Twilight Sparkle Fucks the Featured box

So then the great trollficer Argembarger gave me some words. I am posting them as chapter two w/o reading them. Because I have contempt for all readers.

Spike walked up to the podium where the sexy Prereader Coalition of Reading Pre sat, looking down at the vast expanse of bullshit fanfictions. He looks like this in case you didn’t know what Spike looked like:

“Hello my prereader friends I have brought a fanfiction for you that I want you to read because it’s the best thing I’ve ever written I spent months and months on it, writing it and perfecting it and I hope it’s good enough for your discerning eyes and if it isn’t can you please give me a full review of the entire story pointing out every single mistake? You owe it to me I am entitled god damnit” Spike said.

The Prereader Coalition of Reading Pre stroked its noble beard and said “monz lol”

Spike went “NO!” just like in the owl episode and it looked like this:[img] http://i245.photobucket.com/albums/gg78/evalana/blog%202/mlpfim_ep1920.png[/img]

The Prereaderman said “You have used up your first strike… or should I say, your first SPIKE??”

Spike groaned and exploded when Pinkie Pie burst out of his chest with her really real canon teleportation powers.

“Hi mister!” Pinkie Pie said.

“Aw, it’s my favorite pony Pinkie Pie!” the Prereader Group of Fanfiction-Sex said, “Hey Pinkie Pie! I’m your biggest fan!”

“I know.” Pinkie Pie advanced on the Prereader Equalgroup of Not Interested Supermen, blade raised high. “I’m here to end it all.”

The Prereaders dodged with lightning quick maneuvers! Pinkie Pie lashed out with shining honor-blade and struck only air! Punch! Whack! Thwap! They fought like bloodied bandits for over twenty years. Everything was on fire or dead. Only Pinkie Pie and the Prereadering Doops stood remaining and alive.

“Stop!” They heard a voice yell ‘Stop!”. “Stop, please!” It was the Readership. The Readerbase. The Reading Rainbow.

“Please don’t fight! I need both of you in my life. I need Pinkie Pie to be so random and I need the Prereaders to keep fanfictions from making Pinkie Pie kill Rainbow Dash!”

“We know, babe,” Pinkie Pie said, “I’d much rather make out with Rainbow Dash than kill her, anyway.”

Spike walked up. “What’s going on here, guys?” They told him to shut up and go away.

Wow this is the best chapter of all time. I’m so good at writing guest chapters. Maybe if I do a good enough job, this fic will really get featured and then people will know that I, Argembarger, am a prolific writer and they will want to watch me and look at my stuff. I would be so happy if a bunch of random strangers clicked on my name and went to my page and followed my silly goofy antics that everyone loves. Man, everything about me is just so endearing and great. I am a good writing-person.

Anyway sorry for that interruption, Reader, back to the story!

You were there too. Yes, you! You were in Equestria! And you saw the fighting go down but you didn’t do anything because you suck.

You decide to leave Pinkie Pie and the PreReadingReaders alone and go exploring! You walk up a hill and see some more hills. You flip a coin to decide which hill to walk up and you choose the left one. Beyond that hill is a forest. The Everfree Forest, you’d wager, because there are no other forests. You enter the Everfree Forest like a badass and you find the river where Stephen Magnet is! Hooray! Stephen Magnet is your favorite character in the whole show. He comes up from the river’s surface and says “Hello there person, I am your favorite character Stephen Magnet and I am here to eat you!”

You’re so into vore that you let Stephen Magnet eat you.

You slide down his throat and into his gullet and you meet Snips and Snails! Oh boy, Snips and Snails are your favorite characters in the whole show. You high five both of them and they smile at you and go “Gee whiz, it’s a human being!” except you weren’t a human being because you got turned into a pony for no explicable reason when you entered Equestria. “Oh boy, a pony! A fellow pony just like us!”

You enjoy hours of exciting adventures in Stephen Magnet’s innards before he poops you out, whole and happy, in a pleasant meadow of flowers. You see Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy. That’s all the ponies! Because you saw Pinkie Pie earlier, you have now met every single My Little Pony pony and you can finally die happy.

You reach inside yourself and pull out your biological flux capacitor. You hear a swhooshing sound as you get zorped back into the Real World.

You will never ever forget the wonderful adventures you had in Equestria. So much fun cannot be compared to any earthly delights. You slip under your covers and dream of My Little Pony.

Here is what your dream is like:

You’re in Equestria, writing a fanfiction. You’re a Dragon and your name is Spike. You serve Twilight Sparkle a whole bunch, writing letters for her and cleaning up messes and such, but now you want to write Fiction! Fan Fiction! The only problem is, you need readers, and the readerbase is protected by the vicious guardian Pre Reader. You give your Fan Fiction to the Pre Reader, and he judges it acceptable. Barely.

Out runs the beautiful maiden Reader Base. You slip your tongue into her mouth and move it all around. She slaps you in the face for being too forward and you wake up.

Ah well, you say. So much for your BETTER life in Equestria. Time to go back to your boring-ass real life life. You get on your computer and boot up your Desktop Ponies and get on Derpy News Network and start reading about all the things that happened. You look at images of ponies. You read fanfictions of ponies. You do this until the day you shuffle off your mortal coil. Pony pulls the swaggin’.