Rebirth

Shortly after lunch with the Apple family, I leave Sweet Apple Acres for Ponyville. I don't have an exact destination in mind. I should probably check up on Pinkie Pie. I haven't been giving her nearly as much attention as I have to the other Elements.

Once I make it to Sugarcube Corner, I am tempted to knock on the door. It may be a public building, but ponies do live here. Ignoring habit, I enter the store. "Hi, Markie!" A high pitched voice belonging to a certain pink earth pony says, piercing through my headphones. I take them off. Pinkie, who just spoke, is behind the counter. Nopony else is in the lobby.

"Hey, Pinkie." I say to her. "Is there any chance I could work here for a day or two? I just want to help around. There's no reason to pay me."

"Yep!" Pinkie says. I think she's cursed to always sound happy. It might not be a curse, though. "Just jump on back here!"

"No papers or anything I have to sign?"

"Not if you don't want to be payed." She says, further proving that I'm really far from Earth. I've always hated signing papers, so I can live with this.

"Alright." I say. I slide over the countertop like I'm in a 70's TV show. The landing makes it seem like I'm in a parody of a 70's TV show. For the second time in a few hours, I land on my face.

"Are you okay?" Pinkie asks. That's the first time I've heard her in a tone that isn't 100% happy. This tone is at least 20% worried.

"Don't worry. This isn't the first time I've fallen on my face today." I stand up. "Wanna know how I got these cuts?" I say. I explain the mildly embarrassing story to Pinkie. Pinkie laughs at my failure. It is pretty damn funny, so I join her.

The chime of a bell interrupts us. A dark violet unicorn mare with a dark green mane walks in. When she locks eyes with me, she smiles widely. "Dear Celestia, the human is here!" She almost faints. "C-Can I get your autograph?"

An… autograph? I get that I'm the only human in Equestria, but an autograph? Damn. I'm famous for doing nothing. I should change my last name to Kardashian.

"Uh… Yeah. To who?" I pull out my pen. For some reason, I didn't leave it at Fluttershy's.

The unicorn gasps in surprised. "M-M-Moonshine. My friends call me Shine."

Moonshine. Like the drink. "Okay, Shine. Do you have anything for me to sign?" I ask. That rhyme was unintentional. She's too starstruck to answer. I never expected anybody, and definitely not anypony, to be starstruck over me. "Didn't have anything prepared?"

"No… Uh… Can you sign my horn?" She asks. There's a noticeable blush on her cheeks, especially since her coat color is a severe contrast to the pink color of the blush.

"Yes I can. Just get closer so I can actually reach it." Shine does and she leans her head towards me, pointing her horn at my face. If she took a step closer, it would be in my neck. I tap her horn with the pen. She almost falls to her knees. "Y'okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. It's just…" She trails off.

"Just what?"

"Nothing!" She says quickly.

"If it's nothing, why'd you almost fall?"

"I didn't expect it to feel so good." She admits, blushing even more. As I've said before, and plan on saying even more, every single pony I've seen in Equestria is cute.

Eventually, I manage to sign her horn. I have to hold it in my hand. She leaves without getting anything from the store. She says that meeting me is good enough. As she's leaving, I hear her say to herself she's never going to wash her horn. People actually say that?

Once she's gone, I sigh. That was the first time I've given somepony an autograph. I'll probably have to do that a bit more often. I'll have to bring my pen around with me more often. I'm kind of surprised Lyra hasn't asked for one yet, since she's got an interest in my species. Pinkie, unlike me, didn't even seem to notice Moonshine. She's probably walking across her own plane of existence in her mind.

Another customer walks in. The stallion is only mildly surprised by my appearance. I think they're starting to get used to a creature twice their size without any hair and walking on two legs. I'm still trying to get used to the creatures half my size covered in hair and walking on all four legs.

As the customer leaves with his meal, two more ponies, these ones being mares, walk in. The one on the left, a unicorn, doesn't seem to be fazed by my appearance. The one on the right, a pegasus, seems to have a reaction that could either be fear or excitement. The pegasus hurries up and orders her food. The unicorn takes time to think.

The way the unicorn was acting kind of makes me think she just smoked some weed. I lived in a place where it was legal, so I know what a high person looks like. I don't know if the same is for ponies as it is for humans. Hell, I don't even know if there's marijuana in Equestria. I'm going to have to find out, though. Not so I can smoke it. Pinkie could use some, though. She shakes more than a drug addict with withdrawals in the cold.

That's not something I expected to say anytime in my life.

"Is there anything I can cook? Serving is too boring for me." I say to Pinkie when there aren't any customers.

"Yep! We're running short on cupcakes. They're selling fast today." Pinkie says. "You know how to cook, right?"

"Of course I do." I say. "I'm not the best cook, though. I don't think I'm bad enough to set Sugarcube Corner on fire, so it's safe."

Pinkie shows me to the oven, along with the necessary cooking materials. A few of them, I've never seen in my life. A few of them don't exactly seem to be cooking materials. There's an Erlenmeyer flask, one of those glass things with the conical body and flat bottom, among them. I get that a lot of subjects mix with each other, but I didn't expect Home Economics and Chemistry to be like that.

I grab the flask. "What's this for?" I ask Pinkie before she turns away.

Pinkie looks at the flask. "I dunno." She answers simply. "It's probably Twilight's."

"Why did I not see that coming?" I ask rhetorically. "So, cupcakes. I can do this by myself."

"If you need me, just scream!" Pinkie says, then bounces out of the room. Literally bounces. She's strange enough to be in a David Lynch movie.

I shrug off the thought and put my headphones on. It's probably not safe to do that, but I've been around an oven more than once. Ready to Die by Andrew W.K. starts to play. It would be a good song to bake cupcakes to, if I was making them out of humans. Well, since I'm in Equestria, they would have to be made out of ponies. I don't think that would taste very good or go down easily.

Holy shit, my mind is morbid.

A dozen cupcakes later, I open the oven. It smells pretty damn awesome. I take the batch over to where the food is kept and stick them there. Pinkie bounces in, once again literally. I'm just not going to question how she does that to keep my sanity intact.

"Wow, Markie. Those smell amazing!" Pinkie says. Her tongue rolls out of her mouth and is dripping more than a dog. Take some notes, Ivan Pavlov.

"It's a recipe my brother taught me." I reply. Now that I think about it, it's a little strange that someone in the military knew how to make really good cupcakes. The only thing that would be stranger than that would him watching a show targeted at little girls.

"You had a brother?" Pinkie asks.

"Yeah. He was a cool guy. I'm using past tense, not because he's dead or anything." I'm the dead one, but I think Pinkie knows that already. I'm going to have to get used to the whole 'this is sort of the afterlife' thing. It's a little more than surreal. "You'd like him, probably. You've got pretty similar personalities. He likes to make people smile." The fact that he's part of the Canadian military wouldn't give most people that idea.

"I'd love to meet him!" Pinkie says, bouncing up and down on her hooves. Her legs are straight while bouncing. Are her bones made of springs or something?

"I think he'd like to meet you, too." I say. I don't exactly know how he'd react to a talking pink pony with hair that looks like cotton candy.
Pinkie smiles. It's large enough that the corners of her mouth literally go to her ears. Seeing a pink pony smile is uncanny enough. Seeing that smile hitting the ears is even more uncanny. I've seen worse in movies, though.

After giving the cupcakes and recipe to Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie pays me. I tried to go without any pay, but Pinkie's tenacious. I couldn't even convince her to pay me half. She could sell snake oil without the oil.

I leave Sugarcube Corner and head to Carousel Boutique. I don't know if my wardrobe is complete yet, but I should check up on it. Besides, I haven't talked to Rarity much. I haven't been talking to a lot of ponies much.

I enter the building, once again ignoring the urge to knock on the door. Rarity is just inside. She turns to me. "Oh, hello, Mark."

"Hey, Rarity." I reply. "How's my wardrobe coming along?" I ask.

"It's still incomplete." Rarity admits with a sigh. "I'm not used to working with your measurements and proportions. I've worked on only two other bipeds. They were actually half human."

"Minotaurs?" I ask. I kind of hope I'm not right. I remember hearing the myth about the Minotaur in the Labyrinth. I'm not too familiar with the myth because it always creeped me out when I was just a kid.

"Indeed, Mark. Have you been reading about the species of Equestria?" Rarity asks, sounding impressed. "No. Minotaurs are actually part of a mythology from Earth." I say. "So are unicorns and pegasi."

Rarity smiles at that. "So if I were to somehow arrive on your planet, I would be treated as you are here?"

I grimace slightly. I don't like the thought of what some of the sick bastards that call themselves humans would do to her. "Probably not." I say, leaving it at that.

"Oh…" Rarity mutters in a downbeat voice. I think she understood what I implied. The white unicorn replaces her sad look with a happier one, like she has something else on her mind. She walks over to a small chest and opens it. "I nearly forgot to give these to you." A pair of blue shoes float over to me. "Your wardrobe is not complete, as I have said already. I don't want you to leave emtpy hooved, however.. They were made with suede. The material was very difficult to find."

"Isn't suede a kind of leather?" I ask. "Isn't leather illegal in Equestria?" I'm just guessing. I don't know many of the laws here. Since some kinds of leather are made from horses, a pony wearing suede would be like a human wearing human skin.

"Leather is illegal, yes. Suede is as well." Rarity says. "That does not matter with this suede, however. This suede on your shoes is faux."

"Faux? That means fake, right?"

"Yes. Well, no, actually. Faux is Prench for 'false.'"

Prench. Like French. This world's France is probably called Prance, then. Even the names of the places are cute. "So how much do I owe you?"

"None." Rarity replies. I raise an eyebrow. "Being allowed to simply work with your measurements is payment enough. Many fashion designers would do nasty deeds for such opportunities."

"You're really willing to give up a lot of money just for that?"

"Yes I am."

"Well, I'm going to pay you once the wardrobe's complete." I reply.

"Then I won't complete it." She says.

"You're going to get money, Rarity. Like it or not."

"Then I will donate the bits to a charity."

"That's generous of you." I say, fully aware of the fact that she's the Element of Generosity.

Rarity blushes slightly. These ponies are very prone to blushing. I still haven't gotten Pinkie to blush yet. Maybe I have and just haven't noticed it yet. That's entirely possible.

"Was there another reason you stopped by?"

"Not really." I admit. "I guess I could talk with you for a while, assuming you aren't too busy."

"As much as I wish to take a break, I will have to refuse that offer. An old friend from out of town stopped in some time ago and commissioned some clothes." She sighs. "If I could help, I'd give you an offer. I don't know the first thing about fashion or making clothes." I admit. "Good luck, Rarity."

"Thank you, Mark. Feel free to stop by tomorrow. I'm sure the wardrobes will be complete, or nearly complete, by then."

"I'll be sure to do that, Rarity."