The Whims of Royalty

Paru

Whim 1

The first thing on his mind was water. Having been magically kept alive, despite lack of sustenance, he surely would have killed himself if he had the chance. But, ever since the War of Trans-Science, very few humans had the ability to die at all. Though the fertility rate was much lower than the era before the war, the artificial longevity of humans had allowed the worldwide population to grow at a slow, but steady rate. But this is not the story of how the science wielding A.E.G.I.S. and the magically supported D.E.M.O.N. had been defeated by L.I.C.H.E., who had mixed magic and science to create “trans-science”. No, this is the story of the effects of this war.

The first thing on his mind was water. The second was getting as far away from the prison he had escaped from three days prior, though he was one of the last humans in the world. His solitude was the result of a different war which, though the human race was nearly wiped out, his prison did not allow him to participate, allowing him a longer life. Of course, having been isolated from the demise of mankind, he could not be expected to know why he hadn't seen any humans in what was supposed to be the most densely populated city in the Kingdom of Keish-Fanda. This poor fool who wove his cloak from the grass surrounding his prison to hide the fact that he was imprisoned without clothing.

He's not as much of a fool as I make him seem, however. He was just a very important piece in my plan. It's an interesting plan; full of romance, death, and betrayal. You've already seen part of this plan, Princesses, but would you like to hear it's entirety? I've been working on it for several millennia; I am quite proud of it. Although, I think I'll skip ahead a bit, I don't think anypony wants to hear the details about a man walking for three days straight.

To his left stood a forest. The trees were planted in neat little rows, very unnatural, an obvious sign of civilization. Under normal circumstances, he would have fled from any sign of civilization, he was an outlaw after all. However, due to circumstances I will discuss later, he had walked for three days for this specific apple orchard. Entering the orchard, he began muttering to himself the first thought on his mind.

“Paru. Paru se tala.” He started walking towards the closest tree. A pale red aura appeared around his hands and feet as he began climbing the tree without any regard for handholds and footholds. A simple adhesion spell taught to humans at a young age, skillfully applied to allow him to climb. Reaching the top, he began grabbing apple after apple and scarfing them down. The only limitation to his speed was how fast he could chew enough to swallow before filling his mouth again, even eating the core. His thirst satiated after these years of imprisonment longer than my very existence, he fell asleep in that tree, hidden by the leaves from the mare who – as was her wont during applebuck season – bucked the very tree he was in. Needless to say, Applejack Apple was very surprised when a man fell into her bucket.

When the man awoke, he found himself beneath a heavy blanket on a soft couch with a cool, wet towel on his forehead. Sitting up to look around, this man found a homely room devoid of any life but himself and a small brown owl sitting on a windowsill. The moment he and the owl met eyes, the owl flew off into a midday sun.

The man had tanned, muscled skin, revealing a past of physical fitness that his race had no longer thought necessary. His long black hair, matted and greasy, fell in front of his face, nearly blocking all vision. Feeling it would be easier than trying to untangle, he raised his hands to his hair. His hands glowing a pale red once again, his hair began falling from his head leaving nothing but a smooth stubble. After shaving himself, his hands stopped glowing, then resumed their glow (any magician would know that this usually meant a change in spell) as his severed hair began to vanish in a puff of smoke. His face, now completely unobstructed, contained silver eyes which showed a deep, deep pain, long rooted in this fool's past. After shaving and dissolving his beard (also long, greasy, and matted), he got up, noticed that he no longer had his grass cloak, and grabbed the blanket just in time to preserve his modesty from three ponies barging into the room.

For the sake of convenience, since this only happened a few years ago, I'll tell you that these ponies were, in the order they entered the room, Twilight Sparkle, Applebloom, and Applejack Apple. "Heya ma donde?", the man asked.

"So, yer awake now, huh?" Applejack responded. "Mind tellin' us what you were doin' in one o' my trees?

"Donde gel senka itsa. Patzen ma krek?"

"Uh, Twilight, he's speakin' funny..."

"Well, no." Twilight began. "He's a human. We speak English, a language the humans abandoned long ago. He speaks some other language ponies have abandoned. I'm lucky to have a few books in this language in my library, but I never got around to reading them."

"Well, that's all fine and dandy, but what in the hay's a 'hyu-mahn'?"

At this point, Applebloom jumped up, yelling "I know what humans are! They told us about them last year in history class!"

"Then you should count yer blessin's. When I was younger 'n you, I had to drop out of school to help out on the farm", Applejack explained. "So, what's a 'hyu-mahn'?"

"Humans are the critters who are rumored to have given cutie marks n' magic n' talkin' to us ponyfolk. Ah was really interested, so Ah read a book 'bout their language n' culture, n' Ah memorized a few things. Like this", Applebloom said, turning to the man. "Donde ma Applebloom!"

"Muley ma A-pull-blume?"

"Eet!" the filly squealed. Pointing at Applejack and Twilight, she continued "Deka ma Applejack den Twilight Sparkle!"

"Ah-pull-jak den Twa-ee-lite Spar-kal?"

"Eet!" Applebloom then asked "Muley ma nass?"

"Donde ma Alekyen!" Was the mans answer.

"Well, his names Aley-kyen." Applebloom told the others.

«Pilot« »Chapter 1 ⅓»

Dictionary
*Note: Although the words may mean one thing, culture may assign a different meaning to certain words or phrases. Two examples in English are the use of "sick" or "insane" to positively describe something, and the phrase "playing with [insert name]" as a sexual innuendo. For that reason, I will provide a literal and colloquial translation. Also, in Patzen, the word "donde" (me) is used every time someone refers to them self, unless they are speaking in third-person.

Patzen to English
Deka ma (insert name) - This is (insert name)
Donde gel senka itsa - "I don't understand" (literally; "I know not")
Donde ma (insert name) - "I am (insert name)", (literally; I is (insert name))
Muley ma (insert name)? - "You are (insert name)", (literally; (the person I am talking to) is (insert name)?)
Muley ma nass? - Who are you? (literally; "You is who?")
Paru – "Apple".
Keish-Fanda – The capital of the 31 Kingdoms of the L.I.C.H.E. empire. The name consists of "keish" ("human") and "fanda" ("heart").
Paru se tala – "There is water in the apple" (literally; “apple holds water”).
Patzen ma krek? – "What language are you speaking?" (literally "language is what?"). The name for the language is "Patzen", which means language.
Heya ma donde? – "Where am I?" (literally "where is me?").

Den - And
"And" and "Or" are used like binary "and" and "or". If Applebloom said "This is Applejack and this is Rarity", we would only consider the statement partially true. However, because of the word "and", Alekyen would consider the entire statement false. If Applebloom had said "This is Applejack or this is Rarity", Alekyen would consider the statement true, while we would tell Applebloom to speak properly.
Eet - The statement previously stated is true
It is usually used to mean "yes", but sometimes used where an English speaker would say "no". If someone asked if you wanted cake, you would say "yes" (or at least I would), but if someone asked "don't you want some cake?", you would say "yes", meaning "I would like some cake". On the other hand, saying "Eet" would mean you don't want cake.