Another Eternity

The stranger gathered her cloak around her, shivering despite the heat generated by the fire. The chill that ran through her spine was not one that any mortal fire could stave off; it was one borne from years of repressed memories. Memories of powerful sorrow, of the deepest longing. Her breath shuddered as it caught in her throat. There was something that longed to escape her chest. It wanted to burst from her rib cage, to tear her form asunder in all its bittersweet viciousness.

She placed a hoof on her chest to keep it in place as she gathered her wits. The small show she had put on had only served to deepen the immersion of her present company. That wasn’t her intention but she certainly wasn’t going to complain.

“Did you hear me? Over all those years, through all those nights, did you ever hear me?”

“I…”

“You don’t have to lie to me anymore. We’re here, together now. You… just please tell me the truth. I know. I saw you cry, I saw you struggle with each breath you took, I saw you falter in your step. I wish you could’ve done more for me at the time but… did you at least hear me?”

“I did. I did hear you. I know you wanted to help. In your own way. It wasn’t the right way, at least to me. It never was, really. But I’ve something more to tell you.”

“What?”

“I knew. For years, I knew.”

“Knew what? What did you know, Celestia?”

“I saw it! I saw it in your head! I knew you resented me, resented the day. I knew you thought that nopony appreciated your beautiful, beautiful nights. And you weren’t entirely incorrect. But I could’ve shown you a few who did care. I could’ve done more for you. I don’t know why I didn’t.”

“You… you knew? Why didn’t you help me? Why?”

Luna couldn’t stand to see her sister choke like this. It hurt, to drag up the past again, but this had to be resolved. There was so much she didn’t know, so much she barely remembered from her time spent as Nightmare Moon. It was like looking through a frosted window, like peering through somepony else's dreams. These memories, these feelings, these actions… They weren’t her own, right?

They couldn’t be. She was Luna, Princess of the Moon. Not some twisted monster of the night. That much she was certain. But there was still something that burned in her veins, something that still screamed in her mind at times. It was simple to ignore these days. Being around Celestia again, having made actual friends… But before all of that, a thousand years before Nightmare Moons’ defeat at the hooves of the Elements of Harmony, her story was entirely different.

It happened first when she was very young. A voice, soft and sweet, speaking to her on a summer breeze in the deepest night. The moon hung overhead, pregnant with shimmering white light. It spoke of great power, of great promise. The thought clung to her young minds rafters and quickly built a home. It started out simply enough, really. Just slight pushes here and there, tiny observations that the voice would offer when she was alone in her domain. The voice changed over time and so did she.

She became bitter and angry. She knew Celestia didn’t value her contributions to the palace. She knew that to her she was just another puppet, another pawn to be used in her great games of political strategy. Luna had no doubt that once she had exhausted her usefulness her sister would merely discard her. She envied her control over the darker side of the day, over the shadows that crept in every hall. Perhaps envy was the wrong word. Fear. She was afraid of Luna. She didn’t understand her. She would NEVER understand her. And Luna would never give her the chance.

“I… I don’t know, Luna. I don’t know why I didn’t care more about you. Maybe you were right. Maybe I was afraid of you. I didn’t understand you, I didn’t understand the night. It was unfamiliar to me. And I was… I was so young, so STUPID. So, so stupid.”

“Celestia…”

“Let me finish, Luna. I owe you this much. I heard a voice too, when the sun beamed into my windows and it struck me just right. It told me so, so much… It spoke kindly at first. Was it that way for you too?”

“Yes. Yes, it was.”

“Mine spoke of fire soon enough, of conquering light, of blinding beams of sun shining into every corner of the globe. It was sinister. It was wrong. But I drank it up, until one day… It told me to move against you, to strike you down with my own horn. It gave me everything I needed to do it. My body felt good. I was…  I was ready. But I felt something when I went to strike you down. It radiated off of you in waves. The air was thick with it. I could feel the deepest despair. I could tell your mind was black with it, that your heart was crooked with it. And the voice was screaming at me not to falter, to attack while you were distracted. But I couldn’t do it. There was no way I could… do that to you.”

“That’s when you tried to reconcile with me, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. It was far too late for you, but that voice… That was the only reason I managed to survive. I still hear it. But I don’t need it anymore. You make me strong now. You and I are stronger than anything else.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

“I watched you for years. Decades. Centuries. I watched as time piled onto you. I watched you shudder, watched you shake with the weight of the cosmos. A part of me cared. Truly, it did. I couldn’t stand to see you like that. You didn’t have to come clean because at night, when you thought nopony was listening, I was there. As present as I could be at the least. I couldn’t watch anything but you, couldn’t think of anything but you. It was torture. Whether or not it was by your design is of no matter now. Even now I still remember how your thoughts hung in the air.”

“What do you remember?”

“I remember your fear. You knew your magic wouldn’t hold forever but you were worried that you wouldn’t be alive to see the day it broke. You feared a lonely death.”

“Like a lake left me alone in her depths.”

“Did you hear me calling? Did you hear me pleading for my release?”

“Of course. There were times where it was the only thing I COULD hear.”

“At times it was for vengeance. But there were nights — can I even call them that? — where I wanted nothing more than to help. Than to be loved.”

“I tried to love you. It wasn’t much of an effort, but I tried. Do you remember that? Before we were really at each others throats.”

A young, tired Celestia illuminated the hall with a flick of her horn. She could never quite understand why Luna kept her part of the castle so… dim. She supposed it was befitting of a pony of her demeanor but it certainly didn’t help her image.

“Luna? Are you there?”

“Where else would I be, sister?”

“Out? There is life outside the castle, you know.”

“Is there? I’ve never had a chance to see, you know. Nopony want’s to be awake while I’m awake.”

“That… is a problem, yes. But there is still nightlife. I know it doesn’t suit you but you could always try.”

“They don’t want to see me, Celestia. They want to see YOU. You make the crops grow, you make the flowers bloom, you heat the ground under their hooves.”

“Yes, but without you then there would be eternal heat. Drought. No rest, no quiet summer nights. We are meant to rule together, Luna. I can’t do this without you.”

Luna slipped out of her room, a sullen aura rolling off her. Her eyes were sunken and her posture was slack. The night sky captured in her flowing mane was outshone by the light illuminating the long hallway. She leaned against a wall, shutting her eyes against the offending brightness.

“Can you turn the light off? I want to be alone.”

Another horn flick and the light died, leaving the two of them in the cold dark. Celestias’ coat glowed from the inside out, illuminating the area around her. This light found itself caught and reflected by Lunas’ own purple coat. Like the sun to the moon.

“I wish you didn’t glow like that.”

“I wish you’d glow more. You know I love it when you—“

“Catch your light? Is that what you want me to be? A mirror? You’ve got plenty of mirrors, Celestia, I don’t see why you’d need me.”

She was taken aback by the venom in Lunas’ voice but she caught herself. Patience was a virtue, though Luna tried hers on a regular basis these days. “Because a mirror isn’t my sister. A mirror doesn’t have the same radiant mane, the same soothing voice, the same soft laughter. A mirror isn’t the Princess of the Moon. I can’t talk about how utterly silly Starswirl is to a mirror. I can’t play chess and get thoroughly trounced by a mirror. There’s quite a bit a mirror can’t do, you know. It’d help if you looked in one one of these days.”

That went too far, even for sisterly bickering. There was no reply, only a shattering of the glass lamp that hung between them and a swift exit from Luna. Celestia sighed and scooped up the shards. The least she could do was clean up the mess her sister had made.

Luna chuckled. It was a soft burbling from the very back of her throat, a slight display of mirth that made her face shine. “In hindsight I suppose that mirror comment wasn't half bad. You were definitely witty back then.”

“I’m still witty now. I just try to avoid insulting the ponies I love. Or steer away from genuine insults, at least. I can’t help myself but slip in a few pokes here and there.”

“You are still catty, that much is true.”

“I try. Did I ever tell you how I felt on the night you escaped?”

“I don’t believe you have. Not in full, at the least.”

Celestia was content. Terrified, but content in her fear. She knew what tonight carried on its winds. The bonds that held Luna — no, Nightmare Moon — would be weak enough for her to escape. It had been a long thousand years. Even longer without her dear sister. But how much of Luna was left after all this time? How much of her sweet sister still remained in the monstrous spirit of night that now enveloped her? Only time would tell.

And time did. It did more than tell, really. It struck with all the vengeance in the world. It sent her tumbling to the ground. It cracked her breastplate, it scorched her fur, it rendered her wings useless. It nearly overtook her. It was only through sheer will that she survived that initial barrage and it was only through her continued defiance that Nightmare Moon saw it fit to keep her alive.

“You are still weak.”

“I’d… hardly call myself weak. I’ve been raising the sun and moon for a thousand years.”

“Parlor tricks. You know nothing of power. What do you think you can do against me?”

“Nothing. It’s not my place to do anything. That is a task for another pony.”

“Oh? Do you have guards?” She stomped her hoof and a wave of energy ripped through anything around the two of them. It revealed nothing.

“No. I’ve told them to stay far, far away from me. From you. You aren’t going to hurt anypony but me.”

“Is that so? That’s fine by me, really. I don’t WANT to hurt anypony but you. Because it wasn’t them who imprisoned me. It wasn’t them who payed me no heed. It wasn’t them who denied my friendship, my affection, my sisterhood. It was you.”

Celestia struggled to her hooves, her frame battered and broken. She would heal quickly once this passed but for now her magic was entirely devoted to keeping her alive. “I never wanted your sisterhood. I wanted Lunas.’” She was sent tumbling to the ground again, her previous effort to stand against her assailant being for naught. It was more symbolic than anything else, really.

“That’s too bad then, isn’t it. She’s gone. You know that. I know that. You had best get used to Nightmare Moon, sweet Celestia, because that is the last face you will ever see.”

“You are strong, you know.”

“Not to sound immodest but yes, I do know. I had to be. And not for them, not for me. But for you. I missed you, sister.”

“I know you did. I know you did.”