was ecstatic to know that you were all safe. That the Inquisition didn’t get Delta. I waited for you to come down. The stallion I wanted to help me raise my foal. The stallion I depended on every day to make sure my farm can feed starving ponies. What am I just a job to you? Am I really just a cover? Do you really hate me?”

“NO! TApple, why would you think that?”

“OOOhhh, OH NO HE DID N’T!” Yards glared behind behind him. Cattywampus was in the bathroom, sitting on the vanity, eating popcorn out of a tub. She made eye contact with him, pumped her foreleg and shouted “WOOO WOOO!”

Apple noticed the mispronunciation of her name. “Walk me back to the castle.” She picked up her bag by the handles with her mouth. “Since I’m not allowed out without my unicorn overlord.”

“Apple!” Yards glared at her as she walked by. He trotted to catch up with her as they left the room. “Look, okay I probably should have come and checked on you. I’m sorry, but I’d just lost my horn, I wasn’t thinking straight.”

She harrumphed and pointedly looked away from him.

“I’m sorry.”

“Only that you got caught. You weren’t even interested in me at all, were you?”

“Yes, I wa-am. I’m interested. I’m just…”

“You’re what? Racists? An ass?”

No, he was scared. Overwhelmed.

“Are you not even going to defend yourself?” Her tone was more of pain and regret rather than anger.
“I don’t think less of you. I love you.”

“Road apples. If you loved me you would have fought the royal sisters to be with me.”

“I petitioned for your release. I made it a part of me agreeing to help Celestia.”

“So you did think of me, but you didn’t want to see me? Why?”
Yards could only grunt, trying to come up with some idea why it never occurred to him to go see her.

“I’m an embarrassment. That’s why. You’re ashamed of me.”

“NO!”

“If you didn’t need me you’d never even give me the time of day.”

“I said ‘I love you’.”

“Why?”

“Because...you’re…”

She stopped and looked at him, there was a lot of pain in her eyes. Yards wished to both princesses he could remove it. “Because you’re reliable, and supportive. Because I know I can trust you.”

She started walking off again. “No. I mean why did you say ‘I love you’? You’ve never said that before. Now in two days you’ve tried to use that twice to get yourself out of trouble. Do you really think I’m that stupid?”

“No.”

“You do, you think I’m just a stupid earth pony. What am I good for? I’m not even good enough for a cheap thrill?”

“Apple!”

“I can’t believe I trusted you. Do you know what this is going to do to Rhubarb? Do you even think of her?” She stopped and looked at Yards. The pain was turning to anger. “Is she why? Do you not want to burdened by someone else foal?”

“It’s not like that.”

She clobbered him once with a swing hard enough to crack a tree trunk. “You bastard!”

“I’m scared of her!”

“You worthless punk. How can you call yourself a man? You’re too scared to step up and be an adult?”

“How would you feel if all of a sudden you were dropped into a hospital and told you were a doctor? That’s what you’re asking me to do! You raised her for 10 years. You know what you’re doing. I’ve barely known her for a year.”

“She’s eight. It’s not that hard.”

“Yes it is!” This was a full fight now. All the panic he’d bottled up over little Rhu was being vented. There was no way it could get back to her. No way for little ears to be on the other side of a closed door that he might hurt. “You’re asking me to voluntarily put myself into a position where I have every shred of responsibility and absolutely no authority. It’s the definition of a no-win scenario. I’m sorry if I’m fruit bat shit terrified of not ‘if’ but ‘when’ I screw up.”

“You’re afraid for her? I’m her mother I’m terrorfied every day of what could happen to her. It’s about responsibility. It’s about growing the buck up. I guess it’s something you just don’t understand.”

“I am responsible for the lives of every freaking pony in Equestria. I’m responsible for almost every death in Equestria in the last ten years. I think I know a little something about responsibility.”

“Then why are you too afraid of being responsible for one little girl? Why are you willing to use her to keep the mother of her you claim to love at hoof’s distance?”

They had arrived at the castle. The guards did their best to not look like they were paying attention. It wasn’t the first time a couple had argued at these doors and they wouldn’t be the last.

Apple Rhubarb looked dead into Yard’s eyes. “This is your last chance.” Her hoof was on the handle of the door. This really was it. What was he going to do?

“I said it because I do love you. I was hoping being here with us would give us time to work out the kinks in our relationship so, that when Rhu came home, well, things would be in place.”

“So you were going to just leave her in that school? You expect me to abandon my child to go frolic with you?”

“No..”

“You’re right, I’m not.” She opened the door and stomped in. Just wonderful.