Diary of the Yet Unknown

Chapter four
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Monster Running, Slave Driving

The thing about Eldritch abominations, or like mosters thereof, is that if they've taken the time and effert to appear in your room without you realising, then they probably have more in mind that a surprise birthday party for you.

I found myself wondering what this thing might be as I stared the thing in it's face. I also wondered if it realised that it had missed by birthday by seven months.

It's face was grotesque. It's eyes weren't the same size, the nose was simply three nostrils diagonally arranged on its face and I'm pretty sure it didn't have a neck.The short tentacles around it's face did not make it prettier, nor did it's dark green colour. Though it was hard to tell through the black miasma the thing was exuding.

But it was rather easy to tell that it was pissed.

I stood there for like, one second before bolting. It gave chase. That made me scared.

Something about doorways in Equestria, they're small. Which makes sense as they are made for ponies, most of which stand at least a head shorter than myself.

The monster chasing me was huge, so I expected it to not be able to fit through. A crashing sound told me it didn't care. The angry moan that followed told me to keep running. Fortunately I never stopped.

I don't think the ponies were prepared for my first daylight appearance in Ponyville, such a shame. I ran out of the library and continued doing so.

The monster continued breaking through doorways. Man, I am not footing that bill. I thought briefly. The loud moan that followed this announced to all the town that something was going on, and it involved a scary moaning monster.

Something I have found about the ponies is that they don't typically have the best mindset for danger. I've met a few, stress on word 'few', people that have good crisis management skills, but as I ran through the town with monster behind me it was clear that none of the before mentioned people were among the ponies present.

So they all stood still as the big and angry green tentacle monster rampaged.

Quickly enough, it moaned again. Loudly, of course. What other cue for all hell breaking loose was there?

Oh yeah, all hell broke loose. Ponies were running and screaming everywhere, which was fine by me. Understandable even, given the circumstances. But the fact that most of them just had to run in front of me was not.

Oh, come on! Ran through my head each time I was cut off, only it became more profane with the addition of 'fuck', 'shit' and 'bitch' each time.

Somehow, after managing not to get trampled by ponies or caught by a tentacle monster for what seemed like forever, the crowd of ponies cleared up enough for me to look around without being tripped.

I looked around and found that a brown coloured pony was running right next to me dragging his cart along with him. His mostly empty cart, which had enough space for oh, I dunno, one just shorter than average, thin human? Guess who fit the bill?

I'm no parkour master though, so trying to jump onto the cart side on didn't work out. I ended up with my arms over the side of the thing, trying to bring myself up and doing all I could to not get my legs crushed by the wooden wheels. But I got inside eventually and lay down to catch my breath.

The pony that was now unwittingly dragging me along started slowing, thinking that he had outrun the beast. He looked back and found me in his leeks. He looked up and saw a big tentacle monster running straight toward him.

The pony was no Japanese schoolgirl, I'll give him that. Judging by the fact that he accelerated so much that I had to grab the sides of the cart to hold on.

I stayed on the cart for another minute or two until the pony started slowing down.

“Hey.” I yelled at him. “What's your name?”

“Green... Leek...” He panted out. The hell is wrong with all these ponies names? I frowned.

“See that alley over there?” I leaned over so he could see where I was pointing. “I need you to run through that.”

“But-”

“Stop talking!” I yelled, smacking him on the back of the head. Somewhat lightly. “You'll bite your tongue. Now turn!”

Fortunately he listened to me, so through the alley we went. Though I have no doubt that he only did because he was more scared than a wife during a castle siege.

The alley we went through was just wide enough for the cart to fit through and the monster chasing us was, from my estimate, too big to fit through. I was right.

I told my pony slave to turn again after looking back at the thing. It had stopped at the other end of the alley and wasn't following. It couldn't break through those walls like it had the doorways, so I assumed I was safe.

Until I saw the thing sailing through the sky that is.

Yes, of course. Give the big, evil monster jumping powers. What monster is complete without it?

It hit the ground with so much force that the buildings near where it landed next to shook and a window cracked. That made me feel less safe, and I already felt less safe than an untrained tightrope walker doing his thing over a crocodile infested river.

The monster did his moaning thing again, only this time it sounded more like a roar. If anything it made it more scary.

Green Leek had started panting loudly from running so much. I assumed it was because of all the running and figured that he was of no more use to me, so I ditched him, jumping off his cart and running back to the main street through another alley.

The impact of the monster hitting the ground and his massive roar were only slightly disconcerting, and I'd gotten my breath back from my initial sprint through town, so I was ready to run.

And run I did.

It was all too soon when I started running out of breath again, and the abomination chasing me wasn't letting up. If anything it seemed to be running faster.

It was as I was checking behind me to make that observation that I got tackled by a pony I hadn't seen approaching. I hit the ground, suddenly going sideways. When I finally stopped, I saw something I didn't really want to see.

But the monster was definitely a he.

Perverted thoughts aside, the pony that had tackled me hadn't said sorry, which was rude, and was dragging a cart behind him. Self preservation kicked in, I grabbed on, being dragged through the dirt hurt and I was eventually able to drag myself onto the cart, this one considerably more full but with apples rather than leeks.

I mentally decided that I didn't want to do that particular move a third time.

The pony that had hit me, that was now dragging me along with him, hopefully to safety, was coloured red and considerably bigger than the other ponies I had seen. Buff too.

I looked back to see that the monster had definitely not stopped accelerating.

“Hey!” I yelled behind me. “What's your name?”

“Mac.” He said, not even panting all that hard.

“What, like Big Mac?” I thought that meant a burger. With meat.

“Eeyup”

“I hate to ask things of people bigger than me, but could you please run faster.”

He looked back and looked at the big Eldritch abomination chasing his rear. Quite closely too. Gay joke incoming.

“Eeyup.” And with that, he ran faster.

Big Mac was actually able to maintain a reasonable distance from the monster. Until we reached the edge of town that is.

When we left the town's limits the monster roared. Really roared. None of that moaning crap he had been doing before. He had definitely gotten bigger, now being near the size of an elephant where before he had been closer to the size of a bull.

I had spent the ride keeping an eye on the monster, grotesque as it was, to make sure he didn't make any sneaky moves. So I got a good view of it turning into a big puff of black smoke as he chased us past the last building.

That's smoke, not miasma. The dark stuff that it was exuding off had gotten thicker as it chased us through town and now he, in gaseous form, retreated back into Ponyville.

Crisis averted and adrenalin running low, I just stared at where the smoke had been. I'm pretty sure that Big Mac tried talking to me, but it didn't register. So I guess he just shrugged and brought me along.

I was vaguely aware of the two of us arriving at a farm. Then I heard Mac talking so someone that sounded like him, but female. I was finally taken out of my stupor by someone nudging me without using restraint.

“Hey partner.” The new pony said. As the gears started moving in my head I immediately realised that this was the same voice I had heard at the Cake's place. “Mind telling me what you're doing in my apple cart?”

“Well...” I responded, brain still kicking into gear. “See, there was this thing chasing me, don't know what to call it. Do you know what to call it?” The orange pony shook her head. “Then I'll call it Jim. So Jim was chasing me through town, quite intent on me I would add, and not with good intent at that. There were several instances when Jim jumped over entire rows of buildings. He seemed to be getting bigger the longer he chased me and have you heard his moans?”

She nodded her head.

“So. While that was happening I decided that I had a craving for apples and I saw that this cart had plenty of apples in it so I jumped at the chance. Then I got dragged through the dirt and ended up on your cart. Did I mention that I was being chased by a gigantic hentai monster called Jim?”

“What does Hentai mean?” A new voice spoke out. I leaned over the cart and saw a young pony staring up at me. Kind of cute actually.

“I dunno Applebloom.” The still unnamed pony said before looking me in the eye. “What does it mean?” You don't want to know. I know I didn't.

“Things not meant for kids.” I said after deliberating on whether this Applebloom was mature enough for the truth.

“Aww...” Applebloom wilted. It was cute.

“Applebloom, go inside and finish lunch.” The orange pony cut in.

Applebloom sighed. “Sure, fine.” And pouted off. I was jealous, I'd never had that kind of control over my younger brother. It would have saved me many a headache.

“Now I never seen one of you before.” The only remaining female said. “What are you?”

“I'm a human and the names Sherry." I introduced myself “I already know Big ol' Mac's over there, but I don't know yours. If you would.”

“I'm Applejack.” Applejack introduced herself. I was stoked.

“No way, really?” I hadn't met another person named after a drink before, this was a first.

“Yeah, why?”

“Wait. You don't see the connection?” Applejack shook her head. “Do you know what beer is?”

“I can't say I do.” She said. I looked at Big Mac.

“Nope.” He said simply.

I sighed. “Damn.”

“So what are you doing here?” Applejack asked.

“I just told you that story. Remember Jim?” She sighed. “Or, I could be more broad and tell you why I'm here in a planetary sense. For which the answer is something I don't know.”

“I didn't ask for that. But does that mean you're from another planet?”

“Hell if I know.” Shit. I just realised how much that bothers me. “Are we going to have an interrogation session?”

Applejack looked at me for a few seconds. “Sure, I'm all done working for today. Just get off the cart first. Big Mac needs to put it in the barn.”

“Uh, sis.” Big Mac said. Then he looked at the barn. It was in terrible shape, I could tell from as far away as I was.

Applejack facehoofed, which was actually quite funny to see. “Of course. We were going to raze that barn today. Mac, go put the cart somewhere safe. I'll talk to Sherry.”

Big Mac didn't seem too bothered to miss out on the interrogation, so he just shrugged and pulled the cart away once I'd gotten off of it.

“You want to start?” Applejack asked me.

“Depends on our first topic of interrogation.” I replied.

“Don't call it an interrogation. It's unpleasant.”

I waved my hand. “Don't worry about it. I'll try not to be too belligerent.”

“Thanks” She thanked me. You're fucking welcome. You actually appreciate non-belligerency.

It was in this setting that we talked about me. Applejack asked all sorts of questions to which I answered as best we could. I told her that I'd been to see the Cakes and the mayor had come to see me, for all the good that did.

She was also filled in on Pinkie Pie going off to Canterlot to see the princess. She said it explained why she wasn't here throwing a last party for the barn.

“She's a strange one that Pinkie.” Applejack told me.

“Oh, I know that.” I said, thinking about some of the things she had done.

“Frankly I'm surprised she didn't throw you a party before she left.”

“What?”

Applejack explained Pinkie Pie as best she could. All I gathered from that exchange was that Pinkie was a strange one. Only to an extent I hadn't though of before. I didn't like the idea of Pinkie throwing parties for everyone and quite frankly I'd just say no. Though it sounded like other people had tried that rout to no avail.

I started turning the conversation back around on Applejack here. I asked questions about the monster, Ponyville and Equestria in general. But what I got was just re-hashing of what I already knew.

Applejack tried to ask about my world, but I countered with questions about her.

I learnt that she was an apple farmer almost exclusively, along with her brother, little sister and Granny Smith, who I assumed was actually a granny from the way names worked around here. But farmers are simple, so there wasn't much else for us to talk about after that. Until my stomach rumbled, that is.

“Whoa, that was a sound.” Applejack commented when my stomach was done.

“Yep.” I said, turning a bit red.

“When did you last eat?”

I did quick mental calculations. “This time yesterday. Say, you have anything I could eat?”

“Sure, I'd whip you up something. But I don't know what you eat.”

I looked around. Mainly so I wouldn't look Applejack in the eye while I thought about the fact that I eat meat. I'd found in our shortish conversation that Applejack was a really good judge of character and I'm sure she didn't see me as totally honest, though that doesn't mean I should clue her in every time I spin a lie. Or not tell the whole truth.

Fortunately, something caught my eye that saved me.

“Say, got any apples?”

That question was met with roaring laughter, the first real laughter I'd heard since coming here. So that was refreshing.

But I didn't find it as funny, so I just looked at her until she calmed down.

“Sure, we have apples.” And she took me inside where I was given the option to choose from a range of meals. All apple themed of course. In the end I went with an apple pie, which was better than I thought it would be.

We conversed as I ate, mostly talking about apple related foods since that seemed to be the whole gimmick of this farm. I met Granny Smith for the first time too, she was exactly like I expected her to be. Old, green and kind of sour. Applebloom had apparently finished her lunch and had gone into town.

When I was almost done with my food we were interrupted by Big Mac sticking his head through the door.

“Sis.” He said simply.

“Consarn it, I forgot didn't I?” Applejack asked.

“Eeyup.” He doesn't really say much. I observed. Then Applejack turned to me.

“I need to go tear a barn down.” She explained. “Now, I don't completely trust you just yet, but work is work, and I should get to it.”

I waved my hand that wasn't holding a fork. Not too sure why the ponies had forks but I wasn't complaining.

“Go do it. I'm interested in seeing things getting destroyed so I'll be right over. I'm also fairly sure that old Smithie over here would woop my ass if I tried anything.”

“I'll do more than woop ya.” She told me.

“Case in point.”

“Well. I'll see you soon then.” Applejack said as she walked out. “C'mon Mac.”

Big Mac, who had been just standing there judging me waited a second before following his sister. That told me they didn't trust me. I wasn't hurt by this, I understood well enough. If an unknown alien came to my house, got himself invited in, ate my food and was saying sarcastic things the whole time, I wouldn't trust them either.

The tearing down of the barn would fun to watch, and certainly more entertaining than sitting in that room back in the Library I figured. I've always had a distaste for being bored and an affinity for destruction, even though I wasn't very good at it.

I had just about arrived when I got jumped. Literally. The jump was a bit higher than I would have liked, considering that I cleared the trees.

“What the hell!?” Was my first reaction. My second reaction was to look down. An action that was arguably the stupidest thing to do in situations like mine.

I've never had much against heights. Vertigo however, which I started feeling as soon as I looked down, is something that hasn't ever agreed with me.

Fortunately the jump didn't last longer than five seconds, as I was thrown to the ground in front of the barn doing that feet in the air thing I've always seen done in the cartoons. I ticked that off my imaginary bucket list, but the taste didn't leave my mouth 'till the next day.

“AJ! I found this thing sneaking up on you.” A female voice shouted from above me.

“Really? What thing?” Applejack asked. I looked up from my spot on the ground in time to see her sigh. She was wearing this red helmate which looked a bit funny on her. “Rainbow Dash. This is Sherry, he's a human. I'm not too sure how he feels about being thrown to the ground.”

“I'm sure though.” I said through gritted teeth as I slowly picked myself up. “I don't appreciated it all that much.” I turned around to see the blue pegasus I had seen on my first day floating behind me.

I believe in repaying favours so I slapped her.

“Ow!” She yelled as she spun to the ground. Must have hit her harder than I thought. Ah well. “What the hell?”

I glowered at her. “Throw me to the ground and you can expect me to react in kind.”

“So that's how you want to play it?” She asked, quickly getting right in my face.

“Hey, hey. Calm down you two.” Applejack intervened, pushing the two of us apart. “Sherry, you don't want trouble right? Calm down.”

“Oh?” I snarled. “And she wants trouble?”

“You can bet I want trouble.” Rainbow Dash told me through gritted teeth, still trying to get at me.

“Rainbow.” Applejack warned. “Stop it. Sherry.” She looked right at me. “Stop.”

“Will do.” I said eventually, letting my furrowed brows return to normal. I looked at Rainbow Dash, who was still looking at me with fire in her eyes.

“Darn it. Is this going to be a problem?” Applejack asked the two of us.

I shrugged. “Depends on her.”

The 'her' in question responded with. “Depends on him.”

Applejack threw her hands up. Only she has no hands and used hooves instead. “I'm half a mind to just let you two go at it, but I kinda like the two of you an' I don't want to see either of you get hurt.”

“Wait, you like him?” Rainbow Dash asked in disbelief.

“Sure, he's funny.” I will remember that. “Even if he's not quite what I'm used to, what am I supposed to expect? He's alright.”

“Why?”

“Didn't I just explain that?”

Hearing Applejack talk about me like that, even if what she said was based on a few jokes and a ten minute conversation, made my pride swell up. So I decided to just suck it up and try sort things out.

“Hey.” I tried to get their attention. It worked for Applejack but Rainbow Dash was trying to comprehend Applejack's acceptance of myself. “I'm willing to forget about this if you are, Rainbow Dash.” I used her name to get her attention. “Got that?”

“What. Put it behind me?” Rainbow Dash asked skeptically.

“I'm sorry.”

“What?”

“I'm sorry for slapping you.” I apologised with my fingers crossed. “There, I left it behind me. Please do the same.”

Rainbow Dash seemed confused. I don't think she was expecting me to cave like that.

“Uh. Sure.”

Applejack seemed relieved that was over, if her sigh of relief was any indication.

“Now that you've finished squabbling, care to help me tear this barn down?” She asked us. I write us, but she didn't really direct that at me. Makes sense, considering my thin frame.

“Sure!” Rainbow Dash brightened up, remembering why she was here. Which I assume was to tear the barn down if Applejack's words could be trusted. So far she hadn't lied, so they could.

“I'll pass.” I said. “While I do enjoy things like that, I feel I would just get in your way.”

“That's okay.” Applejack told me. “I'm really just here to pick up after RD.” I fitted the nickname to Rainbow Dash immediately.

At the mention of her name, Rainbow Dash grinned and jumped into the air, going straight up. She seems awfully quick to show off. I observed.

“So what's she going to do?” I asked.

“You'll see.” Applejack answered cryptically. “Oh, and I'd take cover if I were you.” And with that, she jumped for cover.

“Why?” I asked, looking up. Rainbow Dash had reached her desired height and started coming back down, fast.

Looking around I saw Big Mac also running for cover. I heard a whistling sound, a screaming mare, looked up and saw a streak of multicoloured light aproaching and figured that they were finding cover for a reason. I figured I should do the same.

I managed to get behind a tree before the blast hit. Boy, was I glad I did.

I didn't get a direct look at the explosion, but if I did, I'm pretty sure I'd be blinded if the red cloud of smoke and the debris that flew past were indication.

When the dust settled I poked my head out to see a mushroom shaped cloud of rainbow coloured dust rising from where the barn used to be. A very proud Rainbow Dash stood in the middle.

Applejack trotted up next to me.

“I wasn't going to comment on the helmate.” I commented. “But I understand why.” That got a chuckle out of her.

“Well, usually RD goes at the Barn a bit before pulling that move, but this time the barn was so damaged I told her to just wreck it.” Applejack explained. “Sorry for not warning you.”

“Nah, it's okay.” I told her. “You've, as you said, had a busy day. That is usually enough for me to forgive an oversight like that. Even with the whole monster business going around. But advanced warning would be preferable next time.”

Big Mac walked over. “Second that.”

Rainbow Dash, meanwhile, was wondering where her applause was.

“Guys, where's my applause?” She asked.

I looked up at the still present rainbow cloud. “I'm still getting over the explosion.”