“Huh,” Pinkie Pie said amongst the confusion.

“What’s up?” Cheese asked.

Pinkie turned to him with a mischievous smile. “Did you see that?”

Cheese looked at the chaos around him. “You mean the giant fireball that almost hit Rarity and now the big hole in the conveniently empty salon that is closed on Saturdays?”

Pinkie Pie nodded. “Yeah. And…?” she prompted eagerly.

Cheese hesitated. Was this a party pony test?”Uh, that dragon pushed Rarity out of the way?” he offered helpfully.

Pinkie laughed. “Almost! Can you believe that Garble actually tripped?! That could have been super scary if didn’t! But it’s funny because he did!” Pinkie let out a delighted giggle.

Cheese grinned. Party ponies rolled with the punches. “Maybe we could make him an ‘Accidental Hero’ Badge!” he suggested playfully.

Pinkie Pie gasped. “Oh! My! Gosh! That would be amaze! We could throw him a mini shout at the party tonight!!”

“With balloons!”

“And streamers!”

“Confetti!”

“And a party cannon!”

“Party cannon?”

“Never leave home without one!”

⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽

Rarity looked up in stunned silence as she found her hooves around her new dragon ward’s neck. A rosy blush traveled from her neck to her cheeks as she felt herself still very warm after her close encounter with a possible firey death. Rarity was aghast at the feeling of reptilian skin on top of her own smooth fur as it conjured up memories of her spying on Spike. When she had watched Spike take care of his own needs, part of her had wanted to know how those scales would feel pressed against her fur. And now she knew.

Oh sure, there had been hugs. Plenty of hugs. But to have scaly reptile legs on top of her hooves and the sensation of leathery skin pressed against her own delicate chest was an entirely new sensation. One that made her feel both excited and extremely guilty. Ponies shouldn’t be going for dragons. That’s why she never let Spike get too close.

And yet here she was. Guilt stung bitterly at the corners of her eyes. If Spikey Wikey was here to see this, it would break his heart. She regained her composure quickly as the smoke started to clear and coughed politely.

⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽

Garble had seemed dazed prior to this but at the sound of Rarity’s cough, he snapped back to attention to see he had accidentally managed to catch the fancy pony underneath him.

It had been a while since Garble had been with a female. And even then, he was never with a female that didn’t have scales. His last “conquest” had been with a gryffin and he’d rather not count it. It last a total of five minutes, of which, four minutes and fifty-five seconds of it had been of her verbal abusing him and he didn’t even get off.

In his opinion, fur was too soft to be good for anything. Not durable, tearing easily. Not even flame resistant. It was useless and weak. Garble glanced over the pony’s body with a disinterested critique, inwardly wishing he had fallen on top of the female dragon instead. He opened his mouth to launch another snide comment when something glittery caught his eye.

Around the unicorn’s neck was a glistening ruby gem attached to a golden chain. The gem shone even brighter than the fire that had blazed above both of them just moments before and to even the fanciest pony, it would have been considered quite beautiful. Garble, however, possessed a limited concept of beauty. But his mind thought eagerly, I do know when something is delicious. He found his mouth watering with anticipation and quickly shut it to avoid drooling on Rarity.

“Yeah, yeah, no problem,” he muttered dismissively, eagerly reaching for the chain around her neck.

Rarity bit her lip, swallowed before quickly standing up straight. Garble grasped empty air as he fell flat onto his sore snout. He let out a yelp as he quickly brought his claws to his snout. Did that crazy broad break my snout? She was pretty strong. I’ll have to be careful if I let her give me a hand later. He thought dirtily.

Rarity took this opportunity to tuck her necklace back underneath her scarf. “Well, it might not be a problem for you, but I am certainly most grateful. I very well could have been sauteed. And though I’m craving that tanned look, I certainly don’t want to become barbeque for it!” Rarity gave a nervous chuckle as she finished extraditing herself from Garble. “Now let’s gather our friends and keep moving.”

Garble scratched his head in confusion. “Uhm...alright then,” raising himself and following the flustered unicorn.

⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽

“Rarity! Sugah! Ya alright?” Applejack hollered, pushing past a group of disoriented ponies as she spotted Rarity and Garble walking towards her.

The whole plaza was a disaster, although thankfully it appeared that no pony had actually been hurt, save for a few scratches. Ponies who hadn’t outright fled at the sound of the explosion were picking themselves up and talking excitedly amongst each other. As Applejack passed by ponies, she picked up snippets of conversation.

“What happened?”

“Is everything alright?”

“Aww, all the ice cream melted.”

Applejack approached, sighing in relief to see her friend unharmed. “Boy howdy, Rarity, ya durn near scared the daylights outta me. Ah thought ya were gonna more burnt that an overbaked apple tart!”

Rarity laughed and shook her head. “If it wasn’t for Garble, I most certainly would have.” Rarity looked around in concern. “Um, did you manage to find Fluttershy?”

Applejack opened her mouth and slammed it shut. “Aww...gosh dangit horse saddles.” she swore before turning on her hooves and darting back into the crowd.

Applejack’s presence was quickly replaced by a bouncing, beaming pink pony. “Hiya, Rarity!” Pinkie exclaimed, “Oh boy! This has been an exciting girls day so far! Especially after the boys joined us.”

Rarity laughed, “You could say that again, darling.”

Pinkie smiled, “Oh boy! This has been an exciting-”

“Oh ah darling, it’s just an expression,” Rarity quickly interrupted before Pinkie could continue.

“Oh oops!”

Cheese laughed, “Well the more the merrier! My sister is going to be so stoked to see you guys! She lives just a little bit further down this road.”

Rarity nodded, “Alright. Well let’s gather the ladies...oh, I do hope Brock hasn’t misplaced my suitcases during this whole ordeal,” Rarity wondered, trying to ignore Garble staring at her neck. She twirled her scarf nervously. “I guess we should follow Applejack.”

⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽

With a determined kick, Fluttershy finally kicked herself free of the suitcases that had toppled on top of her during the commotion. She blew at the wayward strands of hair that plastered her face and she let out a quiet triumphant “yay”. She looked around in confusion, seeing the disorganized crowd of distraught and disappointed ponies. “What happened?”

“A-a-a-a-” a voice stammered. She stood up and gasped when she saw Brock.

The well groomed pegasus was a fluster of feathers. His luxurious mane had bits of rock and ice cream stuck to him. His whole body trembled and he pointed toward the now empty ice cream stand.

“Brock!” she called, running over to his shaking form, “What is it?”

“A m-m-m-m-”

“Brock?”

“A monster!” Brock almost shrieked.

“A...monster?” Fluttershy asked, her heart fluttering in her chest. Could it be? she thought, grasping at a faint hope.

“The-the dragon! It was the dragon!”

Fluttershy hesitated, “The dragon?”

Brock vigorously shook his head, “The dragon was not the dragon! The dragon was the monster!” he stammered incoherently.

Fluttershy felt something sink in her chest. “Oh...the dragon?” she found herself echoing. Why are you so disappointed about a monster? Her mind asked suspiciously. I don’t know she admitted. She placed a supportive hoof on Brock who almost jumped in shock. “You were really brave,” she offered, trying to calm down the pegasus.

Brock stopped trembling and looked at her eagerly. “R-really?”

Fluttershy nodded, attempting to smile even as she felt disappointed. “Of course! Not everypony would step in front of another pony to protect them from..um..what did you protect me from?”

Brock hesitated. “Um...well.”

“Fluttershy!”

The two pegasusi turned toward the voice and saw Applejack running over to them. “Are you okay? That was a huge explosion!” she exclaimed, out of breath.

“It was?” Fluttershy asked, tilting her head.

“Yes!” Brock piped up. “It was a huge explosion! That I totally protected you from!” he announced, triumphantly.

“You did?” Fluttershy asked, looking at Brock.

“You did?” Applejack panted.

“Uh! Yes!” Brock affirmed, flashing a gallant smile that still trembled. “It was very noble.”

“Oh, well, thank you!” Fluttershy thanked cheerfully.

Brock smiled and leaned forward toward her with his eyes shut, catching Fluttershy off guard. Rather than back away, Fluttershy found herself rooted to the spot. Oh my gosh! What do I do?

She didn’t have enough time to act as Brock opened his eyes within inches of her face. His eyes bugged and he quickly snapped back. “Oh! Wow. Um, whoa!” he stammered.

Fluttershy was even more confused. Wait, why did he stop? she wondered. “What is it?”

“Um, maybe-ah-after you clean up a bit?” Brock suggested awkwardly.

Fluttershy felt the comment sting. “Clean up? I don’t understand?” she asked stepping backwards, feeling slightly distraught.

“Fluttershy! Darling there you ladies are. Oh, and Brock!” Fluttershy, Applejack and Brock turned to see the arrival of Rarity, a dragon, Pinkie and Cheese. Rarity caught sight of Fluttershy and her face fell. “Oh dear, looks like you were caught up in the explosion too.”

“I still don’t understand,” Fluttershy admitted, sighing. Rarity smiled gently.

“Hang on dear, I have a pocket mirrored gem. Never leave home without it,” Rarity offered, reaching into her satchel and retrieving a small translucent gem quickly despite the clutter inside her bag. She offered it helpfully to Fluttershy who proceeded to gaze into it and gasp.

“Oh my goodness,” she gasped quietly. Every flavor of ice cream painted her face and mane. She looked at her normally yellow fur and found it stained with double chocolatey chip, sherbert and bits of rocky road. She wanted to bury her face in her hooves in embarrassment. “I look-look-”

“Delicious!” Pinkie Pie shouted helpfully.

Rarity patted her reassuringly with a napkin and retrieved her mirror from Fluttershy’s sticky hooves. “Nothing a hot shower won’t fix,” she announced. She looked at Cheese expectantly, “You do have hot water at your place?”

Cheese scratched his head. “I think so. There was some repair work being done at some point but we should have at least one of the seven bathrooms available.”

“Oh excellent...I’m sorry, did you say seven bathrooms?”

Applejack nudged a surprised Rarity. “Alright, questions later. Let’s find out where Twilight ended up.”

“Ooh! Ooh! I think I saw her in that back street over there!” Pinkie exclaimed, “This way!” Applejack motioned for the group to follow the bouncing Pinkie as she proceeded to bring up the rear.

Fluttershy had not moved from where she stood. She looked downcast and awfully quiet considering they all just made it through a fireball. Applejack placed a gentle hoof on her shoulder. “Fluttershy, ya alright?” she asked, “Did ya get hurt?”

Fluttershy shook her head softly and asked quietly, “Am I really that gross?”

“What? No way!” Applejack argued angrily. She softened her tone, “Ya look just fine compared to all the chaos around us. Shucks, I’m sure Discord would just be loving all this right now if he was here,” Applejack admitted with a chuckle.

Fluttershy’s eyes lit up and she looked up at the splatters of banana berry ice cream and the fillies playing in a miniature lake of vanilla bean. “Yes, I really do think he would have.” A smile crept sneakily onto her face. “Applejack, what do you think Discord’s up to now?” she asked curiously as she followed her friend.

Applejack scoffed. “Knowing Discord, he’s probably getting himself into trouble.”

⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽

“Discord! You are in so much trouble!” Twilight growled, glaring at the suspended Draconequus.

“So am I off the hook?” Spike asked hopefully.

“Oh you definitely are in trouble too!” Twilight snapped, turning her attention to her loyal assistant. “You are in just as much trouble as he is!”

“Aw shucks.”

Discord humphed. “I fail to see why we are in trouble. It was clearly your fault,” he protested, attempting to point a guilty finger at Twilight but her magic prevented him from doing more than just wiggling it.

She blinked in surprise but kept her Alicorn magic going. “My fault? Excuse me, but I did not break a promise to not come here!”

“Well, we clearly had no choice in that matter. You girls could have let me talk to Fluttershy before you all left-”

“Discord, you know that wasn’t an option. I know what happened between you and Fluttershy,” Twilight rebuked sternly.

Discord opened his mouth but whatever snarky comeback he had died in his throat. Spike looked over in surprise at this before turning his attention back to Twilight Sparkles. Right now, Spike would rather have faced a thousand Garbles rather than deal with this angry princess.

“We took Fluttershy on this trip to give you both a break. To figure things out without..uh..well hormones clouding your reasonable thinking,” Twilight continued. She hesitated. “Well as close to reasonable thinking that you can do.”

Discord did not respond. He wasn’t smiling smugly anymore either. Spike decided to speak up.

“Um, Twilight…” Spike began.

“And you!” Twilight turned on him, “You were supposed to stay at the castle!”

Spike puffed out his chest in indignation. “Yeah, well you said there were not going to be any boys and you let Garble join you guys.”

“I did not let Garble join us! Listen, Spike-”

Spike was upset. “No! You just gave Rarity to Garble!”

Twilight’s magic flickered as fire burned in her eyes. “I didn’t give Rarity to anypony, Spike! Rarity is not an object! She’s a pony capable of making her own decisions! And you thinking you own her because you do nice things for her is so stupid!”

“I-i-i didn’t say that-!” Spike tried to protest, feeling taken aback by Twilight’s brutal words.

“Do you boneheads have any idea what I’ve been going through?!” Twilight demanded. Discord and Spike exchanged worried glances.

“We kinda do. You see-” Discord admitted, but Twilight cut him off.

“I’m trying to organize a fun girl get together and then Princess Celestia sends Flash to me because there’s been a disturbance in the magical forces! So now I have to plan for more ponies and worry about a possible attack and while Celestia is watching me! And then you guys show up and blow up a plaza!”

“Twilight, please you don’t understand! We came to warn you-!” Spike pleaded.

“Warn me?” Twilight asked, looking at him unsteadily. “About what? About how hot it was going to be?”

This was his chance. Spike began. “Well Fluttershy’s heat is making you-!”

“Princess Twilight Sparkle, there you are!” Twilight felt her attention yanked away from Spike as she turned to collide with Flash Sentry with a very unprincess like thud.

Discord and Spike felt themselves drop a foot as Twilight collided with Flash but were immediately resuspended as Twilight pulled herself away from the guard. Her eyes were glazed over and she appeared disoriented.

“Princess? Are you alright?” Flash asked, noticing her strange appearance. He placed his hooves on either side of her face to look into eyes with concern as she attempted to regain her bearings.

“You probably should take your hooves off of her,” Discord muttered, “you’re just making it worse.”

Flash released Twilight and turned toward Discord, his hoof now on the hilt of his sword. “What sorcery is this? Do you have a spell on Twilight?” he demanded.

Spike perked up, “No! Wait! You see, it’s all because-!”

A smile flickered onto Discord’s face. “What of it, you little tin soldier?” he taunted.

“Why you-?!”

“Everypony shut up!” an angry Twilight yelled, holding her own head. She focused on Flash. “You!”

Flash stepped backwards in surprise towards Discord and Spike. “Me?”

“Yes! You! Where were you when a pony crowd mobbed me?!” Twilight demanded.

“I uh, uh...I was trying to get back to you. I wasn’t at my post, you’re right. I was trying to uh..” He looked over helplessly at the suspended reptiles. Spike sighed and Discord was starting to snicker rudely.

“What were you doing that was so important?!” Twilight growled, advancing on him.

Flash looked around nervously. “I-is this part of your spell, Discord?” Flash asked uncertainly.

Discord shrugged. “Maybe it is. No spell is alike.”

“I am not under a spell!” Twilight growled, wobbling unsteadily as she took another step toward the males.

“That’s exactly what a pony would say if she was under my spell,” Discord offered.

The magic holding Discord and Spike was starting to flicker in and out of existence. Spike realized he could move his talons and looked to Discord whose small smile had turned into a smug grin.

“H-how would I break the spell?” Flash Sentry asked, not taking his eyes off of Twilight.

“Oh! You’re going to listen to him?! Are you serious?” Twilight exclaimed.

“Well, I know in Twilight’s books...isn’t the spell broken by a kiss?” Spike offered, playing along with the makeshift plan.

“A k-kiss?”

“Spike, you little traitor!!” Twilight growled. She looked at Flash. “Flash Sentry, I command you to stay right there!”

Flash Sentry was sweating bullets. “I am loyal to the crown...and to you, Twilight...but I am sworn to protect you and-and I’m super super sorry about this!” With that, Flash lunged forward and tackled a surprised Twilight.

With a resounding pop, Twilight’s magic shattered, dropping Discord and Spike to the ground with as much grace as a banana singing opera to a herd of hungry gnats. Spike ignored the poor metaphor and grabbed Discord’s arm. “Get us out of here!” he yelled.

Flash looked at the two males in confusion. “Wait, what?”

Discord winked. “Good job, soldja boi. The only spell your pretty princess was under was your own! Adios muchacho!” And with a snap of his fingers, they vanished into fat air.

Flash looked at the empty space in confusion. “What? My own spell? I don’t...wait, what?” he asked. It was eerily quiet in the cramped alley he had tailed Twilight into. The only sound was Twilight’s heavy breathing. He didn’t remember casting a spell. “If you’re not under a spell then-oh no!”

He looked down to see he had successfully pinned Twilight to the ground and had not been blasted to oblivion. Her cheeks were flushed and sweat glistened off her body. He felt his own nostrils flare up as the scent of the ground enhanced her princessy musk. He felt himself tensing as his wings quivered in anticipation of something he was unsure of. Maybe, since I’m already this far...Maybe there was a spell...I could a small voice started to suggested.

His noble nature immediately detained the wayward thought and put it into his mental prison. Absolutely not! Discord was lying! I will not take advantage-

“Flash?” he heard Twilight moan in a voice that almost made his wings stand to attention.

“Yes? Prin-I mean Twilight?” he asked, leaning in closer, feeling his own heart pound against his metal armor, trying to pump blood to his brain which was starting to feel dizzy. She looked up at him, her eyes no longer glazed over but shining bright and intelligently as normal.

“I can’t breathe!” she croaked.

Flash looked at her in confusion until a horrible realization struck him. Here he was, a full grown pegasus in a full suit of armor with all that weight pressed firmly on top of her much smaller frame. He quickly leapt off her and helped her to get to her hooves.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he apologized profusely as Twilight Sparkle coughed and gagged. Congratulations. You cured the princess by cutting off her supply of oxygen. The kingdom is saved. Way to go, numnuts.

As she began to take in oxygen, Flash noticed with concern that her eyes were starting to lose that crispness again. Maybe this alley is enchanted! He quickly seized her and dashed towards the entrance of the alley. As he reached the entrance, he was relieved to see her friends approaching and quickly released her to an eager Pinkie.

“Woohoo! I caught Twilight! Gotta catch em all!” Pinkie rallied. Twilight coughed in response.

“Twilight! Are you alright?” Rarity gasped, “What happened?”

Flash looked guiltily downwards. “I failed Twilight. I listened to Discord and-”

“Discord was here?” Rarity exclaimed but quickly lowered her voice to an urgent whisper as she spotted Applejack and Fluttershy approaching.

Flash nodded. “Twilight had them trapped in the alley and I think Discord put a spell in the alley that made ponies act weird. But I’m not so sure about that part.”

“Them? Who is them?” Rarity pressed.

Brock looked confused, “Discord?”

Cheese maintained his ever present smile but was notably concerned. “Listen, we can all ask questions later. Right now, let’s get Twilight to my sister’s house. We’re almost there. Once she is feeling better, we can talk about it then.”

Fluttershy walked in on Twilight coughing and gasped, “Oh my goodness! Twilight! Are you alright?” as she put a hoof to her forehead.

Twilight nodded breathlessly. “Yes and yes. Cheese is right. Come on Flash, let’s go.”

“Wait!” Flash called out. He reached underneath his armor and pulled out a small gold whistle on a piece of string. “Twilight, I caused you enough trouble today. Please, take this. Celestia had enchanted this whistle. If you blow it, it will teleport me to you immediately. No matter where you are.” He pressed it into Twilight’s hooves. Her attempts to speak where overridden by another coughing fit and he bowed formally. “I’m sorry, Twilight,” he apologized before leaping into the air and soaring briskly toward the castle.

“Um, if he had that whistle all along,” Applejack wondered, “why did he insist on coming with us?”

“House first! Questions later!” Cheese insisted.

Twilight breathed in wonderful oxygen as she watched Flash fly away. I’d like to know that too, Flash Sentry.

⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽

Discord and Spike popped into existence in front of a store. Discord was cackling madly. “Hahaha!!! Did you see the look on Twilight’s face when that guard landed on her?”

“Yes.” Spike confirmed stoically as he began to dust off interdimensional donut powder.

Discord wiped a tear from his eyes and he finished chuckling. “Well that will put Ms. Know-it-all out of commission for at least a little while. So here’s the next phase of the plan. We take these flippers-”

“No.”

Discord paused, holding a pair of scuba diver flippers. “Well, I guess we can forgo the flippers although they are an integral part of the plan. So you’ll take this vat of duck fat and-”

“No.”

Discord gave an exasperated sigh. “You know dear, you could be a little more supportive of our plan instead of being a Negative Nancy.”

“There is no ‘our’ plan,” Spike muttered under his breath.

Discord cleared his throat. “Can you repeat that? I must still have some stone in my ears from the last time your friends froze me,” he requested, reaching into his ears and pulling out a lifesize pedestal of a female pony missing its two front feet which he tossed to the side.

“Let me say it louder it for you. I am not helping you!” Spike growled, starting to walk away from the Draconequus only to have the demi god materialize next to him.

“Aw, is Spikey Wikey upset?” Discord cooed, pinching his cheek only to have his paw slapped away by an irritated Spike.

“You bet I’m upset!” Spike hollered back at him, “Your stupid plan got us nothing but more problems. Thanks to you, I drove Rarity right into Garble’s arms and I broke Twilight’s trust. And you just had to egg Twilight on instead of letting me explain what was happening. I nearly killed Rarity today! Listening to you was the dumbest thing I have ever done!” Spike marched forward but was stopped again.

Discord had materialized in front of him and this time he wasn’t smiling. He leaned down to Spike’s height and poked him in the chest. “My plan was perfect. And I would think a little brat like you would be grateful to be part of one of my perfect plans even after you summoned that pegasus to take Fluttershy away from me.”

Spike huffed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Discord’s tone became significantly darker. “Oh really? A gentle, thoughtful, good looking male pegasus just happens to show up and just happens to have the exact name you said in Ponyville? What was it..Brock? How stupid do you think I am?”

Spike laughed in Discord’s face. “Trust me, you don’t want me to answer that. How would I summon anypony when I don’t have any magic? You just happen to have the universe or some angry god against you. And I wouldn’t blame them.” And with that, Spike pushed Discord aside and kept walking.

“Get back here!” Discord ordered.

“No thank you!” Spike called over his shoulder, “I’m going to try to fix all the damage you caused. From now on, you’re on your own!”

Discord remained in his spot as ponies glanced at him nervously and kept walking. He swung around and yelled after Spike, “Well that’s fine! I don’t need your help anyway!”

“Donkey head!”

“It’s a horse head and you know that!” Discord yelled after Spike, but the dragon was already disappearing into a pony crowd. Discord growled at any ponies who stopped to watch the spectacle, causing them to move on quickly.

⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽

As the two males quickly formulated their separate plans, Discord and Spike both gritted their teeth and unknowingly said in unison. “Now we do things my way.”

Author's Note

So this story is going to go in about 3 different yet simultaneous directions where will be following Spike, the girls and of course Discord...And for the folks sending me private messages to "GET TO THE CLOPPING ALREADY!", stop it. It is coming (hah) but this is going to be a story with a decent plot and with character development darn it (or at least I'm trying) with gratuitous sex when it is appropriate. Stay with me guys, there's a reason for the M rating.