Rebirth

“Mark Cleveland.” Epona’s voice says. “Are you enjoying your stay in Equestria so far?” It’s been a while since I’ve heard Epona’s voice. After hearing that song with her name in it, it’s also kind of weird. I realize that the singer’s voice kind of resembles Epona’s, but slightly deeper.

“Yes I have, Epona. Literally every pony I’ve seen is cute. All of the Elements. Lyra. That dentist, Colgate. The blacksmith, Hammer.”

“Am I included?” Epona asks. I can’t tell if she’s joking or not.

“Cute? Yeah, I would say so.” She seems to blush. The atmosphere in this realm is kind of messing with my vision, so I can’t exactly tell. Now, it seems to blur Epona’s face enough so I can’t tell any of her emotions.

“Thank you, Mark Cleveland.” Epona says, bowing her head slightly.

“Oh, before you go. I was sick today.”

“I have noticed. I can say honestly that I aided in your recovery. I don’t wish for you to spend your days in Equestria sick.”

“Agreed. Down with the sickness.”

“Indeed, Mark. Sickness is terrible. There are gods that are sickness ponified.”

“Ponified? Is that like personified?”

She tilts her head slightly. Her eyes light up for a second. Her head returns to its original position. “Yes, Mark Cleveland. You will have to get used to the vocabulary that I, and the Equestrians, use.”

“I’ve been trying to. They’ve been helping me out.”

“Do or do not, Mark Cleveland.” She says. She doesn’t say it like how Yoda did. “Trying means nothing. Do or do not.”

“Yes, Epona. I will.” I say.

Epona nods. Her eyes light up and my vision fades to black.

When I wake up, unlike yesterday, I don’t feel like I have to throw up. Despite this, there are a few bottles of medicine with a piece of paper next to them.

Just in case.
-AJ

The note has terrible handwriting. It takes me a solid minute to identify the letters. It’s probably because ponies don’t exactly have hands. How do they even write? I guess they use their mouths.

Now that I think about it, how do these ponies do what they do without hands at all? I get how unicorns and alicorns get by, but what about pegasi and earth ponies?

Thinking about that is going to give me a migraine, so I push the thought from my mind.

I get out of bed and into the kitchen. Fluttershy has already finished making food. She’s living up to her Element. I mean, picking up a strange alien creature and letting it live in your house is pretty nice. It’s also arguably pretty stupid. What if the alien’s like General Grievous?

I push that thought from my mind too. I would want to see General Grievous in Equestria. It wouldn’t end well.

God, I need to put my brain on a leash. It wouldn’t get lost in itself so much.

The food Fluttershy made, like always, is amazing. “Oh, before you go, Mark. There’s something I need to give you. You’re going to be moving out soon…” Fluttershy sounds almost depressed. I really want to hug her now. I mean, more than I wanted to before. Nothing is cuter than something already deemed cute being slightly depressed. “So… I’ve had a key to my house made for you. You can use it whenever you need to. Or want to. If that’s okay with you, I mean.”

“It’s okay with me.” I say. She lets out a breath of what I assume to be relief. Her wings also unfold. “Thanks for trusting me, Fluttershy. You’re a great friend.”

She smiles. “You are, too. I’ve only known you for a few days. I almost don’t want you to leave yet.”

“I won’t be leaving yet, Flutters. I’m still here.”

“You won’t be for long.”

“You make it sound like I’m moving out of the country. I’m just going to be moving out of the house. I’ll still be in Ponyville.”

Fluttershy starts to calm down a bit. “You’re right… I’m sorry.”

“What’s there to be sorry for, Fluttershy? I get it. You care about me. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I care about you.” To prove my point, and to satisfy some desires, I get out of the chair and hug the pegasus.

Her fur is soft, like a pillow filled with feathers. Combined with the mild and comfortable warmth she radiates, I could use her as a pillow. She smells of chickens and, although faintly, strawberries. The combination is like my own little piece of heaven.

The hug eventually breaks. “You’re so… cold…” Fluttershy notices.

“Humans don’t have coats.” I explain. “And you’re so hot.”

Fluttershy blushes. I’m sure I do, too. That was an accidental pickup line. “Well… thank you, Mark.” She says after a short, painful silence.

“Hot in that warm way. I mean temperature. You have a high body heat.” I try to say quickly. It doesn’t seem to work. I feel like I’m about to die from embarrassment. “I mean, you’re cute and all, but…”

Instead of brutally murdering me, Fluttershy just smiles. Her mercy is cruel. “It’s okay, Mark. I understand what you mean. Y-You’re of a different species.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Well, I’m gonna go out for a walk.”

“Can I join?”

“Yeah. You don’t have to ask. If you want to walk with me, join me. There might be some times where I want to be alone.” I say to her after standing up. “That’s only when I’m really depressed, though. Equestria’s so happy that I don’t think that’ll happen.”

“I hope it doesn’t. I’d hate to see you sad.”

“It takes a lot to get me that sad.”

I open the door and allow Fluttershy to enter first. Is it chivalry? Nope. It’s noble. Since I’ve got the goddess of nobility, among other things, I’m kind of forced to be noble. It’s pretty easy. I’ve been like that on Earth.

The two of us walk along the outskirts of Ponyville. We stay out of Everfree. Fluttershy, when we first met, told me it’s scary in there. I’ve never been very fond of being scared. Despite that, Halloween’s always been one of my favorite holidays. I guess it’s just stopped being scary. I mean, unless people dressing up as fairy princesses is scary.

Eventually, we wander over towards Sweet Apple Acres. I remember something I told Applejack yesterday. “Fluttershy, I told Applejack that I was going to help around the farm when I got better. So…”

She nods reluctantly. She looks down. “I understand… I’ll go back home.” She starts to turn away.

Dammit. I think I made her sad. She’s gone before I get the chance to tell her I didn’t mean it like that. Should I stay here or should I go and get her?

...I can go back to Fluttershy once I’m done here. I doubt it’ll take long.

I walk into the farm. Applejack notices and trots up to me. “Hiya, Mark. What’s up?” I notice she’s breathing heavily. There’s a bead of sweat on her forehead.

“I was just walking around the neighborhood with Fluttershy. We just parted ways.” I explain. “I was wondering if I could help out around the farm.”

“Yeah, you can. Ah was just takin’ a break from buckin’ trees. Have yah ever bucked a tree before?”

“I don’t even know what tree bucking is.”

She looks at me with a puzzled look on her face. “So how did humans get apples offa trees?”

“We just picked them one by one.” I say.

“That must take days.”

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never worked on a farm before. Well, not out on the field. I did work with a race horse once, though. I wasn’t it’s trainer or anything. I just helped feed the horse.”

“Was it fast?”

I shrug. “I guess so. He wasn’t a Secretariat.”

Applejack stops walking. At first I think it’s because of what I said. Then I realize we’re at the base of a tree. It has a few buckets at its base. “Well, Ah don’t know what Secretariat is.”

“He was a fast horse. I’m not an expert on horse racing. He ran around a 2-ish kilometer track in less than two minutes.”

Applejack lets out a low whistle. “No wings, either. Damn. That’s pretty fast. Tell RD about ‘im.”

I chuckle at the thought. “She’d be more interested in Secretariat than she is in the Wonderbolts. I don’t actually know much about Secretariat, so I probably shouldn’t.”

“It’d prob’ly be a good idea tah mention ‘im at least, though.”

“Maybe I will. So, how do ponies buck trees?”

“Like this.” She rears up her back half. She loads up her rear legs like a spring. They unleash, hitting the tree with so much force that I wouldn’t be surprised if it broke. The tree actually wobbles. Damn. This pony is strong. I shouldn’t get her mad at me.

Adding to the awesomeness I just witnessed, all of the apples in the tree fall out and into the buckets. They’re also perfectly filled up.

“Did you plan that?” I ask once the shock wears off.

Applejack chuckles softly. The blush on her face is faint. “Nope. It’s just luck.”

I don’t know if I can believe that. “If you say so.” I walk over to a nearby tree with apples in it. “So, I just kick it? That’s not how we got apples off trees back on Earth.”

“So how’d yah do it?”

I shrug. “Like I said, I wasn’t a farmer. We just picked them one by one.”

“That must take days! With buckin’, the entire farm can be cleared in a day or two.” Applejack says, beaming with pride.

“Yeah, it takes a while. I’m pretty sure most farms have more than one able-bodied worker, though.” I point out. “I think we’ve got machines that can help, too.”

Applejack puts on a pained face, like she just remembered something horrible. “Like those barbershop goons…” She says. I ask what she means. She tells me about these two guys that tried to take over the farm.

“They sound like assholes.” I say once the story is over.

“Eh. They were. They were nice singers, though.”

“I would have to be the judge of that.” I kick the tree. My foot bounces off without knocking off a single apple. I also hear something in my knee pop. It hurts a bit, but I can ignore it.

“Y’okay?” Applejack asks. She probably heard my mild injury.

“Yep.” I say without taking my eyes off the tree. Just kicking it from here won’t work. Maybe a running kick…

I take a few steps back, then sprint for the tree. At a meter away from it, I jump and kick the tree with both feet. I fall to the ground face first. To say the least, it hurts like a bitch.

Adding insult to injury, an apple falls on my head. It’s also the only apple that falls off. “I’ll just stick to picking apples.” I say, pulling my face from the ground. I pull a leaf from my cheek.

Applejack tries not to laugh. She fails. I’m sure if I was in her hooves, I’d be doing the same. I stand back up. “Y’okay?”

“I’ve been better.” I admit. I pick up the apple that I knocked off. “Did I at least look cool?”

“For a second there, yeah.” Applejack says. “It kinda went downhill after you fell on your face.”

I chuckle at my own failure. AJ joins me. “I guess that makes it good, then.” The soft laughter stops in a few seconds. “Do I have any cuts on my face?”

“Uh… yeah. A few.” Applejack says. She observes my face. “Yep. You’ve got some cuts. Ah’m no expert, but those’ll prob’ly scar.”

“They wouldn’t be the first scars I’ve gotten from doing stupid things.” I sigh and sit up. “They probably won’t be the last, either.” I stand up. “So… Do you have any different tips for getting apples out of trees? Or is there something else I can do to help around the farm?”

“From what just happened, apple buckin’s prob’ly not fer yah. The barn needs some paintin’ done.” Applejack says.

“I can paint. It’d also give me more of a chance to meet the rest of the Apples.” I’d like to meet her parents.

I follow the country mare to the barn. It’s not very big. My house back in Seattle was bigger. Applejack heads off somewhere and comes back with a few buckets of paint and some brushes balanced perfectly on her back. I take them off.

Applejack opens up the buckets with her mouth. The color of the paint is red. Like most stereotypical American barns.

The two of us paint the barn over a period of about two hours. She takes care of the bottom half of the barn and I take care of the top.

The air is starting to get hot. Having lived north in a rainy area, I’m not exactly used to, or a fan of, the heat. So I take off my shirt. Even a blind man could see Applejack staring at them the way she’s staring at me. I’m guessing it’s either because I’m just really sexy, or because she hasn’t seen me without a shirt yet and is just studying my body. I’m going to go with the former.

“Yah might wanna show yourself to Twilight.” She says to me. Dammit. I guess it was the latter.

“Yeah, I probably will. That Lyra girl would probably want to see me, too.”

Applejack chuckles. “Yep. She might wanna see a bit more, if yah catch mah drift.”

“I think I do.” I say. The thought of being naked in front of a creature with a fascination with humans is a little more than uncomfortable. After all, it’s both illegal and a serious taboo on Earth. It’s only been a few days and I’m still getting used to Equestria. Especially the talking ponies. It helps that they’re all very human.

Eventually, we finish painting the barn. I put my shirt on and follow Applejack to the farmhouse. Inside, there are three ponies at a table, all looking away from me. A large stallion with what looks like a wooden collar around his neck, an old mare, and a young filly without a cutie mark.

“I’m back. Brought a friend, too.” Applejack says. The three turn around. They’re a bit more than mildly surprised to see something twice their size, four times in the filly’s case.

“Hi.” I say. “I’m a friend of Applejack’s. Before you ask, I’m a human. Not an ape. My name is Mark Cleveland.”

“Well, any friend of Applejack’s is a friend of mine.” The older one says. “Aren’t humans myths?”

“Not anymore.” I say. If the context of that was different, that would have been pretty badass. I’ll have to remember to use that line later.

The big stallion turns to Applejack. “What’d yah two do?” He asks. He almost sounds depressed.

“Painted the barn.” Applejack says. She sits at the table. “You gonna join us for lunch, Mark?”

Lunch already? Damn. I skipped breakfast. “I don’t have a reason to say no. I’d like to, if it’s okay with all of you.”

“Yep.” The stallion says. The older mare and filly nod.

I sit between Applejack and the stallion. “So, what are all of your names?” They answer me. The older mare is Granny Smith, which I should have expected. The stallion is Big Mac. The filly is Apple Bloom.

The lunch is made entirely out of apples. I’m talking applesauce, apple juice, and even apple pie. Who eats pie at lunch? Apparently the Apple family does. Probably Pinkie, too. Although, she, despite her last name being ‘Pie’, seems to be more of a fan of cake.

“So what’s that ‘round yer neck?” Apple Bloom asks.

“Headphones. They’re used to play music from the little speakers inside them. It doesn’t hurt, depending on how loud I play the music.” I explain.

“Oh, have yah talked to Vinyl Scratch yet?” Applejack asks.

A DJ? In Equestria? This place feels like it’s in the 1600’s. They’ve never heard of headphones, but they’ve got disc jockeys. If my English teacher lived here, he’d have a heart attack from this anachronism personified. Is it a personification if it’s part of a land? There’s a reason why I didn’t do very good in English. “Not yet. Where is he?”

“She lives in Ponyville.” Applejack says. A female DJ, too? I’ll be honest, I’ve never heard of a female DJ. I should have seen it coming from a place with a female to male ratio of around 10:1. “Ah dunno her address, though. You’ll know Vinyl when you see her.”

“Alright. I’ll keep an eye out.” I say. We finish the food. Shortly after lunch, I talk to Applejack outside. “Was that everypony that lives here?” I ask, having the parents in mind.

“Yep.” Applejack says with a sigh. Oh.

Oh…

“Okay, then.” I say, ignoring what was implied. It wasn’t really an implication, though. With just that one word, I know her parents are dead. I don’t know old Applejack is, but it must have been tough. Especially tough for Apple Bloom…

“There are reunions, though, if yah wanna go to one.” She says, taking me from my thoughts. Thank you, Applejack.

“Maybe. I’ve never been to a family reunion, so I wouldn’t know what to expect.”

“Yah’ve never been to a family reunion?”

“Nope. Most of my family was in a 50-ish kilometer radius. We’ve never really moved around.” I explain. “Although, before I came to Equestria,” Applejack puts another pained look on her face, remembering that I died before getting here, “I had plans on moving to a different city. The one I lived in was very rainy. I wanted to live in a warmer area with less rain.”

“Rain can be tough. What was the place like?”

“Huge. Bigger than Canterlot and Ponyville combined.” Applejack gasps. “The place I wanted to live was over twice as big as where I used to live.”

“Celestia…”

“Yep. Earth has some pretty big cities.” I say. “The buildings were pretty damn tall, too. The tallest one in the world, in a city about four times the size of where I wanted to move,” Applejack almost faints, “was a little over 800 meters.” Applejack is speechless.

“...You know a lot about buildings.”

I shrug. “It’s kind of common knowledge back on Earth. Not a lot of my friends knew the heights of buildings, though.” Of course, most of my friends were idiots. The rest of them were either high or drunk half of the time. I seem to attract a lot of people like that.