I am... Derpy Hooves...

Family is always closer than friends... If it applies to even some dumb bucket like me...

   The freezing rain did not end there, I had to hold the rotten bag into my clumsy hooves, and then take off to Uncle Jolly Joe and deliver it to him. It took me at least ten tries to finally keep the perverse thing secure under my control.

   Even then I would still drop it on the way... The gruesome weather is making me anxious... About what happened back there:

   "It wasn't Sweetie Drop's fault..." I convinced myself, "It was because of my dumb being as a pony, no one would bother to even have the slightest thought of my face..."

   But I smiled a fainted smile, at least I got to help her do something that she could not... Or did not want to do... Maybe Sweetie Drops gave this lousy job to me, because it probably is a prank... Oh right, nopony would bother to do anything with me... I cause nothing but trouble. Even the paper bag didn't want to be with me as it keeps dropping...

   Then it got me thinking: Should I just not do this task at all, and just drop the bag off somewhere? No no, then that would disappoint Sweetie Drops, she would be displeased with me, but then she is already displeased with me, everypony is! But then if I ever tried to help, like all those times back then, I always end up in the wrong place! They wouldn't help me get back up, and the world would be closing in on me... It will happen like this time, I will screw up... No, what if this was a chance for me to reform? Maybe then I can develop myself as a great helper of Equestria! Or or...

BAM!

   The next thing I realized was smacked by a tree, warning me to watch where I'm going, then I slid off the leaves, scratched by branches, and finally returned to the ground. Dizzy and even more confused, I forgot what was I supposed to do, or think about. To add the spice, a soft object bounced off my head, and crashed onto the ground, there were chirping notes heard in it, loudly and high pitched. Curious, I reached for the thing, and was about to uncover what is in it. Suddenly I fell over, and there was an unpleasant sound that nopony can escape the guilt....

   The object I fell over on was a nest.

   The eggs were splattered, along with the newborn and young red chicks... All motionless and no sign of warm was felt in them. I backed off quickly after seeing my stupidity. What in Equestria have I done...? Blood began slipping out of the hatchling's heads, or were they heads, or just too small and cute to be seen! No time for that, I quivered, and then it made me think: How would their parents...

   "OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! HELLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!"

   Who was that shouting and panicking for help? As two more red cardinals buzzed above, poking and ramming into me, perfectly resonating in with their color. I had found out that the damsel was me... My clumsiness now added with high inattentiveness and brainless perplexity, why can't I just be locked away in a dark room? So that I don't have to trouble everyone else...?

   STOP! Again I have no time for that, as the pain intercepts my depression into fear and fright, forcing me to flight. Like an everyday cowardly me... Because I fear all, no matter who or what...

   The red cardinal couple rammed me with more force from farther distance, their beaks gored out holes into my back hooves. I was not surprised as birds small as them can be so aggressive and dangerous.

   Because it was towards me...

   It was painful... But the beautiful pain that may teach me a lesson of punishment, I deserved those whippings... I began to faint, I could not handle the blood loss as I flee with my gears on full speed. I could not move an inch, I could not think, was this my fate? Did Celestia and Luna decide my dead end with a cliff? Questions again raised my alarm, but they won't help me in this case, as my hooves were still bleeding quickly and badly, I thought that it was their close and tight relationship with their own family, especially their chicks, therefore their red burst of color on their feathers substituted the power of love, anger and vengeance. To avenge for their loved ones by putting all their fury into the idiot who caused it. They hate me, they wished to put my candle out, and splatter my egg. These three themes are the main elements for red...

    And none of these themes were suited for me...

   The cardinals were about to deal the finishing blow on me when I can barely breathe, they suddenly stopped, perhaps believing that I was finally gone for good. They flew off, but their action grabbed my attention, for I actually turned my head towards them. They chirped, chirped... And wept... For their dead children...

   "It... It was all my fault..." I told myself, "I broke their bond... What kind of a monster am I....?" And I began to cry for them too.

   It was a harsh experience, but the sorrow keeps on coming, the melancholy would not stop it's beat until it reaches me. I do not want to hear others judging me for my sins, again I can only cry, and pray for death...

                                                                _____________________________________________________________________

   I woke up with a shock, rolling my eyes to here and there, only to find a plain bedroom, with warm candles and relaxing couches, even the bed I'm on right now is soothing. Even more ironic, the healthy candles were lighting up just fine on a nearby desk. Which means, that I'm alive and well.

   I wasn't even sure whether that incident with the flaming cardinals was just a whole another dream, but then again, the setting was saved in my photos, so it must have happened. Shivering, I took off the warm blanket, and checked my hooves, they were tightly bandaged, yet I can still see the red spot trying to grab my attention. I stared at it for a long time, and it reddened my eyes to force me into believing that red wasn't a nice color to feel after all.

   "You must've been very exhausted since I saw you lying down in that park nearby." Said a young and energetic voice. Its footsteps increased the amplitude, and I still feel scared because so many things went by and on, and my foolish brain can't handle all the stress. Why would I even be in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar ponies?

   Nopony or place welcomes me anyway...

   The voice blew open this room's only door, and the figure revealed itself to be a brown stallion, with a gray beard, and the minor detailed wrinkles on his face depicted him to be an elder pony.

   Not what I had in mind... I can't evaluate anything...

   "H... Hel.... Hell..." I tried to speak up, but the fear is dragging me from its wrath, the cliff is sharp and unsteady.

   "Hell is not a good language to use in a beginning of a sentence, girl!" He joked out loud, and laughed like he was speaking to the public. Seriously, what is with this pony? He is old and weak yet he speaks young and strong, just pure structure of complex!

   "I... Sorry." I took back my steps from the fear and restarted, "I just am not used to strangers..."

   "Oh ho ho ho! Don't be uncomfortable, young lady!" He replied, "You should feel good since you're the one who had my bag of jolly ranchers!"

   Jolly ranchers...? Since when... Ah! That wet paper bag that Sweetie Drops trusted me with to deliver to Uncle Jolly Joes, the stallion standing in front of me must be him! Lucky lottery! I did it! I actually helped somepony!

   Then again... I collapsed back there because of my stupidity, and it was this stallion who found me, and I was helped instead... Who would even think of helping me...?

   Eventually it hit me, this pony probably doesn't even know who I am! Probably that is the real cause why he helped me, if he did know my reputation... I would be just left there, dead.

   "Wasn't Sweetie Drops the one who's supposed to deliver this to me? Why did it end up in your hooves?" The brown pony asked in a strong tone that I hesitated and dared to speak. "Oh and by the way, the name is Jolly Joes, nice to meet you Miss!" And took out his two hooves to shake mines.

   I knew it, he was the right pony! But the main case wasn't about his identity anymore, but what happened back there. The sorrow again emerged out again transforming into pain as my body automatically spun and twirled. I did not want anypony to actually see my idiocy, but maybe this one can help me out. So I took a deep and lifeless breath, and responded,

   "Sw-...Sweetie Drops, met me on her way, and entrusted me with your jolly ranchers. I-...It was also quite stormy, a-and I was flying in a bad condition, eventually crashing into a tree..." I gulped, as the climax entered the stage, "Th-Then, I saw a nest after it fell with me off the tree, and I tried to get c-closer, a-and I-I fell on it, a-and k-k-killed th-the... Hatchlings.... Then, their parents were so outraged, that they brutally stabbed me with their beaks, and I bled so badly th-that I fainted..." *Sniff sniff.

   "I'm a dumbmule, nothing good comes out of me..." I added, and began to cry.

   "Hmm, despite uncommon to be hurt by small birds, their love for their young had strongly increased their physical strength... Interesting..." Jolly Joes ignored my agony.

   I have nothing else but to cry, even if the quantity is large, I do not care. For I wished I can cry until all the sorrow can flow out and never return when I drink from my favorite cup. Sadly, that either takes forever, or it does not work, for ponies always cry, and people would feel passionate and ease them...

   For me, it was the other side of the universe...

   "Alrighty Miss! Calm down, and relax..." He tried to make it sincere and honest, but deep down there is probably a single straw of hay that he has chewed up. Even worse, when I tried to calm down, I can only hiccup, and hiccup,

   And hiccup until there is no more left in me...

   "I still haven't figured out your name yet, care to tell?" Jolly Joes gladly took out his hoof again. Why didn't he ask this earlier? Wait, that should've been my job... How much of a retard am I...?

   Well at least this new problem that I have to deal with took me away from all those hiccups. I chose to respond to his simple question,

   "I'm Derpy Hooves... Nice to meet you Sir!" I shook his hoof again.

   "Care to tell me anything about you further?"

   I froze, even though I have so much to say in my mind, but for some reason I could not communicate properly, no matter how hard I try to describe something, it always end up on the wrong side of their horseshoes, and this misinterpretation sums up to why I could not make any friends, no one can understand me... Furthermore, I never met Jolly Joes before, how can I trust him to do his part? Then again, I decided to trust him at first place. But what if he changed? What if he is trying to deceive and use me like Sweetie Drops have? These worries stung my heart over and over, I have absolutely no idea on how to deal with this situation...

   "We... Well..." I stuttered each and every syllable, "I... I'm a v-v-v-v-ve-e-e-e-er.... Verrrrrry un.... Unpop...." I halted as if I was caught red hoofed by a royal guard, for I did not know what was the right word to describe me other than "unpopular". "Corrupted" maybe? Or "discordant"? "Disharmonious"? Well, I can only think of such terrific words.

   "Unpopular, you say?" The bearded stallion guessed, and he was right on the rope. "Well I had those days too, many people despised me and rebuffed me for... Well, a lot of things. The snub was annoying as hell!"

   "Sn... Snub...?" I was confused, for I do not know any vocabularies.

   "It means the instance of forcing someone away, or refusal to acknowledge somepony you know."

   "Oh... Sorry, I'm just so stupid... I have no common word choices unlike...."

   "No! Don't feel bad! Instead, cheer up for actually learning something new!" Jolly Joes warmly said, and it was like a ray of white light bursting through the solid concrete brick. I was soon drawn into this conversation.

   "Lea...Learning new things? B-but I'm already a mare! And I still don't even have the basic knowledge of what should be known moons ago!" I tried to argue, hiding my insecurity.

   "Do you have a family to guide you through all this?" He suddenly asked without my suspicion, I was somewhat in an terrified shock, I did not expect this to go where I wanted.

   "My... Family...?