A Brony's Toenails in Equestria

Edward Toenailfeet didn't ask to be born the way he was. He didn't ask to have toenails that grew at a rapid-but-variable-according-to-the-needs-of-the-plot rate. But he was, and he had to learn to cope with it. Fortunately, his crazy but brilliant uncle had invented shoes with built in toenail clippers. Unfortunately, he had to sleep with them on, or else he'd wake up in the morning with really long toenails. Even taking them off to shower could leave his toenails several inches long. Brutal, man! But he was alive, and he managed to live a fairly normal life, until one day a portal to Equestria opened...