Chapters Finally, after...how long? Four years? I think that's about right. This is the town I used to live in. Except, it was empty. And run down. I vaguely remember this place when I was a fillie. It was lively, colourful even. Now, it's dull and lifeless. There was usually some event going on in the town square. I never saw that square once with nopony in it.
The breeze was light. Just like how I remembered. The clouds above me stretched for miles, and they were lightly dripping rain beneath them. It never dawned on me how much I missed this place, until now. All my years searching, and here it is. I can't even remember its name.
Home. That's what I called it.
With every corner I turned, and with every house to see, my memory started to piece itself together. The park me and Shadows would play in and the many houses, now abandoned by everypony. I...remember.
Then, I found the hospital. It was still in use, too. I wonder if my doctor still works there. Oh the times I went there. My operations, my appointments and check-ups, all seemingly pointless to me, when I was younger. I just assumed everypony had to go through wad I did. That's what my parents told me, anyway. I never acknowledged how they had wings, and I didn't. Dad didn't talk to me about it, and I really never cared until I was grown up. I guess they thought I would get upset if I knew the truth about myself. It really proves how much they cared about me.
If only I knew them long enough to return the favour.
My mind recalled a path I noticed, leading down to a cemetery, but why? Where was I going? When I enter the gravesite, recollection vanished. I was just standing in a cemetery, and I couldn't remember why.
Logically, I came to the assumption that I was looking for somepony. Who? I had no idea, but I looked. Thoughts came into my mind, until one took my attention. My mum was buried here. So was my brother.
I take a sharp breath. Memories took over the thoughts. I ran through the huge cemetery, following the vaguely distant past, which I call my own. My mind had yet again taken over my actions. Could this be the way to my mums grave? The fence to my left was getting closer to me. I stop, seeing a familiar-looking tree stump beside four headstones.
Well, I have got this far.
One of the headstones looks old, and it was starting to crumble at the sides. I look at the name inscribed.
"Melancholy Teardrops- Wife of Future Pixel and mother of Ascending Shadows and Ember Sparks"
My Celestia. The family was buried here. It didn't occur to me that there was four headstones, though. My dads grave was next, then my brothers, and finally...my grave. I trip on the stone path at the sight of my own resting place. Nopony even knows I'm alive. The tombstone said what you would expect, but there was a message at the bottom.
"Missing since the fire. Assumed dead"
The fire. Oh Celestia the fire. It's all coming back to me now. The jump, from the cliff, the forest, and...the girls. How could I have forgot about them? There names had vanished from my head, all but one.
"Applejack..." I muttered.
"Say what?!?" An old, wheezy voice shouted from behind me.
I jump out of my skin, not even knowing anypony was there.
"Ah! Wha...how long have you been there?!"
I turn around to see an old Unicorn, holding flowers. He looks lost.
"Sorry, young lady. I didn't mean to startle you. I'm just looking for my wife."
"Oh."
I take a second to look around us, nopony else being in sight. Why did I even do this? Of corse he was looking for a grave.
"Are you lost?" I ask.
"I'm afraid I am. I can never seem to remember this darned place!"
"I know that feeling..."
The Unicorn seems confused, but proceeds to find his deceased partner.
I stay by my family's stones for a while. This is the closest I will ever be to seeing them, so I wanted to make it last. I know I'm not talking to anypony, but I needed to, so I talk to the gravestones.
"I'm glad I wanted to come back...you guys meant the world to me...I would tell you about the adventure I had trying to get here...if only I could remember...why am I forgetting so much?..I didn't have the best memory anyway, but...this is getting really bad..."
I shed a tear.
"See you soon...good luck up there."
After luckily finding the exit from the cemetery, I wanted to find out was going on with my memory at the hospital, seeing as it was still in use. I made my way down the dusty path, and arrived at the surprisingly quiet hospital. There was a receptionist, even though there was nopony to check in. I suppose they need to be in service, just in case something happens.
"Excuse me? This hospital is still in use, right?"
"Barely. What is the problem?"
"I would like to see somepony about a memory problem."
"Take a seat down that hallway, and Dr. Skyline will be with you shortly." The receptionist finishes.
As I walk down the hallway, the potent smell of medicine becomes clear. Exactly how it used to everytime you walked down this hall. I remember that. I noticed the bone-chilling cold hadn't gone, either.
I gingerly sit on one of the chairs. I have never heard a hospital this quiet before, not even the occasional *beep* of a machine could be heard. It was probably a minute before Dr. 'Skyline' came to see me.
I just hope this memory problem isn't too serious, and can be treated.
Dr. Skyline walks with me through the many hallways of the hospital. We go past a section of the hospital im familiar with. It was practically burnt into my memory, the countless times I had to go there. I just hope I don't forget. Toys scattered the floor from a knocked over box. I was bound to have played with them when I was a kid, waiting for my procedures.
"Ironic, I know, but I remember this place. I have been here my fair share of times." I say, trying to brake the silence.
"Yeah? You used to live here?" Skyline replies.
"That's right. Why is this town so empty anyway?"
"I couldn't tell you. Everypony just sort of...left..."
"Strange." I finish.
He opens the door to a room with a chair that you lie down in.
"If it makes you more comfortable, you can lie back in the seat. All I will do is ask you a series of questions and give a verdict, ok?"
"Got it."
I continue to lie back into the chair.
"My name is Ember, by the way."
"Ok. So Ember, how long has this memory issue been troubling you?"
"Ever since I was born, but for the past 3 years it's seriously been affecting me, and I'm getting concerned."
"Is there any obvious indication that might be causing these problems that I should know?"
I stop to think. Has my mind always been broken? Or is it just now breaking?
"Well, when I was born, my wings, as well as where they join by body, weren't developed like I should have been. So I had to have operations and check-ups periodically. Hence why I mentioned I remembered this place before. Maybe those weren't my only problems."
"That could explain the memory loss. It's not normal for somepony of your age to be suffering from this."
"I know. Doctor, I'm worried. I don't want to forget my family. Because if I don't remember them, who will?"
I sit up in the chair.
"And I have met some truly amazing ponys! Like...what was her name?! I said It earlier! Oh Celestia! What was her name?!?"
Skyline pushes me back into the chair gently.
"Ember. Calm. Your just going to stress yourself."
I was panicking. My breathing was faster than before, I couldn't even remember something I said five minutes ago.
"Now, I know memory loss isn't the nicest of things, but try to stay calm if you can. It will make life easier for both of us." Skyline says.
"...I'll try..."
"Now, the name. Try your hardest to remember, but if you can't, just stop."
"Ok...we met...about 4 years ago. I should remember it right off, but I can't...she wore a hat...Apple...something..."
"Good! Baby steps, Ember. Can you remember anything else at all?"
"I...I...can't..."
I turn to face the wall on the other side of me, slightly curl up, and then broke down into tears. The doctor was silent. I was starting to lose all hope of remembering the past, even what the pony did for me was beyond my recollection.
"Celestia...ok, when you are feeling a bit better, we will try again. Stay here and get some rest if you need it." Finishes Skyline.
The doctor exits the room. I sat back up in the chair, still determined to recall who the pony was.
"...Apple...oh no...Apple..."
Still no luck. I slam my head back into the the chair, glimmering tears still rolling from my eyes. As being as I had already forgot the pony, I wasn't going to let my parents slip away from my mind.
"Melancholy Teardrops...Future Pixel...Ascending Shadows..." I repeated, until my voice became exhausted.
Only thoughts remained now. Dr. Skyline came in to check up on me.
"Are you feeling any better, Ember?"
No reply came from me. I just stares out of the window to my right. Watching Pegasus, gracefully moving the clouds to bring out the sun. The doctor takes the seat beside me again, and watches the Pegasus with me.
I remember something.
"There was a book...a diary I wrote in. I can't remember where it is, though. It just...vanished..."
"Can you remember anything you wrote in it? Anything that could bring forward a smidgen of memory?"
"It's colour...was it blue? Or purple? Purple Spark? No, that doesn't sound right! It MUST be blue!"
I could feel a memory trying to break into my thoughts.
"...somepony took me to a house...no, a barn...it was Apple...Apple something...and four...no...five others?" I struggled.
"Your doing brilliant, Ember!" The doctor exclaimed.
The stress was killing me.
"...yeah, five! What were there names? I...darn it...c'mon Sparks, think!"
The doctor just watched as I struggled to piece together the story.
"...no! I just had it! One of there names!"
" I think you should give it some more rest. Your going to give yourself a headache." Skyline suggests.
I give out a huge exhale, and fall back into the chair once again.
"...I can't do it...it's so hard..."
"You did good though! Progress, Ember."
I was exhausted...from trying to remember something. This really isn't good. And what if I did remember the ponys name? Would I forget something else? Or would it leave my memory once again?
The Pegasi were still shifting clouds from one place to another. Quite entertaining to watch, I thought. Suddenly, two of the countless Pegasi collided with one another, when trying to impress the others with tricks. They tumble toward the ground, when two more swoop in and try to catch them. This does work, slightly. They slow the two Pegasi down enough so the fall doesn't do considerable damage.
I bet they thanked their stars it happened outside a hospital.
The two Pegasus were taken into the hospital. I overheard that their injuries were rather minor, luckily. Only one of the two who saved the unfortunate ponys stayed with them. They are taken past the room im in, and I hear them bickering about what happened.
"No, you shouldn't have got in my way! I was doing awesome, until you show up!"
"You shouldn't be performing while on the job! That's how accidents happen"
"I was only gonna do one!"
The pony who caught them then spoke.
"Would the both of you just shut up?! I mean, really?! Your giving everypony a headache!"
That voice. There was something about it.
Dr. Skyline had proceeded to the door at this point, to check what was going on. He stood in the doorway, and watched as the three Pegasi walked the door. When I caught a glimpse of the third pony, something clicked. I know her! But from where? That mane. I just couldn't put my hoof on why I recognised her.
"Doc," she asks. "could you check this rash under my wing? It's so irritating!"
"Hmmm...it's just your wing rubbing against your side. Some cream may suffice. Wait here, I'll go get some."
Skyline exits. The Pegasi looks at me.
"Oops, was I interrupt..." The pony just stares at me, expressionless.
"No, you weren't. It's fine."
"Sp-Sparks?!?"
She runs over to me, exited.
"Oh my gosh! I finally found you! The girls were so shocked when you left us, we couldn't believe it! We searched for you for a few days, but you were just gone!"
"I'm sorry, but who are you? And how do you know my name?"
"...huh? D-don't you...remember me?"
"No, I don't?"
The ponys voice started to shake.
"But...but I'm RainbowDash, remember...I found you...in that forest?"
Even with her name, I couldn't recall ever seeing her.
"How...how could you...forget...? I saved your life!"
"I'm sorry, but-"
She began to get teary eyed.
"You...you read that...poem to me...and the girls...at...at the library? I cried with you!? You don't remember any of this?!"
She runs out of the room.
"Rainbow! Wait!" I shout.
She doesn't listen. Skyline had witnessed the whole thing, standing in front of the doorway, mouth agape.
I didn't even know who the mare was, and I was crying. I must have forgot her, completely. She saved me? When? I read a poem at the library? What poem? What library?! Why does my memory have to be this bad?
Is there any point in trying anymore?
I can't believe all this is happening to me
That mare...I knew her from somewhere...but where? Why didn't I say anything?
My memory. Now it's short term.
I could hear her crying from the hallway. I must mean alot to her...or she must mean alot to me. That book. That blue diary I recalled, maybe I wrote about Rainbow in that! Could she be one of the ponys I can't remember?
"Skyline, could you ask...Rainbow to come in? I...need to ask something."
"I will get her now."
RainbowDash walks in, wiping the tears from her eyes and face.
"You used to know me?" I ask
"Y-yeah?"
"Who are the girls you talked about?"
There was a pause.
"...There's me...Twilight...Applejack...Pinkie Pie...Rarity...Fluttershy...and Spike...the dragon..."
Applejack! That was her name! It seems so obvious!
"Applejack! I remember her! She...she took me into that barn...and..."
My memory yet again refusing to return.
"I...I could tell you...about them, if you want?" Rainbow offers.
"Please..." I beg.
"Well...I was the pony who found you in The Everfree Forest, Applejack took care of you, and Twilight...she let you stay at her library..."
It was slowly coming back to me.
"Pinkie Pie was really hyper...and she was always happy...besides when the accidents happened..."
Accidents? Oh Celestia, I didn't hurt anypony, did I?
"Rarity...she loves dresses, and makes some of the best in all of Equestria..."
I start to cry. All of my past friends were no longer in my memory. I feel so guilty about that.
Rainbow continues, desperate to find my memory.
"...Fluttershy...she is the kindest Pegasi you could ever meet...she loves animals...and Spike...the young dragon...he's loyal to Twilight, and...and remember his 'problem'?"
My voice broke.
"...N-no..."
Yet again, I lose my cool, and start to panic, fearing the worst. Rainbow is lost for words.
"May I suggest something?" Skyline says.
We look at him.
"Your diary. You have to find it. It could be the only way to restore your memory."
"But where could it be?"
Everypony went silent. I theorise another way of recalling the past. I'm going back to my old house. I tell this to Rainbow and Skyline, and Rainbow wants to go with me.
We exit the hospital.
"I don't know how you could forget so much, Sparks. I know four years is a long time and all, but anypony could, and should remember something! Is something wrong with you? Not in that way...but..."
"I think...I'm not even sure. My memory is just...leaving me..."
My heart rate gets faster once again, and I began to shake. Sweat runs down the side of my face.
"Oh please, PLEASE help me remember you! I don't...I...please...I want to live a normal life! With...with friends...not with ghosts! I...I...please..."
Breathing becomes difficult. Rainbow puts her arm around me.
"Ember...I want you to remember me as much as you do! I'm not going to stop looking if you don't! And even then!"
Her words were enough to calm me. I still shuddered in my horseshoes, though.
"So we are looking for an old house? There's loads!" Rainbow remarks.
"I know, but this one has been burnt partially. And I will...remember...oh no. Not the house. I...can't remember..."
We searched for the house, taking us all over the town. Rainbow seemed disturbed over what was left of the place I grew up in.
I started to question if the house even exists anymore. Had what was left it been taken down? Oh, I hope not.
Eventually, Rainbow points over to the charred remains of a burnt down house.
"Is it that one?"
"Lets see."
We proceed into the house. A dark, hazy smog was present, even after all the years. The smell of burned wood filled the air, not that there was much of it.
"My Celestia..." Rainbow quietly says.
Everything was how you would expect, and nothing looked tampered with, besides a perfectly preserved open book and bag, and a photograph with soot partly covering the image. It looked like somepony had wiped some of the soot off it. Had somepony been here before? While Dash went about seeing the damage, I pick up the photograph. It had little drops of water on it's glass cover, like rain had landed on it. I check the ceiling. Was there a leak? Preposterous. If that was the case, the whole roof would most likely have collapsed by now. It HAS been four years. Some of my common sense was leaving me, as well as my memory.
My attention returned the photo. It was...a family portrait. My family portrait. We were in the right place. I was home. The picture shows my parents, standing proud and happy, with my young at the time brother, and me, as a baby. I'm keeping this. But I can't explain why it's wet.
I forget about the bag, which I almost trip over. I proceed to check it's contents. There was two clear pills in a woven pouch, a three-quarter empty bottle of water and a belt.
It just struck me, just like that. It was me. I had been here. This is my stuff, how could I have not realised? I don't remember. That explains the droplets of water on the photo, though. I had cried over it. My mind is breaking faster than I think.
Then, the book was under my inspection. It was my diary. The page it was on said things about a talent show, and I was there. I turn the page, to see a poem. I'm sure RainbowDash mentioned something about a poem. Was this what she was talking about?
"Dash?"
"What is it? Did you find something?"
"I think..."
I start to read the poem. As the lines pass through my feeble recollection, I start to recall my younger days. Shadows, my brother, walking with me to the park. He would let me get on his back, and we would carefully fly through the town. Shadows, in my young eyes, was the best flier in the world. It was so fun! I had amazing times with him. When I had bad days at school, he would always cheer me up with jokes, by telling me stories, or any other way he could. I looked up to him as more than just a 'big brother'. His dream was to be a royal guard when he grows up. And his dream came true. So this meant he had to leave us, which upset me, but he swore that when he is gone, he is protecting one Princess, and as soon as he gets back, he would protect another...me.
His funeral. I just remembered that, too. The whole town attended it. And so did the two Princesses he swore to protect. My mum and dad were completely devastated that day, and never were the same. The Princess saw our dismay, so she talked to us. I can't recall what. And then she said something personally to me, which is also lost in time. I hope these memories don't leave me.
The last verse of the poem was uttered. I sat down on the dusty floor with a *poof* of black soot. Rainbow was in pieces at my poem. Was this what her first reaction was like? Or was it now more saddening with my deteriorating memory?
"...that was...beautiful..." Says Rainbow dash.
After putting anything else of value in the bag, we made our way out of the broken house. Just by the door, I tread on another photograph, shattering it. I remove it's broken case, so just the image was left. It was a photo of me, at the hospital. I was lying in a bed, sleeping. Probably after one of my numerous operations. My brother could be seen on the other side of the bed, crying over what he probably thought was his dead sister.
More memories try to fill in the gaps of my mind, too many at once. I couldn't handle it.
My head becomes heavy. Vision is blurred, and so is sound. Rainbow was just an array of bright colours, twisting and distorting in front of me. I lose strength, stumble forward, and knock her over. As I hit the ground, all goes black.
Chapter Four- Getting Worse
I woke up, alone in the empty hospital. I couldn't move, something was stopping me. I was stopping me. My head was in so much pain, I couldn't think straight. I wanted to weep it was that painful. What is wrong with me?
Nopony was to be seen. No doctors or nurses, no patients, nothing. Just me. I couldn't recall what happened before we got into my old house. The names of the girls had gone again, too.
"Melancholy Teardrops...Future Pixel...Ascending Shadows..." I repeat again, desperate not to forget.
Oh Celestia it hurts.
After saying this, probably a couple hundred times, I break. I can't face the fact I may never remember anything again. Maybe I will forget that I ever had them as friends...forget that ever had a family...even forget who I am. The sky was clear, and sun beamed through the window onto my chest. There was no beeping sound I expect to hear...my mind just wanders without me even realising.
Hoofsteps, coming from the hallway, outside the door.
It was Skyline.
"You should be grateful that Rainbow brought you here! What happened?"
"I...I can't remember..."
The doctors alert expression turned into a 'lost cause' kind of one.
"Where...where is she?" I ask.
"Rainbow said she wanted to get the 'others', because she couldn't handle this by herself, but she could be gone for a few days. Ponyville is quite far away from here. Did you find the house? Or the book?"
"I...think so...check my...bag."
Skyline looks in my bag and pulls out a book.
"'The Blue Spark Diary'..." He says.
"That's it...could...could you...read it out?"
"Read it out? You want me to..."
"...I can't...move my legs...otherwise I would read it...myself."
"...sure. I'll read it."
I felt like a kid again, getting my dad to read me a bedtime story. I think after a while even the doctor was interested. He questioned the fact that it is actually a diary at some points, rather than just a story.
As each page was read, I recalled certain moments, and names, only for them to just disintegrate from my mind thereafter. The pain in my head had subsided to a throbbing feeling of blood coursing gently through my veins. I could move again, too.
The doctor didn't read it all. But he had read enough.
"Wow...they did do alot for you...I can see why you wouldn't want to forget them..."
I didn't pay much attention to what the doctor was saying, I was just trying to remember what those two pills in the bag were for. It has to be important, and there isn't many leftover.
I can just about remember that I shown them to some doctor in another hospital, and he made some more for me, so that I wouldn't run out. But somepony gave them to me before that...that, I can't remember at all. Were the pills keeping me alive? Did I have a condition?
It occurred to me that the doctor could probably make some more of these pills, but do I want him to? If they are keeping me alive, why don't I just finish taking them? I feel horrible, and I can't remember why, my old 'friends' are just people to me now and most of all, I miss my family. The day I forget who they were will be the day I wont care about anything anymore.
"Ember?"
"...yes?"
"You have been staring into space for five minutes now."
My perception of time seems to be broken, too.
Skyline looks into my bag again. At the sight of the remaining pills, he takes a concerning breath.
"I don't suppose you remember what these pills are for?"
"...no..."
"Great..."
The doctor takes out a book from a cabinet beside him. He mutters the words as he reads them.
"...no...blue pills...not them....red...not them either...aha! 'clear pills or clear medicines are usually associated with sleep troubles, particularly periodic nightmares'."
Well, not so much keeping me alive.
"I...have nightmares?"
"It looks that way. Don't worry though, I will remind you to take them. I'm a doctor, after all."
I take the book from Skyline.
"I think I'm going to read the rest of it. Kill some hours."
"Very well." Skyline finishes.
I immerse myself with the book, once again. Taking in as much detail as I can. Night falls quicker than I expected, or even realise.
"Time for you to get some rest, Ember. Don't forget the pill." Skyline says from the hallway.
"Thanks doctor."
Chapter Five- Why I Take the Pills
Chapter Five- Why I Take The Pills
I get a tablet from the pouch, but it drops out onto the floor. In the dark of night, the tablets don't stand out as well as they should. Searching, I catch a glimpse of the night sky through the hospital window. Now intruged, I disregard the lost pill, and stare at the twinkling void above. I think of how mesmerizing it is. Imagine the number of stars and planets I'm probably looking at. Who would have thought that night was so beautiful? And the moon was full. It was the bright, clear ying, to the nights gloomy, dark yang. You could see the craters on its surface it was that clear. And to think everypony just sleeps through such an amazing spectacle.
I could stay there for hours, but I knew better than that. Unfortunately, I completely forgot about the pill, still somewhere underneath my hospital bed. I get comfy, rest my head against the soft pillow, and drift into...a nightmare.
My memory loss is now becoming dangerous.
The nightmare began with a blinding flash of intense white light. I was completely exhausted, but I couldn't feel any part of my body. I had no idea if I was in a room, or what. A sort of ambient humming could be heard. As I gain realisation of where I am, a mare comes into perspective. Her eyes were glowing with whatever emotion she felt, so at that point, they would have been white.
"Who are you?" I cautiously ask.
"I? I am you, Sparks. Remember? We last met four years ago. How could you forget?" The mysterious mare says in a strangely robotic voice.
"That makes no sense! How can I have met myself four years ago?!"
"Oh, believe me, it make much sense. You just don't understand..."
The mare slams a hoof to the ground, which gives me the ability to feel. I look up, to see my front legs have been pulled above my head with chains. My hind legs weren't touching the ground, so I was suspended from what I assumed was a ceiling. The 'room' was a very dark, murky red.
My nerves get the best of me.
"Oh no...no-no this can't be happening...please, this can't be real..."
"I assure you, this is very real." The voice spoke, eyes turning from white to pink.
"Aww, you look cute like that. All helpless."
"Get me down! Please!"
"Hmmm, no."
The mare cuts a hole out of the ground beneath me and attaches chains to my hind legs somehow. They didn't have anything on the ends of them, so this didn't seem necessary.
"P-please...I beg you...I will do anything...this is hurting me!"
Her eyes became white once more.
"Do anything? By that logic, you will give me anything, yes?"
I began to cry, the skin of my arms started to stretch, and a burning sensation became apparent there.
"...yes...please...just get me down..."
The strange eyes became a minty green.
"Splendid! But remember, I can only get certain things with your permission."
There was a pause.
"I want your memories. All of them."
"...my...memories? Wh-why?"
A voice could be heard from outside of...wherever I was.
"Ember! Don't worry! I will get in there!"
I took the chance to try and get an escape.
"Help! Oh please! Whoever you are! I'm in here!"
"QUIET!" The mare shouts as she slams her hoof on the ground again, eyes glowing red.
I could no longer make a sound.
"Your going to pay for that, Ember! I treated you so well, too! Ungrateful mare."
Cement bricks are put on the ends of the chains attached to my legs, pulling them down. The vocal strings of my throat were rattling, but no sound is produced. It was agony. I was being pulled apart.
The eyes changed to yellow.
"Oh, I'm Ember! I'm such an unlucky mare, please come save me! I don't deserve to lose my memory! I'm such a coward!"
I struggled, trying to shake the chains off my legs somehow.
"I'm going to try again. And this time, no screaming, ok?"
I nod.
She bangs her hoof on the floor, giving me my voice back.
I didn't say anything when I could, I just whimpered with the pain.
"Right, so, I want the memory of...aww, there's so many to choose from!...uhh...that one! Your best friend! Can I have it?"
"...just...have it!"
She proceeds to scan through my mind, and pull out the memory.
"And while I'm at it, I will have the rest of your friends, too!"
They get taken away. I start to cry quite loud at this point, so the mare increases the weight of the bricks.
"Your getting too loud, Ember!"
She delves back into my mind.
"And why not?!? I will have all those memories, too! I'm sure you don't need them, so I will just take them!"
I can feel my mind getting emptier by the second.
"Your favorite things, now my favorite things! Your hero, now my hero! And your school life, now all mine!"
My left hind leg gives in, and gets pulled out of it's socket.
"AAAGHHH!" I scream.
"Aww, don't be so sad! I will put it back in!"
"D-don't touch it! No!"
The mare slots my leg back into place, but it just falls back out again, causing me immense pain.
"Huh. Well nevermind, you will live. What memory should I take now...?"
The skin around my joints had tore open, and were bleeding, profusely.
"Hmmm, I will have to ask permission for this one! Can I have your parents?"
"...no...I can't forget...them..."
The mare further increases the weight of the bricks, taking my other leg out of its place. My voice breaks when I scream.
"Pretty please?"
I didn't answer, I just cried, so stops my breathing.
"Look, just answer me. And answer yes. That's all you have to do."
She didn't stop strangling me. She must have assumed I could still answer her request, even as I was. The blood from my arms had made its way down my body, and was dripping from my hooves.
"Answer me!"
After seeing why I couldn't answer, she lets go. I have never been so scared in my life.
"I'm feeling nice. So I'm going to let you see your parents. Then can I have the memories?!" The mare asks.
"...ok..." I reply, my voice broken, and quivering.
"Yes! Here they are!"
Sure enough, my mum and dad appear in front of me. They are expressionless, but they were there.
"...mummy...dad-dy...don't leave...please don't leave...im...so...scared..."
"See? Just like I promised! Now, the best part..."
"...no...oh Celestia no..."
As the moments pass, my recollection of them is taken.
The ponys who were once my mum and dad are now just strangers.
"There's just one more thing...I want YOUR memories, Ember."
"...take them..."
"Oh. Ok then, this may tickle a bit."
No more memories. I'm just a shell now. The voice outside is crying, pleading for someone to 'stop'.
"...can...I...come...down...?" I ask.
"Y'know, I never actually said you could come down, Ember. And even if I did, would I let you?"
My heart sinks.
"...but...I gave you-"
"The world isn't all you expect, Ember. Well, see you later then! I have got to get some sleep after that!"
The tears were just flowing. Once she warped through the wall, all went quiet. The ambience had gone. Only the *clink*s of the chains which held me, and the sobbing voice from outside was audible.
"..my...my name...what is it...who...who am...I..."
I just hung there, in so much pain. What had I done to deserve this? Am I punishing...myself? For forgetting?
The pony outside started to try anything she could to get in, smacking on the wall of wherever I was. It echoed throughout the room, and was so loud. My ears bled it was that loud. I tried so scream and say stop, but my voice was too quiet. Whoever was outside stopped eventually, and just shouted in frustration over me, making my ears ring. Could whoever it was see me?
It must have been such a long time. The pony outside had just stopped trying to get in. She gave up. The pain was more of a throbbing, numbing one now.
I was getting lonely. The least of my worries, I know, but I don't want to lose my mind. How hadn't I bled out earlier?
Time continued to pass. Did it? It never seemed to end. Oh Celestia, it never ended. The pony outside spoke.
"I'm sorry...I'm so, so sorry! I have tried everything, but I cant get in!"
"...who...are you?"
"...you don't recognise...my voice? It's me, Luna! I led you into Twilights dream!"
"...Twilight?...who is..."
I struggle for words.
"Oh Celestia, this is worse than I thought." Luna says.
"Listen, Ember, I promise I will get you out of there! Just...hold on!"
There was a long stint of knocks, and quiet bangs, but still, nothing.
"...is that...my name? Ember?"
Luna began to weep.
"...yes. Ember Sparks..."
Another pause.
"...it was a few years ago...I wanted to show you something...you woke up before I got the chance..."
I didn't reply.
"You don't remember, do you?"
"...no..."
Luna explains to me whats going on.
"...your having a nightmare Ember...but you can only realise that if you see me..."
I start to hear a low, grumbling noise.
"...this is your greatest fear, just shown in a darker way..."
The noise becomes a mumbling voice. Somepony speaking, currently incomprehensible.
"...you can't see me, so this is real to you, but don't be afraid...please don't be afraid..."
The low voice puts together a sentence.
"...this mare speaks lies...this is your true demise..."
"Don't listen to it, Ember!" Luna pleads.
"...lies upon lies, that is not your name...if only you, could think the same..."
"What do you want with her?!"
"...everything..."
The voice blocks out Luna, completely.
"...get that mare...out of your head...I am the one, to reassure your dread..."
I couldn't look up. Partly because I was exhausted, and partly because whatever monster this was, I didn't want to see it.
"...if I could grant you your memories as a whole...for something I could use...your soul..."
The voice becomes closer.
"...what would you choose?"
I didn't answer. The voices tone becomes angry.
"...an afterlife of memories...or a gray existence...an easy choice, I display..."
I could feel warm smoke wrapping around my arms, and body.
"...what will suffice?"
I was too terrified to answer.
The smoke condenses, and gently lifts up my head. In front of me is just a mass of black cloud. This thing is going to kill me if I don't answer. In my exhausted state, I do eventually speak up.
"I...don't...know...Luna...where are you...?"
The smoke gets a more strong, firm grip on my head. I was immobile.
"...if you will not answer...I will..."
The fumes go into my body through my nose and mouth, which I couldn't close.
"...now stay still..."
My insides were burning, it was probably being turned into ashes. This thing was ending my torture. The light that was used to get my attention at the start was now just a gray patch of smoke. The already dark room was fading away, my thoughts were little, and my head was light.
I had the sensation that I was falling, and it lasted so long. The numb pain had vanished, thankfully I suppose. I close my eyes for a few seconds. When they opened again, I was back in the hospital, still lying on my bed. No smoke and no evil...things.
My entire body twitched at the sight of my new surroundings. I was so frightened, frantically checking my legs for out-of-place joints, blood and chains.
No such things existed.
I was twitching uncontrollably, still mortified from the whole experience. I scream. It was over, but I had the joy of remembering it. My shrieks of terror echoed through the empty hospital.
Chapter Six- The End of Recollection
Chapter Six- The End Of Recollection
I was out of breath from the nightmare, and the screaming hadn't helped either, but then I thought of something. Why was I in hospital? There is no logical reason for me to be here, other than my eventful awakening. It was beginning to get light outside, and I could do with some air to clear my head. Before I climbed out of the bed, I notice how the fur between my hind legs had stuck to the bed slightly, and was soaked. Had I...wet myself?
Nopony was in the hospital, so I suppose there's that to thank. As I clean myself up, the sound of a door opening can be heard echoing through the hallway. Still in shock from the night, I went into panic mode. I huddled into the nearest corner of the room, covered my eyes, and hoped for the best.
The sound of the door had been replaced by hoofsteps. I couldn't bear to see what might have been coming from the hallway. As the hoofsteps get louder, i start to shake, and pray for my life.
The steps became more quiet, now like walking pace. They get to probably about the doorway, when they stop.
"Ember? What in Equestria are you doing?"
"Gah! Leave me alone!"
The steps got close to me.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Ember."
The pony put a hoof on my head. I give out a terrified squeal.
"It's me. Skyline."
"I don't care, go away! Whoever you are!"
I hear him shuffle back, and sit down.
"But I'm your doctor. Dr. Skyline?"
I don't respond, still quivering in the corner.
"You don't remember me...oh my. I promise I will not hurt you. I can help you."
I slowly, but surely lift my head up, to see 'Skyline', sitting in front of me.
"Just stay here a second. I just have to talk to someponys, then I will be right back, ok?"
"...ok..."
The doctor trots over to the door. He starts to talk before he closes it.
"Your friend Ember is shaken about something, so when I say for you to come in, don't run in, all exited to see her. It will startle her-"
The door closes.
I have friends? Since when?
I still sat in the corner, shaking, and was frantically looking around.
A few minutes pass, and the doctor comes back in with one of my 'friends', whom was silent. Skyline speaks to me in the softest voice he can.
"Ember, you have been sleeping here now for two days. But I can't wrap my head around why you are acting this way. Would you care to tell me?"
"I...I...had a nightmare..."
"You didn't take the pill? But I reminded you!"
"Wh-what pill?!"
"...I don't know how much longer your mind is going to keep even remotely stable! I really want to help you, Ember, but I'm beginning to think I can't do much more."
The mare began to weep, and Skyline puts his head in his hooves.
I didn't know what to say, so like a child to her parents, I told them about the nightmare.
"I...I saw somepony...she had colourful eyes...and wanted my memories...she said she had to have permission for them...my...permission...do you know how hard that is?! To give away...everything you know?! If I cried loud, she hurt me! If I said no, she hurt me! Oh Celestia it hurt!"
Skyline was speechless over the terror I went through. As all his supposed efforts to save my mind, pointless.
I could hear crying coming from outside.
"...then...somepony spoke to me...I can't remember her name...she wanted to save me...but...she couldn't...then something else started to speak...it asked if...if I wanted my memories back, in an afterlife...or to carry on..."
The mare Skyline walked in with finally spoke up.
"You...you remember me, right Sparks?"
I shook my head.
"RainbowDash...do you remember that? Do you remember my name?"
"...no...I don't..."
Rainbows lips began to shudder.
"Rainbow here came back today, and she brought your old friends. From your diary?"
No memories were apparent. I had no idea who they could have been.
"Bring the others in. There going to want to see her." Skyline tells Rainbow.
She slowly walks over to the door, looking toward the ground.
The door opens.
"Oh my gosh, Rainbow! Are you ok?" A voice said from the corridor.
RainbowDash shakes her head in denial, still facing the ground.
"Come in." Rainbow says.
One by one, they walk in, fearing what is left of me.
What I thought was all of them stood by the door, looking over to me and Skyline, until Rainbow says
"Fluttershy? Are you coming?"
Another mare walks in who had already been crying over me. I must mean alot to her.
As it stands, there was two Earth ponys, two Pegasi, one Alicorn and one dragon. The guilt of not being able to remember them was unbearable. They mean nothing to me, but I mean something to them.
The two Earth ponys made there way over to me and Skyline.
"Hey, Sparks...its been a while, huh?" One of them say.
I couldn't look at her. I just stared at one of the legs holding my bed.
"...Rainbow got us all exited when she said she had found you..."
The doctor stands up, and walks away from me to comfort the group.
"...you...you don't remember me...do you?"
I didn't answer. I just broke into tears.
"...does the name Applejack ring any bells? I took care of you when Rainbow..."
She stops, probably at hearing the squeaks and cries of Fluttershy behind her.
The second mare speaks up, on the verge of a breakdown.
"...what about...Pinkie...Pinkie Pie?"
I look further away.
Pinkie Pie bursts into an extremely loud crying fit, grasping onto Applejack and bawling unintelligible questions. Applejack takes her out of the room, to comfort her.
Now the guilt comes from the two Pegasi: Fluttershy and RainbowDash.
Whilst walking to me, Fluttershy was hesitant, stopping by the corner of a bed.
"It's ok Fluttershy, I'm here...it's going to be fine." Rainbow consoled.
Fluttershy continues her dreaded path, stopping next to Rainbow.
"Sparks...this is Flutter...Flutter-oh gosh I can't take it!" Rainbow says, falling to the ground.
She sobs with her hooves over her head. Do I really mean this much to them?
The Unicorn walks up to me.
"Um, well...you don't remember us, but, I don't suppose the name Rarity reminds you of anypony?"
I shake my head.
Her expression becomes saddened, the fact that I was losing my mind had dawned on her.
"Why do I mean so much to you girls?" I ask.
"...you don't remember...you...saved Spikey...from..."
Rarity sheds a tear, and her voice gets higher.
"...he was going to jump off a cliff, and you proved to him he means something...before most of us even knew he had a problem..."
It's like I could feel the guilt on my shoulders. I have forgot so much. Too much.
Rarity picks up Rainbow and takes her aside.
Fluttershy didn't say anything. She just stood there, crying over what is left of me.
The dragon walks past her, and stands right in front of me. He was about to say something until Rainbow speaks.
"It's no use! She won't remember what you tell her!"
"Rainbow!" Shouts the Alicorn.
"...you don't remember anything about your stay in Ponyville? You don't look very old."
The little guy doesn't understand. Good, he wouldn't want to.
"...I'm Spike, who Rarity was talking about...you saved me...Ember..."
I saved this dragon. It was me.
"...when I last saw you...I promised I would remember you...and you promised me back...it's not your fault you forgot, but I promise I will keep my promise...forever."
Spikes words tore me apart. I will never remember him. I will never remember the dragon I saved from himself. Fluttershys crying and squeaking had returned. Her quiet sobs are haunting. The Alicorn steps up.
"I didn't know at the time, but not too long ago, everypony told me about how you...saved Spike. I knew his problem was bad, but I didn't know he wanted to kill himself." The Alicorn says, voice breaking a bit toward the end.
She sits down where spike was, and hugs me.
"Thank you so much..."
We look into eachothers teary eyes.
"...please remember how grateful I am...we are...to have known you Ember..."
She gives me a photograph. It's a picture of all of them.
"...I want you to have it. You don't have to remember our names, just who we are. Even at the vaguest. Don't worry if you can't."
"I'm not forgetting you on purpose. I can't remember why im forgetting you, but its not on purpose. Please remember that..."
"We will."
"My name is Twilight. Twilight Sparkle."
Time comes to pass. I didn't move from that corner. Even when the group left, I remained huddled there. I don't think the doctor had anything else to say, either. My minds deterioration was happening way to drastically for him to bother finding it.
One last shot. Had my family vanished?
"...Melancholy...Melancholy..."
Oh no.
I can't take it anymore. I've had enough.
Night arrives. I know what im going to do, regardless of who sees me. Or what they think. I don't even know how I'm going to do it. But I will.
Why am I in hospital? That's all I ask myself as I creep down the quiet halls. This hospital is unusually empty, considering, well, that it's a hospital and all. My ominous hoofsteps quietly bouncing off the walls with every step I take.
I thought I was alone, until I see a waiting room full of ponys, and a dragon, snoring away. Who were they waiting for? I didn't see anypony else in the hospital beds, and I had no idea who they were, so it can't be me.
I quietly tread past them, trying not to draw any attention to myself. The front doors of the hospital were open, strangely. There is a path, that seems weirdly familiar, but surely I would remember why.
The path takes me through this abandoned town. How did I even get here? Why am I here? There has to be some reason.
The path goes up to a cliff. I was going to jump. That's how this would end, but I can't remember why I was going to jump. Did somepony die? Somepony I knew? But I don't know anypony! Does anypony know me? If so, would they be sad that...I jumped? What would they think? Would they blame themselves...for some ridiculous reason, like they made fun of me? I hope they don't, nopony made fun of me. That is if even anypony knows me in the first place.
I remember something. I jumped off this cliff. When? After some fire? I think so. I can remember the sensation of falling. Horrible. After I jumped, I wish I didn't. I suddenly wanted to live. But for what? Did I know anypony then? Or was it just like now, no idea why I'm here, nopony to stop me and no point in carrying on. I don't even know who I am. My name. What was it? Do I have a name? Oh Celestia, I don't even know my own name.
I started to feel sick. The sight of the tall drop beneath me was too much. The tide was out, so no water was there to break my fall, just the sand.
I can hear voices coming from the abandoned town. I guess it isn't abandoned after all. Some mare was crying, shouting what I assume is someponys name.
"Ember! Where are you, Ember?!"
Somepony was lost? I'm the only pony who is out besides her, so...am I lost? Could that be my name? Ember? The mare spots me, and flies toward me. I don't know what to do, should I jump?
"Ember! Please don't do this! Just wait!"
She lands in front of me.
"Is that my name? Ember?"
"Yes! Don't jump!"
The mare shows me a book.
"I know this won't work, but I can't live knowing I did nothing to help you!"
What was she talking about? The mare opens up a page of the book, and reads. It sounds like a diary, with me in it. It couldn't be mine, I have never wrote a diary.
As the mare reads every sentence, she looks at me, desperate for something to happen. She talks about a talent show. Her eyes were flowing with tears, and she was trying to stop her voice from breaking.
She gets to a poem, that she says I wrote. I didn't write it. I would remember, wouldn't I?
"It's about your brother, Ember! You told me about it in the library! Oh Celestia please, please..!"
"I don't have a brother."
She gives up, drops the book on the floor, and cries.
"Just do it! You don't remember anything anyway! Just jump!"
Should I listen?
I make a step closer to the edge. Her crying gets louder. Another step, the crying becomes practically screaming. I take the last step. The final feel of grass underneath my hooves.
"No!! I didn't mean it, im sorry!!"
I don't jump, but I don't move back, either.
"Oh Celestia, what do I do?!" The mare pleads.
"...who are you?"
There was a pause.
"R-Rainbow...D-Dash..."
"Why don't I remember you?"
"...I don't know...but please...you do know me..."
"Can I ask you some questions?"
"...yeah?"
"You seem to know me, so why was I in hospital?"
"...your losing your memory..."
"Can I get it back?"
"...no..."
"Does that make me...lost in time?"
Rainbow doesn't answer.
I lean forward, and drop. Falling, I spin around to see the night sky above. And Rainbow, darting down to catch me. Too slow.