My shiny new tower

“I am the Great and Powerful Trixy! And I need to crash for a while.” a blue magician walked up to the base of my tower and proceeded to enter without getting a response. By the time I was fully aware of the situation, she had already opened the secondary door.

“Who are you and what are you doing in my tower? My dragon is off at the market, so this visit better be business.” I closed the book* I had just got from my aunt.

“What are you talking about, I need to rest for a minute. Where is the fridge, I thought that all princesses had fridges? You’re parents had told me that you would be a bit paranoid, so here it is, I am your personal witch.” She sat down on the bed.

“Look, I don’t care if you are going to stay here, but you are going to have to be a little more courteous. And I would like for you to get out of my tower.” I stared back at her, trying to get a feel of who this mare was.

“Well, your parents paid me and also got me to sign a contract, apparently we need those these days.” she took off her hat, letting her silver mane slide out from beneath it. “Basically I am here to deter any annoying pests that you don’t like. You just have to yell for me when my broom gets here, I will be staying in my cottage. Also don’t mind the minotaur, he is my boyfriend. Wake me when it gets here.” she promptly fell asleep.

I sat there in wonder of how somepony could fall asleep so fast.

“Twilight! I’m back from the market, you better not complain about the food this time.” Spike called from the edge of the clearing. “This time it’s carrots and oats, they were having a sale so I got you extra rations.” he dropped the sack of oats next to the door along with the bundle of carrots. The wind caught is way just right as he inhaled, “Who is here, princess? A prince or another intern?”

“Intern I believe, this one is a witch it seems. Mom must have sold another book. Anyway, she is expecting her broom to be here soon, so be on the look out for it. It has her cottage in some bag of hers, and also don’t mind the minotaur, it’s her boyfriend. With my luck this week, it will be Iron Will again.” I fingered open my book again and resumed reading, completely missing Spikes response.

Back at the Princess Rescue Agency

“Alright sir you just need to sign here and here and you can be off on your way!” the receptionist held out a clip board and a pen to the cloaked pony before her. As he grabbed it, he signed using an early B.C&L. Language that was nearly indecipherable, leaving her clueless as to what his name was. “Um, do you need some assistance in translating into modern equestrian? Because I can help you if you do...”

His glowing red eyes looked at her in confusion, “What do you mean, ‘translating’? I have never heard this word before, would you mind explaining?” he tilted his head.

“Well, it goes like this, I figure out what you are writing and I write it in another language so that I can understand it, OK?” he slowly nodded that he got what she was talking about, “OK, could you tell me your name please?”

“Oh yes, it’s Sombra, King Sombra. I am looking for a good queen. I think I could find her in the selection you gave me, so if I could get a compass, tent, and a sword, I think I could make it.” he pulled out the map from his pack and unfolded it. “Maybe if you could just- what is that?” he pointed over at a computer on the desk that had just beeped. He walked over to it and poked it, causing it to wobble precariously to the edge.

“Sir, if you could not do that I would appreciate it, and it’s called a computer. Now if you would please just come over here and finish the paperwork with me you could go on your way and I can retire.” she held out the clipboard and pen towards him.

He looked back towards her and pulled back his hand, “Um, of course!” he walked back over and grabbed the pen from her hand, “Where do I sign again?” she sighed and pointed to several spots on the paper. “Oh, thank you.”

The shiny new tower

Spike and Iron Will had been arguing for the past three hours, by this time I had thrown three rocks at them, barely getting a response out of Spike, but causing Iron Will to freak out. The reason why they had been arguing was of course where Trixy’s cottage would go. They would just ignore me as I had said several times that it should be right at the north edge of the clearing as to attract more attention from travelers and of course potential would be annoyances. The few suitors that I would even consider would hardly even leave their sanctuaries to even get food.

“Iron will will not back down to a greed prone dragon on where to put his girlfriends cottage, she has the right of it!” I could feel the amount of stupidity and flexing he was inflicting as he talked, causing me to get a little irritated.

I got up from my chair and walked over to the window for the twelfth time today, “Will you just shut up and put the Celestia damned cottage at the north end of the clearing you insipid fool! I am this close to coming down there and throwing you both into the forest!” thankfully that had gotten their attention, now I had to figure out how to get them to stay quiet. “Wait there, I will be down in a second.” I unlatched the doors and began my decent to the ground. Normally a princess would never get the luxury of being able to walk on grass until somepony came for them, but I wasn’t just any princess.

I ruffled my feathers out as I left the closed spaces of my tower. I turned around to find that spike had been just standing there, waiting for me, while iron will and Trixy had begun to put the cottage on the west side like I had told them not to. My left eye began a slight tremor. “Excuse me, but I told you that the cottage is to be on the north end for maximum efficiency.”

iron will turned back towards me, “Iron will will not tolerate prissy princess to argue with his mare friend, back off.” he had made three poses during the sentence, causing my left eye to twitch noticeably.

“I ask that you listen to me, not because my parents are your ‘friends’ current employers, but because I know what I am talking about. Now please, put the cottage on the north side.” I smiled to be polite.

“Iron Will will not back down to little wusses like you, he has told you before, back off.”

His continual to strike poses was beginning to irk me, “Tell me, do you value your pride more than your face?” my hair had popped out of its natural strait form. Spike had been watching from a few feet behind iron will for some time and had begun to notice my tick, slowly slinking back over to the tower.

“Iron will does not care about your little riddles, he suggests that you go back to your tower and, deal, with, IT!” he had bent down right into my face as he continued to talk, striking a few more poses as he did so.

I lifted my right hoof slowly, drawing his whole focus to it, “You see, when you mess with the bull, you get the horn, right?” he squinted, “And when you mess with the princess, you get, the final notice.” I had been charging my horn while he wasn’t looking, as I put all my magic that I had been charging around my hoof, I lightly flicked his nose. His face crumpled as he flew across the clearing, screaming as he went. His trajectory I had planned, was right into Trixy’s back, causing them to collide as he continued on his way. My smiling face was probably the last thing he was ever likely to see since I had put a good amount of power behind it. The trees that had been the subject of their path had been shoved quite roughly aside due to the cottage that had been tethered to the broom that she had in her grasp.

As I stood there, I did the breathing exercise that I had been taught by my sister in law, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Slowly spike came out from the closed door, “did you really have to do that?”

My features came back to their normal pattern, “If a fly was buzzing around your soup, wouldn’t you swat it away?” I turned around and made my way back to my room.