My shiny new tower

I had been waiting for the mare in the ‘agency’ to hand me a sword for about three hours since I had completed the ‘paper work’, apparently one paper isn’t enough anymore. The past three days I had been trying to get out of here and finding somepony to help rule besides me, she had been shoving paper after paper in my face. I was just about ready to scream my head off and just blast this place to smithereens. I had been up the entire time I had been here, barely enough time to close my eyes before the next stack was shoved beneath the pen in my hand.

My eyes were just about as bloody as the last time I had been drinking, giving me the look of one of the zombies I had raised. The weariness that ran bone deep, my arm felt like it had been beaten with a cold iron hammer. The ‘coffee’ that she had been feeding me was making my heart hammer in my chest like a thousand drums. The delicious concoction was some sort of herb that they use for staying awake apparently.

The desk I was sitting on seemed to get more and more comfortable as I sat there trying to stay awake. My head was swaying around like a drunken sailor on flat ground. My focus had blurred so much that I had no idea as to what I was signing anymore, leaving me at the mercy of the mare who was keeping me here.

Back at the tower

“I am here to eat carrots and buck stuff up, and I am all out of carrots!” a mare had called from the edge of my clearing, making me stop reading and look out my window. “Where are the princes? I am going to start partying if I don’t see a prince in about three seconds!”

Confused, I got up from my chair and walked over to the window. “What are you talking about ‘princes’ for? You do know that there are only princesses right?” the pink mare was wheeling in a rather large pink cannon with the words ‘party cannon’ sloppily painted on the side.

“I don’t care! I went to the rescue agency and got myself a prince tag, and I am going to collect!” she pulled on the fuse and shot out some confetti. “What the buck?! Where are the pies? I thought I loaded this thing with pies! Wait, if the confetti is in this, then that means-” pow! The cart that had been pulled out of nowhere, defying logic, exploded with raspberry jam and pie crust, showering spike with the deluge.

“How, just how did you get that there without me seeing you pull it along with you?!” the confusing ability of the mare confounded me.

“I don’t need a reason! I am the mayor of chaos town! My sheriff looks like someone put a whole forest in a blender and went Frankenstein on it!” the cannon disappeared along with the cart.

“Wait... your pinky pie? The delusional fan who asked for a gag certificate of mayoral status over chaos? I thought you were a foal!”

“Buck no! Discord! Front and center!” out of nowhere the rarest magical creature popped up right in front of her.

“Mam, what is the problem?” he saluted her.

“On, my map, there are no princes listed, I need this changed right now!” she pulled out the field map, supplied by the agency and held it out to him.

He grabbed the map and began thoroughly looking at it. He snapped his claw and five more locations popped up. “Here you are mam, there are your princes!”

as she grabbed it out of his hand, Discord disappeared. She turned around and trudged off back into the forest.

I stood there, confused so badly out of my mind that I had almost fallen out of the window. “Spike, the next prince that gets here, I think I will just go with. I am getting pretty tired of dealing with these ponies.” I turned away from the window and slowly made my way back to the chair and plopped down on it.