Fallout: Equestria - My Mother the Heroine

Emptiness.

Emptiness was everything he could feel.

A couple of months ago, he had found an old pre-war book in a trash bin somewhere in Tenpony Tower. Wondering why somepony would throw away this -at least somewhat intact- book, he had picked it out of the trash and cast a look inside.

It had been a scientific novel - loads and loads of thickly printed pages with lots of funny terms and expressions Nova had never heard before - and not nearly enough colorful pictures to keep his attention on the book for longer than a few minutes before putting it down again and devoting his attention to more important things like the little radroach that had just crawled past him.

However, the short partition of the book he had tried to read had said something that had somehow managed to survive in the depths of his short-term memory. It had said that sometimes, when a pony's mind is faced with an 'abundance of information', it would sometimes just fail - go into standby mode, so to speak.

Nova hadn't quite understood this at first - ponies were smart beings, why should they suddenly lose their mind because of some sort of abundance? What did that mean, anyway?

He had told his mommy about that book the same evening and asked her what it could have meant, and what could cause this sort of 'standby mode'.

His mommy had replied nothing at first, just looking at the colt for a few moments, before shaking her head and saying that things like these were often related to a sudden, unexpected revelation. He could have sworn he had also heard the name 'Arbu', but when he had asked his mommy what turning ponies into vegetarians had to do with losing one's mind, she had just muttered something about his auntie handling him with Remedy gloves ... or was it Velvet gloves? He couldn't remember.

However, he had not yet forgotten about the book, and right now he felt like he was starting to understand just what the author had meant with his statement.

That is, he would have felt this way if he had been able to feel at all.

His mind felt empty - in the truest sense of the word. Blackness, void, darkness - there were dozens of terms to describe what the inside of his head felt like in this moment.

Petrified might have been one of these too.

His whole body felt numb; every sort of movement seemed utterly impossible in this second - even if he could have brought up the willpower to tell his legs to move, he was sure they would have failed him out of pure weakness.

And so he kept still - without a movement; without a single thought on his mind.

Time seemed to stand still as the colt just sat there - and stared right at his impending demise.

At the raider coming pouncing towards him. At those two green eyes that looked just like his. Torn wide open, bloodshot, and gleaming with blood-thirsty glee, they stared at him - a stare that, Nova was sure, he wouldn't forget for the rest of his life - even if that wouldn't have been just a few split seconds away.

Under normal circumstances, Nova was sure his survival instinct must have been screaming at him; telling him to get to his hooves and save himself - he could still escape the raider if only he would act fast enough!

But now, after everything that had happened ... he couldn't do it. He couldn't bring up the power to move. Heck, he didn't want to bring up the power to move!

Everything seemed so meaningless in this moment; felt so hollow, so ... pointless.

Why bother moving? Why bother screaming? Why bother thinking at all? He would be dead in less than a second, so why waste the last remains of his lifetime doing something so ... useless?

Instead, he decided to do the only thing that would make his demise a little easier to handle.

He held his breath, lowered his head, and closed his eyes - waiting for the end to come.

...

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

Silence was all he could perceive - dead silence, as if the world had stopped turning.

"Is it ... over?" Nova asked himself after a long period of stillness, keeping his eyes closed. If this was what it felt like to die ... well, he wouldn't want to do it again, but it sure wasn't as bad as he had imagined.

Slowly, he opened an eye again, taking a careful peek at his afterlife.

He saw the dimly-lit, blood- and dirt-smeared walls of Stable Two. Dusty, abandoned tables were standing on a moldy, sticky floor that hadn't seen any water or a mop for several decades, and a gust of cold, sticky air that blew over his back fur sent a shiver through the colt's body.

Not exactly what he had expected.

Moderately confused, Nova opened his other eye, and lifted his head off the ground. Noticing a strange, static-like noise in his head, he led a hoof up to his ear and gently scratched the sensitive organ.

With a soft pop, his hearing returned, and his ears promptly perked up.

He couldn't tell what exactly it was he heard - scrambling, slapping sounds, accompanied by the occasional groan and curse. For a moment he felt reminded to that one time when he had walked in on his auntie and uncle doing that special embrace together, but this just sounded a little more ... aggressive.

Slightly confused, Nova shook his still dizzy head and looked around. His eyes widened.

His mind was still feeling drowsy, and he barely remembered a thing from what had happened since he had entered the stable's atrium, but right now he knew only one thing: his mother was in danger!

She was rolling on the ground, her hooves locked firmly around the neck of a pony easily twice her size, her face contorted in stress and anger as she struggled with the stallion, both of them trying to get the upper hand. It took Nova a few seconds to remember who it was his mother was fighting with, but when he did, a new wave of fear shot through his body.

"Heh..." Bonecracker growled with a toothy grin as the bundle of two ponies came to a halt, Littlepip resting on top of the raider as she tried to hold down his bulky front legs, "You've gotten stronger than last time. Impressive."

Littlepip replied nothing, clenching her teeth as her horn lit up, holding the stallion's legs in place.

"But not strong enough." Bonecracker added with a grin, and before Littlepip's magic could form around his limbs, his right hoof shot up, sending a powerful punch against the unicorn's cheek, and gaining a pained yelp from her in return as her magic imploded. The raider didn't hesitate to take advantage of this short moment of distraction - placing both his forehooves on Littlepip's chest, he shoved the unicorn off his body and caused her to fall on ber back, exposing her unprotected belly.

Frozen in shock, Nova watched how Bonecracker then pounced onto his mother, standing above her, placing two hooves at each side of her head and looking into her eyes with a look of deadly determination. Littlepip wanted to struggle, but Bonecracker just replied with a hard stomp of his big hoof onto the unicorn's abdomen, and Littlepip ended her struggles with a breathless groan as the air was pressed out of her lungs.

Her horn lit up once again, forming a green aura around the raider as a last resort, but another quick punch to the face caused her concentration to falter with a sickening crunch, and her head fell back against the ground with a powerless gasp.

"Still a stable pony." Bonecracker said with a superior smirk, firmly placing a hoof on Littlepip's chest, who groaned and spat out a chunk of bloody saliva before focussing the raider with a hateful look. "Still weak and fragile."

"Die in a fire." Littlepip hissed at the stallion with clenched teeth. And once again, her muzzle was met with Bonecracker's hoof with another crunch - his blows seemed to get stronger every time.

"No!" Finally, it seemed Nova had managed to break himself loose from his state of shock. His heart in his mouth, the colt jumped to his hooves and ran over to the two ponies in a tear-soaked frenzy, "Get away from her you filthy monster! Get away from her!"

He came to a halt right next to Bonecracker's massive form just as the raider was about to launch into another strike at Littlepip. Getting to his rear legs, he punched his hooves into the stallion's side, trying to stop him from beating his mother to pulp.

However, to the colt's disappointment, Bonecracker seemed completely unaffected by Nova's attack. In fact, he barely even deigned to look at him as his hoof hovered dangerously over Littlepip's bleeding nose. "Don't worry, junior," he said over his shoulder, smirking, "I'll be with you in a second."

And with that, he turned his hoof away and with an almost casual ease delivered a powerful backhanded blow against the side of Nova's head, sending the colt flying a few feet backwards before landing on the filthy ground and sliding to a halt.

"You fucker!" Littlepip screamed in horror and once again punched her hoof into Bonecracker's chest with all her power - the raider didn't even flinch.

"Ouch..." Nova groaned, caressing his burning cheek as he felt tears forming in his eyes once again. He had never felt this sort of pain before, and if he hadn't been sure that adrenaline had completely replaced the blood in his veins, he would have probably cried out and called for his mommy.

However, his mommy wasn't there; she wasn't even somewhere nearby. And the only other pony he trusted was still involved in a mortal combat with a blood-thirsty raider - a raider that had -by a hair- killed Nova without hesitation just moments ago.

Said raider had meanwhile focussed his attention back on Littlepip. While her teeth were still bared in anger, and her eyes promised all kinds of pain and suffering for Bonecracker once she was free, her battered body seemed too weak to fulfill these promises; her torso was still immobilized by Bonecracker's hoof resting on her chest; her short legs barely reached the tall stallion, and her horn -while giving the one or other green spark every now and then- didn't seem capable of freeing her from the raider's grip.

Both ponies seemed to know about the balance of power, based on the look of horror that was starting to make itself noticeable in Littlepip's eyes, and that of calm, pleasant anticipation in the eyes of the raider.

"I should've killed you the first time you were here." he growled with a grin as he slowly lifted his right hoof, and placed it right on Littlepip's neck, "But better late than never, right?"

And with that, he pressed his hoof down; Littlepip's eyes widened abruptly as she gasped for air, yet all that escaped her mouth was a muffled choking sound. Her hooves shot up, reaching for her throat, and trying to shove the red hoof that was blocking her airways away, but to no avail: without her magic, Littlepip was completely at Bonecracker's mercy - and it didn't seem like the raider planned on leaving her a chance to change anything about that.

With pounding heart, Nova sat and watched as the pony he had known as his mother for his whole life was slowly suffocated by the pony who, by his own admission, was his actual father - a cold-blooded and merciless murderer.

Tears were running down his cheeks, and his whole body began to shiver as he started to recall single parts of what his alleged parents had been arguing about before the events had taken a drastic turn.

However, these thoughts quickly were upstaged by the realization of just what was happening right in front of his eyes: this pony was being killed! And he was just standing aside and watching! He had to do something!

His look shot back to the raider looming atop the Stable Dweller; the toothy grin on his face seemed to grow with every second as he pressed his hoof deeper into the mare's neck. Based on his prior experiences, Nova knew that running up to him and trying to shove the raider away from her would be futile: the stallion was easily four times Nova's weight, and he had already proven to have quite a strong hoof when it came to punching little colts.

With growing despair, Nova's look shot around the room, well-knowing that every second he wasted could mean a certain death for Littlepip.

He had to act, and he had to act now! He didn't stand a chance against the raider in close combat, and calling help would be futile, as the next settlement was miles away.

No, it was up to him to save her, and it was now or never!

With trembling legs, the colt hastily turned around, searching the dusky atrium for something, anything he could use against the raider, and his tear-stained eyes spotted something laying on the ground not too far from him.

No. No, there had to be another way!

His ears perked up, and a shudder ran through his spine as he once again heard the Stable Dweller choking on the raider's deathly grip.

There ... there had to be another way! There was no way he could...

"Relax." He heard Bonecracker's disturbingly soothing voice coming from behind him, barely drowning out Littlepip's chokes, "It'll be over soon. And I promise I'll take good care of the colt."

Another tear ran down Nova's cheek as his teeth began to chatter - he couldn't do this! He just ... couldn't! He had to find another way!

The colt's heart seemed to stop as the choking sounds coming from behind him slowly faded away, and the sounds of Littlepip's hooves flailing around and trying to free herself became weaker and weaker.

There ... there was no other way.

The hunger for blood was burning in Bonecracker's eyes as he looked into those of Littlepip. Struggling against his stranglehold with all of her power, yet without success, she stared at him, eyes wide in a mixture of horror and fury. Her lips formed curses, death threats, and just about anything else that came to the mare's mind, yet all that escaped her mouth were the repetetive sounds of choking.

"Relax." Bonecracker cooed, enjoying the power he finally had over the mare that had killed his whole crew; the only sort of friends or family he had ever had - two whole times. He had sworn himself that he'd make this mare pay for everything she had done the day she had left him tied up in between the dead bodies of his friends, and finally, finally this day had come. "It'll be over soon. And I promise I'll take good care of the colt."

All in all, things had gone a lot better than expected. When she had left him in the atrium the day before, he had originally wanted to break himself free right away like he had done last time. However, remembering what she had announced, he had decided to wait and see what 'surprise' she had in store - after all, if things were to become hairy he could break free and overwhelm the Stable Dweller anytime.

When the colt had walked into the atrium, he had known what to do - he might have been a raider, but he sure as heck wasn't stupid. He had had a suspicion that the stable mare hadn't told the colt anything about his roots, and once this suspicion had turned out to be true, he had known exactly what to do - why jump up and attack them right away if he could make the colt suffer a little more first - and make her watch helplessly.

Once the cat was out of the bag, taking care of the distressed colt was an easy feat - that is, if the little stable-cunt hadn't intervened and lunged at him before he could reach the colt.

Originally he wanted to kill the colt first and make her watch, but he wouldn't let this little change of tactics put him off his stride - so he got to kill the stable mare first; he sure wasn't going to complain.

He bit his lip in ecstasy as he saw how the mare's eyes seemed to become wider and wider - how resistance turned into despair, and despair into hopelessness. He could have ended this minutes ago - a quick stomp to her neck and that stable mare would have been gone for good - his name wasn't Bonecracker for nothing, after all.

Sure, she might have overrun him and his crew two times already, but she had merely used the element of surprise back then,  and only with her non-equine magic powers had she been able to overwhelm him at all. Now, however, all her fancy magic used her nothing at all, and she was completely at the raider's mercy - killing her would be like stopming a bug.

But he didn't want to make it too easy for her - he wanted to see her suffer; to watch her in struggle with death, and witness how she slowly, painfully departed her life.

So he merely increased the pressure on her neck a little further - and promptly got rewarded with a jerk going through the mare's body as her airways were crushed. With pleasure, he watched how her choked breathing slowly became weaker; how the grip of her hooves on his leg faded away, and her eyes became glassy.

He licked his lips, looking into the half-lidded eyes of the Stable Dweller, and whispered, "Time to die - hero."

But just as the raider was about to launch into the finishing strike that would end the Stable Dweller's life once and for all, another ear-shattering bang echoed throughout the deserted halls of Stable Two - and was followed by nothing but dead silence.

Almost unconscious from the lack of oxygen, Littlepip looked up at the raider still looming over her, surprised to feel that the pressure on her neck was slowly fading away.

Looking at her with an unbelieving, empty gaze, Bonecracker let out a weak groan, before going limp like a sack of potatoes and collapsing to the floor, burying Littlepip's hind legs under his body as he did so.

Breathing heavily, slowly regaining her consciousness, the Stable Dweller lifted her head, then looked at the collapsed raider - and at the hoof-sized hole in the side of his head.

Little Macintosh fell to the ground with a loud clank, a good ten yards away from where the light red colt was sitting on the ground, his sobs barely audible over the breathless gasps of the recovering unicorn mare.

Eyes torn wide open and staring blankly into the darkness, legs stiff as a poker and trembling like aspen leaves, he sat there.

He didn't know what had just happened. He didn't want to know what had just happened. His beathing quickened; his sobs became more and more stifled as the colt started to hyperventilate, his eyes never leaving the spot where a raider had tried to choke his mother to death mere seconds ago - and where the buff stallion was now laying on the ground with a bullet in his head - a bullet he had fired.

Nova could feel the taste of copper in his mouth, as well as the feeling of something warm running down his neck. After picking up and firing Little Macintosh in the heat of the moment, the revolver's recoil had literally blown the colt off his hooves - his head had jerked back, his occiput hitting the ground -hard- while the gun had literally jumped out of his mouth's hold, knocking out a tooth in the process.

The pain this had caused was hardly describable, but Nova barely even noticed it. He barely noticed anything.

He just sat there - sobbing, crying, wailing like the little foal he was; hoping that all this was just a terrible nightmare, and that his mommy would wake him up any minute now.

But nothing happened; nothing at all. For a whole eternity, he was just sitting there - surrounded by nothing but darkness and dead silence, and accompanied by nobody but his own thoughts.

And there sure was a lot to think about.

"Hey..." Maybe it were several hours that had passed until Nova could hear hoofsteps slowly coming closer, maybe just a few seconds - lost in his thoughts, he had lost each and every sense of time.

Everything  felt blurred; his legs were still trembling and he was still sobbing heftily, but he had stopped crying some time ago - perhaps his body had just run out of tears.

Still breathing a little heavier than normal, Littlepip walked up to him, comfortingly putting a hoof on his back.

Nova didn't react.

"You ... really saved my hide back there." she said slowly, "Just a few seconds longer and I would have..."

She abruptly cut herself off as she saw the red stains on her hoof and the blood running down his back. "You're injured!" she noticed with horror, looking at the small but noticeable laceration at the back of his head, "Sweet Celestia, was that..."

Hastily, she walked around the colt, bowing her head down to look into his glassy eyes - and promptly noticed the thin trail of blood that was running out of the corner his mouth. Nova, however, didn't move in the slightest, just continuing to look into the emptiness with a thousand-yard stare and sobbing.

"Hey. Hey..." Littlepip said, placing a hoof under his chin and looking the colt in the eyes, "You did the right thing back there." she assured him, softly, but with emphasis, "He would have killed me if you hadn't stepped in." she said emphatically. Despair more and more entered her face as she saw that the colt still didn't react.

"Come here..." she said, putting a hoof around Nova's neck and pulling him into a hug.

She was stopped by a red hoof placed firmly on her chest. Still trembling and breathing heavily, his eyes red from crying, Nova looked at her, his face contorted in a mixture of anger and pain. "Is it ... true?" he asked with trembling voice, not breaking eye contact with Littlepip.

"Nova come on," she put him off, leaning forward and starting another attempt to pull him into a tight, tender hug.

Oh how desperately he wished to hug her; how badly he wanted to snuggle into her soft chest fur, close his eyes, and pretend that nothing of all this had ever happened.

But he couldn't. Not until he had a clear answer.

"Is it true?" he asked, his voice sharper this time; the one hoof that kept Littlepip from hugging him had not left its position.

She placed her hoof on his, gently trying to push it down, but it didn't move by an inch. "Nova please," she tried again, her voice almost begging with the colt, "we really don't need to-"

"Is. It. True!?" Nova hissed through clenched teeth, throwing a glare at his mother that almost looked as threatening as that of Bonecracker. "Is it true that you've made me grow up living a lie? That you're not my real mother; that my father is a..." he drew in a sharp breath, "a murdering, raping monster, and my mother his poor slave?"

Littlepip just looked at the colt, the expression of despair on her face slowly turning into one of hopelessness as she listened to what he had to say.

"Is it true..." Nova continued, his trembling voice gaining more and more anger to it, "That you arranged all this-" he pointed at the stable around them, "brought me here, knowing what was going on, put me through all this..." he had to pause as his voice was about to break, but then cleared his throat and continued, "And made me kill my own father - just because you wanted revenge for what he's done to your stable!?"

"These ... these were raiders, Nova." Littlepip tried to defend herself, "You've seen what they've done to innocent settlers - think of the white stallion we've freed!"

"How do I know that you didn't bring him here!?" Nova shouted angrily, tears in his eyes, "After everything you've done..." he sobbed, breaking eye contact as he looked to the side and let his hoof slide off her chest, "It wouldn't surprise me."

"N-Nova..." Littlepip stuttered helplessly, "You ... you know I'd never do something like this!" she assured him with growing despair, "Everything I've done I've done to help ponies!"

Slowly, the colt lifted his head again, silently looking her in the eyes; his whole body was still trembling.

A moment of total silence passed.

"...It's true ... isn't it?" he asked with quavering voice, "That you've killed my mother..." he spat at her, "and kidnapped me right after I was born!" he burst out, tears running down his cheeks. But he didn't look away. He didn't break eye contact. He wanted to look into her eyes - and see if she was being honest or not.

"Nova..." she looked at him, pain in her eyes, "It's not like-"

"Tell me. The truth." he said; his voice was slow, tensed to the maximum, never breaking eye contact with Littlepip. "Did you kill my mother?"

Littlepip looked back at him - from the look in her eyes, it seemed like she wanted to break out in tears on the spot, but she did her best to keep herself together. "It's not what it sounds like!" she assured him, her voice at the verge of breaking, "She was about to-"

"Little-pip." Nova hissed sharply. This was, as far as he could remember, the first time he had called the unicorn by her real name and not adressed her as 'mom'. But this ... this pony didn't deserve to be called his mom any longer. "Did you kill her?" he asked her with wide open eyes, "Yes, or no?"

"I ... I..." she stuttered helplessly, then closed her eyes and lowered her head; a single tear ran down her muzzle.

"Yes..." she said, her voice weak and barely louder than a whisper, "Yes, I did."

Before Nova could reply, her head shot back up and she added, "But it's not like you think it is!" she assured him with desperate eyes, "Your mother ...  Morning Mist, she..." a shiver ran through the unicorn's body, "She barely survived the birth. When I found her, she was lying on the ground, covered in her own blood, and cradling you in her arms." she looked at the colt, wiping her tears from her face, "I tried to help her, but she'd already lost too much blood - and her body was weak from months of abuse. I knew that she wouldn't make it - and she knew it too."

She looked away from Nova, a heavy sigh escaping her lips, "She asked me to put an end to her suffering; begged me to take you with me and give you a chance for a better life." her eyes went back to the colt, and a new tear ran down her face, "So that's what I did." she finished with a sorroful look on her face, "I put a quick and painless end to her suffering." Another tear formed in her eyes and ran down her cheek, "And I took you with me and raised you like my own son - hoping that you would grow up in a better world than your mother."

She finished, and dead silence settled between the two ponies. Nova looked at her, his eyes big as he let her words sink in. The anger in his face seemed to vanish, making way for an expression of understanding, before the colt closed his eyes and let his head sink.

"And everything I've done since then," Littlepip continued softly, gently placing a hoof on Nova's shoulder, "I've done for your own good." her voice broke, and she let out a sob, "Because I love you like my own son - and I always will, no matter what."

The colt sighed heavily, the tensed muscles in his face relaxing for a moment.

Then his whole body tensed again; his head shot back up, and his tearstained eyes focused on Littlepip.

"Liar!" he shouted with all of his remaining power, shoving Littlepip's hoof away, "You're a liar! Everything you say is just ... just an excuse to make everything you've done sound acceptable!" he shouted, pointing an accusing hoof at her, "But it doesn't!" he yelled, his eyes going wide again, "You've lied to me! All my life you've been lying to me! You've killed my mother, and made me kill my father! You ... you're a monster!"

His words hit Littlepip like a punch to the face - each and every muscle in her body seemed to go limp and she could feel herself reel as she stared at the colt, her mouth hanging open.

"I ... I can't..." Nova sobbed, looking to the ground, "I can't believe you did this to me. All this time, you just ... just..."

"Nova..." Littlepip whispered, taking a step forward and placing a comforting hoof on the colt's back.

But he smacked it away with his hoof. "Don't touch me!" he yelled at her with eyes wide in horror, "You monster! I..." he sobbed again, rubbing a hoof over his running nose, "I never want to see you again!"

He jumped to his hooves and started running, running right past Littlepip and back into the direction the two had come from earlier.

"Nova please, I..." She raised a hoof, wanting to protest, but couldn't get herself to follow the running colt, "I ... I..." tears were blurring her vision, and she could feel herself sink to her haunches as she watched the reddish figure disappear in the twilight of the stable - running away from the pony he had looked up to; had admired, and trusted blindly for his whole life.

"I ... love you."