No Need For Ponies

It was another beautiful day in mountainous outdoor regions of Okayama, Japan. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and only a few white clouds were in the sky. The wooden guardians, Azaka and Kamidaki, stood in guard by the gate of the Masaki residence as they complemented this fine morning.

“Ho ho ho, isn’t this a lovely day, Kamidaki?” Azaka asked.

“Yes, indeed it is, Azaka.” Kamidaki replied.

“I wonder how Lord Tenchi is doing with his usual training with Lord Yosho.”

“Let’s hope he does not give too much trouble to the young lad.”

As to be expected, Tenchi Masaki was at the Masaki Shinto shrine, currently doing his morning sparring with his grandfather, Katsuhito Masaki (A.K.A Yosho Jurai). As usual, both participants exchange sword blows with their bokkens, but his grandfather still had the advantage over him as he shows little of easily dodging Tenchi’s strikes.

“I see that you’ve gotten soft these days, Tenchi.” Katsuhito commented. “Don’t think that you can relax after you manage to defeat my old rival and somehow manage to survive facing against a space criminal that was after your mother’s life in the past.”

“You’re just saying that to hide the fact that you want to train me again since I’m on summer break, old man.” Tenchi replied as they continued their sparring. “At least I deserve some rest for everything I’ve been through.” They clashed each others' wooden swords as both push against each other with them.

“True, but you should be fully aware that you’re now a Juraian prince, and next to the throne. There’s not even little rest when there’s so much you need to learn, especially how to control your Light Hawks Wings’ Sword.”

Tenchi grit his teeth as their training testified. “I told you already that I don’t want to be a prince on a far off planet. All I want is to enjoy a peaceful life here. Besides, what good would my powers do if there’s nothing bad going on?”

A smirk appear across Katsuhito’s face as he said, “But that doesn’t mean you should let your guard down…especially NOW!” With that said, Katsuhito performed a leg sweep, causing Tenchi to collapse and fall on his rear. He placed his hands on his hips and laughed with his eyes closed at Tenchi’s loss. “This is why I need you to train yourself more, maybe taking your whole summer break in improving yourself should suffice. Ha ha ha ha ha!”

But as soon as Katsuhito opened his eyes, he broke a sweat as soon as he noticed Tenchi in front of him with his bokken pointed very close to his grandfather’s neck. Tenchi smirked back at his grandfather. “Do you still think I’ve gotten soft, huh Gramps?”

Katsuhito slowly pushes down the point of his grandson’s bokken, placed a close fist close to his mouth and coughed a few times. “Okay, maybe you haven’t gone weak…yet. Guess I would say you can train once or twice a week to make sure your skills won’t rust.” Tenchi smiled with satisfaction after hearing that and accomplishing in getting back at his grandfather. Katsuhito placed his arm around Tenchi’s shoulders as he tapped his bokken on his own shoulder a few times. “Well, we should be heading back to the house for breakfast. We don’t want to keep Sasami and the others waiting now, don’t we?”

“Right.” Smiled Tenchi.

Both grandfather and grandson walked together as they climb down the steps of the shrine.

“You know I’m still better than you, since I took you down first.” Said the grandfather.

But Tenchi shot back, “No way! That leg sweep was really cheap and sneaky.”

“And it shows that you’re still unprepared. No Juraian prince should ever fall from an attack like that.”

With a shrug, Tenchi replied, “Oh, please…”

**********************

We now focus at the Masaki household. In the kitchen, we see the cute and adorable little princess of Jurai, Sasami Jurai, cooking breakfast for everyone while the curious cabbit, Ryo-Ohki, rests on Sasami’s head as she stares down at her work. We hear Sasami humming to the song “I am a Pioneer” while frying some eggs. By the kitchen table, everyone’s favorite bumbling Galaxy Police officer blonde, Mihoshi Kuramitsu, sat by it as she looked over Sasami’s cooking and she started to drool a bit from her mouth. She suddenly got hit on the head by a closed fist belonging to her best friend, yet serious partner in galaxy crime fighting, Kiyone Makibi.

“Didn’t I told you to behave while we’re being guests here?” said Kiyone in a harsh tone.

A tear-eyed Mihoshi replied, “I’m sorry, Kiyone. It’s just that I’m so hungry. I can’t help it if I’m eager for Sasami’s cooking.”

Sighing, Kiyone said, “I guess I can’t blame you for that. We haven’t had much luck on job hunting these days and we’ve been low on funds again… BUT I CAN BLAME YOU FOR GETTING OURSELVES FIRED FROM OUR LAST JOB!!!”

“Eek! How would I know that giving the wrong change while I was behind cash register back at our McDonalds job would get us fired?”

“It's not just that. You even messed up one of the fryers I was working on when I told you turned up the temperature a bit for me.” Sasami could only sweat in exasperation as Kiyone showed her angst to Mihoshi. Kiyone calmed down and sighed once more as she rubs Mihoshi’s head and apologizes to her of being too stern to her. “It can’t be helped, things happens like this as usual, for us that is. I feel we both are such a bother for staying over here again. I just hope Tenchi , his dad, and his grandfather don’t mind.”

“It's okay, Kiyone. You and Mihoshi are always good people to us so you’re always welcome here.” Said Sasami with a shy smile.

“Appreciate the kind words, Sasami. But I can’t help but feel we’re being freeloaders here.”

“Do not threat, Miss Kiyone.” Said the voice of the person entering the kitchen. “You and Mihoshi are all fine here. But I do know we have one true freeloader in this house that I have no need to mention her name.”

It was Ayeka Jurai, Sasami’s older sister, who spoke and just suddenly appeared in the kitchen. She holds a pen and a piece of paper as she currently tries to work on her next haiku, most obviously another one explaining her love for Tenchi.

“You’re finally here, big sister.” said Sasami.

Ayeka replied, “I apologize, Sasami. I would have come down sooner but I was currently stuck writing this new haiku.”

“Don’t tell me you were stuck in our room writing more of your haikus again.”

“Yes, indeed I have.”

“Ooh, I’m really curious what you’ve worked on so far.” Mihoshi added.

Sasami and Kiyone silently gestured not to ask her that to Ayeka.

But it was too late, Ayeka heard Mihoshi clearly and beams with delight. “Oh, thank you for asking, Miss Mihoshi. I would love to share what I work on so far.”

Kiyone and Sasami sighed in disappointment knowing in what expect. Mihoshi is still unaware of why both of them are not approved of hearing Ayeka’s haiku. Ayeka clears her throat as she prepares to read her haiku:

“Oh, Lord Tenchi.

“My Knight in Shining Armor.

“Show me your True Love, Please.

“By Ayeka Jurai.”

Mihoshi applaud for Ayeka’s haiku reading, although she didn’t understand anything from what she heard. Kiyone and Sasami could face-palm in disgust. Ayeka bowed, thinking at least one person enjoyed it.

“Thank you very much.” She replied.

“Well, let me just finish cooking everyone’s breakfast.” Said Sasami.

Mihoshi placed an index finger in her mouth with curiosity. “By the way, where is Ryoko? I haven’t seen her all day.”

Ayeka turned her head in disgust, replying, “Hmph! Maybe she is outside in the open getting herself drunk in sake again, as usual.”

“Actually, you’re pretty close. I just met Ryoko at the hallway sneaking into the women’s hot springs with a new bottle of sake she just bought. She even invited me to bathe and drink with her but I kindly passed her offer.” Kiyone explained with a nervous smile.

“Grr, does that wench have no shame? I completely do not understand that space pirate. Why can’t she be more lady-like for once?”

**********************

Just like Kiyone explained, wanted space pirate and sake drunkard connoisseur, Ryoko, was spending her morning drinking sake while having a relaxing bath at the women’s hot spring, that was made in a sub-dimensional space within the house’s bathroom which only women were able to enter. Ryoko, completely naked and having no shame in showing off her young body, relaxes as her floating tray passes her by. She takes the bottle of sake from the tray and fills a cup of it. She lifts it too her mouth and quickly drank it in one sip. Her face turns red for a little, feeling effects of the sake and exhales a mushroom shaped cloud with satisfaction.

“Ahh, that feels good. Nothing like a relaxing hot spring bath while drinking sake helps you to remove all that stress.” Said Ryoko to herself, completely relaxed. “I know it's too early for that but who’s complaining?” Ryoko paused for a moment and stares at the ceiling of the bath house. She suddenly grins widely. “You know, it would be even better if Tenchi somehow manages to get into this hot spring. Oh, the nasty, dirty things I’ll do to him if he ever showed up.”

Then Ryoko grin disappears and suddenly looks down towards the water seeing her reflection.

“Tch, who am I kidding? My chances with Tenchi are slim to none as long as all these girls are around… especially that uptight princess, Ayeka.” She added. Ryoko took another quick sip of sake and sighed. She paused again and remembers the all great moments she shared with everyone: teasing everyone by claiming Ryo-Ohki is their daughter; the fun times at her first Summer Festival; their venture to Jurai; and her time in Earth’s past to save Tenchi’s mother, Achika, while enjoying a temporary high school life. “Still, without all of them, life would’ve been so boring. Hate to say it but I guess I’m grateful having them around sometimes…” with a disgusted face, she added, “Ugh, all this mushy stuff is almost making me hurl. I need another drink.”

As soon Ryoko was about to take another sip of sake, she stopped as she felt the entire bath house shaking. She quickly looks around in panic wondering what’s going on.

“What the Hell!?”

**********************

Back in the kitchen, Sasami finally finished making breakfast for everyone. She prepared a course of omelets, steamed rice, and cooked fish. Mihoshi giggled with glee by the table as she was ready to eat. Ayeka placed her close fist in front of her mouth and coughed a few times, gesturing Mihoshi to stop before eating. Just like the oblivious girl she is, Mihoshi did not notice and started to ready her chopsticks, but Ayeka coughed again but a little more loudly.

Mihoshi finally paused. “Are you getting a cold, Ayeka? You should really check that.”

Sasami couldn’t help but chuckle from Mihoshi’s words, as well as Ryo-Ohki tilting her head with curiosity on what’s going on.

Ayeka’s vein popped from the side of her forehead being annoyed from Mihoshi’s obliviousness. “Miss Mihoshi, I was only signaling to cease what you’re doing. It's impolite to begin eating when Lord Tenchi and Brother Yosho have not arrived!”

“Oh… Okay… But what about Ryoko? Aren’t we supposed to wait for her too?” the blonde cop asked.

“No need. For all I care, she should lock herself at the hot spring and dry up there like the mummy that she is.” The elder princess lifted the end of one of her sleeves to her mouth in disgust. “I wouldn’t want her here with her horrible bad breath from all that sake drinking.”

“Big sister! That’s not nice.” Sasami exclaimed.

“Well, it’s the truth.”

The sound of the door opening was heard knowing that Tenchi and his grandfather arrived.

“We’re home!” called Tenchi.

“Big Brother Tenchi! Big Brother Yosho! You’re finally here. And just in time too. I just finished making breakfast and its already set on the table.” Answered Sasami.

Katsuhito walked to Sasami, smiled at her and pats her head. “Thank you for your hard work, Sasami. Although we do apologize for making you all wait for us.”

Sasami happily shakes her head in disagreement. “Nuh-uh, you guys don’t have to be sorry. We know how important it is for you to train Big Brother Tenchi.”

Tenchi smiles to Sasami with satisfaction with his eyes closed. “But again, we do appreciate for everything you do in the house.” He said.

Ayeka looks nervously at Tenchi as she fiddles with her written haiku. “Ah, Lord Tenchi…”

Tenchi replied, “Yes, Ayeka?” Ayeka mumbles as she tries to get her words out. “Uh, could you repeat that?”

Ayeka finally said, “I was trying to say that I finished a new haiku for you and was wondering if you like to hear it.”

Suddenly, Tenchi’s stomach growled. Both Ayeka and Tenchi looked embarrassed.

Smiling nervously, Tenchi said, “Sorry about that, eh heh-heh.”

“No, it’s okay. I should apologize for not knowing how hungry you are. I’ll read it to you once you’re done eating.” Ayeka replied, while thinking, Ayeka, you’re such an incompetent fool.

Well, that went well…, snickered Kiyone in thought.

Tenchi and Katsuhito finally joined in by the table. Tenchi looked as eager as Mihoshi as they finally get to eat. “I’m so starving. Finally, we get to eat. Itadakimasu!”

But without warning, a naked but completely wet Ryoko appeared above the kitchen table and fell on top of it causing everyone to jump in shock while messing up their meal.

The naked space pirate rubbed her, saying,” Ow! That was a rough landing. What the Hell just happened?”

She looks around and notices everyone else staring blankly at her with surprise. Katsuhito had his hand in the way in front of Tenchi’s eyes as Mihoshi went teary eyed over her destroyed breakfast.

“My breakfast…” said Mihoshi, sadly.

“Breakfast?” blinked Ryoko. “How did all of you end up in the hot spring?... Wait a minute.” She looks under herself and noticed she was sitting over everyone’s messed up breakfast. “Eww, gross. Guess you guys aren’t going to finish that huh?” she added sarcastically. She turn her eyes to Tenchi then she performed a sexual pose. “But you, Tenchi, can have your breakfast all over me.”

Ayeka regained consciousness and quickly slammed her hands on the table in anger. “How dare you say such shameful things to Lord Tenchi!? And please explain yourself how you appeared completely stark naked out of thin air in front of us!”

“How the Hell should I know? I was just relaxing at the hot spring until it started shaking like there was an earthquake then poof, here I am. You think I hold all the answers on everything that goes on here.” Ryoko explained.

“Why you obnoxious brute!”

With those words, Ayeka started stretching Ryoko’s mouth widely with her hands as Ryoko retaliated back doing same. Everyone was looking nervous and disgusted from what is happening as soon a loud voice with a megaphone tone is being heard throughout the house:

“Everyone, will you please come over to my laboratory. I have something I like to announce.”

“…Washu” said everybody in unison, knowing who the voice belonged to.

Time has passed and everyone managed to make it for the announcement from the self-proclaimed greatest scientist in the Universe, Washu Hakubi (but she prefers to be called “Little Washu” or “Washu-chan”). Katsuhito did not make it since he decided to stay over at the kitchen to clean up the mess Ryoko made from her sudden fall. As for Ryoko, she managed to take a quick bath at the hot spring and returned wearing her indoor clothes, which was a full body indoor dress with blue and yellow stripes that comes with its own tail. She really didn’t want to strangle Washu for what she did while being naked with mashed omelet between her thighs.

Washu made her appearance in front of everyone with an eager smile on her face and her eyes closed. “Thank you all for arriving on my sudden announcement.” Everyone looked at Washu with annoyed expressions while some went for glaring instead. Washu sweat a bit looking oblivious from everyone’s expressions. “What’s with all negative vibes I’m getting? Did I miss something here?”

Ryoko’s patience was wearing thin while one of her eyebrows twitched . She couldn’t hold her angst anymore and was about to yell at Washu. But Ayeka intervened and was the first to complain instead. “It’s because you messed up today’s breakfast!”

Ryoko got annoyed from Ayeka’s intervention. Washu could not understand of what today’s breakfast got anything to do with her.

“Oh? How so?” asked Washu as she crossed her arms.

“It’s because Ryoko was at the hot spring, drowning herself in sake as usual, until suddenly she was transported to the kitchen, ruined the food Sasami worked so hard on cooking by falling over it, and shamed herself by showing her completely naked body to Lord Tenchi!”

Washu blinked a few times then looked at Ryoko. Ryoko glares back with her arms crossed while tapping with her index finger. Washu smiled then suddenly burst into laughter. “Bwa ha ha ha! Seriously? Well, that’s one way to make scrambled eggs!”

Everyone was not amused with Washu’s own taste of humor, not one bit. In fact, they’re more like disgusted.

Scratching the back of her head, Washu replied, “Sorry about that. I was calibrating the dimensions in the house again. Didn’t mean to cause another flux.”

Ryoko stormed towards Washu that she had enough of restraining her anger. “Is that all you have to say? Maybe you should start thinking more seriously and could’ve at least informed all of us you were about to do these kinds of things beforehand.”

“Well, maybe you should stop drinking sake so early during the day.” Washu suddenly waves her hand in front of Ryoko with disgust. “Ugh, I can even smell your foul alcohol breath from here. Maybe your love for drinking prevented you from brushing your teeth too?”

Finally, everyone else laugh from Washu’s response. Ryoko’s vein from her head popped from anger and embarrassment. “That’s it! You’re gonna get it now!” Ryoko was about to tackle Washu, but Kiyone and Mihoshi quickly restrained before she did. Ryoko tried to resist. “C’mon! Let me whack at her once! She deserves it!”

“Guess that’s settled. Let’s head back to the kitchen.” Tenchi sighed.

Everyone else agreed and started to leave. Washu suddenly thrust her arm gesturing the group not to leave. “Wait! I haven’t even gotten to my announcement yet.”

They all stopped and decided to give their attention to Washu although they would regret what they will about to hear. They mostly like guess it will be another new invention.

Washu cough a bit before starting. “First of, as the greatest scientist in the Universe, I have created such imaginative and original inventions that would benefit everyone. But I must admit I had drawbacks and failures.”

After hearing that, this gave Ryoko a chance to strike back at Washu. “Like Mecha Washu.” She snickered.

Everyone else agreed on that past invention. Originally, Washu built a robot version of herself so she can and her creation would able to do work twice as fast. Only thing left for it to be finished was to place Washu’s personality. But it failed and instead was installed with Mihoshi’s, all because the scanner took a single strand of Mihoshi’s hair instead of herself. The robot caused so much trouble for everyone, but it was taken down. Washu didn’t gave up and decided to make a Mark II that failed also as it ended up with Ryo-Ohki’s personality. Washu took it really hard and ends up being frustrated from Ryoko pointing that out.

“Okay, I admit it was something I’m not too proud of.” Washu continued. “But Mecha Washu would have gone so well if it wasn’t for Mihoshi interfering my could-be prized work.”

Mihoshi scratches the back of her head and smiles nervously. Kiyone never forgotten that day and thought it would have been Hell on Earth for her if there were two Mihoshis in her lifetime.

“I can speak for all of us that we’re definitely satisfied with one Mihoshi and Washu in our lives.” Said Kiyone.

Washu places her hands on her hips and smiles with confidence as she shows her ego from hearing Kiyone’s statement. “True. Besides, there can only be ONE greatest scientist in the Universe and that’s me.”

“So what is this big announcement you speak, Wa—“ started Tenchi.

But Washu quickly interrupted him. “Ah! That’s Little Washu.”

Sweat dropping, he corrected himself. “Sorry. I mean Little Washu.”

“I’m glad that you asked. Since I haven’t come up with any new masterpieces, I decided to re-work on a previous one. By now, you guys can probably guess what it was since I mentioned I was calibrating the dimensions in the house.”

Everyone thought for a moment but Tenchi was the first to realize what it was as he suddenly reacted. “Wait, you don’t mean…”

Washu chuckled and smiled with confidence with her eyes closed. “Indeed it is.” A spotlight was turned on and placed on the large machine a robotic eyeball and a large chamber connected to the machine. “Behold, my once great invention, the Dimensional Tuner. Been re-tweaking it as of late and will soon be called…”

“Dimensional Tuner Mark II? Heh-heh…” Ryoko said.

Washu got annoyed from Ryoko’s guess, crossing her arms into an X. “Wrong! I was going to name it differently for other reasons.”

“Why’s that?” asked Sasami.

Washu got close to the machine and placed her hand on it. “Since the machine was very delicate the last time it was used, it went out of control before I could even finish it thanks to certain people I’m now looking at.”

Sadly, Washu spoke the truth. The others felt embarrassed and ashamed for the trouble they caused that she was talking about. Knowing that this very machine has the capability in letting the user create their own reality in any way he/she wants, they were all eager to use it, especially Ryoko and Ayeka wanting their dream of having Tenchi to themselves to fulfill. Ayeka’s reality take place in a feudal Japan where she was arranged to be married to Tenchi but he ends up in a love triangle with her and Ryoko who was a demon bandit in her world. Ryoko’s reality had Tenchi as her partner in crime where they were known as infamous wanted bank robbers like Bonnie and Clyde. Kiyone wanted a world without Mihoshi while she wanted to be with Kiyone forever as they both end up in the same reality. More surprising was even Sasami taking part in using a machine and ends up making a reality where she is the cute magical girl known as Pretty Sammy. All of them caused the machine to haywire after they placed their input and might have destroyed all of time and space. Luckily, Washu fixed the problem by letting everyone take part of their realities as she tried to delete them one by one.

“With that in mind, I made sure that this machine will not, I REPEAT, will not malfunction. Hell, it can even be Mihoshi-proof. Ha ha ha ha ha!” the little mad scientist exclaimed.

Ryoko sighed as she shows no interest of how could this machine could be any different now. “So basically its Dimensional Tuner Mark II Pro.” Washu quickly went for Ryoko and hit her head. “Ow! What was that for?”

“For being an idiot.” Replied Washu. “I was getting to the part of why it’s so different now.” Washu placed her closed fist in front of her mouth and coughed a few times. “While I was rudely interrupted, I was going to inform the machine’s newest feature.” Washu points out to the chamber that was installed for her machine. “I have installed a transporting chamber . With it, we now be able to transport ourselves to other existing realities as well as transporting anything from the end of one different reality to ours.”

Everyone paused for the moment as they try to process each word from Washu’s last statement then they gawked into realization.

“ Wait, Little Washu. You just mentioned other EXISTING realities. What do you mean by that?” asked Tenchi.

Washu chuckled with her eyes closed responding to Tenchi’s bewilderment. “It’s very obvious for the greatest scientist in the Universe such as myself. I meant that our original reality isn’t the only actual reality that we have.” Washu summoned her hologram laptop. With one press of a button, she summoned a holographic screen which shows a chart supposedly represents all the many realities they are connected. “Over the past week, I was looking deep into my sub-dimensional research. But one night, I suddenly discovered that they are many worlds out there, not just of our own. Each one is only somewhat different but still the same as ours. The differences varies from the small choices we make showing different results, or each person having a different origin but still have their original personality or relationship with others intact. There could be a ‘me’ who is actually an Earthling from America, or a ‘Tenchi’ being a director for a Sentai show.”

Everyone was in awe from Washu’s discovery.

“Amazing… How did you managed to find out about this?” asked Ayeka.

“I found an old book about studies on quantum physics. Its seems the Earthlings here are really on to something. Actually, I’m interested to explore this certain reality. It looked very complex but it could be the prime one of our reality. Can’t seem to study it now since the machine isn’t finished which is now called… THE ALL-PURPOSE DIMENSIONAL TRANSPORTER!!!”

Everyone didn’t like the machine’s new name at all by showing their nervous and unamused expressions. Washu’s forehead sweats a bit from their reaction.

“I say ‘Dimensional Tuner Mark II Pro’ was better than that.” Said a dead-panned Ryoko.

“Okay, so I need to improve on giving its new name. Anyway, I’m going to try to finish the machine.” Ryoko and Ayeka look like they were about to say something, but Washu suddenly pointed at them. “And no, you’re not going to use the machine right now. And if I catch you two or anyone else for that matter use it without my supervision, there’s going to be Hell to pay.” Ryoko and Ayeka made disappointed sounds and they started to leave while the others' joined with them. Washu went for Tenchi and Kiyone. “Tenchi and Kiyone, would you two stay for now. I need to ask a favor from you.”