HELLO VALUED CUSTOMER!

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR QUICK, CHEAP, OR SAFE TRANSPORT ACROSS THE WASTES?

THEN YOU HAVE COME TO RIGHT DESK/GARAGE/HOVEL/PRISONER'S CELL!

WE HERE AT EMPY'S TRANSPORT CAN ASSIST YOU IN ANY TRANSPORT/SMUGGLING/EXTRADITION NEEDS!

MEDICINE? SURE! WATER? NO PROBLEM! ARMS? YES! ACTUAL ARMS? ABSOLUTELY!

OUR EMPLOYEES ARE WELL TRAINED AND WILL KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON THE GOODS AS LONG AS IT'S NECESSARY!

OUR PASSENGER QUARTERS CAN EASILY BE PERSONALIZED TO WHATEVER YOU WISH! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED BY OTHER CUSTOMERS THAT YOU TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY!

EXPERIENCE A VARIETY OF DIFFERENT CUISINES FROM ACROSS THE PLANET, SCAVENGED FROM THE CORPSES OF WOULD-BE ATTACKERS, OR GO ORGANIC AND EAT WHATEVER GOES UNDER OUR WHEELS!

BE SURE TO CONSULT ONE OF OUR EASILY IDENTIFIABLE EMPLOYEES FOR ANY FURTHER QUESTIONS!

NO REFUNDS!

First non-school-related story. Third story ever. Let's get this train wreck started. Constructive criticism will go a long way to making this story readable.
AU tag for what is technically called Broad Strokes, but will eventually be called Cannon Defilement by most readers. Additional tags will be added depending on where this story goes.

A big thank you to the LeTourmeau company and the US Army for coming up with the crazy awesome idea of fitting monster truck wheels to a train.