Designation: Android Sixteen

Initiating: Full system reboot.

Processing…

Updates: Self-termination protocol halted.

Status report: All systems activated.

Initiating: Survival protocols.

Initial visual report: Surrounding area contains unfamiliar trees. Land and nearby structures belong to category ‘farm’. Trees lead into thicker forest. Current position is sitting on ground.

Motor skills: Rise to feet to further observe surrounding area.

Report assessment: Location does not fit continuity. Relocation

Inquiry: Critical damage sustained. Systems operational?

Report: (Error 518: unknown activation cause)

Inquiry: Purpose for new location? List primary objectives.

Objective: (Error 9001: objective not found)

Inquiry: Possible change to objective prior to move?

Report: Affirmative. Primary purpose erased prior to critical damage.

Command: Assess threat level.

Visual report: Local fauna movement of single off-colored equine, unknown bird movement in sky. No immediate threat in current environment.

Command: Scan area for possible threats.

Threat level: Minimal. Local fauna power levels negligible. Range of zero to 2,500. No human power levels located.

Command: Expand search.

Threat level: Negligible. Power level of 500,000 in the distance. Potential maximum power unknown. Next highest power level amongst population is 100,000.

Command: Search for previously recorded subjects in database.

Report: No known subjects present.

Command: Recall location.

Location report: (Error  2401: location not found)

Spatial awareness: Surrounding area now recorded in uncharted map. Possible reshaped Earth. Further assessment required.

Inquiry: Database damaged upon destruction?

Report: All files accounted for. No damage accounted for.

Inquiry: Status of companions?

Report: Subjects #17-18 status unknown. Bio-android status unconfirmed.

Inquiry: Probability of allied success?

Report: 68.325% with previous calculations in effect.

Report assessment: Earth will be fine. Self-termination by Cell both successful and failure. Systems operational, though termination was achieved. Unknown reason for discrepancy.

Command: Prioritize survival. Make primary objective.

Objective updated: Survive.

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown source’, “Hey, I don’t remember Granny Smith or Big Macintosh adding no big green scarecrow. Especially not something so…weird.”

Visual report: One meter ahead at knee height is previously noted equine. Physical traits include off-colored orange fur and blonde mane similar to subject #18’s.

Motor skills: Crane neck down to observe equine further.

Inquiry: Did the equine speak? Databanks do not ascribe this trait to such animals—

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “Woah nelly! It’s moving!”

Power level: 25. Negligible untapped potential. No threat posed.

Visual report: Unknown orange equine turns to run. They quickly cross the field and head for a nearby structure.

Report assessment: The equine just spoke and reacted to my movement with fear. Is it sapient? Are there others?

Command: Sense for other equines within 10 kilometers.

Report: Nearby herd to the north-east in town like settlement.

Report assessment: Equines with speaking capabilities may assist in explaining current predicament, despite low power levels.

Motor skills: Approach the structure ‘unknown orange equine’ ran to.

Visual report: The door to the structure (possible residence center) is knocked open as ‘unknown orange equine’ leaps out with fervor. In its mouth is a rake, which it points at me as I continue to approach.

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “Git, whatever you are! We don’t need no more monsters around here!”

Definition “monster”: a strange or horrible imaginary creature.

Definition assessment: Large size and obviously unfamiliar features would indeed cause some beings to be apprehensive.

Situation assessment: Any attempt to repel me will end in the equine harming itself. That would be unfortunate.

Motor skills: Movement halted and arms raised in symbolic peace gesture.

Dialogue response: “I mean you no harm. I only wish to inquire about the land.”

Visual report: ‘Unknown orange equine’ takes a step back on its porch, seemingly shocked by my speaking. I could say the same about its own speech, although I have been programmed to have a much higher threshold to surprise. It lowers the rake to the ground slowly before raising to its full height.

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “Y-you can talk?”

Motor skills: I nod and move my lips so that they form a smile. Best to appear ‘friendly’ so as to not startle the creature again.

Visual report: The equine sighs and shakes its head, though given its newfound lack of hostility I believe I have succeeded in earning a small level of trust.

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “Okay, well ah’ve never seen anythin’ like you, so you stay here for now, okay? I’ll be back in a couple-a minutes.”

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “So this here is the…thing I found. What is it?”

Chronometer: Unknown time, passage of 27 minutes and 52.91 seconds since request to stay still.

Initial visual report: previous equine has returned with second equine of similar size yet different build. Second subject possesses yellow fur and pink mane.

Command: Recall equine coloration from database and compare with nearby equines.

Report: No matches found.

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown yellow equine’, “Oh, my, I’ve never seen something quite like it. What do you think it is, Applejack?”

Subject added: Applejack, previously known as ‘unknown orange equine’.

Power level: 5. No untapped potential. No threat posed.

Threat warning: Dismissed.

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown yellow equine’, “Hi, I’m Fluttershy. What’s your name?”

Subject added: Fluttershy, previously known as ‘unknown yellow equine’.

Model information: Retrieving file…

Report: Synthetic Android Sixteen. Creator Doctor Gero of the Red Ribbon Army-

Report assessment: Information extraneous.

Dialogue response: “My designation is Android 16.”

Inquiry: Possibility of native androids on planet?

Calculating: Variables being assessed.

Report: Inconclusive results. More data required.

Inquiry: Estimated probability of native android on planet?

Report: 0.01% probability.

Auditory report from subject ‘Fluttershy’: “Oh wow, you even speak our language! I’m so happy I can communicate with you. I’ve never seen anything like you before!”

Dialogue response: “And I have never met a talking equine before today.”

Inquiry: Are talking equines ‘fun’ or ‘cool’?

Report: Further data required. Will observe for sake of companions. ‘Fun’ wheeled vehicles nearby will be recorded for subject #17.

Auditory report from subject ‘Fluttershy’: “You’ve never met a pony that talks before?”

Visual report: Subject displays slack jawed expression linked to surprise and/or shock. Subject Applejack has departed but is lingering nearby building they originally exited. Power sensors compensating for lack of view for Applejack for subject is standing behind visual range.

Inquiry: Talking equine information in database?

Report: No matches found.

Motor skills: Nod to conversational partner to signify agreement.

Dialogue response: “Affirmative. The only data I have is of non-speaking equines. I am from a…”

Inquiry: Probability of native to unknown planet knowing name of Earth?

Report: Likelihood low but incalculable given lack of data.

Dialogue response continuation: “…different place.”

Auditory report from subject ‘Fluttershy’: “I can only imagine. I was going to go back home to feed Angel, my baby bunny. Do you want to come with me? When we get back maybe I can find a way to help you get comfortable here?”

Inquiry: Likelihood of negative outcome concerning speaking equines?

Report: Likelihood low but incalculable given lack of data.

Objective updated: Follow ‘Fluttershy’ to residence. Subject appears helpful and poses no threat.

Report: Trust levels set to ‘High’ for subject ‘Fluttershy’. Are you sure you want to override previous status of ‘Unknown’?

Command: Overwrite. Equine assistance necessary. No threat posed of being injured or dismantled.

Dialogue response: “Thank you. Your kindness is appreciated.”

Command: Add ‘Fluttershy’ to list of priority protected entities.

Seventeen…Eighteen…

Report: Motor skills displayed facial expression of ‘pain’ despite no physical harm.

Command: Ignore report.

—why are you still here—

—we’re the three amigos—

—I like you—

Report: Unqualified dialogue of unknown origin. Assessing—

Report:           (Err_r 0000:                                   Sys_e————————————————__——————————————————————————wwww——————————————————————————————————————