Top Hats & Metal Wings

Back at Darius’s lair, after Stopping Tellis, Michael, and Bryan from just blundering outside like a bunch of stooges, he told them why two aliens and a cyberpony running around town at night shouting about comets was a bad idea, which wasn’t hard. He did tell them about the oppressive Overwatch to even further his point about going out being a poor decision.

“He’s got a point, you know, that Overwatch sounds like nasty cheese, Tellis. We might want listen to Darry and lay low until we can find a more inconspicuous way to move around ” Bryan said to a grumpy, magically levitating Tellis who was muttering to himself about how he ‘couldn’t do no nothin in the alternate universe’.

Darius scoffed at Tellis’s constant misuse of proper Equestrian and dropped him to the ground with a sigh.

“Enough with the Tellis dropping already! It’s like it’s the universal pastime of freaking unicorns to violently drop me!” Tellis complained as he soothed his right flank with his good hoof.

“Aw, suck it up, Tellis. I thought pegasai were supposed to be tough!” Michael called out as he walked over towards the living room.

“Wait, what? How’d ya know that I’m a pegasus!?” A very confused Argonis asked the human.

Tellis deadpanned towards the green unicorn ‘scientist’ wearing goggles and a sheepish expression on his face. He chuckled a bit and rubbed the back of his long  purple highlighted charcoal mane with his hoof as he said, “Well my good sir, I used a device on you to determine if you had any broken bones and-“

Tellis reared up and screamed at the green bastard, I mean unicorn, “You x-rayed me!? Tell me I had lead barding on or something when you did it! Jumping Luna wearing moon boots!! If I get a tumor, your ass is mine, you hear me!? I’m talking about the full Argonis torture experience! Rainbow-boarding, driving nails into a bat, studding the nails with diamonds, and then beating you with it! Making you listen to a monologue by Trixie- “

“Good goddesses, Mr. Argonis! Such violent actions will not be necessary at all! My machine only gave you enough radiation to make you a little bit warmer! It would have taken weeks, even months of exposure from such a weak source to do any real damage!” Darius moved his goggles away from his eyes, showing that they were a deep midnight blue that contrasted quite beautifully against his bright green coat. They were awfully bloodshot, most likely from staring at monitors for far too long and not getting enough sleep  (Ahem, hint hint?)

Bryan took the time to look away from his dying smartphone and said, “It looks like somepony doesn’t take too kindly to being irradiated.”

“Damn straight.” Tellis crossed his forelegs as he leaned up against a large pipe near the exit and huffed.

Darius sighed yet again and headed over to the living room to cash in on the Q and A Michael owed him. When he reached it, he spotted Michael examining his radio that was resting on top . He seemed to be  very fascinated by the common device and Darius made a rather poor attempt at humor, “You have tiny cameras where you come from, but no radios?” Darius chuckled somewhat haughtily at his own joke.

Michael’s gaze was torn away from the odd looking radio as he said, “What? Oh, no we got radios, but we don’t have ones that look like this thing here. I can’t even find a way to turn it on…” Michael picked the human-head sized brass colored box up and turned it over in his hands, dials, levers and tubes shining in the light, but no obvious way to activate it revealed itself to him. Michael furrowed his brow, sat down on Darius’s red couch and said without looking at the unicorn, “How do you turn this thing on? Electronics back home had buttons or switches or whatever that were labeled with the word ‘power’ or this little symbol,” Michael drew Earth’s universal symbol for power, a circle with the line through half of it, in the air with his index finger, “I can’t find that, so I’m totally lost. I’m pathetic…”

Darius took the radio from Michael with his magic and explained to him, “Don’t feel bad friend, this is a special radio, one I made myself. Only I can operate it by doing this,” A circle appeared on a previously seamless panel and a cylinder covered in strange markings extended out from the device, Darius turned it clockwise three times, and once counterclockwise. He then pushed the long button back into the radio. It powered on with a soft crackling sound and blue lights lit up all over the device.

Michael asked Darius, who was fiddling with the station dial, “Quick question, why do you have your own personal private no-one-can-turn-it-on-but-me radio?”

“Because it gets this channel,” Darius pulled his head away from the radio and set it on his coffee tableA gruff, commanding voice shouted from inside the radio, “-ind whatever the hay that was, and pronto! I thought the Overwatch was supposed to be watching over the city! If the Boss finds out we couldn’t find this ‘unnatural arcane disturbance’, it’ll be our asses! Now get out there, GO, GO,GO!!!”

“It seems like they’re looking for you fellows. Good thing most of the Overwatch is completely incompetent, or you would have been snatched up while you were still on my roof! By the way, you owe me for destroying my invention.”

“We’ll get to that later, Darius, I promise.”

“Yes, speaking of ‘getting to that later’, I do believe that you said you would answer my questions earlier.”

“Oh yeah…”

Darius proceeded to ask Michael many questions, mainly ones about his homeland and culture. He told the unicorn about how humans were omnivores, it was a fact of life. Darius was a scientist, he could handle it. Besides, there were omnivores and carnivores in Equestria as well. For example Diamond dogs. Michael didn’t go into detail about exactly where he lived, because West Virginia isn’t exactly a shining beacon of kindness and tolerance for all of humanity. He also told him about how the technology from his world wasn’t that much more advanced than what he’s seen so far, in fact some of it might be more advanced in certain areas while magical devices from this dimension trumps some from back home.  Darius then asked him about what he and his friend were wearing, and Michael looked at what he currently had on. He had his black “Powered by Redstone” shirt, his hand-me-down desert camo fatigues and his new black Nike Airs.

Michael looked back up and said, “Well, my shirt is a reference to a game played back in my homeland, what it is isn’t important and redstone isn’t a real thing. the pants are for blending into a desert setting so you would be harder to spot by… desert bandits, yeah. They were given to me by my mother to save money when I grew big enough that they fit me, I usually wear them when I mow grass or when I’m tired of wearing denim. For my shoes, human feet are soft and vulnerable unless you condition them by walking on pointy gravel for years or something, so we generally wear some kind of protective covering for them. This particular type of shoe has a lot of rubber ridges that grip the ground for running vast distances without expending much energy. They also look sexy. The white check thing is a brand logo for a sports ware company called Nike.”

“Neigh-key?”

“NIGH-key. I think the name and the brand logo have something to do with one of my world’s ancient civilizations, some kind of speed goddess or some other garbage.”

Michael pulled his left shoe off and then his sock, revealing five toes of varying sizes, to which Darius replied, “Astonishing, if I’m right that makes 20 digits! You’re not hiding wings and a tail underneath those clothes, are you?”

“Hahaha, I wish!”

“Indeed, so about your friend with the glasses… why does he wear clothing with faces on them?”

Michael put his sock and shoe back on and answered, “Oh, him? He really likes cookie monster.”

“What kind of monster?”

“Cookie monster, he’s a character from… children’s tales. I think he teaches numbers or letters or something, I don’t know. But all most people remember him by his obsession with cookies, and Bryan really, really likes him. He has several cookie monster shirts, a cookie monster bag, cookie monster gloves… and that’s just the stuff I’ve seen him wear to school!” Michael explained to the curious unicorn.

(This isn’t an exaggeration at all; he seriously does have all of this)

“So anyways, the white cargo shorts he’s wearing… I guess you can put a lot of small things in them, and they won’t make you too hot in the summer. His shoes, well, I don’t really look at other people’s shoes unless they go ‘hey look at my shoes! I got new shoes’ and even then… so I don’t know what brand they are. But that’s irrelevant, shoes are shoes and they protect your feet.” Michael continued to ramble about what he and Bryan were wearing.

Darius almost couldn’t take it anymore, his scientific curiosity was about to be outweighed by how much Michael was talking, and he was almost half as bad as a certain pink pony! Darius cleared his throat loudly to get Michael’s attention and said, “My, my, you really like to talk, don’t you?”

Michael stood up from the red pony couch and said, “Well, where I live, I don’t really have anyone to talk to except for Bryan and he lives at a completely different town! So it all just builds up! I’ll run out of steam eventually and I won’t want to talk to anyone or pony for a while.”

Please for the love of the princesses, run out of steam soon!

“I don’t see that happening anytime soon, I mean, I’m meeting a sapient race of colorful, magical ponies in a world of fantastic and possibly terrible technology! If only I brought a camera, I’m sure Bryan’s killed his by now so we can’t take any more pictures. Are you done asking me things? Ooh goody! it’s my turn to ask questions! So what’s the name of this city? Is it the capital, or all cities here this huge? Where did all this metal come from? How long did it take-“ Michael continued to assault Dairus with his questions.

Luna baking moon pies, he may actually be as bad as Pinkie Pie! As long as he doesn’t start bounci-SERIOUSLY!?

Michael was channeling Pinkie Pie through all his thoughts and the next logical step was to hop around with joy! Yay for learning! Darius facehooved over and over again and let out the biggest sigh of them all.

I-<][-{[/%/]}-][>-I

In another part of Darius’s home.

“You’re a pony,” Bryan said matter-of-factly while pointing an index finger at Tellis, who was fooling around with one of Darius’s computers.

“Yeah, I know. You’ve said that like ten times.” Tellis said as he awkwardly typed out commands with one four-fingered hand and a hoof.

“So what are you doing, again?” Bryan asked Tellis as he peered over his shoulder and the lavender earth pegasus pushed him away from his personal space with a metal hand.

“Like I said… I’m trying to learn more about this place. Mainly, find a map of this city so we won’t be hopelessly lost when we eventually get separated from our friendly neighborhood ‘scientist’. I don’t normally plan this far ahead… or at all really. But come hell and high water I’m seeing that Comet is safe, sound, and back home with her friends, family and that one steamed carrot vendor who’s really nice and doesn’t charge that much!”

Tellis tapped on some more keys and a large 3D map of the city appeared on the green computer screen, “Go progress! So where are we…? Ponyville, eh? Luna , this city is huge, bigger than NPC! I don’t remember there being a huge lake being anywhere near here… Oh, you see that little blip on the big hill?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“That’s us, at ‘Ellistar Workshop” huh… is this map dynamic? Because I see at least 8 of those blimp things heading our way, that can’t be good at all.”

“You look like a girl.”

“Ughh…”

I-<][-{[/%/]}-][>-I

Darius was watching what Tellis was doing from a monitor that was linked to the other computer near the living room wall, and saw the Overwatch blimps going straight for his home. There was no doubt about it, they somehow knew they were thereHe ran a hoof through his charcoal mane and said,” I can’t believe this! They’re never this organized! We have to get out of here, now!”

Michael ripped the last of the duct tape off of his face and shouted, “The PAIN!! I don’t want to be put in jail, and I really don’t want to be dissected by crazy scientist ponies! Tellis, Bryan, pack your bags, we’re leaving!!”

“Okay buddy!”

“We’re way ahead of you, human!”

Darius pulled a saddlebag from underneath his loveseat with his magic and said defensively, “What? You don’t have bags packed full of supplies stashed all over your house in case of an Overwatch raid? Because I do. Come on, let’s go get Tweedle and Deedle, my ARC is waiting outside for us.”

The four meet up at the front door of the workshop and Darius unlocks 8 different locks at once with his magic.

“Jesus, Darry. Got enough locks there? Or do you need more?” Michael sarcastically asked the unicorn.

“And who, pray tell, is this Jesus?” Darius asked as he checked that his saddlebag was secure.

Michael waved his hands in front of his face and quickly said, “More important things. Running away now!”

The group ran outside and Darius points a hoof at a nearby alley next to the workshop. As they approached the ARC, Tellis spotted a terrified-looking homeless pony sitting on her haunches next to several trashcans and decided to mess with her. He gave his best Flint Easthoof scowl and said with a sinister tone while pointing a metal finger at her, “You didn’t see anything…” Tellis opened the door to the vehicle without looking away from the homeless pony and stumbled a bit as he went inside of it.

The Arcane Recreational Carriage looked like, well, a carriage. Except is was slightly smaller than a regular carriage even for pony standards, made completely out of that brassy metal that was everywhere, and had a big engine thing on the back with curved pipes that went out one side and fed back into the other. Darius yelled at Tellis to quit fooling around and the boys climbed in and awkwardly sat down on the seats designed for ponies. They didn’t have nearly enough leg room and the seat belts almost didn’t reach the buckles, but they were in.

Darius was attempting to start the ARC, but it wouldn’t cooperate, “Come on  … don’t give up on me now!”

“Well of course it isn’t starting, the whole concept of a perpetual steam engine doesn’t wor-“ Tellis was interrupted by the sound of the ARC’s engine powering up.

"You were saying my fine featherless friend?” Darius said as he put his goggles back over his dark blue eyes and pulled a lever near the steering wheel. The mechanized carriage pulled out of the alley with an initially loud humming from the PSE on the back and quieted down as they drove away from the workshop.

Bryan craned his neck to try and see if they had been spotted yet and said, “I can’t see any of those airship things, can you Michael?”

“Anope”

Darius looked back towards the humans, “Oh, they’re out there, all right. Most likely on the other side of some cloud where we can’t see them, but they are there I assure you.”

“So was driving away in your cart was a good idea?”

“Penelope isn’t a cart!” Darius angrily shouted at the insult-slinging pony, “And of course it was Tellis, this way we are much more mobile. Even though I’ve thought about it, my home cannot fly!”

“That would have been handy, hoofy, whatever it is here.” Michael continued to search the night skies in vain and Darius made a left turn down Changer’s Avenue.

“So, where are we going? I hope we get there soon, because I don’t know if you know this already, but not that inconspicuous even in my own world. We’re gonna get spotted.” Michael asked their driver.

Tellis used the glare from a passing magicical gas lamp to reflect light off his metal appendage at Michael’s face and said, “Least you ain’t part metal.”

“Pardon my Prantic, but are you bucking kidding me, my good sir? There were these monsterponies made out of ninety percent metal that were created by some crazy fool a few months ago running around the sewers! Before the Overwatch was given orders to enact marshal law, they went down there with I think it was thirty something odd soldiers armed to the teeth and only 12 came back out! I don’t think that they even got them all! Oh and to answer your question, Michael, we are going to Benedict’s Soda Parlor."

Tellis’s eyes lit up at the magic word, “Soda? Glorious, bubbly, sweet nectar? By the princesses Darius, floor it!”

“Tellis I will not endanger all our lives for a beverage!”

Bryan was thinking, usually that was somewhat of a bad thing, but not now. His knowledge of American history was dug out of a mental file cabinet in the back of the packed warehouse of his mind and it came to him. With grand amounts of sarcasm, Bryan said, “Wait, Benedict’s? Now that’s a name I could trust if my life depended on it! And it kind of does”

Darius looked back at Bryan, once again endangering them all with his reckless driving practices, and said, “Benny can be trusted, I assure yo-“

“We’re here!! Soooodaaaa!” Tellis jumped out of the ARC before it came to a complete stop and ran inside the soda parlor.

“He just can’t wait for his drink, can he? Come on you two, let’s catch up to him before he gets us all into more trouble than we are in,” Darius said as he exited his vehicle and motioned for the boys to follow him. The three fugitives passed a The Stare Security System poster as they enter the establishment. Inside, Tellis was upside down on the bar with a soda fountain dispensing cold, refreshing enjoyment directly into his gullet and a rather confused changeling barkeep was cleaning a glass with his chaotic magic.

“Darry! This guy with you?” Benny pointed the rag he was cleaning the glass with towards the unicorn and the two humans entered behind him through the double doors, “Woah! Something you cooked up in that lab of yours Darry?”

“I’m an engineer, not a biologist Benny. These are just some friends from a faraway land. And yes he’s with me. I sincerely apologize for his behavior, and will pay for any damages he may have caused.”

The mottled black alicorn-like creature with pupil-less blue eyes, a smooth curved horn, ragged insectoid wings poking out from some kind of dark blue vest, and holes all over his legs said,  “Ya don’t need to be sorry about nothing! This guy literally loves his sodie pop, I haven’t felt this kind of boost since my neighbors were havin that affair!”

Tellis stopped shooting the sweet berry-flavored soft drink from the flexible hose the tap was attached to into his mouth and said, “Whoa, Mottled Moe, Too much information!”

Benny brought a holey hoof down near Tellis’s head, leaned up close to him and said with a rather threatening tone, “Right. Since I own this place and are partaking in my product, I can be as raunchy as I want! I hope you got the bits to pay for said product, Tincolt, ‘cause if you don’t-”

Several paper wrapped cylinders of bits fall out of a compartment in Tellis’s metal hoof, “Here you go, this should be more than enough for me and my friends.” Who needs burlap sacks and wallets when you’ve got Time Lord technology at the tips of your hooves?

The changeling’s blue eyes widened slightly at the cash put before him, clearly money was no object to this pony. Tellis waved his now lighter hoof around and said, “I can’t think of a clever one-liner right now, more soda!”

Darius and the boys were sitting at a booth in a far corner of the parlor, planning on what to do from here on to try and keep one step ahead of the Overwatch. “As much as it pains me to say this, we’ll have to go find Pinkie Pie for help. She’s one of the few good ponies in the Overwatch. Actually cares about this city and its people, and does her best to help those in need, like us for instance.”

Michael and Bryan were snacking on some free peanuts, ‘cause free is free. Bryan said with a mouthful of legumes, “She sounds nice.”

“She is, but she’s friends with that insufferable Twilight, and she talks way too much. At least your friend here eventually stops!”

“I resent that.”

“Oh you’ll get over it.”

Darius leaned in a bit closer to the boys and lowered his voice slightly, “But anyways, it’s a good thing that the Overwatch doesn’t have Pinkie lead their search parties. It is literally impossible to escape her if she wants to find you, and word is that it works the other way around.”

Michael said while twiddling a peanut shell between his fingers, “I like the way you think, Darius, but there’s one thing bothering me.”

“What’s that?”

“Tellis’s goddaughter, how are we going to find her? She could be anywhere, and I think Tellis is over there drowning his worries in sugar.”

“Don you worry about that, we’ll find her. Once we get to Pinkie, we can ask her to help us track her down, I’m sure of it.You boys want something to drink? Tellis seems to be paying for all of us.” Darius motioned a hoof over towards where Tellis was and the pile of coins Benny had unwrapped. The flightless bird slammed down a now empty root beer mug and wiped the froth away from his face with a hoof. Where does he put it all?

Michael looked back towards Darius and said, “Strawberry for me, is he’s got it. Bryan, orange? No… grape for you.”

Bryan simply nodded his head in agreement and ate some more peanuts from the seemingly endless reserve in the middle of the table.

Darius went off to order the drinks from Benny, and when he was out of earshot Bryan anxiously said to Michael, “Dude, that Benny freak is totally going to sell us out.”

“I know, but as long as we can see him, we’re safe. As soon as he disappears or something, so will us. It’s probably better if we just tell Tellis as soon as we can, Darry trusts that guy too much to think he’s up to no good.”

“Shh, he’s coming back.”

“Gentlemen, I have returned. Here’s your strawberry, and your grape.” Darius passed out the glasses full of the colored fizzy drinks with his magic and the boys took their respective glass in hand. Darius sat down in the booth while levitating his green bottle of sparkling apple juice up to his mouth. He lowered the bottle to see Michael examining his drink instead of chugging it down like his friend was.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Did I get the wrong drink?”

“What? Oh nothin.” Michael stopped attempting to see if Benny somehow drugged his soda and drank the red potion down. It was a bit different than the corn syrup/phosphoric acid radioactive sludge that he was used to. It tasted lighter somehow, and it didn’t feel like it was dissolving his teeth. He wiped his mouth with a sleeve and looked back over to the bar Tellis was at, he was talking to Benny. Michael really wanted to know what they were talking about and he needed to tell Tellis about his suspicions, so he grabbed the bit Bryan was spinning on the table, stood up and said, “We need some music, I’m goin to the Jukebox.”

Michael walked away from the two confused sapient beings and over to the jukebox, he inserted the coin into the machine and looked at the strange symbols. They vaguely looked like English letters, but they were extremely warped and looked like pony-related items,. The first symbol barely represented an A, so he pushed that. On the other end of the jukebox controls, there was a row of nine buttons, most likely one through nine. He pushed where he assumed the one and seven buttons would be located and a calm song began to play. Even though this was a different universe, somehow they found a way to put their music here, because they can, those magnificent bastards of School of Seven Bells

School of Seven Bells, Prince of Peace begins to play.

Michael could clearly hear what Tellis and Benny were saying now, but found it hard to concentrate while listening to one of his favorite bands who he really didn't care how their music got here.

“And that’s why there are holes in my legs.” Benny proudly displayed his grotesque, mangled forelegs as Michael shuddered.

“Huh, I was wrong…”Tellis attempted to shoot some more soda into his body, but nothing came out of the tap, “Aww, it’s broken.”

“Would you look at that, outta soda water. Lemme get another barrel from the back,” Benny turned about and trotted through a door leading to the back rooms.

Michael was probably just being extremely paranoid, but he ran over to Tellis and vaulted over the bar, because vaulting over things is fun and cool.

“What are you- ohhhh…” Tellis watched Michael lift up the unscrewed end of the hose for the soda tap.

“Wanna bet he ain’t getting that water? I’ll let the others know, you handle our deceptive friend.”

“Why do I gotta do that?”

“Do I look like I can do any kind of damage? I’m a rambler, not a fighter, and you seem like the type that’s won a lot of fights Tellis.”

“Well I’m not one to brag about that sort of thing…”

“Tellis, a little less conversation, a little more action please. We ain’t got the time to waste, go!”

“Right.”

Tellis gets off his stool, walks over to the bar door at the far end of the bar, opens it, and proceeds to the back rooms. Before he got out of earshot, he heard Darius arguing with Michael and demanding an explanation for his behavior. Damn elitists, they’re gonna be the end of the world, like in Comet’s Fallout books. He shouldn’t let her read those types of stories, but she isn’t a little filly. They seem to take her mind off of other things, like her mother… Tellis continued to walk down the dark hallway, and he heard a certain changeling talking on an old Victorian-era phone inside a brightly lit storeroom full of large barrels. Tellis went into full stealth mode and crouched down, keeping as much weight off of his replacement hoof as possible and staying in the dark, “Hey, is this the Overwatch hotline? Yeah, I gots some eh…interestin characters here you might wanna check out. Real freaks, pale, pretty much hairless, and walkin around on two legs! Oh and that Darius Ellistar cat is here too, what’s the bounty on him again? Ooh…”

Yep, he’s definitely turning us in, well at least those three other guys, the greedy bastard.

That would be irrelevant because they would definitely take Tellis away to jail with the others when he beats the living hell out of as many of the fetchers as possible defending his new friends.

“So yeah, I’m at Benedict’s Soda Parlor at Changer’s Avenue, 1274. Yes. Uh huh. So when are you guys getting here sos I know how long to-“

“You’re real greedy, you know that?”

“Wha?”

Tellis gave a right uppercut to Benny’s spleen, but Tellis’s love for soda has toughened Benny up, but not enough to take a nasty metal left hook square in the jaw. A jagged fang flies up in the air with a small spatter of neon green blood as Benny drops to the floor, unconscious. It was so nice not having the Doctor around constantly telling him, “Tellis, you can’t just punch all your problems in the face! Use your words!”

Tellis picks up the phone from the wooden floor and holds it up to his ear.

“Mr. Benedict? Are you there?”

“No, but Mr. Argonis is.” Tellis slammed the phone into its base, breaking it off and tearing the cable connected to it away. He dropped it out of his metal hand and retracted his fingers. He walked out of the storeroom back towards the parlor. He reached the others and wiped the changeling blood off his hoof with the glass cleaning rag.

Darius saw his friend’s blood on the lavender pony’s hoof, “Tellis! Tell me you didn’t…”

“I only punched the bastard out, don’t worry about him. He’ll wake up with a nasty headache and a bunch of pissed off Overwatch asking him all sorts of questions, though.” Tellis stole a bottle of cola from a shelf and said, “Thanks Benny, least you could do.”

“You mean he really betrayed us? Well, Benny was always greedy and not the most loyal creature… I guess I should have expected this, huh?.”

Tellis threw the empty bottle aside and said, “Ya think? Michael, are we ready to go?”

“Yeah. Let’s get out of here before those butthurt Overwatch cat bastards bust in and take us all downtown.”

I-<][-{[/%/]}-][>-I

Earlier, right about when the boys arrive at the parlor, a loud banging was heard from Twilight’s front door.

“Oh no, they’re here.” Fluttershy was hiding under the living room coffee table, futilely attempting to build a sentry gun out of quills and an inkwell.

“Comet, you should hide. Go to my bathroom, it’s on the way to the kitchen in the hallway. Lock the door and don’t come out until I say so.”

“Okay Twilight,” Comet walked over to the entrance of the hallway, turned her head back towards the others, and said, “I hope you know what you’re doing...” She went over to the bathroom and went inside.

“Fluttershy, get out from under there, I’m going to need you to be calm for this,” She moved the coffee table away from her friend, a small tripod of quills and an inkwell with a plastic straw attached to it was turning back and forth, sweeping the area for hostiles.

“How many of those targeting gems do you have on you? Come on, get up.” whoever was at the door, most likely some Overwatch flunky, sounded like they were trying to beat it down started yelling, “Twilight! I know you’re in there! Open up!”

“Oh please let it be anypony but her,” Twilight opened her front door with a fake yawn, “Rainbow Dash, what are you doing here? its two in the morning.”

The blue pegasus with Technicolor hair who was wearing a midnight black military-like suit and a military officer’s hat pushed her way past her friend, “You know why I’m here, Twilight.”

Twilight was sure she had been made, “I d-do?”

“Yeah! You invited Fluttershy over for your sleepover and not me! What gives?”

“Wait, what do you mean sleepover? I thought you were staying with Pinkie.”

She “Well she had some boring Watch stuff to do with some new recruits. I think their names were Swift Rain and some weird guy. His name started with a T or something, I didn’t stick around to remember Anyways, she mentioned that you invited Fluttershy over to your house for a sleepover.”

“Yes, this is definitely a sleepover! I’m sorry for not inviting you Rainbow, consider this an official invitation.”

“That’s more like it!” She took her hat off and put it on a nearby coat/hat rack.

“So, you’re not here for anything else?”

“No, why would I be? I’m off duty, my shift finally ended like twenty minutes ago. Strange times, eh? Wait a second, Twilight? Are you hiding something from me?”

“Me? Pshaw, never. Why would I do that, Rainbow?” Twilight’s face twisted into an unconvincing smile.

With raised eyebrow and a disbelieving look, Rainbow sarcastically said, “Uh huh, I totally believe you. Fluttershy!”

The golden pegasus jumped up in her seat, “Eep!”

“What’s goin on?”

“N-nothing.”

“Really? Nothing? I doubt that, you better tell what you guys are hiding from me right now.” Rainbow demanded right to Fluttershy’s face.

Fluttershy pointed  a shaky hoof towards Twilight’s hallway and muttered, “Th-the bathroom.”

“Fluttershy!” Twilight yelled at her friend for breaking so easily under pressure, especially after attending that assertiveness seminar several weeks ago.

“I’m so sorry Twilight, I hope you’ll forgive me” Fluttershy meekly apologized while looking down at the floor.

Rainbow Dash headed over towards the bathroom, but suddenly stopped, “Hey, put me down Twi! Why don’t you guys want me to see whats in there? Put me down!”

“Rainbow, promise you won’t freak out.”

“Why?”

“Just promise.”

Rainbow Dash sighed and promised she wouldn’t freak out at whatever it was they were about to reveal and Twilight set her friend down on the ground.

“Comet! It’s okay, you can come out now. We’ve got somepony we would like for you to meet.” Twilight called out to Rainbow’s descendant from an alternate timeline.

“Wait, Twilight, who are you- BY CELESTIA’S MANE!!”

Comet didn’t know what to say, so she just waved a hoof and smiled a bit.

“Twilight, please tell me you didn’t clone me or something.”

“Hey, I am not you! I am Comet Jinx Dash, not Rainbow Dash! I didn’t ask to look like you, and I wish I didn’t! It’s caused me a lot of hell over the years and I’m sick of it!”

“Comet, calm down!” Twilight called out as she stepped in front of Rainbow.

The Not-Really-The-Only-Rainbow-Dash moved around Twilight so she could see Comet and apologized, “I’m sorry kid, but you do kinda look like me, a little.”

Comet sighed and said with a much calmer tone, “My mom didn’t, nopony knew why; I guess it’s recessive or something. Everyone was real surprised when I was born, I’ll tell ya. The real problems started when I woke up one day with the exact same cutie mark as my grandma, and then everypony and their mother was pressuring me to do a sonic rainboom! It was always ‘Hey Comet, do a rainboom, do a rainboom! Why can’t ya do a rainboom Comet? Huh? Why not?’ I got sick of it real quick.”

“Wait, grandma!?”

Fluttershy had come over from the couch. Nopony had noticed her, as per usual. So they were all slightly startled when she said, “Don’t worry, Rainbow, she’s from some kind of alternate timeline or universe or something. We aren’t sure”

“So the universe won’t explode or something if I touch her?” Rainbow asked as she pointed a hoof towards Comet.

“No, it won’t, and why would it?” Twilight asked the blue pegasus, clearly somepony hasn’t been reading up on their science fiction.

“I uh… well… shut up!” Rainbow Dash balked at Twilight.

A few minutes later, they were all talking in Twilight’s living room, asking Comet questions about New Ponyville, like, “Why is it ‘new’ Ponyville? What happened to the old one?”

Comet told them about how mercenaries sent by The Lost Ones tracked Tellis down when he was separated from the Doctor for several years then it was the year 1012CR. She told them that It was in the history books that crazy, bloodthirsty marauders with a lot of explosives suddenly and violently destroyed Ponyville, about how a mysterious purple pony rescued a whole bunch of ponies by getting them on a train and escaping. She told them how about four years after that, Ponyville started to rebuild, and not back into a weak little village, no. it was rebuilt into a large city, one that would withstand attacks if anything or anypony dared to. Backed by the royal treasury, big, thick walls rose to protect the young city, and it grew more massive by the year. Most of the NPC universe’s Elements of Harmony moved back home to Ponyville. Except for Fluttershy, who was working at an animal hospital at the time and couldn’t bear to leave all those sick animals, and Applejack, who had responsibilities in Appleoosa. Besides, most of Sweet Apple Acres was destroyed during the sacking of Ponyville, And Granny Smith died during that terrible day, so there wasn’t much to return to. Comet then explain to them who the Doctor was based on her godfather’s fantastic tales of his grand adventures with him and how he fit into the whole story.

Twilight almost started asphyxiating on her tea, “That’s impossible, there’s no such thing as a time machine!”

“Actually, Tellis told me it’s more like a time spaceship.”

“You can’t be serious, Comet. I’m sure he’s just making that all up.” Twilight stubbornly denied.

“I don’t think Tellis would like it if he hears that you’ve been calling him a liar.”

“Well it’s just a little bit hard to believe Comet. I mean traveling through time and space?”

“Believe it or not, it happened. Tellis carries his birth certificate around with him in his jacket to prove he was born in 963 to everypony. He says stuff old-timers say all the time, and he tells these stories about really old places like he was actually there!  He doesn’t like talking about the ruins of Jerusaddle, though…”

Twilight pondered for a moment, and then said, “Wasn’t Jerusaddle destroyed in a massive pyroclastic flow?”

“Tellis says that isn’t exactly what happened.”

“Well then what did happen?”

“I said he doesn’t like talking about it, what makes you think I know what really happened if one of the only surviving witnesses won’t speak up?”

“Point taken.”

After seventeen minutes, eleven point forty-six seconds of idle chatter and moments of awkward silence, Comet remembered something Rainbow said earlier, “Wait a second! Swift Rain? Tellis once told me about when he was living in Cloudsdale, he had a friend with that name! Wanna bet that’s the same pony?”

Rainbow Dash shrugged and said “Maybe, I don’t know. Probably.”

“So logically, that pony with the name starting with a T must be…”

“By the princesses, another Tellis, what’r we gonna do!?” Comet looked genuinely worried.

“Wait just a minute, I thought he was born in ‘63? Most new recruits are pretty young. I think I would have noticed if they were both like 50-something years old!”

“Well, this is a different place than where she’s from, Rainbow. They might have been born at some different time for all we know, and they definitely would have had different experiences here from what Comet’s been telling us.” Fluttershy theorized. What? Just because she doesn’t talk much, that doesn’t make her a dummy! Plus she’s an engineer/gunsmith with some medical training for crying out loud!

"You might be right, but wherever your Tellis is, Comet, I pray to the princesses that he's okay"