The Taxonomy of the Lower Reaches of the Discordian Dimensions

When he was about a mile out of Ponyville, Discord began to think that maybe flying hadn’t been the most brilliant idea. Of course, it was the fastest option apart from teleporting, and he had tried that earlier and plummeted 30 feet down through the air.

Okay, we aren’t trying that again he thought to himself. Funny, he never thought he’d tell himself to be cautious.

Flying was difficult, and he couldn’t go as high or as far as he liked, but every time he thought of Scriptum’s face, rage spurred him on. That pony had caused him a lot of grief and it was time to repay the favour.

Starswirl watched Discord until he disappeared as a speck on the horizon.

“Bucking Horsefeathers!” he growled, throwing his hat to the ground in frustration. The bells tingled as if they were mocking him with laughter.

“Oh…um. Is now a bad time?” said a soft voice.

Starswirl jumped at the sound of Fluttershy’s voice. “Fluttershy! No, it’s not a bad time, in fact it’s the perfect time. I need you to help me with Discord.”

“What’s wrong?”

“He’s clown the floop!” cried Starswirl.

Fluttershy blinked at him and tilted her head.

“I mean he’s flown the coop!” said the flustered unicorn. “He’s taken off across Equestria, and I think I know where he’s going!”

“Where?” said Fluttershy. She was now beginning to worry frantically. Discord really should not have been out of bed. Just moments before he’d had his head in a bucket because of how nauseated he felt.

“I think…I think he’s gone after Scriptum,” said Starswirl fearfully.

“Oh dear…”

“Yes…So we really need to get to him before Discord does! We should tell the others too!”

“No!”

“No?”

“No,” she said, primly. “Just us two. I know Discord, and he’s not going to want an audience when we talk him down.”

“Can we talk him down?”

“If we can get to him in time then I think I might be able to, but he’s going to feel hurt. He’s hurting now, and that’s why he’s doing this.”

“Right, let’s walk and talk,” said Starswirl, who was now beginning to pace franctically. His movements made Fluttershy all the more nervous.

They started walking at a brisk pace towards the train station, occasionally breaking into a run. Neither of them were terribly athletic; Starswirl from old age and Fluttershy from being petite and never very physically strong to begin with.

“Fluttershy,” Starswirl was panting, “I’m afraid this is my fault all over again.”

“What do you mean?” she panted back.

“I was trying to tell Discord that what happened with Celestia was because of me, and I was going to tell him that he needn’t worry about how you felt about your time in the chaos dimension together, but…”

They reached the train station and boarded the first service to Canterlot.

When they had both managed to catch their breath, Starswirl continued: “I’m afraid I shouldn’t have started with the part about Celestia. Discord feels betrayed, and I don’t blame him. I wanted to tell him what I did was wrong, and now he has a chance to be happy with you. Did I overstep the mark?”

“No,” said Fluttershy. “But I need to tell him this myself. He’s more likely to listen when it comes from me.”

“I’ve noticed,” said the unicorn. He smiled, despite the situation. Fluttershy was a sweet girl, and seemed to have her head screwed on tighter than he did given the situation. She did work with animals, after all, some rather dangerous ones too, and Discord was definitely a super dangerous animal.

In truth, Fluttershy was terrified for Discord but felt she had to maintain some kind of composure. Their biggest enemy at the moment was time. If Discord got to Scriptum before they did then he might do something irreversible; Something that might definitely make him unhappy in the future.

For the next hour Fluttershy and Starswirl watched the Equestrian countryside roll by as they practically counted the minutes until arrival at Canterlot.

Discord was out of breath, and resting in a tree near Canterlot Gardens, planning his next move. His scrying spell told him Scriptum was being held about a quarter of a mile from where he was, and he needed all his energy to teach him a lesson.

Little snivelling worm thought the draconequus. If only you didn’t exist.

A horrible, sharp-toothed smile appeared on Discord’s face and he began to chuckle.

That can be arranged.

Scriptum pushed away the plate of food the guards had brought him. He didn’t feel much like eating, but what he had done had been a lot of thinking.

He still felt no guilt at making Discord upset and keeping Fluttershy safe from him, but what he did feel guilty about was hurting the Pegasus. Now that he was here in this bare cell, awaiting trial, now that his parents knew all about the shame he had brought them, he had sat there in the evenings and wept.

He had also hurt Fluttershy’s wings—something he had not even been aware of. He had just been trying to hold her still, to keep her from Discord. Why didn’t she see that? The draconequus was dangerous, and likely to hurt her if he didn’t get what he wanted.

“I’m sorry, Fluttershy,” Scriptum said to the empty cell.

After a pause, there came a reply. Scriptum started at the sound of the voice.

“No you’re not.”

“D---Discord?”

He watched with horror as the draconequus’s snake-like body melted through the walls. He was on all fours, claws unsheathed and his hackles up.

Scriptum made a yelping sound, and began to run to the other side of the cell, a motion that Discord couldn’t help but feel was pathetically futile, since the unicorn had no where to go. Nevertheless, Discord quickly extended his body and Scriptum tripped over it.

He scrambled to his feet as quickly as he could. “Don’t hurt me! Please don’t hurt me!”

Discord snapped his fingers and the unicorn was suddenly hanging upside down in mid air.

“Let’s see,” purred the draconequus. Scriptum was babbling something about being sorry but he didn’t care. “How should I start?”

He pre-empted Scriptum who was about to call for the guards by sealing his mouth shut with a spell. After a moment, he decided that listening to the little twerp beg and cry would be preferable, so he cast a silencing spell over the room.

Instantly Scriptum began yelling for the guards again.

Discord laughed. “Oh, they can’t hear you. It’s just you and me and we’re going to have a good time, aren’t we?”

He turned Scriptum around so that the unicorn was face to face with Discord’s sharp-toothed grin.

“Please,” he was saying. “I’ll do anything you want. I’m sorry I did all that stuff!”

“No you aren’t,” snarled Discord, pushing the unicorn against the wall with his lion paw. Scriptum noticed with horror that the sharp claws were dangerously close to his neck. “You’re not sorry. You took pleasure in what you did to me. You’re all the same, every single last one of you. You think because you have rules that makes you better than someone like me. You think because you can control your emotions that means you’re in control. Let me tell you something, Scriptum old buddy old pal--- I’m used to being alone, but what I’m not used to is people screwing with my head. And I don’t forgive easily.” He tightened his grip on the unicorn’s neck.

The room was suddenly swarming with spiders and Scriptum broke out in a cold sweat.

“Arachnophobic, I see? Well, how could you possibly be Fluttershy’s coltfriend when you can’t even get on with Mister Fuzzy-Legs!”

The spiders started crawling up the unicorn’s legs and he screamed, eliciting a manic giggle from Discord. Quick as a flash the creatures were gone, and Discord was suddenly still.

“I’m not actually a violent person,” growled the draconequus. “I prefer to use some brainpower when it comes to situations like this. But I’m not running on a full tank, so I guess you get the best of both worlds…”

Scriptum yelped as Discord used magic to throw him across the room. The unicorn hit the wall with a cry.

“Why!” he cried as he hit the ground.

“You’re seriously asking me that? Seriously? Aren’t I supposed to be some kind of monster to you? Some kind of debauched freak who’s only goal is to rape and pillage?”

“If you’re not then why are you doing this?”

“Because,” said Discord, lifting Scriptum up again with his powers, “If that’s all anyone sees me as; If that’s all people can see, then why bother with anything else? I didn’t used to care, but everyone made me care, and that was clearly a mistake on my part, so enjoy Discord the Monster, Scriptum. Enjoy.”

He threw the unicorn at the wall again.

Scriptum felt his bones jangle. His vision was beginning to go dark and he might have broken a tooth…

He was sure the next time Discord threw him something else was going to break. Something a lot more vital. Sure of it…

“Stop!”

Time seemed to stand still. In fact, in the cell, it did. Discord was in mid throw and Scriptum froze in midair as the draconequus turned to the source of the voice.

Fluttershy and Starswirl were outside the cell.

The draconequus saw the pained look on her face and it felt like someone had kicked him in the teeth. Of course, of course she would be upset about this. She liked Scriptum. She didn’t like him, who could ever like him? Certainly not someone like her after all the things he had done. He fought back the tears. May as well throw the bastard into the wall one more time—after all, that’s what she thought of him, wasn’t it? That he was an awful person.

“I’m sorry,” he said to her.

“I can’t hear you!” shouted Fluttershy.

He realized the silencing spell was around the cell. Did he really need it anymore? Fluttershy and Starswirl knew where he was so the guards would know soon, and then no doubt that would run up the chain of command towards Celestia, and by the end of the day he’d be back in stone. He removed the silencing spell.

“Don’t do it, Discord! Please, listen to me.” She wrapped her hooves around the bars of the cell. “Let me in with you!”

“I knew you were too good to be true,” said Discord, not even trying to fight back the tears that stung his eyes now.

“I’m real!” shouted the Pegasus. “I’m real, okay? Discord, if you do this then I-I’m not sure we can continue our friendship.”

He whirled around at that. “What?!” he exclaimed.

“If you hurt that pony, then everything he said about you is true, and you let it come true.”

“You act as if we are friends?”

“Aren’t we?” she whispered.

He cocked his head at her. “Why would you want to be my friend after what I did to you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I…” the draconequus seemed uncharacteristically quiet and embarrassed when he mumbled: “I slept with you when you were…in heat.”

Fluttershy could have facehoofed right then and there.

“Discord, I told you that night that I get to choose who I’m with. That mares get to choose. We don’t lose our minds when we’re in heat.”

Starswirl looked embarrassed at this revelation. Perhaps he wasn’t as progressive as he had thought.

“You…you mean you don’t regret it?”

“No! But if you throw Scriptum at the wall again then we’ll definitely both regret it,” she said, the look she was giving him was verging on The Stare.

Discord snapped his fingers, and the bars bent enough to let Fluttershy and Starswirl into the cell, but he still kept his distance from them.

“Put him down,” said Fluttershy quietly, as she stepped forward towards the draconequus.

Discord instinctively stepped back in response.

“Put him down,” she repeated.

Slowly, and tentatively, Discord lowered the unicorn to the ground. He half expected Fluttershy to run to Scriptum and throw her arms around him, but she did no such thing. Instead she moved closer and he kept stepping backwards until she had backed him into the wall.

“Why did you think you did something wrong when you were with me?” said Fluttershy.

“Because it’s what I do! I screw up, in case you haven’t noticed,” said Discord icily.

“So you decided in order to avoid screwing up, you just decided that you screwed up?”

“He told me that I had taken advantage of you!” Discord pointed a sharp talon at Scriptum.

“And you believed him?”

“Well…no. Only, yes. I mean, I wouldn’t have believed him on his own, but everyone else was acting like…like…”

She suddenly understood. Her friends had also assumed she was in danger when they had found her with Discord, and they had gone on Scriptum’s word. They had gone on the word of someone they barely knew over someone they were supposed to consider a friend--- all of them had; Starswirl and Spike included.

Discord’s emotions and brain had taken this information and rolled with it.

“I’m so sorry for assuming such things, Fluttershy,” said Starswirl.

“You mean mares aren’t at the mercy of stallions when they go into heat?” said Scriptum.

Fluttershy whirled on him, her eyes flashing, and he cringed slightly at the sight.

She turned back to Starswirl, and said, “I can’t believe no one in this room but me knows anything about the basic mating rituals of females.”

The three stallions cringed. “On the other hand, Starswirl you’ve come from the past, so perhaps that wasn’t widely known back then.”

“It’s no excuse, I…”

Fluttershy turned to Discord. “And you didn’t know any better because you’ve been alone for most of your life and trapped in stone for a great part of it.”

Discord’s ears were still flattened against his head in embarrassment. It wasn’t like he was a monk, and yet he still hadn’t known about this.

“But you,” and she turned to Scriptum. “There is no excuse! This is modern day Equestria and you believe the old pony’s tale about mares in heat! Are you four?”

Discord noticed that Fluttershy seemed to be quivering with anger and he raised an eyebrow.

“And you hurt my friend!” she shouted. “You hurt him when you had no business doing that! You don’t own me!”

“S-sorry…” mumbled Scriptum.

Discord barely stifled a giggle and Fluttershy turned to him and his face fell.

“And you are in big trouble, Mister. Big trouble. You physically assaulted someone! Do you know how serious that is?”

“He physically assaulted you!”

“That’s why he’s sitting in this cell. Is that what you want? To be like him?”

Discord gulped. “Well..No…”

“You heal his wounds immediately, then we’re going home,” she said primly.

“Yeah, you heard the lady,” said Scriptum.

“Shut up!” said Fluttershy.

“Yes ma’am,” said Scriptum quickly.

“Fluttershy…” Discord was attempting to explain how he had gotten in this situation.

“Do it now, Discord,” she said.

The draconequus nodded and snapped his fingers. Scriptum looked like his clean-cut self again. Every tooth and joint was in place and there were no bruises.

“Right,” said Fluttershy. “We’re going home.” She marched out of the cell and looked pointedly at Starswirl and Discord. They nodded sheepishly and followed her. Discord closed the cell bars behind them.

“I..I’m sorry I didn’t know,” said Scriptum. “About mares…I mean…It was..”

“Shut up!” yelled Fluttershy, Starswirl and Discord in unison.

The train ride back home was not the happy one Discord had been hoping for.

Fluttershy was staring out the window and her arms were folded.

He and Starswirl sat facing her as she gazed across the moving countryside. Discord’s mind was feverishly at work trying to think of something he could say to the Pegasus. “Sorry” seemed woefully inadequate.

After another tense five minutes, Fluttershy suddenly looked up. She had been lost in thought for most of the ride, and she had decided that there was no other option.

With a heavy sigh, she said: “Starswirl, could you maybe give us some privacy?”

“Er…of course.” The unicorn nodded and made his way to the next carriage.

Discord sat opposite the Pegasus, nervously wringing his talon and paw. Before Fluttershy could begin, however, Discord spoke first.

“Fluttershy…are we okay?”

Oh no she thought. That had suddenly made it so much harder. She took a deep breath and began.

“Listen very carefully to me, Discord. I care a lot about you which is why I’m about to say what I’m going to say.”

He sat with his ears flexed towards her, trying very hard not to look worried.

“Discord, I really don’t regret what happened on the boat—not one moment of it, but the fact is that we can’t continue what we started there.”

He stopped wringing his hands and said softly: “why?”

“Because of what will happen if you lose me, which is why I’m telling you now.”

He laughed, trying to look nonchalant. “So you’re losing me because I’m afraid of losing you?”

“It’s like I said. You can’t rely on me completely. I know what happened was awful, and I know you felt betrayed by everyone, but the truth is you did nothing wrong. Yet you believed you did, and you believed that everyone hated you.”

“Don’t they, Fluttershy?”

“I don’t hate you and neither do they. They made a mistake. Surely you can forgive them that after they forgave the mistakes you made?”

“Will that fix things…will that fix things with us?”

“I don’t know. I’m still your friend, Discord, no matter what. I won’t abandon you. But I don’t think I can go further.”

The slight relaxation that was visible in his body at her reassurance that she was still his friend disappeared a little at the realization of what she was saying.

“I can’t be with you as a lover, Discord. Not when your reaction to the thought of losing me is to attack another pony.”

“I’m sorry!” he shouted. “Let me make it up to you, Fluttershy. I’ll do my very best to make it up to you!”

He moved forward as if to reach out to her tentatively with his paw but thought better of it.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. “I…It’s not just that. This whole situation has made me realize I’m pretty bad at making mistakes too. I think maybe dating and trying to find a stallion just isn’t something I was very good at to begin with.”

Discord felt like he’d been punched in the chest as he suddenly realized what was happening. She had tears silently falling down her muzzle.

It’s all my fault.

He had been so pre-occupied with what he had wanted, that he had chased away ponies that could have made Fluttershy happy and left her with a choice between an abusive control freak and himself.

Fluttershy was staring out the window again. No fresh tears were falling, but the ones on her face were still sliding down. It was as if she was trying to retain her composure even though the cracks had already shown.

“Fluttershy,” said Discord. He wanted to tell her she wasn’t broken. There was nothing wrong with her--- it was all him him him!

“I…I need to be alone for a bit, Discord,” she said. “Can you go sit with Starswirl in the next carriage? Please.”

“Okay,” he said softly. He left his seat and hesitated for a bit. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and tell her that she was the most amazing pony in the universe and that she needed to realize that, but coming from him, perhaps that opinion didn’t matter.

He walked to the carriage.

Discord was partly thankful that the rest of the train journey hadn’t taken that long. He felt awkward around Starswirl as well and wasn’t sure he could take more uncomfortable silence. Once they were back at the Castle of Friendship Fluttershy told him he needed to rest. He obeyed silently. He didn’t have the heart to protest against anything she said.

Pinkie brought him a hot water bottle and some tea a few minutes later.

“You shouldn’t go running around and not tell anypony where you’re going, silly billy!” she said brightly.

“Wise words oh Fuschia-coloured one,” he said, chuckling softly. “Wait…were you worried?”

“We were all worried! We know how super-duper sick you are! And not like that time when you faked being sick with the blue flu and then got sick anyway as some kind of poetic justice! But real sick, like close to death sick!”

“What?”

“Yup! If it weren’t for Starswirl you’d be pushing up daisies by now! You’d be food for the wormies!”

Pinkie certainly had a way with words.

“Because of Starswirl? What did he do?”

“He gave you his magic! You were running so low you could barely lift an arm. But he put all the magic he knew in you and now you seem a bit better! But Starswirl says you can only have as much power as he has, which is why you can’t do things like disappear from one place and appear in another!”

Discord’s mouth was hanging open.

“Your tea’s gonna get cold, drink up!” said Pinkie, and she bounced out of the room before he could ask her anything else.

So it was true, they did all care about him, and he had assumed they hadn’t. Now because of this assumption he had screwed up with Fluttershy.

He held the hot water bottle close to his chest, trying to draw comfort from it, but he still felt shivery.

As the days passed, Discord regained more and more of his physical strength. Around the third day, he was well enough to sit outside again, which was where Starswirl found him.

“I’d like to go for a walk,” said the draconequus.

Starswirl seemed to eye him suspiciously.

“Look, I’m not going to make a break for it or run off again! I just want to go for a walk, and maybe sit under a tree and…think for a bit.”

“Really?”

“Yes. And can you give this note to Fluttershy.”

“You’re leaving a note and you expect me to believe that you aren’t running off?”

“For chaos sake, Old Man! It’s just stuff I don’t feel like saying in person, okay? I will come back. By the end of the day, I’ll be back on this doorstep and you can all continue to bring me soup and act like I’m brittle or going to explode, or spontaneously combust. I don’t know. I’m coming back, alright? I promise. I…I won’t abandon my friends.”

Starswirl seemed to mull this over for a moment, then said: “Not to sound like your mother, but be back by sundown.”

“I will,” said the draconequus, walking off, then he shouted over his shoulder: “and I haven’t got a mother!”

Fluttershy found the envelope on the table with her name on it. She knew Discord’s handwriting immediately and tore it open. Inside was a note in his haphazard and scrawling hand:

Dear Noodle,

I'm not good with these sorts of things, but I’ve come to a realization of sorts, and the realization is I’ve screwed up, but not in the way I initially thought.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm sorry for everything I've done. You deserve a nice stallion who will look after you the way I clearly am no good at doing, so if you find one, do go for it. Or hey...maybe you don't even need a stallion. You're a batpony superheroine tamer of beasts and seeing as I am a stallion, I think I am qualified in telling you that we may be overrated.

But yeah...joking aside, I just want you to be happy, Shy. And all I've thought about is myself and how I feel. And in the end I ended up putting you through a terrible ordeal by scaring off ponies that could have been good for you. You could have met a good guy, but instead I chased them all away and you ended up encountering *Scriptum*.

I'm no good at this. Among other things.

Your friend, always

Discord.

P.S. I’ll be back. I just went for a walk.

She clutched the note to her chest.

Discord spent most of the afternoon with his body coiled several times around the branch of a large oak tree. It wasn’t his thinking tree, but it was a good substitute for now. He rested his head on his eagle talon. He wondered how she would react to the note. He wondered if he had any right to wonder how she would react.

He sighed as the sun began to sink lower. Birds were beginning to fly in to roost in the tree. It was time to head back. He started to uncoil himself, when he became distinctly aware of what sounded like a low humming. The birds started calling more frantically. Before the draconequus could puzzle further over what the sound was, the portal opened before him, the humming grew louder and before he could even take a breath the jelly beasts were swarming all over him; their inky blackness enveloping different parts of his mismatched body and pulling him towards the dimension’s opening.

The birds were going crazy now with their cries.

He only had time to utter one word: “Buck!”

Then they pulled him into the portal and it closed up with a zipping sound.

For a few seconds, the birds were silent, then there was a cacophony.