Chapter 9 – A Bizarre Day

Chapter 9 – A Bizarre Day

It’s been an entire week of me “helping” Applejack in her barn and let me tell you; if I had the choice between going to military school and staying another week in this place, I choose the military because this place is my hell.

For my entire life everything was always handed down to me with ease and when something was needed fixing or installed, there was a guy to do them. But this place was a far cry from where I was. There was Applejack and Big Macintosh, finally learned his name, that’s basically the entire crew with the help from there little sister in most occasion. I don’t know how they haven’t died from exhaustion but I’ll give them credit, they are tough.

For me however that’s a whole different ballgame. The first day was terrible considering I had a black eye thanks to my current boss [who is a total bitch by the way], nearly died for carrying 50 barrels worth of cider, and I taught three kids how to curse which will probably screw me over later. The days that followed got worse for me, there were parts in my body that hurt so much, I didn’t know there were in the first place.

This one time Applejack ask me to help fix her barn by nailing some walls that needed covered. When she gave me the hammer I looked at it like it was something I never seen before. I have but I never used it for anything to begin with. It was simple for me at first; all I had to do was hammer the nail to the wall. Simple right? WRONG! I thought if I hit it in one go it would help end my chore quickly, but all it ended was me having a broken thumb and index finger. I couldn’t do anything with my fingers for days but that didn’t stop her for making my life hell.

I had to move barrels, do errands, and this one time I had to walk her sister to their school. That last part wasn’t unpleasant per say, but none the less, my body felt like shit.When Tuesday came, I was one day close to payday whatever I was getting better been worth all the pain. Oh and more good news is that my eye got better I mean there’s still a bit of black in them but it’s hardly noticeable.

“Ok so what sort of sadistic idea you planned for me now Applejack?” I wasn’t even trying to hide the fact I hated her.

“Actually I’ll be gone for a little while so Big Mac here is going to tell you what to do next. Until then see you later.” Like that, she left the place to get to whatever she needed to go leaving me with her brother.I look at him angrily. I don’t hate the guy, I just feel uncomfortable with him after what he did to me last week. Still I just got to keep a sharp eye out on him so I can ditch work when he's not looking. I have not stopped working in this place not even for weekends and I haven’t been in the town to visit because I felt weak during my “job”.

“So what sort of crap do you want me to do?” I ask him rudely. He just pointed at the tree in front of my direction thinking I know the answer.

“So what am supposed to do? What do you want me to do with the tree?”

“I want you to buck the tree.” He answered.

“You want me to just kick the tree like how Applejack does it?”

(Ok is this guy high or something.)

“I can’t do that! I may have strong legs but I’m not that strong!”

“Then try I want to see if you’re telling the truth.”

Oh yeah over the course of me staying here, there were times where I slacked off in most jobs but no matter how my lies were covered and perfect, Applejack was able to know when I was lying when I was telling the truth. How the hell does she know? It’s like she’s a living breathing lie detector. Guess she must have told him I’m a slacker or something.

“Fine but if I pull a muscle or break my back you’re carrying me to the hospital.” He agreed to the terms and I was getting ready to do that thing Applejack does. I positioned myself on all fours and was ready to “Buck” those trees. I reared my legs and prepared to kick the tree with all my strength which ultimately failed.

“Son of a…” Before I could finish, the three little fillies were looking at a far distance. Damn there innocent looks I can’t curse around them.

“Belgium waffle” was all I can say after I failed my first attempt. I looked back and say that nothing fell.

“Figures I’m not as strong as…”

“Bonk”

“Ow. Who threw that…?” When I looked at the ground I gasped when just a single apple was right in front of me.

“Hot damn I guess I have gotten stronger.” Wait until Jason gets his one up pence when I get back.

“Not bad, but you really were giving it your all and well...” Yeah from a humans stand point, it’s an achievement but to them it means I suck that’s what he’s trying to tell me.

“Yeah told you I couldn’t do it, but hey progress.” I told him. He reached out his hoof to me to help me up. I accept his offer I mean he did promise to help me if I hurt myself.

“So what sort of other jobs I should do other than kicking apple trees.” I asked relieving the backache.

“I think this one time; I’ll let you have a day off.” He said.

“Mind repeating that again to me?” He can’t be serious.

He told me before I came to work for them; he was the one helping with all the work if Applejack was off with her friends. Big Mac also said that when he first saw me, I was some sort of monster trying to eat his Grandma so that was the reason why he attacked me. When I was working he saw all the times I tried staying up and the time I hit my hand with the hammer for the first time.

Guess that meant I have no ill will, despite my threat to his sister not to long ago. Or maybe it’s because I’m liability and that I’ll end up hurting myself even more if I keep working.

“Wow umm thanks I guess.” That’s all I can say considering this is sort of new to me. I walk out of that place and headed to the town. When I finally got there I just realized I have no bits.

(Shit I forgot about the currency here. How am I supposed to get bits?) I kept walking until I heard a familiar sound of fighting music, kids laughing and the occasional “You beat my high score!”

(I know those sounds. It’s…) I was in the middle of an outdoor arcade place. Holy hell an actual arcade now I really am at my home field but I’m still poor so how the hell am I supposed to pay to play.

“Aww fiddle sticks it ate my bits.” Said a small colt that was next to a token machine. Guess the machine was busted. Not on my watch.

“Don’t’ worry kid I know what to do. All you need to know is hit the right spots and…” I pound the machine at the spots that need to be hit and BAM out pops four of his tokens. I took them and gave them back to him.

“Wow thanks and I only put two bits in there thanks Mr.”

“Don’t mention it kid.” As he was walking away, an idea came to me. As more come to change for tokens, I asked them for two bits, I’ll give them twice the amount of tokens they needed. It was going well for 10 minutes until the owner came in asking what I was doing here he was looking at me suspiciously but I told him a lie I just came up at the spot.

I told that moron his machine was busted and that I stayed there to make sure the kids don’t have their bits taken. He went to the machine and put bits in there to see if I was lying to him. He apologized after inserting three only nothing to pop out. He later thanked me and told me he’ll fix it. He then put the “out of order” sign and that I left the place before he knew I just took a shit ton of bits from his broken machine.

As I was walking away, I found a place to count my bits and I just accumulated about 120 bits from my plan.

(Well shit that’s some accomplishment.) I thought to myself.

“Now that I got bits, now what?” I asked myself. I looked around the market place to see if there was anything I can get. There was a coffee shop around the corner and I went inside. Hadn’t had a decent cup of coffee for weeks.

(Seriously Applejack needs to buy coffee if she’s expecting me to do my best.)

I paid 5 bits for the coffee and when my order was ready and I grab the cup and find a seat somewhere near a window. As I was waiting for it to cool down, someone tapped my right side.

“Um excuse me but… is this seat taken?”

I turn to whatever the voice came from and it was this mare with a grey coat, a blonde mane. What was weird were her eyes. Her left eye was looking at me but on her right it was looking away at a different direction.

(Huh never met a cross-eyed chick before. Got to say; she’s kind of cute.) I thought to myself.

I wasn’t going to be rude so I answered her to sit at my table. I’m mean I wasn’t going to stay their anyways. As soon as I’m finished with my drink I’m just going to leave.

“Thanks mister.” said the crossed-eyed pony.

“Don’t mention it.” I replied.

We were sitting in our seats for a few minutes without speaking to one another and it got to the point where it got really awkward at this point until she spoke up.

“In case you were wondering my names Ditsy, Ditsy Do.”

“Ummm good to know?” Was all I can say. Not much for a conversationalist, just a wise shit talker.

“Well nice to meet ya, Good to Know.” She then extends her right hoof.

“Wait that’s not my real name. It’s David Grant. Sorry I gotten you confused for my sarcasm.”

“I know I just want to see how you’d react.” She then smiles once she finish.

“So what brings you here to this place?” I asked trying to strike up a conversation.

“Isn’t it obvious.” She raises an eye brow. But I can’t take her serious with that eye of her it’s kind of funny but also adorable at the same time.

“Ok but seriously I have a question and I’m not being rude but why are you sitting next to me? Don’t you find me different and at the least, scary.” I asked because most of the ponies I’ve meet just moved away when I was trying to find a place to count my bits.

“Different yes, scary no. Just because you’re bigger than most ponies, doesn’t make you scary.”
Huh. I didn’t expect her to say that. Then again a bunch of colts were thanking me for giving them two free extra tokens at that arcade place without even flinching at me.

“Ok now that I got that out of the way I have one more question. What’s with your right eye by the way? Is it some sort of medical condition or some kind of birth defect? If it’s something you don’t want to talk about, its fine.”

“It’s fine really I gotten those questions a lot whenever somepony is new in ponyville but for you it’s fine. To answer your question yes it’s a… birth defect.” She was beginning to look sad. I guess she must have been picked on when she was little.

“Well if it makes you feel any better…” I showed her my right hand to her, showing her my birth mark. ”I have a Birth defect too.”

“Isn’t that Celestia’s cutie mark in your… umm…”

“Hands.” I answered.

“Yeah. Wait you were born with it?”

“That’s what I said.”

“So you can move the sun too? That’s amazing.” She looked astounded.I told her that where I come from magic doesn’t quite exist in our world and humans aren’t able to do magic.

“Then how are you able to survive harsh weather can’t humans control the weather?”

I also explained that humans can’t control the weather and the only way to live thought the harsh weather is to either build a house or buy one. Not only that but I told her all the necessity’s a home needs food, plumbing, electricity, etc.

“Wow that’s amazing. But what do you eat?”Damn I really didn’t want to tell her the truth. That I eat meat, but I certainly don’t want to cause a scene or her gathering a mob. So I kind of stretched the truth.

“I eat all kinds of fruits and vegetables but I can’t eat like most of you ponies eat.”

“Like what?”

“Hay, flowers and grass that kind of sums it up.”

“Weaw good because I was going to ask you if you want a bite of my daisy sandwich thank goodness you told me beforehoof.” We both sort of laugh a little; well me forcing myself to laugh since it wasn’t funny.

“Ok I answered your questions now it’s time I ask you questions.”

“OK.”

I asked her what sort of questions that have been bugging me since I got here like how the currency works here, what sort of jobs do ponies do, especially what she does for a living. What I didn’t expect was that all Pegasi can control the weather not to mention they can stand on the clouds above.

“Wow I didn’t know Pegasi can do those sorts of things I mean I read about this sort of thing back at home, but I never thought I get to see one in real life.”

“Whys that?” Asked Ditsy.

“Well to be honest, Pegasi and Unicorns don’t exist in my world but these “Earth ponies” do but there not like you per se.”

“Care to explain?” she asked.

I told her what the animals back in my world are, like how we treat them as domesticated animals and or pets for working on farms and all that such.

“That… that sounds horrible. “

“Relax if your thinking I’m one of those people your sorely mistaken. In fact, I never would do that to them I guess most humans have guts to do it but most of us can’t.”

“I knew you were a nice human from the start.”

“Nice? No way I’m more in the line between bad to terrible.”

“Why?”

I told her what happened to me over the past week. I just left out the part about me sort of attacking there princess, me being on Twilight’s bed shirtless, and Applejack crying but me drop kicking her was something I had to retell. Because that shit was hilarious and will never stop being funny.

“So that’s what happened to Applejack.” Ditsy having the reason Applejack got sent to the hospital. However she doesn’t seem fazed by this.

“You’re taking this way too well after what I did to Applejack.” Yeah no one should look this calm.

“I wouldn’t blame you if you stole those items but then again you really shouldn’t have. You could have waited for Twilight to wake up.”

(Trust me if I did, it would have been a weird morning for both of us.)

“Regardless never stealing again. You have my word.”

(That is until no one is looking.)

She then went on about the party Pinkie threw when I came to this world, said that at first I looked weird almost like a hairless/hornless Minotaur.

(So they do exist.)

She then told me about a few minutes in the party I became a completely different person a few minutes later, something I never hear from someone or pony of all things too. She said that I became chatty, played a few party games in which I beat anyone that was against me, and competed in a dance off with Pinkie of all ponies. They all said that it was a close call but Pinkie ultimately won at the end. Then they all made rumors that I was almost the same party animal as Pinkie.

(Dear god that’s a scary thought. Me. Being in the same level as her. I rather kill myself then become anything like her.)

“Well I need to go. I have a few unfinished businesses to take care of.”

“Ok. But do you want to meet up here again?”

I turn around to think about my answer. She is fun to talk to but then again I don’t want to get too attached to her otherwise if I can find a way to leave this place, then it’s going to crush me or her when we say goodbye.

“I’ll think about.” It was my answer considering I never promised I meet her.

“Great. Well see yah later.” I exited the place and walked around the entire town to see if things were getting interesting here. Turns out there’s nothing for me to do so I went to Twilights home to see if I can mess around in her lab.

(Or should we call it our lab now.) Jack began laughing and so did I because that part wasn’t a lie since Twilight and I made a deal.

(Oh no.)

20 minutes later…

As I finally made it to the library, I opened the door only for it to not budge. I could just find a hairpin to open the lock but where can I even find a store that sells it. I could just head to the boutique where Rarity works but I think I’m banned from that store due to me drop-kicking one of her friends or maybe Sweetie Belle might have used one of the words I accidentally let out last week.

(So that’s out of the question) I thought.

(There’s always the old fashion way.) Jack suggested.

“Worth a shot.” I talked to myself.

(What are you two planning?) Axel asked.

I grabbed a random rock and I was ready to throw it. Axel was screaming in my head begging me not to but Jacks chanting me to do it. I know Jacks playing me and that as much as I love causing destruction, I can’t since I don’t want to cause anymore mischief without someone taking the blame. I dropped the rock and knocked to see if
Spike was inside the building.

(Sorry where are our manners? My name, that David gave me, is Axel.)

(Names Jack bitches. Were both his thoughts.)

Yeah theses “guys” have been annoying for the past week with their endless banter. Their harmless; well Axels is cool but Jack however well let’s say he’s unstable.

(Forgot the Dragon lives here too.)

(And thank the heavens he does.) Axel sighed.

(Man both of you are no fun at all.) Jack huffed.

The door opened up and on the other side was Spike.

“Hey what’s up?” I asked him.

He was about to close the door on me but I was quick enough to block it with my foot. I guess he must have heard what happened to Applejack.

“Look I get you angry at me for causing harm to Applejack but if you just listen to what I have to say…”

“Why should I? And why are you here?” He said as he was trying to lock me out but seriously he could have just moved my foot to close the door.

“Look I got hungry so I thought I come here and make myself something to eat plus I can’t steal anything not after what happened last week. I’m trying to be a better person.” I explained.

(Wait couldn’t we just buy ourselves something to eat?) Axel spoke.

(What’s the point of having a roommate if we didn’t mooch off her fridge?) he answered with a chuckle.

(I hate you.)

(Hate you too love.) Jack replied back.

“You promise?” He asked a bit uneasy.

“I swear to God I won’t.” I empty promised.

“Fine I’ll let you in, but I’ll know what items you stole from here.”

“Fair enough.” Beside there’s nothing to steal here since it’s a library. Who’d steal a book anyways?

Spike opened the door and let me in side. This place isn’t half bed but what my main objective was the kitchen.
Once I get there, I opened the pantry to see if there was any bread. After I found the bread, I go to the fridge to get cheese and butter to make myself a grilled cheese.

Spike notice what I was going to make and he asked if I can make one for him. I did and after making both of the sandwiches, I asked what Twilights been up to after the week I was gone.

“It’s been going great however today…” Spike stopped.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Twilight has been worrying about turning in a report for Celestia. It’s the final week she was supposed to report and now she’s getting worked up over it.” he answered.

“I don’t see what the big deal is anyways. I bring in tardy work or finish my homework on the last day and I don’t get worried.”

“Try telling her that.” he snickered.

“I would but I bet her response would be; Beep Boop Boop does not compute.” I did the best impression of a
robot as I can. After I said that we both laughed about the thought of Twilight being a robot or a synth for that matter.

“Your right she acts more robot then most ponies but she tries.” I agreed and both of us finally finished our sandwiches. Once we were done, I head to the basement door but I stopped and wondered a bit.

“Hey Spike, want to come down the basement and play in the lab?” I asked Spike. He was hesitant to come along saying he shouldn’t go down without Twilights permission. I told him he has to because I can’t read their language so if I mixed the chems incorrectly I could end getting hurt or worse die. Still didn’t convince him, but I told him if worse comes to worse I’ll handle the blame.

He finally comes with me and we head in not knowing what sort of wacky science will happen.

Few hours later…

A couple of hours have past but we hear stomping noises on top of us. Spike said that the noise will be resolved later; I listened to him because we were making rock candy and other types of candy and we can’t goof up any of them, after that I got another idea for an experiment.

A few more hours later…

“Ok Spike whatever you do, don’t move.” Ok now we are in big trouble now. I told Spike not to start the experiment without my go and here we are, him holding out a claw full of pure powder potassium hovering over a tank full of water. With that much potassium he could blow us all up to kingdom come.

“Now I want you to move slowly away from the tank Spike. I believe in you.” I comforted him giving him confidences but inside I thought…

(Oh God…)

(We’re going…)

(To die!)

As he was moving I didn’t notice and saw that there was an ink bottle behind him.

“Wait stop” I was too late to warn him and when his foot stood on top he started to lose balance, flaying his arms making him let go of the powder. A few missed its mark but the rest of them hit the tank.

“Oh Fuuuuu…”

During the same time…

“But Princess how did you…” Before Twilight could ask how Celestia knew of her breakdown there was a sudden loud noise coming from the basement door. It was David but what he said was “Wait stop” not too long before the door to the basement erupted out of the now smoky room. Everypony that was inside the library were speechless from the unsuspecting explosion and what came out of the smoke was Spike covered in soot and along came David who is also covered in soot but with goggles on.

David’s point of view…

“HOLY F@^K-BALLS THAT WAS AWESOME!” I yelled. I think. I lost my hearing when the explosion happened but I don’t care that was awesome.

“WHAT!” Spike mouthed. Damn I really did bust an ear drum or two. I looked at the mane six and Princess Celestia all with wide gapping mouths. Guess they must have heard of the explosion I mean who wouldn’t.

“LOOK I KNOW THIS LOOKS BAD BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU, NOTHING HAPPENED.” I think I said those words. Seriously can’t tell what I said.

What I do know was that Twilight was looking super pissed by mouthing something I couldn't understand at the moment. During the lecture, Twilight seemed to understand that talking to me was pointless, she then turned to Spike and brought an ink bottle, paper, and feather.

When she was done she was writing something on the paper and showed it to me.

|You’re staying with me once you get you hearing back. Applejack told me you can’t work not until you can hear again.|

(Yes! Now I can kick back and relax.) Twilight also wrote another message.

|But by tomorrow you and Spike are going to clean up the lab.|

(Damn it.)

After the whole incident was resolved, the girls and Celestia all went their separate ways. Spike, Twilight, and me all went to our beds only for one slight problem. There was only one bed and since the lab was my room to begin with it, it was destroyed. So Twilight and I had to make due by sharing a single, again.

I grabbed a feather, ink and paper and wrote what I had to say. I showed her what I wrote only for her to get a confused look.

(You got to be kidding me.) I complained.

I threw my hand up in frustration and just to decide I didn’t care what I was going to do next. I lifted my shirt and took off my pants. Once I was in my boxer's, I just sat on the bed then covered myself in sheets. I didn’t know what her reaction was I just didn’t care. Eventually I felt someone else enter the bed. Guess Twilight didn’t mind.

(Sigh today really isn’t my day is it?) I complained.

(Well I’m still getting payed by tomorrow anyways so after I’m finish cleaning up my mess, I’ll head back to the farm to collect my payment.)

And thus ends my first week here I wonder what sort of hell I’ll be getting into the next day.

End of chapter 9

Author's Note

Holy Crap this is the longest chapter I've ever made. I try to keep this under 3,500 or less but its been hard not to go overboard. thanks to all those who read this story so far and thanks to theanonymousbrony for clearing an error and for also helping me reassess with my writing a bit (I'll make sure to fix that.). And to those that have been reading this story so far, thanks a bunch. Ghost, out.