Lonely

I can't speak for long. I'm sorry. It's just... this has been quite the overwhelming experience for me. All the stories I've been through...

They're so nice. They're so kind. I... don't know how they are persuading me to make me believe I can truly trust them. It's been more than a year since I touched a hoof on this book. Diary. Cluster of papers... I'm still not happy, I think. Still haven't smiled or anything. I've... noticed things.

I'm a bit more talkative. Or, a lot. It's the mares that surround me that I blame. I don't trust them with my personal life yet. They've asked me numerous questions, but I'm obviously too afraid to ask anything.

I've changed in the space of a year. I've forgotten... for so long... I've never felt this emotion before. It can't be happiness... Or is it even an emotion...?

I'm having fun.

This... no I can't.

I've been rather forced to go around pranking with Dash and Pinkie... I've been calling them by shortened nicknames now... And it's... cruel, yet somehow satisfying in a way. Not enough, not even close, to make me smile. But... it's progress I suppose.

Will I ever write in this again? I'll come back to it one day. I... am so exhaused with everything that has just gone. That was... one memorable party. Never seen so much smiling faces heading my way...

I hope I can write in this book again. I have hope now...

I've changed minimally. I don't fear being betrayed... entirely yet. The possibility is always looming over my head. It won't ever leave. Although... I'm terrified to try this... If I let my guard down for one day. Just one. What will happen? Can I... trust them, my six closest 'friends' like never before? Or... will they destroy what's left of my rebuilding heart?

I don't know. But I can say this, before I leave... I like Dash.