Sacrifice: Trixie's Lament

It was the same room every time. Did monotony exist solely to annoy her? She’d been seeing the same counselor for the past two years and by now she had been hoping he would have done something different to it. But no, it was untouched by the grace that is variety. She frowned more at this revelation and her sullen eyes stared blankly at the wall. The walls were a bland white and just as barren, with the exception of a framed certification just above the only desk in the room.

Rarity would cry at this place, Trixie thought to herself. Just thinking of Rarity reminded her of why she was seeking professional help, so she kept herself occupied by looking around some more. And that didn’t help the pit of despair she felt in her gut.

The carpeted floor was dark gray and reminded her of a cumulonimbus cloud. That didn’t help distract her at all. Instead, it only pulled her back into a distant memory.

From it, Trixie recalled only a stormy night where she had been caught up in the violent winds that came from out of nowhere and twirled her about like a ragdoll.

After that, everything went black and when she came to, Trixie saw the brightest hues of red, orange, and yellow peering down at her. Rainbow Dash. Trixie remembered.

Trixie’s eyes then fell upon an object that stole away all of her undivided attention.

And that… I miss, she thought next as her eyes focused on the desk and chair behind her therapist. It was an oak wood desk and it had seen better days than it did now. Its top was cluttered with manilla folders, loose papers, & makeshift paperweights, and one small lamp with a chair to sit in. Next to that was the only door into and out of the room, and behind her, a single four-pane window that overlooked a small piece of Manehatten.

When Trixie finally returned her focus to her psychiatrist, she saw he had stopped taking notes a while ago and now just waited patiently for her, wearing only a kind smile. As it finally sunk in with her, Trixie’s nonchalant attitude cracked. Although he was a middle-aged stallion twice her age with combed-over blonde hair wearing a white button-up shirt, a professional composure and a heart warming smile, Trixie saw somepony else. For a split second she saw a beautiful yellow cascaded by a cotton candy pink mane and big, friendly green eyes staring right back at her.

Fluttershy? Trixie thought momentarily before Dr. Stim’s voice brought her back, causing her to shake her head and look down, pulling her wizard’s hat down over her face. Trixie did this partly to hide herself from the vision, and partly to cover up the single tear she shed.

“Trixie?” Dr. Stim spoke softly after seeing the mare hide her face. He was half expecting Trixie to lash out again and correct him, but when she didn’t and instead simply raised her head enough for him to see her eyes, he saw their glossy coating and knew she was trying not to cry.

“Trixie must apologize,” she whispered to him with a sniffle at the end. “But right now it is The Alone and Despaired Trixie,” she said, now sniffling more as tears fell silently. Trixie could have sworn she’d just seen a familiar country mare behind him. Applejack, Trixie thought.

“It is all right,” he assured, “Tell me, Trixie, why are you alone and in despair?”

Trixie frowned as the answer shot itself at her like a Pegasus-powered slingshot. “Trixie lost her reason for smiling,” was all Trixie said before her stoic façade came tumbling down as she saw her light’s face flash before her eyes--those vibrant purple hues staring right back at her with a bright smile. Trixie felt more tears falling now.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Dr. Stim asked curiously but carefully.

“It was five years ago…” Trixie mumbled, averting her gaze as her eyes became water fountains, springing tears forth when she had already shed as many as she thought she could earlier.

* * *

Five Years Ago

As if nothing else bad could happen after Trixie had the shock of her life to date with Twilight Sparkle revealing that she had ascended to Alicornhood, it did. Suddenly the sunny day in Ponyville seemed to fall dark & gloomy for the show mare known only as Trixie.

After having explained herself to six particular mares she took the time to catch her breath. Eyes stared down on her afterward. All Trixie had done was come to Ponyville—in peace!—and asked if Twilight and her friends might help her in becoming a better mare, which meant they had to teach her the meaning of friendship.

No problem at all, right? Wrong, and Trixie felt like she was being laughed at. In return to her words, they stared at her with disbelief. Either way, Trixie felt she was now uncomfortable. Very, very uncomfortable.

She felt mocked when the cyan Pegasus known only as Rainbow Dash was wiping tears from her eyes with one hoof, pointing at Trixie with the other, and her wings buzzing away; keeping her suspended two-feet above the ground as she tried to speak but couldn’t get enough breath to do so.

“You dare mock the Great and Powerful Trixie?” was all Trixie could say to the mare before averting her gaze to the other five mares, each quiet but judging her in silence.

“Mock?” Rainbow said before breaking out into another laughing fit. “Who said I was mocking you?”

“Now wait jus’ a minute, Trixie,” Applejack butted in, grabbing Rainbow Dash’s prismatic tail and pulling down on it. Hard. “We’re jus’ tryna’ figure out whatcha mean.” she explained to the traveling show mare.

Rarity and Spike nodded with Applejack’s statement. “Nopony’s mocking you, darling. We’re just…” Rarity held her hoof to her mouth and shifted her eyes as she fumbled with her words. “…outwardly expressing our take on first impressions.”

“Yeah!” shouted Pinkie Pie, quickly jumping up into Trixie’s personal space. “So tell us again why you want to change!”

Trixie pushed Pinkie Pie back with her forehooves, yelling as she did. “Get out of my face!”

Pinkie Pie fell back onto her plot with an audible OOMPH! and immediately Rainbow Dash was up in Trixie’s face, angry and ready to fight, but Twilight acted quickly and pulled the Pegasus away with her magic.

“Hold on, Rainbow,” she said to her friend as she set her down. “Trixie didn’t incite or provoke. She was defending herself.” Twilight told Rainbow Dash with conviction.

“Wait--what?!” Rainbow scoffed, flailing her hooves in the air. “Did you just defend her?” she asked, pointing a hoof at Trixie accusingly.

“Trixie is as baffled as the loud-mouth mare is,” Trixie squeaked. Rainbow quickly shot daggers at her and was ready to rearrange her face for that comment. “But she does have a point. Trixie did say that.” Trixie confirmed.

“Trixie, it’s been two years since our last duel. You even asked me to accept your apology. Are you still holding something against me?” Twilight asked chiefly.

“Girls,” Fluttershy squeaked as she thought now might be a good time to intervene.

Trixie stepped back, aghast. “You would dare accuse Trixie of holding grudges?”

The mares and Spike all nodded in response. Trixie gasped. “How dare you! Trixie will have you know that she does not hold grudges.”

“Girls,” Fluttershy said again.

“Then what do you call it?” Rainbow snapped, afloat in midair again.

“Girls!” Fluttershy finally shrieked, making herself known as she hovered between Twilight and Trixie. “Thank you,” she quipped quietly as she reverted back to her shy self. All eyes fell upon the shy Pegasus and all mouths closed. “Why don’t we stop fighting and instead talk this out?” she suggested rather quietly. “And remember: Trixie did ask Twilight for forgiveness after she lost the Alicorn Amulet.” Fluttershy reminded her friends.

Applejack was the first to rally to her friend‘s fantastic idea. “Great idea, Sugarcube. Whaddaya think ‘bout that, Trixie?” she inquired next.

“Trixie supposes,” Trixie answered back, with a faint smile at Fluttershy’s defense of her from their last encounter.

“All right. Now that that’s settled,” Twilight let out a soft breath. “Trixie, what do you think we can do for you to set things straight?” she asked the showmare, looking to resolve the conflict peacefully.

“A duel!” Trixie exclaimed with fervor, letting her usual self show. A loud ‘what?’ roared through the air.

“Right now? Here?” Twilight said, blinking repeatedly.

“Woo! More magic poofy stuff!” Pinkie chimed in.

Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy all followed Twilight’s lead: bulging, blinking eyes and unhinged mouths while Rarity and Spike just reeled back as they tried to figure out what was up with Trixie and her need to end quarrels with violence.

“No, not right now,” Trixie corrected. “How about one month from today?” she offered up with a devious smile.

“Why in a month?” Twilight was confused now.

“To give you time to prepare for your imminent defeat, Princess.” Trixie said as she trotted away with a haughty laugh and left the Mane Six & Spike all in a stupor.

* * *

“Trixie should have known they were nothing more than full of themselves!” Trixie scoffed as she threw her hat onto the cot. “Bunch of neigh-sayers,” she carried on, removing her cape and staring at herself in the vanity mirror.

When Trixie usually looked into her mirror she’d always see herself, confident and unyielding, but for some reason this time that is not what she saw. “Not all of them, I suppose,” she told herself. “That Rainbow Dash is the neigh-sayer.” she corrected, slumping her shoulders and exhaling. This time she didn’t see herself at all; she saw the recent event that she was part of. Trixie huffed at the time she deemed had been wasted but then looked again.

For the rest of the day Trixie stayed in her new place of residence for the time being, Ponyville. Until she was disturbed by a loud knocking, that is. Trixie was awoken by that loud knocking. Groggy, she groaned and rolled over, pulling her pillow over her head, but when the knocking continued without end Trixie started to get annoyed. She pushed the ends of the pillow against her head more until she finally had had enough.

“Who knocks on the door of the Great and Powerful Trixie?!” she screamed out before getting out of bed and trotting over to her door. She pulled back the sliding window on the door and looked outside. What she saw made her gasp and slide it shut. A moment later the door was unlocked and Trixie opened it.

“And just what do you want?” she asked the overactive pink pony.

“Hi Trixie!” Pinkie Pie greeted back loudly.

Trixie cringed at the loud octave and rubbed her ear before clearing her throat to speak, her comment being one she would soon regret. “Trixie wants to know why you are wearing a party hat, have a rolled up paper-thing in your mouth, and have a banner around yourself that says,” Trixie stopped immediately, but before she could comprehend the situation in its entirety, she was thrown off-balance by the high-strung party pony known only as Pinkie Pie.

“It’s your ‘Welcome to Ponyville, Trixie!’ party!” Pinkie Pie exuberantly exclaimed.

After blinking a couple times and rubbing the back of her head that now hurt, Trixie watched as Pinkie Pie had somehow pulled out party poppers, popped them while exhaling air into her blowout party favor—that made a horrendously loud and obnoxious noise—and hopped around on one hoof, the other holding an air horn that was louder than herself ten times over.

“Trixie demands you stop all the noise!” Trixie shouted to Pinkie Pie. The pony did as commanded and now looked back at the mare in wonder.

“Do you not like parties?” Pinkie asked.

“No!” Trixie replied in irritation.

“Why not? Parties are fun!” Pinkie beamed at Trixie with the widest grin she could. And that was rather surreal for Trixie’s liking.

Pinkie Pie: the greatest contradiction she ever knew. One moment Pinkie Pie could be happy-go-lucky like she was now, but at the clop of a hoof, be the creepiest, most devilish creature this side of the Everfree.

“Trixie asks the loud-mouth pony why she is disturbing Trixie’s nap!”

“Oh? You were napping? I’m sorry! I’ll just come by when you’re awake then. Bye!” And like that, Pinkie Pie was off in a leap and a bound and a skip and a hop.

“Trixie is most confused.” was all Trixie could say to herself as she watched the pink mare seem to disappear just as fast as she had showed up. After she could pull her focus away from the empty doorway, she closed the door, locked it, then crawled back into her bed and looked at her clock. It was set to go off in three hours, which would mean when she woke up again it would be evening. “So much for sleep,” Trixie said, “The Groggy and Fatigued Trixie does not like to be disturbed.”

To Trixie, it felt like she had just closed her eyes and fell back asleep when she was yet again awoken to a knocking on her door. Instead of trying to sleep through it, she sat up with a scowl on her face and slipped out of bed, then trotted over to her door and opened it.

“Yes?” Trixie greeted with a scowl.

“Now is that any way to greet somepony, darling?” Rarity greeted back.

Trixie blinked and gave Rarity a confused look. “Trixie wants to know what you want. That hyperactive pony didn’t send you over here, did she?”

“Pinkie Pie? No darling, I assure you I came to your abode on my own,” Rarity answered back. “I thought I might stop by and offer you a cup of tea with Fluttershy and myself at her cottage,” she told Trixie, inviting the show mare to a gathering with an extended hoof.

“Trixie does not want any tea,” Trixie said at first without thinking, “especially not with you or that yellow pony who screams at the sight of a floating leaf.” She then slammed the door in Rarity’s face and glanced at the clock to see it had only been an hour since she’d slept.

“Well I never!” Rarity gasped, pulling her outstretched hoof against her chest. With aharumph she turned away and left. She knew Trixie to be a handful, her ego especially, but it had never occurred to her that Trixie could be so rude like she just was!

Trixie let out a soft sigh and fell against the door. She shook her head once and looked up. What had she just done? Here Trixie was, back in Ponyville for the first time since her defeat and forgiveness, looking to turn over a new leaf and she just slammed the door on the opportunity—twice! What was wrong with her? With another sigh Trixie turned around and opened the door. She looked outside and saw Rarity a good ways away. It didn’t matter though, Trixie had to do it. She had to, right?

“Rarity!”

Rarity stopped in mid-trot and looked behind her. She blinked and rubbed her eyes to see if she was seeing things. Surprisingly, she wasn’t. Her eyes actually were showing her that Trixie, complete with her hat & cape, was cantering towards her.

“Rarity,”—Trixie caught her breath after reaching the elegant pony—“Trixie wishes to accompany you to this tea gathering,” she said, hoping Rarity would still allow it.

“What do you say, darling?” Rarity asked Trixie in response, eyeing the mare closely. Trixie blinked and stared at her. “Well, darling? Don’t you have something to say to moi?”

“Trixie already said what she wanted to,” Trixie reciprocated. And then it dawned on Trixie by what Rarity was getting at. By the way Rarity stood idly by with patience told Trixie she was waiting for an apology.

Swallowing her pride like Pinkie Pie swallowing a whole cake, Trixie took a couple deep breaths, blinked twice more, and lowered her head and ears. “Trixie is sorry for yelling at you, Rarity,” Trixie mumbled sheepishly.

“Hm?” Rarity tilted her head at Trixie. Having seen that gesture, Trixie raised her head and sighed. Apologizing was not something Trixie was used to, nor ever did, so it felt weird to her to say those two simple words, but she did, again.

“Trixie is sorry for being rude.”

“Splendid! Apology accepted. Now come along, darling. Fluttershy does not like it when I am late.” Rarity informed Trixie as she trotted away.

The walk seemed to take forever with dead silence between the mares, and it was finally grating Trixie’s nerves, which could be shown by her grinding her teeth often. Noticing this beforehand, Rarity let it go on until they were in town square. She chose to engage in conversation then.

“So Trixie, tell me what you’ve done in this past year.”

Trixie came out of her stupor and stopped grinding her teeth against each other. “Trixie has been doing odd jobs to make a living ever since Trixie was driven out of town for a second time,” Trixie answered. Rarity should have known that would be her response.

“And what have you done since the rock farm?”

“Trixie has done shows on the road between Hoofington and Manehatten,” she told Rarity. “Trixie has even done shows in Zebrica!” she exclaimed.

“Ooh? How was it?” Rarity squealed. “Zebrica has some of the finest silks, I’ve heard,” she swooned.

Trixie’s eye twitched but before either of the mares knew, they were being hailed by a waving yellow pony. Rarity waved back as she and Trixie crossed over the short bridge and now stood in front of Fluttershy’s cottage.

“Oh, hello, Trixie,” Fluttershy greeted the unicorn, pushing her hair out from in front of her eye.

“Trixie is here for the tea she was promised. Where is it?” Trixie demanded.

Rarity and Fluttershy exchanged glances, then nodded. Fluttershy led them into her house and over to the couch. After shooing her favorite animal friend, Angel Bunny, off of it, Fluttershy walked into the kitchen to start the water then poked her head out, “Trixie, do you like chamomile?” she asked. “Or I have raspberry,” ‘Shy offered.

“Trixie will have whatever Rarity is having,” Trixie announced while settling down on the couch, while Rarity sat down on the cushion that Fluttershy had set down on the side of the table. Fluttershy’s head slipped back into the kitchen and left Rarity and Trixie alone once more.

A few minutes later, Fluttershy came out with a tray set with three teacups and a kettle, setting it down on the table before she poured each mare a cup and dropped in a packet of chamomile tea.

Rarity raised her cup and stirring spoon with her magic, the blue aura wrapping around the drink and utensil, stirring it to get the packet to release its flavoring before taking a small sip. “Mmm. This is delicious. Thank you, Fluttershy.” Rarity spoke up before looking over at Trixie.

Enveloped in her own pink magic, Trixie sniffed the tea curiously, stirring it once...twice...three times before allowing herself a taste. Rarity and Fluttershy gave Trixie a moment to get a taste of the tea and speak her mind on it. After that moment had passed by, Fluttershy spoke up first.

“So, um, Trixie. How is it?” Fluttershy asked her new guest.

Trixie took a second drink, then smacked her lips together as her facial expression told the two mares that she was undecided. “Trixie finds this taste peculiar,” she finally answered, “There’s a hint of orange or something then, uhh, vanilla? And honey. Trixie is amazed.”

Fluttershy smiled and clapped her hooves together in cheer. “Yay!”

“I do say, darling, I am glad you like it,” Rarity said to Trixie before taking another drink of her own, “Chamomile is great for relaxing; its smell and taste just do that to you.”

“Trixie likes it and does feel relaxed.” Trixie responded. Wait, why was she engaging in conversation with these two? And why did she feel so calm and content that she could enjoy their company? What were these foreign feelings she had coursing through her person all of a sudden?

Against her own judgment, Trixie stayed at Fluttershy’s abode and enjoyed their tea time together. Before she knew it, two hours had come and gone and she was saying goodbye to the mares. As she trotted away, Trixie couldn’t figure out what had talked her into staying as long as she did, much less that she enjoyed both their company and that she was highly contemplating doing it again.

When she reached her home Trixie felt relieved, which was unlike her, but she paid no heed to it right then because she needed to rest, and with the sun being lowered so that the moon may rise, she turned in for the night.