Author's Note

Sorry for being late on this one. Coworker hulked out, flipping a table and quitting. It was super impressive actually since she had a bad back but it definitely cut into writing time since everyone has to pick up her shifts.
Yes, this chapter has some tacky bits. Read with an open mind and please keep rotten veggies to yourself. >.<

Chapter 14: Gifts from a Secret Admirer

“Hey sis! I’m home!” Cheese announced, opening the impressive door into a large parlour, “And I brought my friends!”

To everyone’s surprise, a very stylishly dressed pony appeared at the top of the stairs. “Cheese! I’m so excited! I could just die!” And with that, she jumped off the stairs.

Applejack lunged into the room. “Wait! Don’t!” she shouted, attempting to catch the leaping pony, but it was too late. The female pony plummeted to the ground. With milliseconds to go, she suddenly pulled a piece of string off a center square on her outfit. The square inflated to the size of a king mattress which the pony flopped onto with a graceful boof instead of an earth splattering splat much to every pony’s relief.

Cheese quickly ran up to her and placed a hoof around her shoulders as the female pony quickly stood up, disconnecting herself from the mattress. “Everypony! This is my sister, Jelly Bean! Sis, these are my friends!”

“Hiya! I’m Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie Pie greeted enthusiastically, jumping to the front of the group.

“Oh! You’re Pinkie Pie! I’m so happy to meet you! I’ve heard so much about you!”

Pinkie smiled hopefully. “Oh goodie! Wait, they were good...right?”

“Duh! Of course!” Jelly Bean laughed. She spotted Brock and Garble standing awkwardly by the doorway. “Ooh! Did you bring me extra guests?”

“Yeppers! Do we have enough room?” Cheese asked.

“Of course! Mom and dad are going to be gone at least until next week so the west wing is totally open.” Jelly Bean smiled and beckoned the other ponies/dragon in. “Come in, come in!”

The small group walked inside. Rarity’s jaw nearly dropped from her skull as she gawked at the entrance way. “Cheese? This is where you live?”

Cheese Sandwich nodded enthusiastically. “Yup! This is where I grew up.”

Rarity looked at Cheese as if he had two heads. “You backpack all over Equestria...and you live here?”

Cheese started laughing. “I can’t think of a better way to come up with a funny joke when you’re sleeping in a tent that’s rolling down a mountain.” He turned eagerly toward Pinkie who had been strangely quiet. She wasn’t smiling and her lips were pressed tightly together. “Uh, Pinkie...do you like it?”

Pinkie started to shake, prompting Applejack to lean in to her. “Ah, sugah? Ya okay?”

Pinkie looked directly into Cheese’s eyes and let out a loud shriek.

“OH MY GOSH! THIS HOME IS AMAZE! JUST THINK OF ALL THE BOUNCY PADS WE COULD HERE AND HERE AND HERE!” With each “here” Pinkie almost seemed to teleport to different parts of the rooms. In one instant she was by the gilded staircase and another near the pony angel statues by the mahogany lining of the silk couches. “And we can get the biggest streamers off this chandelier,” Pinkie announced, seemingly teleporting on top of the expensive chandelier.

Jelly nudged Cheese, breaking him from his almost enchanted watch of Pinkie. “You weren’t kidding about Pinkie! She’s-she’s-”

“Amazerific!”

“Exactly!”

Jelly left Cheese to watch the pink acrobatic and turned her attention to his friends. She smiled when she spotted Fluttershy and Brock. “Oh woah! You guys sure look colorful. Would you like to use the shower? I only have one working now. Maybe you guys could share if you’re running short on time. I was trying out my new cherry bang trick and I guess I put more bang than cherry in my tricks!” She laughed and elbowed Fluttershy playfully. “I gotta remember to pop that cherry before the bang!”

Fluttershy felt herself blush violently. Normally produce and explosions seemed commonplace to her especially ever since she became friends with Rainbow Dash. But during her heat, these words conjured up passionate images of moaning and twisting, a sense of building up pressure just anticipating being released in one...final...thrust.

She felt a hoof fall on her shoulder and Fluttershy let out a startled moan. She quickly glanced around but didn’t see that any other pony noticed her minor release. Until she realized that the hoof was still on her. She followed the hoof up to the pony it belonged to. It was Brock.

Brock looked at her with a strange smile. He leaned in towards her with that smile still on his lips. “Maybe-maybe we could? I don’t know about you but it’s hard to get right at the base of the feathers sometimes,” he suggested awkwardly. His hoof trailed down to the base of her wings and began to rub in small circles.

“O-oh,” Fluttershy gasped, feeling her wings starting to become taut at the sensation. She felt her eyelids grow heavy and her breathing quicken.

Her eyes opened quickly as the sensation vanished as quickly as it came. Applejack had jutted herself forcefully between the two awkward pegasusi. “Brock, ya go on and clean yahself first,” Applejack ordered.

“Oh but I didn’t mean-”

“Ah’m sure there’s a hose outside ah could spray ya with if ya want ta shower with Flutters,” Applejack threatened.

Brock took the hint and turned quickly toward Jelly. “Right, so um, where’s that shower?”

“Oh, upstairs, fourth door on the left.

“Ah, thank you.” Brock shot Fluttershy a goofy smile. “I’ll let you know when I’m done,” he promised. He hurried up the stairs to avoid another glare from Applejack.

Garble sneered. “Showers? You ponies are ridiculous. Trying to be clean and wear fancy clothes. Nothing’s better than going the way you are hatched,” he snorted, blowing a smoke ring into Rarity’s slackjawed face.

Rarity coughed and regained her senses, waving the smoke away. “Please, dressing up is a way to show appreciation for those around you. To let everyone know that you made an effort to make an event special.”

Garble snorted another lazy smoke ring and flopped onto a fainting couch, eliciting a distressed squeak from its delicate frame. “Well, I guess tonight won’t be that special will it since I ain’t got no clothes.”

“No...clothes?” Rarity gaped. There was a brief pause as the neurons in Rarity’s brain connected. Rarity seized Garble by both shoulders, yanking the surprised dragon off the couch. “What do you mean you ain’t got no clothes!?” she demanded, her eyes boring into him with an intensity that could burn holes in mythril.

Garble squirmed uncomfortably, looking for help but finding none. The other ponies had wisely stepped back from the angry unicorn. “Um, I didn’t think I needed them?”

Rarity’s eyes burned even brighter. “There-is-a-dress-code!” she growled, shaking him at every word.

With an exasperated growl, Rarity threw him back against the couch. She calmed herself and readjusted her scarf and mane with a large sigh. “Girls,” she said in a voice that was too calm for what had just transpired, “We will be right back. Garble and I need to get him dressed for tonight.”

Garble opened his mouth to argue but hesitated. He settled for mumbling, “You’re going to regret ordering me around.”

Rarity whirled on him and stuck a hoof sharply into his chest. “I’m going to regret it more if I get turned away from this party because you refuse to wear a pique bow tie!”

“A what?” Garble asked in confusion. But Rarity no longer was listening to him. She was on a pony on a mission and he had no choice but to follow her outside.

Applejack sighed as Rarity and Garble left the building. “Alright, now somepony explain to me why there’s another dragon here?”

⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽

Garble crossed his arms as he followed Rarity down the street. “Fancy Boot’s approval means that much to you, huh, Larry?” Garble taunted an agitated Rarity

Rarity paused in front of a shop and faced him. “For your information, my name is Rarity. And no, Fancy Pants’ approval doesn’t mean the world to me, but he does have great influence and knowledge to help me start my own clothing line here.”

Garble looked her up and down and let out a whistle of admiration. “Hmm, you might be more dragon like that I thought.”

Rarity hesitated. “I’m not sure I follow.”

Garble laughed. “Looking out for number one. I like that. It’s a dragon eat dragon world out there. Greed can get you far in life.”

Rarity took a step back. “I am not doing this out of greed,” she argued defensively.

The dragon snorted and spit on the side of the road, narrowly missing a passing pony. “Whatever you say. But hear me out.” He advanced toward Rarity with a sinister smile. “You need me to act nice so you can impress the upper crust ponies.”

“That’s-that’s not true,” Rarity stammered, quickly looking side to side. There were no ponies eavesdropping. In fact, most ponies kept their distance especially after the spitting bit.

Garble continued, “If I play nice, the other ponies will thank you and listen to everything you have to say. You make out a bandit.”

Rarity hesitated. “That would be very helpful if you could cooperate, yes. I think we could learn a lot from each other,” Rarity admitted, “You would have my sincere thanks.”

“Hold your thanks. I said if I play nice. I just don’t do favors for nothin’ ya know. I’m going to want something from you.” Rarity found herself trembling at these words. He eyed her shaking body with a lecherous smirk.

Rarity froze and her mind raced. Something from me? What could he possibly mean? She thought. Despite wearing clothes, she felt very naked and vulnerable. Her skin crawled and her cheeks flushed as Garble leaned in toward her. She pressed herself instinctively against the awning of doorway and Garble towered over her. He placed a claw on her neck and she shivered.

“I want your jewels,” he said throatily.

Rarity gasped. “I beg your pardon?” she demanded, indignation and excitement coloring her cheeks a ruby red.

“Your jewels. Your sparkling gemstones. I want those,” Garble clarified, slipping a claw underneath her scarf and slowly pulling out her gold chain. “This one interests me a lot actually.”

Rarity stiffened, but only for a moment. She quickly swatted Garble’s claws off her necklace. “This gem is not up for negotiation,” she countered.

Garble shrugged as she turned away to place the necklace back in the safety of her scarf, using the window to examine and adjust herself. “Fine. Your call. But what are a few gems when your whole life could change in a night?”

Rarity stopped adjusting her scarf as she looked at herself in the window. Garble’s words echoed in her mind as she studied her reflection in the window. Her mane was still frayed and slightly singed from the fireball, her clothes were unkempt and bits of ice cream stained her hooves. The smell of brimstone wafted off of her body. She caught a glimpse of the shopkeeper inside. I look nothing like her. She’s so prim and put together her mind chastised. Nothing great was ever accomplished without a few sacrifices that voice inside her head pressured.

Rarity considered the thought. She had brought a couple of her more precious stones on her possession. I would be reluctant to part with these...but I could always find replacements.

Rarity resolutely straightened herself out and quickly brushed through her mane. She turned to face Garble who was etching his name into the other side of the door. “Alright, here are my terms. If giving you gems will encourage you to behave and try to act in a more gentlecolt manner, then I can accommodate your request. However!” Rarity flicked her mane to the side. “My necklace is not up for negotiation. Are we clear?” She asked, sticking out a hoof.

Garble dusted the drywall off his claws and grinned at Rarity. “Alrighty. No touching the necklace.” He held out a claw and Rarity took it graciously.

“Very good! Now first lesson. It is always polite when meeting someone new, especially a lady, to kneel down slightly with one knee. As so,” Rarity demonstrated, bowing down with one of her front knees.

Garble imitated her clumsily and Rarity allowed herself to smile. “You’ll get the hang of it. Just keep practicing.”

Garble coughed expectantly and Rarity’s smile faltered. She glanced around to see if any pony was looking before she slowly slid off one of her bracelets. She handed it sadly to Garble who greedily slurped it up with a disgusting belch. Rarity sighed.

“Let’s go inside so the tailor can fit you for a suit. We can practice more while we wait for them.” Rarity made a motion to move inside but Garble caught her hoof.

“You’re missing something.”

“Pardon?”

“After I hold your hoof and bow and stuff...I’m supposed to do something else, aren’t I?” Garble insisted suspiciously.

Rarity withdrew her hoof quickly. “I-I don’t believe I know what you’re referring to. Let’s just enter, please.” Rarity quickly opened the door and walked in before Garble could interrupt further. Her mind was racing as she internally repeated her codes of proper gentelcolt/gentlemare behavior.

After the gentlecolt and gentlemare kneel slightly to each other, the stallion shall place a kiss on the mare’s hoof…

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A small figure was desperately doing everything he could not to leap out of his hiding place and throttle Garble until he coughed up Rarity’s bracelet.

Spike watched carefully from behind the benches near the shop Rarity entered. He was clenching his claws, putting small dents in the wooden frame of the bench. He did not feel the wood splintering underneath his claws. It wasn’t until somepony tapped him on the shoulder that his mind could think of anything else but watching Rarity.

“Oh excuse me sir.” Spike was startled as an elderly well dressed unicorn tapped him gently on the shoulder. “Would you mind not digging your nails into this bench? My grandchildren really like this bench and I am afraid they might get poked if you keep making splinters.”

“Oh, um, I’m sorry!” Spike quickly apologized, releasing the bench, keeping his eyes on the shop.

The old mare followed his gaze. “Oh, do you know that young mare?” She asked as Rarity and Garble disappeared into the shop.

“Yeah…”

“Do you like her?”

Spike let his shoulders sag. “Yeah, but there’s this other guy. And he’s a huge jerk. But I don’t think she realizes how big of a jerk he is ya know? I just wish I knew how to get her attention without her knowing it was me.”

The old unicorn nodded understandingly and sat on the intact part of the bench. She motioned for Spike to sit next to her and he awkwardly did so, wincing as he felt small slivers poke him in the butt. “I remember when I was a young filly...oh I was being courted by a dashing colt...but then I started receiving gifts from a mysterious suitor. No name...the gifts were only signed with ‘Your Secret Admirer’. They were such thoughtful gifts...handpicked flowers...a silk ribbon tied around a poem...I fell in love with him even before I finally met him face to face. He came from a poor family but it didn’t matter to me.”

Spike looked at her in confusion. “How did you know that these gifts were from him if he never signed his name?”

The old mare smiled. “After we were married, I found his journal. He wrote down every gift he ever got me...the date, how he got it...and why it was important to me.”

Spike scratched his chin thoughtfully. “Hey, that’s a pretty good idea, Mrs. uh-”

“Rose, darling.”

“Well thanks Mrs. Rose. Your husband seems like a smart pony.”

“Yes. Jack...he certainly was. I miss him,” she remembered, her face and voice softening as she spoke.

Spike felt like someone punched him in the stomach. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Rose waved at him. “Oh no worries dear. I’m sure we'll be together soon,” she smiled warmly, “Now go get your mare!”

Spike felt himself tear up and he quickly wiped his eyes. What a bittersweet thing for her to say. “Yes ma’am,” Spike agreed and stood up straight. “I can do this.”

⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽

“What just happened?” Spike asked himself he held an ice pack to his swollen eye. He sat on a stool in a Canterlot pub, trying to figure out what exactly happened in the last hour that led to him not only with a black and blue eye, but being even further from convincing Rarity that Garble was a jerk.

The bartender pony sidled up to him, concerned. “Hey bud, another ice pack?”

Spike nodded and traded in his lukewarm pack for a fresh pack. “Can I get something to drink?” he asked, wincing as the icy coldness touched the bruised flesh.

“Sure, sure. I’ll get ya something. Want to share what happened?” The bartender offered.

Spike sighed. “There’s this girl I like. A lot. I don’t know at this point if she likes me back. Maybe she does. Or she did. But there’s this other guy who she agreed to take out to help a friend of hers. And I screwed up something so now she thinks this guy is super awesome when he actually is still a jerk. I thought I could fix everything by leaving gifts for her...and well..”

⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽

“Garble, um, what is that?”

“I dunno, but it's got your name on it?”

“Oh….oh! My goodness! A limited edition pair of Pinuit stockings! With a receipt! Is-is this for me?”

“Yeah, do you like socks?”

“I do! Oh my goodness! Are you learning how to be a gentle pony afterall?”

⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽

“He was not learning how to be a gentlepony!” Spike argued. “He found my presents and ate my notes before Rarity could find them. She thinks he was using the gems to pay for them but he was still eating them. He had the gall to ask for more gems to behave!” Spike simmered.

“And the black eye?”

“Ah...I wasn’t fast enough.”

⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽

Spike placed the last present in Rarity’s hanging coat in the coat room of the tea house. Rarity had been so proud of Garble’s progress that she had treated him to a high tea. It was a posh enough place that had you check your cloaks and coats.

“If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what will,” Spike mumbled to himself.

“I know what will,” a familiar voice spat behind his ear. Before Spike could react, he was shoved roughly into the wall of the coat room, his arm pinned behind his back.

“Argh!” Spike grunted painfully, trying to free his arm but was unsuccessful against his surprise attacker. “Let me go!” he growled.

“What a pathetic twerp!” he heard Garble sneer in his ear. “You think I’m stupid? You don't think I didn’t notice you leaving all these presents for Rarity?” He heard Garble chuckle. “A dragon falling for a pony. What a failure to our species.”

“Hey!” Spike hollered, trying to kick him. “You leave Rarity out of this! You’re taking advantage of her!”

Garble snickered. “She and I have an arrangement. One that I don’t intend to keep once I get all her gems. Especially that juicy one around her neck. I don’t see gems like that often and by tonight, it’s all mine. Heck, I might even save a bite or two for that hot piece of tail running the ice cream stand. Rarity will give that to me in a second if she thinks it will help her get her shop.”

“Don’t you touch that necklace! She’ll never give it to you in a million years even if she is in heat!” Spike’s blood ran cold as soon as the words left his mouth. He couldn’t stop himself.

Garble whistled. “Wait, wait, wait. Rarity’s in heat? That would explain that odd smell she’s been giving off. I thought it was just brimstone.” Garble tossed Spike to the ground. “I actually thought she was just supposed to be pretty by the way all those males looked at her while she dragged me around on her stupid errands...but I guess even plain ponies look good in heat eh?”

Garble let out a mischievous giggle and kicked Spike in the ribs when he attempted to rise to his feet. He leaned in close to the groaning Spike. “Oh you little squirt, you’ve just made my night so much more interesting.”

“What are you talking about?” Spike demanded, getting to his knees with some difficulty.

“You think I forgot about your guys’ prank with the Phoenix eggs? Do you know how long it took for me to finally get away from those birds? How much bird poop I had to scrape and scratch off all my scales? Now I have a chance to pay you back.”

Spike’s mind was spinning as he tried to steady himself. Garble brought his head closer to Spike’s. “Tonight, I’m going to take the most important thing away from both of you tonight.”

Spike shook his head. “What? Important thing? What are you…” Realization dawned on Spike and he tensed up. “You wouldn’t dare…”

Garble laughed. “I think I might even wear her pretty little necklace while I ride her pretty little pony self tonight. I bet she likes to be taken from behind...like a diamond dog,” he slithered.

Spike quickly shot up and charged Garble. “Don’t you dare touch her!” He threatened.

Garble was anticipating this move, however, and seized the charging Spike by the throat. “I should really thank you, Spikey Wikey. If it wasn’t for your fireball earlier and these presents you’ve been leaving, I don’t think I would have been able to this close to Rarity. I’ll make sure to think of you tonight when she’s screaming my name.”

“You bast-!” Spike swore before Garble suckerpunched him in the face.

⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽⦽

“I came to a bit later but they had already left,” Spike concluded bitterly.

“Wow. You really might have been better off if you had done nothing.”

“Thanks for rubbing it in. Can I get another one of these?”

“Uh, you sure kid? You’ve had five already.”

Spike blinked in surprise. I have? He looked in front of him and realized there were indeed 5 empty pint glasses sitting in front of him. “Wha-what? But I only paid for one?” he tried to reason.

“Well yeah, but that fella over there has been buying you refills,” the bartender gestured to the other end of the bar. “Before you came in, I thought he was the weirdest patron I was going to have today, but you definitely came in a close second.”

Spike looked over at the other figure and humpfed. “Oh, it’s you. Come here to rub it in how I can’t do anything right, huh Discord?” Spike asked irritably.

Discord stood up from his bar stool, swaying slightly. “N-not exactly,” the draconequus mumbled. Spike looked at him in disbelieving suspicion until he spotted Discord’s lion paw. The paw had been wrapped in a bandage. There appeared to be dried blood on it.

“Discord...what happened to your hand?”

“Total mis-hic-misunderstanding.”

“Discord?!”

“It was consensual.”

“What did you do?!” Spike demanded.

“Sssshhhhh” Discord shushed Spike, attempting to place one of his talons on Spike’s lips but missed completely and stabbed Spike in his sore eye. “I-i’ll tell you if you-hic-you stop yelling about your eyes,” Discord argued as Spike screamed in pain, “Another round! And seriously stop screaming. You sound like a filly!”