Lonely

?

"That's all the strength that I have left."

"Can you see what's happening, sir?"

"Yes. He is learning."

"Do you think it will be enough, sir?"

"I… We will see. I've attempted to get the message over to him numerous times now. Visions of… a time that..." I couldn't finish that sentence, as much as I wanted to.

"Do you think that he can do it, sir?" My Commander was always loyal to me. He never turned on me, no matter what. He shall never be forgotten for his duties once his time passes…

"We can only hope that he can put the pieces together. For now, we shall wait. Until the time is right, that is. For now… we wait."

Thomas

The flash of white light had slowly faded away from my vision, as I was lying on the ground. I was knocked out? I wasn't near the cliff now, I was somewhere else in the forest. Alone. With nopony knowing, other than maybe the Princess, knowing where I am.

As I get up, I think about the many questions I wanted to ask the Princess. Why does she believe that I am special and important? I'm not special, and I've never been important to anypony… yet she thinks that I am special. S-Should I believe her? That I am special and important? I… What does she see in me? Why does… she even care about me? Why… She even cared about my own fate. She... wanted me to live. She has given me a reason.

Maybe I shouldn't question the mentality of the Princess, the ruler of Equestria. She must know a lot of things. Though… what would make me so special and important, that the Princess want me to believe in? I… She helped me with my nightmare… I should at least be thankful for that. And… I wasn't really that nervous around her, by the end. I… even trusted her. Another pony… that I actually trusted. And she was the ruler of a country…

This was all bizarre… and what was all that about f-friends? I have none. I'm lonely. I thought I told her that. What… friends do I even have? And who would want to be friends with me? How… I'm sorry, Princess. How am I supposed to believe that I am special and important when... I haven't done anything of worth? Ever.

"Ahhh!" I heard a faint scream… coming from some close distance. Well, I better go see who that pony was. I've… what else am I supposed to do. I can't go anywhere else… not that I know how to get out. I tried to listen carefully for the fainter crying that I now heard, walking cautiously towards it. I expected for some dangerous animals to jump out at me… but nothing. Just, crying.

I was lead to a small plain field in the middle of the forest, looking around and seeing nothing. This was where the sorrowful vocals were coming from, at least I think. There was nothing vaguely connected with the sound. Until… I spotted a small light blue tail moving from behind a tree. I even heard small sobbing sounds coming from the location as well.

Well… hesitantly, I stepped towards the tree, peaking around it slowly. I think this maybe a trap… but honestly I could care less right now. It… the source of the wailing was actually a small little filly… a pegasi. She had a light blue mane and tail, with a purple coat. She held her hooves to her eyes as tears slipped out, falling down her coat onto the grass. W-what… what is this foal doing out here? She… how did she get here in the first place, is my first question. Secondly… why was she even here? Is she… did she run away from home? Did she get lost in the forest? Was she chased by… some animal… that could be ne-nearby? No, push those thoughts out of your head.

She… was just a filly. I shouldn't be afraid of her… Why do I get the slightest feeling that this is a trap somehow? I… doesn't really matter. Just… are you afraid of a foal, Thomas? You… must be really pathetic. No. No! I'm not pathetic. If… the Princess can believe in me…

"Hey…" I held out a hoof towards her, attempting to comfort her. I feel immediately remorseful for her… which… I don't know. I guess it's a part of my personality. I'm kind, I guess. If I wasn't remorseful, I probably would have ignored her. She flinched when she heard a voice, lowering her right hoof ever so slightly to get a glance at me, before moving her hooves away from her eyes… her looking at me fearfully… that expression which I know very well. Past experiences… Um, how… do I help her… or, how do I start this…?

"Why are you doing out here all by yourself…?" I attempt, trying to not look like a threat. She hasn't screamed when she looked at me… so I'm getting somewhere. She really shouldn't be out here by herself.

In response, she sniffed as she tried to make out a few words, looking back down at the ground as she began to speak. "I'm l-lost…" She stuttered, wiping the tears from her eyes. It… was sad to see a foal cry like this… or at all for the matter. I feel sad for her. Foals shouldn't have to feel sorrow or bad in their foalhoods… like I went through. "C-ca-can… y-you…" She paused again, sniffing. "Can you take me home?" She looked up at me… with a cute face. If it weren't for the tears… Was she from Ponyville? I haven't seen her around… not that I have been around much… oh the memories… I didn't know where I was either… I could definitely not leave her here by herself. Is this place as bad as other ponies are saying it is to be?

"I… can try." I answered, stuttering as well. "Here… stay close with me, why don't you?" I offered softly, trying really hard not to startle the young one. She… seemed to be grateful that I am even here, offering her… safety I guess. She even managed to break out a small smile, as the tears that were once in her eyes mostly disappeared without a trace.

"Thank you." She said, as she moved closer towards me, being only inches away. She didn't seem that scared… only upset that she was lost. I nodded and gestured forward with my head, beginning to walk ahead to wherever this road leads us, as she accompanied me. Thankfully, she would be safe from danger.

Some time had passed since out first encounter, which had been mostly in silence. I would occasionally hear the breeze moving the leaves of the trees, or the occasional sniffling from the small filly beside me. She seemed… comfortable being near me. Which is surprising… nopony wants to be near me at all. The Princess doesn't count, even if she did. Everypony would usually spit on me, insult me, or beat me if I even make an attempt to make friends. Usually it would be all three in that order. But this was a small foal. Sure, she was a foal… but she didn't seem afraid or being near me, or even resenting me in some way…

"…thank you again… for helping me get home…" She then said, looking towards the floor for a moment while doing so, smiling as it looked like there were no more tears in sight. She… looked happy. Something which I probably won't ever feel. I doubt that I ever will.

"No worries…" I answered, though I think there are worries in being in this forest. Also, I lost count over how long we have been walking. We went in a few different directions, encountering nothing really. "A little filly like you shouldn't even be near this place…" Or in here in the first place, for the matter.

She didn't really respond for a few moments, only looking at the ground in silence as we kept walking. I wonder what even led her to be out here, hearing about the rumours. Something really frightening must have happened to the filly, for her to run away to the middle of… nowhere essentially. "Hey…" She caught my attention. "…want to hear some jokes?"

"Jokes?" I question with confusion, my eyes squinting a little. Well… she really doesn't seemed frightened at all, now that she is with me. She doesn't even looked distressed in anyway, now that I notice her expressions. She is smiling genuinely. Like she is happy for me to be here… If it weren't for the fact that we are in a dangerous forest… I'm not sure if she would care or not about me. Tartarus, I'm a complete stranger to her.

And… I don't really think this is the right place to tell jokes… even if it is to past the time. But… considering it looks like there will be no immediate threat that I can foresee or notice… "S-sure…" I answer, hesitantly.

"Oh!" She beamed for a moment, before looking down in thought. "Which flower talks the most?" I… don't know. Is this a joke or a real question? I shrugged. "Tulips, of course!" Tulips? W-what? I'm… I don't get this… logic. She must have seen my confused expression, before continuing. "Cause they have two lips!" Because Tulips have two… lips?

"Um…" I don't know if I actually get the joke or not. I don't think I do. Though, I don't want to upset the foal for not knowing… If I do even upset the filly at all. Other ponies would be harsh on me if I didn't understand them, which didn't matter as they would beat me- Get those thoughts out of your head! Push them away… "Okay." I say, uneasily.

"Oh…" She looked a little saddened, probably that I didn't get the joke. "Okay, how about this!" She beamed again. "Why was six afraid of seven?" Why was… I think I've heard of this joke before in school, some other ponies talking about the joke, while they laugh, also laughing at me at the same time…

I don't know if I should answer this… I can't exactly remember the answer anyways… or the supposed joke. "I-I don't know… why?"

"Because seven eight nine!" She said in excitement, before bursting into a laugh of giggles. Oh… I don't think I'll ever laugh. One small joke doesn't really make me happy. I don't see any reason for it. Even if this is a little filly…

"Oh." I try to act happy… which was kind of sad for me. I… don't want to think about this.

She noticed my unchanged expression, one of a sad and confused one, and frowned lightly. "I'm sorry. My jokes are bad, aren't they?" It looks like she is getting the wrong impression. I don't want her to feel bad… a small little filly hating me… like the rest. No, she seems like… a nice pony. An exception. Unlike the rest… I don't think she'll hate me, maybe dislike me… she would probably be upset. I don't want any foal to be sad…

"What?" I looked over to her. "No… It's just…" I paused and tried to think of what to say. I don't want to revel much, or anything at all here. She… maybe a foal but she still is a stranger. I don't see how a young filly would be able to help me. "I'm just not really a laughable pony…" I eventually answered, looking away in shame. Wish I could really trust somepony… the Princess wouldn't count.

"What do you mean by that?" She asked curiously, not sounding suspicious, just… curious.

I remained silent for a while. I… what should I say? No matter what I do say, things will remain awkward as it is. And I'm not a social pony… so I wouldn't know how to speak to ponies very well… other than the occasional answer. "It's complicated." I mustered, looking back at the foal, who looked a little worried at my expression. She just nodded and we kept walking, in silence.

We eventually made it to something, for once. A river in the middle of the path. It was fairly large, actually. I could make it if I was careful enough. The tide didn't look rough. We could make it across safely. No animals have been spotted around here. I begin to walk through, or across the river, when I suddenly heard a sob coming from behind me. I turn around to see the little filly quaking in fear. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"The water… it's a little high…" She answered very nervously, trembling slightly. "…and I don't like water too much…" She has a phobia of water? Wonder why? I glance back at the water, seeing as it could be a little too high for the filly, but it doesn't seem like much. She's scared of water…

I lifted up my right hoof and revealed it to her. "Don't worry… It's fine." I tried to comfort her as much as possible, which is hard due to my anxiety… But she is a filly. She has shown that she is nothing like a bully. "The water is not going to hurt you." She took a glance at the water for a second before looking back at the ground beside her, sucking in her lips fearfully. I sighed. We're not getting anywhere. And I'm slowly getting tired, and that's not a good thing. Actually… how can I be tired when all I really do is sleep? I… it's a thought for another time. Wait…

I halted and walked over beside her, lowering my back, sitting by her looking forward. "Get on." I say, as she looks at me with a puzzled expression.

"Huh?" She tilts her head as well.

"Get onto my back." I then clarify, hoping she would do as I softly say. "I'll take you across the water. You won't be afraid of it if you're on my back. It'll keep you safe." Though your only danger is your phobia. I doubt the tide of the stream is enough to affect her.

In a surprised manner, she gasped, beaming in excitement and relief. "R-Really?"

"Yes." I nod. She smiles from what I say, as she then jumps into my back. "We should hurry, though." I look up at the night sky, the moon staying exactly where it is. Or… did I just see it move? I think… It moved a tiny bit. I could feel the filly's body shake lightly as she lies on top of me, planting her hooves firmly around my neck, or my shoulders. I should release a few words of advice, so she is more confident than scared. Um… "Try not to look down. Keep your eyes up, towards the land over there. Or keep them closed. We'll get over there in no time." I try to say confidently. I don't know if it worked… but she stopped trembling, which is good.

"Okay." She responds in a muffled voice. Probably having her mouth in my coat or her hooves. I felt each small splash of water from the river as my hooves moves across the body of water. It didn't feel cold as I thought it would. It anything… it felt refreshing in a way. Now that I think about it, my heart hasn't been doing… anything. It hasn't raged at all since… I got out of my dream. Huh… I wonder why is isn't right now. And how does… the Princess know?

It didn't take long to get across, but the silence made it seem like a much longer time. The moon was still shining from above, my being able to see it's distorted reflection in the water. And… mine. I ignored that face in the water. I have other pressing matters to attend to.

We finally made it across after… a minute? I couldn't tell. I looked across at the filly, who moved her head up after noticing that I stopped moving. She made a sigh of relief. "It's safe now." I state, looking back at the river, the reflection being gone, but the moon's was still there, being clearer.

"Thank you so much…" She thanked, holding onto me tighter, as I assume she is… hugging me. A foal… was thankful for me. Another pony, for that matter. She must be a very kind foal, trusting random strangers like this. Only, she… well, she had no other… choice? Was I a threat to her? I… don't think so. It's best to get these thoughts out of my head.

I lowered myself for her to be able to jump off, but instead, she tugged me. "Actually…" She started off nervously. "Can I stay up here? It's more comfortable." She asked softly. I… don't see any problem with that. More comfortable? I'm… is my coat that soft? She must be tired…

"Alright. I don't mind." I say, looking back at the smiling foal. She hugs me even tighter… Humming in… delight. She's… happy in my presence. It… it may be forced… but, she is a foal… she is actually happy around me, as she attempts to move in a more comfortable position. She maybe be genuine… I don't know. The Princess wants be to trust other ponies… when they've been- all been so despicable to me? I… shouldn't judgement the Princess. I guess she knows what she is doing.

"Thank you so much!" She really does sound happy… Something that I can't ever feel… and probably won't ever. "Let's keep going!" She shouted enthusiastically. "I can feel home getting closer from here!" You… what? How? We are in the middle of the forest? You… live in the forest? I… doubt that. I released a very sincere confused look at her, where she is still smiling… cuddling me. I wish all ponies could be as kind as this little filly in the woods… though…

I didn't want to make her feel sad from what she is feeling right now, involuntarily. I just remained silent, with a lot of doubt at the very odd comment, and just continued walking, as she expressed joy in the form of an 'Hmm' sound. Walking… into the fog of the mossy trees everywhere. Still… why did she just say that she thinks were closer to her home?

A few minutes after first walking into the fog, which blocked some of my view but I still could have walked through 'fine' (why would dangerous animals pop out now?), where this new area was… tricky maybe. There was this old worn-down bridge that looks like it just been put back in place or something… above a giant pit. It was fully black down there, it was really deep. I… can't make out anything on the other side from here…

The bridge and the depth of the pit… I don't about this. This… kind of fears me. I may fall off the bridge, the bridge may s-snap at any point. I shudder at these thoughts… "There could be another way. Should we turn back?" The little filly suggested. Maybe we should… I studied the bridge and the area on the other side, as I remained silent for a few moments.

"I don't know. We might just get even more lost as it is…" Then again, going back wouldn't get us anywhere… I need to get over there…But, the bridge will collapse… But I need to get her home as quickly as possible…

"So… what do we do now?" My mind is telling me now to go… My mind was too cared of the drop below, and the bridge destroying under our weight… My hooves were also saying not to go, they are shaking uncontrollably… But then the Princess' words… my heart. My heart was… telling me to cross. She told me to believe in my heart… I… need to f-follow my h-heart… It's… she gave you hope. Why shouldn't I believe her words? Why would she lie?

"Let's go." I state, determined now. I could care less about whether we do drop or not. As long as this little filly is safe. I don't care.

Although, she seemed really surprised by my statement. "What? Are you sure you just don't want to turn back?" She sounds like she really cares for me… why? Sure, I'm protecting her… Nopony will ever be like this one… I'd be surprised if I ever meet another. Genuinely.

And… I and to face at least some of my fears… Some that I can actually conquer. I shake my head in refusal. "No. I don't want to be a coward, no more. I want to do anything I can to help for a good cause… that means get you safely back home." I gestured towards my back… before looking at the bridge ahead of me, hesitating. Do you really want to do this, Thomas? Y-yes…

Yes I do.

"Wow…" She expressed, pausing for a second before she decided to continue speaking. "You know… I believe in you…"

Yo-you… what? My eyes widen at those words, for good reason. She… somepony actually… believes in me…? Am… I must be dreaming right now. There's no way that she, or anypony, can believe in me. …Princess Celestia did. She told me to trust another pony. Now, a small pegasi filly believes in me… I… What do I say?

"…thank you…" I somehow muster. Somehow in some way… I felt like those words gave me… strength… that I can be confident in this choice. I slowly looked back at her, she was smiling even bigger now, maybe even… shedding a tear. I couldn't tell, it was too foggy. Still, even the danger we were about to go through, and she still is happy. Wish I was happy… confidence wouldn't make up for it. I nodded and turned around, glancing at the bridge before us.

I exhaled a heavy breath. Okay, you can do this. You have the strength to do so. For the little filly. I looked down at my hooves for a moment, as I placed my right one of the first wooden board. The bridge barely moved, which… was comforting. I felt the foal move as I kept taking steps onto the bridge, with it sway lightly. Cautiously, I kept moving over the boards, one hoof after another, as we were slowly making it.

Suddenly, the bridge swayed more violently now, as I clung on both of the ropes on the side, shaking in the fear of falling. I started to panic. The depth of the pit. How dark it is down there. How sturdy the bridge is. This was a bad idea. Now, it was bad. I shouldn't have gone through with this. No. No.

"Hey," She caught my attention, noticing how panicky I was getting, probably. "It's okay. It's okay." She stroked my mane. Is she… calming me down? She kept stroking while repeating those words. I… it was somewhat working. "Don't worry now, just don't look down." She then told me, making me look back at her. She was still smiling, only it looked like it was in the form of a comforting one. "I believe in you." She must be. I don't think she is lying. Her making a mall giggle also helped… calmed me. She must really see something inside of me. It makes me feel… better than I usually am. But not happy. Still…

"T-Thanks…" I nodded back at her as she then rubs her head into the back of my neck, doing my best to not look down. She really is taking this better than I am. At least she isn't feeling the same way… when I was her age… that I felt. This filly really is something… she's counting on me. The bridge stopped swaying now and returned to a semi-still state. I took another breath and sternly I kept walking across, being less-nervous than before as somepony… believes in me.

I was carefully progressing through this entire ordeal, eyeing the green grass on the other side. Seemed much safer than on this one. Instead of thinking about the deadly depths below me, I actually thought about my goal. I was doing it. I was winning… somehow. My confidence actually paid off with something. I continued mentally encouraging myself by realizing how closer I was getting and that I would be there in… no time.

I've never felt like this before, not that I can remember. I feel better, most definitely, than this morning when I was sulking in fear, or dreading. Now, I feel more relaxed as I feel this confident. Is this what it feels like? Feels… feels… I… don't know… I wouldn't know how it feels. This is a new thing for me.

"You're almost there!" She shouted out in joy, as I was at the last few boards now. I released a light breath as I continued stepping forward… having some hope inside of me that wants me to push forwards. Maybe it was my heart… it wasn't burning, ever since I saw the filly… I wonder why…?

The grass felt very soft and… maybe comforting as I touched my hooves onto it. The creeks from the bridge weren't heard anymore. I felt much calmer. I… actually won. I fought against a fear, and won. Wow… so this is what real success feels like… overcoming the odds… of walking over a bridge. Damn. Somehow I always manage to dampen myself, my own feelings. I may have felt good there… but what does 'good' feel like?

"Yay! You did it!" The little filly exclaimed, jumping off my back now, going up and down in joy. I sighed in relief. Walking across the bridge was over now… The fog was also starting to clear up, as I could make… out some sort of ruins… wait. It looks more… like the ruins of a castle. An ancient-like castle, to be exact. Wait… wasn't this the castle the lavender unicorn was talking about?

No, must be a coincidence. "Yeah…" I return to the filly, distracted for a moment. It couldn't be the castle they were talking about. Could it? Actually… here's something to think about. I never really got the young filly's name. I wonder why I never thought about it till now… "Hey, filly." I call out to her, who stopped jumping up and down excitedly. "What is your name?"

"My name?" She asks, tilting her head. I nod in response. "My name…" Now she pauses, looking away for a moment. I hear her mutter something that I could barely hear. I raise an eyebrow. Is this foal ashamed of her name too?

"Hey, hey," I attempt to comfort the pegasi, placing my left hoof on her right shoulder. "It's alright… You don't have to tell me." She was shaking in fear. She must really be scared of her name…

"It's Amy." She then suddenly said, making me spin around in surprise. Her name was… "My name is Amy." Amy… It's kind of like mine. Different from the rest. It… her name didn't actually match her personality, of being kind and such. It was an outcast name. I knew the feeling of why she would be ashamed… She then got over her sadness, before asking a question. "Please… could you not tell anypony…?" Amy asked quietly.

"Sure, I promise." I state before receiving another hug, with her attitude changing from sadness to happiness pretty quickly… and oddly.

"Thank you!" She then pulled back after half a second, while I was frozen in place from her actions. She… really is something. I think my heart… "Don't worry now! We're here!" We're here? Here as in where? We are at the ruins of an ancient castle… This isn't your home… is it?

"Um…" I didn't know what to say. She… is really confusing. But still better than the pink mare. They are kind of similar in some aspects, which I'd rather forget. The pink mare wouldn't leave me alone… "Yeah…" I shook my head, attempting to compose myself. "We still need to get you home. And I don't think-

She then cut me off. "What? No! This is home!" W-What? I'm really puzzled now. How… how is this your home? A castle in the middle of a supposed 'dangerous' forest. "Don't worry…" She then walked up to me, when I noticed she was getting a little teary. "We'll meet again one day, Thomas. You will get your answers then…" W-what!? How does she know my name!? I didn't even tell her… Is this some game that I'm not aware of? "Thank you, again…" She then said before…

Everything starting flashing white again. I think I heard her say something, before my vision was covered in this bright light. Ow! I can't see…

"If I may ask, sir? What will happen if your plan backfires? I mean… some things may not go according to plan… and he may go…"

"Insane? Crazy? I doubt that he will. And I hope that he won't. If some things go off track… Then we may have to resort…" To something that I would only do if necessary. 'Plan D.'"

"'P-P-Pl-Plan D-D'!? N-No- S-Sir! I-I wouldn't go-

"I'm aware of the negatives of the Plan, Commander. The Captains and I have agreed that Plan D will be in effect if my main plans don't work. It is our fall-back plan. Ever since Operation Silent Bloodhound, I'm been informed that things… let's say, they will go our way.".

"How much longer do we have to wait?"

"A long time. But soon enough, Commander. We shall wait until then."

A star

A moon without a picture

A planet

"It is only a matter of when and how. Only a matter of time…"