Author's Note
I appreciate any feedback given, this is my first fanfiction anyone has ever seen.
Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
I'm done bottling all this up. It's tearing me up inside, gnawing at the back of my brain, craving the attention every secret desires. I can only hope writing this will stop the pain in my chest...
My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie, and I've killed nine ponies to date.
Shocked? You shouldn't be. All the signs point to me. Motives, no alibi, I was even at the scene of the crime once! Nopony even seems to consider for a moment that it was me, that I would even be capable of it.
I would admit to everything. Scream it at the top of my lungs, “I did it! I killed them! Take me away, Copper's!” but I'm afraid. Not so much of the death penalty, it's a little more complicated than that. You see, I'm the Element of Laughter, a guardian of Equestria. What would happen if I died? Would the Elements be useless? Would Equestria fall? The princesses are powerful yes, But if they could solve everything, why are we always doing all the work? Can I even use the Element anymore? There is a lot of “I don't knows” That I want to figure out before I... well, before I die. If I've already confessed then I probably figured out everything, or I've just given up.
I have killed so many ponies. Why? Well, it was an accident. Well, okay only the first two... and the seventh... It might be easier if I just start from the beginning.
It was another bright and sunny day in Ponyville. Birds chirping, fillies laughing, ponies smiling, hardly a scene for a murder right? Well, I say murder, but it was technically ruled as self deference...I'm off topic. Anyways, I was out on errands for the Cakes, we needed more sugar, flour, eggs, milk... I'm off topic again... I was at Carrot Top's stall in the market, buying fresh carrots for carrot cake and discussing how the family was doing, when I noticed a group of sketchy looking stallions off of the way a little bit. I was content on just ignoring them and continuing on my way, tell I heard
“Eep!”
I recognized the sound instantly. Flutter Shy was at the center of the group of stallions. My blood boiled as I noticed the advances on her. One of them in particular, a thin blue one with black hair and goatee (I can't recall his name, as I was to disgusted to learn it), was almost on top of her.
“-No need to be afraid of us! Were all friends here!” he said. Flutter shy just tried to hide her face behind her mane further, mumbling something incoherent.
“Back off, Now.” came dryly from my throat. I was just as startled by it as the group. I didn't even realize I had moved closer to the group.
“Oh, hey Pinkie!” said the blue one, not bothering to step back from Flutter Shy. “We were just having a little fun with Shy here, why don't you j-”
“Doesn't look like Flutter Shy is having fun to me.” I stared directly into his eyes, he flinched.
“Oh, you know her... Shy and all that-”
“I do know her,” I cut him off again. “and I can tell when she's not having fun. I'm going to tell you again, Back Off.”
That must have really pissed him off. Apparently I wasn't as stupid as he thought I was.
“Look here, you little-”
“I said Back Off.” I wasn't going to let him get a word in edge wise. Quite possibly a mistake on my part, because just as I shout my mouth, there was a hoof in my face.The blow sent me back a couple of paces and stunned me. It hurt, but I walked away from worse, being the way I was. Blood ran from my snout and fell to the ground.
The fact I didn't go down with the first blow seemed to confuse the blue one, so I used the opportunity to give him a good old apple buck to the face.
He fell significantly farther than I did, stumbling backwards tell he tripped on a lose rock. The rest seemed to happen in slow motion. I watched in complete horror as the back of his neck struck a small bin, making a sickly crack sound. The stallions stared at there friend, wide eyed. I think Flutter Shy screamed. I however just stood there, motionless, thoughtlessly. The rest of the day was a blur. The blue stallion was checked into the Ponyville hospital, he fell in and out of consciousness tell he eventually went into a coma. They took me and Flutter Shy in for questioning, which got them nothing from either of us. One of the stallions must have said that I assaulted him or something, because they held me at the station for a day. I was released the next day on the account that several witnesses testified that it was self deference. Three days later, he died.
None of that is what matters right now though... Well it dose, but thats not the point of this story. The point is I didn't care. I didn't care that a pony was dead because of me. I didn't care that someponies were mourning the death of a friend or family member. All I thought about was how Flutter Shy was traumatized by it, and how much I felt justified for killing him.
When I first realized how I felt, I threw up. I was sick to my stomach for a week, beat myself up, not because I killed him, but because how I felt about killing him. Eventually I got over it.
The second pony I killed (again this one was on accident!), was one of the other stallions from the group that the blue one was from. I think his name was Sparky... Stary err Stary Sky? Something like that. Anyways, about a week later he confronted in front of Sugar Cube Corner.
“You Killed Him!” “It Was All Your Fault!” “You Should Be Hung!” He went on and on. I just stared at my hooves, tears forming in my eyes. Again, not because the stallion was dead, but because I could feel the hurt in Berry's voice. It stung, but I could also feel the malice, the raw hatred and the fear. He had a crazed look in his eyes, and started to fear for my life. He stepped closer, now spitting the words into my face. I was done with this. I shoved him back away from me, and screamed, “leave me alone!”
As he fell backwards, a lightning bolt stuck him directly on the forehead. Apparently Rainbow Dash noticed the commotion and had wanted to scar him off with a warning lightning bolt, only for her plan to go horribly wrong. He was dead instantly.
The official reports say “freak weather accident”, but just about everyone knew what happened. This time I was shaken up about the whole thing, but I was more worried about Rainbow Dash. She was devastated. She locked her self into her home, not that it could physically stop anypony, it was more of a principle kind of thing. Anyways, it was a long time tell she returned to her usual bold self.
