And upon highest tower of CeeCee, the heretics were brought before Him to receive judgement.
"My lost children, you have made a mockery of my desires and blasphemed against my word.
You have lead my people into damnation and turned my works against me.
For these crimes and more, you-"

"Eh boss?" crackled over walky-talky. The page was marked and the book was placed back in the door compartment. The boss reached over the readout board to pick the walky-talky up.

"What's up?"

"We got anotha' Wisp headin' in on our 9 o' clock. Approx' 30 knots. Think we gonna have problems?" Came the reply from the boss's reptilian observer.

A quick glance out the port window showed that yes, there was a small Wisp heading towards the train. A race created by some forgotten civilization, Wisps were introduced to the planet millennia ago as biological water harvesters, being blown across the planet, sucking up moisture as they went. As their handlers abandoned their creations after only a few centuries, the Wisps went feral, still looking for moisture, but now seeing travelers and settlements as massive sources of food. They developed the ability to create lightning strikes to fry any electronics, or people that might get between them and their liquid quarry. A good defense was usually just speed as Wisps couldn't travel much faster than the wind, or massive amounts of heat to cause the Wisp to rapidly evaporate. Therefore, Wisps presented the most danger to static settlements in high wind conditions, especially if the Wisps were in packs called Supercells. Any fears were quickly dispelled with a glance forward, showing the growing image of a rocky outcrop. The boss's response was cut off when the train-wide speaker system suddenly came alive.

"AIR BALLOON WISHES TO PLAY! CAN WE PLAY DRESS-UP WITH NEW FRIEND?" The next few sentences consisted of dress ideas such as ballgowns, swimsuits, and heavy combat gear.

"ANATA, no. We don't have time for playing. Besides, we're almost at Mesa and there's plenty more interesting things to do than entertain some old cloud, like authorization papers and transport manifests!" As much cheer as possible was put into those last few words.

"YAAAAY!" The cheerful reply was without a hint of sarcasm.

"Besides Gino, I wouldn't worry about it. We aren't hauling water, and no Wisp is stupid enough to try hunting this close to Mesa's defense systems. Probably just lost."

"If you say so boss."

"Trust me, work in the Northern regions enough, and you'll know the ins and outs of every critter that flies, crawls, or rolls across the sands, I guarantee it." With that, the boss picked up the book once more, and began to read. The air waves became quiet, and were soon replaced with the sounds of the vehicle itself.

From far away, the caravan would appear as little more than a small pack of specks crawling along the dirt, a small dust cloud chasing it. Getting a bit closer would reveal nothing more than an antiquated PIN-COM Overland Train Hauler-LR with a single bubble turret on top, hauling nine heavy-duty carriages. Multiple cobbled-together missile pods on the cab and carriages helped make the caravan look prickly enough to discourage the weaker scavengers, but still be enticing for the larger bandit groups. The right tools, the right vehicles, and enough cannon fodder, and there would be enough in those carriages to catapult any wannabee warlord into a new bandit king.

Getting any closer than that would reveal why such a caravan wasn't the center of some war party in the wastes.

The old V22 Zepon engines were replaced with Grand-Slam fusion reactors that could give the whole caravan bursts of nearly 130 km/hr. Unhooked, and the cab could reach speeds of over 300 km/hr. Fuel was easy to find, what with the near constant arrival of more star ship wreckages. The drive train, hookups, heat sinks, and other support systems were strengthened or replaced to take the increased strain. The turret wasn't some simple cannon controlled by some half-starved idiot. Twin gauss cannons with stabilizers, inertial dampeners, and a half-descent targeting system would hit targets of up to 1200 meters in human hands. When in the hands of a Scale-Dog like Gino, that range was extended to over 3000 meters. The missile pods didn't contain a small batch of scrap-metal tubes filled with a small amount of propellant and explosive. Piranha nano-missiles were the pods' deadly cargo and were usually under the control of a half-mad construct called ANATA. All parts of the hull could easily be electrified to discourage boarders. The rear carriage could also be cut loose to serve as a distraction. A secure communications network ensured that countermeasures could be coordinated with deadly efficiency. All this was under the command of a man driving the wastes for far longer than anyone had any right to.

These measures and more gave the caravan local names such as "The Hedgehog", "The Devil's Cactus", and "OH GOD, OH GOD, EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE" before they would move on and be inevitably be forgotten about. The caravan members would simply call the vehicle, and themselves: Empy's Transport.

The next 15 minutes passed in relative quiet. Gino kept an eye on the Wisp while keeping the other on the ground, looking for any change in the sea of sand and rocks. ANATA mumbled about the sociological affects of finding a planet covered in maple syrup while making sure the paper work looked honest enough to seem true, but not too honest to arouse suspicion. The boss meanwhile put away the book to help keep his eyes forward and grumbled about keeping the train on a trail of gravel that was supposed to be a multi-lane trade highway, all the while trying to keep his teeth from rattling too much. The map of this area was over a century old, but that was besides the point. It was lying about what was in front of them so the boss was justified in blaming it.

Fortunately the gravel path soon became a true road and the jolts died down. Unfortunately, the jolts were replaced with swerving as the Overlander now had to dodge multiple vehicle carcasses. Some were the remains of simple carts, land bikes, and grav-scooters which went under the wheels without complaint. Others couldn't be plowed through. Land-Crawlers, War Machines, even fellow Overland Trains turned the boss's grumbling into outright swearing. There was even an interplanetary freighter modified for ground work on its side, still belching smoke. As ever the Mesa loomed ever larger over the comparatively small Overlander.

As a per protocol, the boss listened in to whatever channels were being used by the local authorities and any tele-stations still operating. ANATA scanned the local net to see what Mesa was killing people for these days and sent the abridged version to the boss and Gino. After he felt he skimmed enough, the boss pulled down a microphone from one of the many ceiling gizmos and keyed it train-wide. "Alright everyone, Mesa has come under control of the...Glorious Rem-wait no Realm of the...Eternal Emperor and is now called Pillar of Mercy. Any mention of the old name will result in~ blah blah blah...oh, immediate imprisonment until the Eternal Emperor believes we have 'learned of our errors and accepted his benevolence'. All of our stuff will be burned as "tools of tricksters, liars, and devils". Other crimes result in variations of the same sentence."

"So they let us rot forever and sell our stuff right boss?"

"'Bout the size of it yeah. Keep your head down Gino. ANATA, can you try not to get us into another Apollo 3?"

"PLAYTIME RESULTS IN A MORE HEALTHY CHILD AND HAPPIER FAMILY!"

"Well we don't want that here." The Overlander began to decelerate as the city gates became more visible. "All right everyone, get ready, and stay-"

"Break now boss!"

*ZWAP*

A large ball of plasma passed by just in front and overhead, barely missing them and slamming into the modified freighter, setting off what must have been a magazine in a stunning display of fire and shrapnel. The Overlander locked its wheels and skidded to a halt, sending multiple nick-knacks in the cab hurling to the window, and sending some stale coffee into the boss's back. Multiple curses came from the turret.

"Damn it!"

"Plasma Cannon! Ten o' clock high! I gotta' lock on it boss!"

"CAN FISHY S PLAY WITH NEW FRIENDS?" Missile pods began warming up across the caravan.

"Everyone just hang on!" Was just managed to be heard over ANATA's ranting over the many games she would get to play with everyone at Mesa. Stay calm. We just need to finish this job. Not set everything on fire...again.

The chaos was interrupted by a chime from the radio. The boss made sure to lower ANATA's volume so she wouldn't interfere with this conversation.

" Unidentified vehicle, you are intruding upon his Majesty's territory. Turn back now or face retribution." came a voice over the air-waves.

"Boss, we got more weapon platforms powering up all over the Pillar!" was Gino's helpful advice.

Friendly people these lot. "Hang on a second! Me-shit-Pillar Control, this is Overland Train Designation #3421-23, we're making a scheduled delivery and we have the proper paper work on hand if you need proof!" came the boss's reply as ANATA broadcasted the papers that (should) keep the guns from vaporizing the train.

A few seconds past before a response was heard. "Overland Train Designation #34...whatever, you're over 3 hours late from what the papers are showing us. Explain." The tone would brook no argument.

"Well, we had a bit of a run-in some repo-worms beyond the Skeleton Mountains. Fighting them off took us a bit longer than we hoped. I'll send you what our cameras picked up."

More seconds.

"...Be advised Overlander, your delay has resulted in late fees totaling 2,700 credits to be payed within the hour. Failure to comply will result in immediate imprisonment and confiscation of property." The gates slowly opened, revealing the Lower Mesa inside.

A sigh of relief. "Thanks, we'll get that payed ASAP." The Overlander began to roll through the gate and into the city beyond.

"And Overlander."

"Yes?"

"Welcome to the Pillar of Mercy, may the blessings of the One True Emperor guide you."

"...And, uh, you too, I guess." Nailed it! Now, where's a towel around here?

What the caravan crew didn't know, was that they never had a warning shot. Missing would tarnish the Empire's image of instant, and merciless retribution across the realms. But surely, a long night with the local girls would whack out anyone for days and in the minds of the guards, it was sheer genius that turned around this potential kerfuffle and kept the pathetic caravaners on their toes. The smarter guards would make sure none of this reached their superiors, while the newer guards were...convinced to keep their mouths shut.

The Wisp slowly moved by overhead, heading for the top of the Mesa.

And so it was that another job was nearing its end for the crew, the scuffle at the gate nothing too noteworthy for them.

Another average Sunday.

Over the skies and far away, a decidedly un-average Sunday was occurring in a ruined castle. In fact, what was supposed to be day was instead filled with thousands of stars and one massive moon. Almost as if someone forgot to raise the sun. Inside, two creatures fought over the fate of the world.

Well, one was trying to fought. The other was just gloating.

So close! After -heheh- a millennia of torment in that damnable prison, just one final piece to the puzzle ha-hah! Soon, all the world will bask in my glory! They'd all eventually die from lack of sunlight but -heh- who cares right? Besides, they deserve much worse for letting me rot in that prison, laughing at me -he-hoo- every bucking night! Especially HER

*POOF*

A purple pony with a pretty sparkly posterior and a pokey horn plopped onto the poorly-maintained palace floor. On the other side of the hall was a crumbling platform, five stone spheres with raised markings began to swarm around a roughly equine shape with a horn and wings. Speckled, purple smoke originating where her mane and tail should be swirled around her.

Ah! HER lackey is here to witness my destiny! Hehe ha! Ha! HAHAHAH"AHAHAHAHAHAH!" Her wings unfurled and lightning seemed to come out of nowhere, increasing the sense that mare on the platform was very, very evil, had the snake eyes, dark coat, fangs, and maniacal laughter not been enough.

"HAHAHAH"--wait what is she doing?...She wouldn't...

Sure enough, the pony with the horn on top appeared to be getting ready to charge the black mare.

"...You're kidding. You're kidding right?" Oh this just adorable! HER hoof-licker must be absolutely desperate to -heheh- try something this stupid! Hehe, how about we oblige her last request? With a stomp, she lurched forward, intending to spear another pony on her razor sharp horn.

"...please don't." came a new voice in her head.

SILENCE! YOU WANTED THIS, NOW I'M FINISHING IT! A quick mental blast sent the Coward back into her little hole, ensuring she wouldn't bother the entity currently controlling the body as she made sure everything went smoothly. Unfortunately, this spat distracted her to the point where she didn't notice the charging teleport spell until the purple pony was already gone. A quick turn around showed her appearing on the platform, desperately trying to activate the stones. They appeared to be responding and even started to glow.

NO NO NO! An emergency teleport brought her in front of the unicorn. So focused on the stones was she, that she didn't even notice the appearance of the comparatively giant mare appear before her, nor did she notice her spell being re-purposed into a shock spell and being reversed into her horn.

She noticed the resulting flying backwards. And hitting the ground. And the skidding. And the pain. Definitely lots of pain.

But the black mare was already too late. Magical sparks began traveling across the stones as they came alive and began to roll across the floor to surround her.

"No! No!" came the mare's desperate cries as the the energy built up...

...and sputtered out.

How? Wait! Heh-heh. There's only five elements! Heh-heh-heh. Eheh-hahahaHAHA"HAHAHAHAH!" More maniacal laughter interrupted the purple mare's muttering as the black mare proceeded to stomp on the platform, shattering the stones. The look the little mare gave as the shattered pieces fell to the floor warmed the the black mare's tar-pit of a heart.

"You little foal! Thinking you could defeat ME?!? Now you will never see HER, or your sun!" The smoke grew exponentially, curling upwards until the hall had a miniature storm right in its chambers.

"THE NIGHT! WILL LAST! FOREVERRRRR!" Mad cackling overtook the black mare. Confident that all loose ends were tied up.

Then another loose end decided to show up.

"Twilight!" Voices. Other ponies. Shadows appeared in one of the entry corridors as they neared the hall. With new-found confidence, and back-up, Twilight faced the black mare.

"You think you can destroy the Elements of Harmony just like that?"

...no.

"Well you're wrong!"

NO!

"Because the spirits of the Elements of Harmony are right here!"

IMPOSSIBLE!

But it was. As if by magic, five new ponies were suddenly surrounding Twilight. Some were pegusi, others normal ponies, there was even another unicorn. All looked quite angry at the black mare.

"...What?"

The remains of the elements began to levitate around the black mare as Twilight babbled on about how a single action from these ponies somehow justified them being an element wielder.

Any attempts by the black mare to vaporize them all were cut off when massive amounts of pain surged through her head.

Damnit! What is going...Her! The Coward was somehow out of her hole and blitzing all over the mind-scape, setting pain receptors alight, then vanishing. Any attempts to catch Her only resulted in more pain for the black mare. She must have been saving energy for centuries, waiting for the right time to strike. It took all her focus just to stand upright, let alone deal with whatever the other ponies were doing.

With the black mare seemingly immobilized, pieces of the elements now began to hover, before flying off to surround the pony with the hat. What was her name? Pear-something probably.

Will that Twinkle just shut up already? I need to focus on--GYARGH! Another strike by the Coward. She was closing in on Her, but Twilight was also wrapping up her hero speech. Wait a minute. A massive blast rippled across the mind-scape, temporarily stunning Her and giving the black mare some breathing room. It would cause massive damage on psyche and run a high risk of a full-blown psychotic breakdown, but the black mare no longer cared about such issues. "You still don't have the sixth element! The spark didn't work!" But it was clear now that the black mare was simply blubbering, grasping at straws. Even she knew that.

"But it did. A different kind of spark! I felt it the very-" HER dog really won't quit will she?...Wait! Killing them! HAH! I'll enjoy snuffing out--BUCK! More hits by the Coward, recovered from the blast and preventing even a spark from appearing on the black mare's horn. Fortunately now she was no longer focusing on Twilight droning on and on, what with trying to finally beat the mental everything out of the Coward who wouldn't let her focus. Even more fortunate was that Her attacks were getting weaker, and she was slowing down, becoming more easy to hunt down. With a mighty charge, she finally managed to latch on to the Coward and began to do her best to squeeze Her to a pulp. Pity the it was impossible to do permanent damage in here, but that just meant there would always be bones to break, flesh to tear, and screams to hear. She expected the Coward to start blubbering for mercy, like always.

She didn't expect the Coward to start giggling.

Unfortunately she never payed attention to when Twilight stopped. It took a blinding flash to bring her away from the now laughing Coward to reality, and once the flash died down, she gasped.

The Sixth Element.

Like tax leviers, Twilight wasn't done sucking the life out of her just yet, and opened her mouth once again.

"You see when those Elements are united by the-uh, the spark that resides in us all, it creates the Sixth Element! The Element of Magic!"

More flashes signaled the stones turning into proper Element Bearer necklace-thingys and the Elements rising up to form a near perfect pentagon, with Twilight at its center. The creature barely payed attention to any of that as the Cowards laughter turned to sobbing and then back again, creating a cacophony of sounds that forced her back. The Coward slowly got up and began to step towards the creature who had been controlling her for over a millennia. Still laughing. Still sobbing. And now with a feral grin that looked terrifying even without any fangs. Somehow the Coward was larger, darker, and had a mane that flowed and shimmered just like the black mare, only a dark blue to the black mare's purple. The creature stood frozen like a troll in the sunlight.

When the Elements of Harmony united into a rainbow of power that raced towards the frozen mare, the Coward spoke.

WE ARE PRINCESS LUNA OF THE EQUESTRIAN EMPIRE AND THOU ART LEAVING OUR HEAD, NOW!

Well, spoke doesn't entirely do the Royal Canterlot Voice justice. Especially from an apocalyptically mad Princess Luna. Breaking a planet-sized gong on one's knee while an even larger tornado roars overhead would be slightly more accurate.

With the black mare's mental eardrums thoroughly vaporized, Princess Luna closed the distance to the dazed mess that was now simply mumbling the word "no" over and over, pulled back her right hoof, aimed just between the nostrils, focused 1000 years of hate, regret, and anger into this punch, and let it fly. She could've given the creature a much harder buck, but no, she wanted to see its face as the hoof connected.

At first, it met almost no resistance. But finally, the Elements of Harmony came crashing into the black mare. Quickly, its face gained substance, only for cracks to spiderweb out from where the hoof connected, reaching across the thing's body to the ground, where the cracks grew in size as the whole mind-scape became covered in them, shafts of light poking through the largest. Over it all, a slowly building scream climaxed into a horrifying shriek, originating from the creature.

It's in pain...good.

The last thing the creature saw in this realm was a blue hoof crushing its skull, connected to a Princess with fire in her eyes, and a grin far more terrifying than it could ever hope to pull off.

Without any warning, the creature and the mind-scape shattered, Princess Luna lost consciousness, and the black mare's remains were scattered far beyond anything resembling Equestria.

Through it all, it seemed as if it had tasted something spicy.

Quite strange.

Author's Note

BEHOLD. MY MIND BARF. ENJOY.
Here's a gift for making it through the mess:

Fluffles make everything better!

...I have no idea how to preview this thing, and have no clue as to whether my attempts at techno wizardry haven't done horrible things to the story. So hooray readers! You get to tell me about where I screwed up and how I am a failure as a writer!

In all seriousness though, thanks for taking the time to read this. And a big thank you to all the authors on this site who continually give out quality content on a regular basis. I now realize how much of a challenge it is to even get out a single chapter, let alone 10 or 20.