As Expected, There's No Such Thing as a Dream Come True.

Let's not beat around the bush.

I did, by all accounts, desire to live a pleasant life where I never had to work nor mind anyone else's opinions about me. Moreover, I was wholly justified in that fantasy - I mean, can you really disagree with me? Could you look me in the eye and say, completely seriously, that you don't desire the same thing somewhere deep in your heart? Can anybody? However, this fantasy of mine that I had always entertained had previously existed only in the plane of human existence. Not even once had I considered the possibility that the paradise I had always sought in life existed in a colorful and vibrant world populated by nonhuman creatures with IQ's lower than Japan's birth rate! Wow, my luck is superb!

..Of course that's not what I'm going to say. If I was that romantic of a person, I'd have enrolled into a school for the arts, majored in theater, and gotten engaged to some air-headed girl with pastel colored hair I met in Advanced Scriptwriting 101.

In short, screw that. I don't buy into any of this for even a second.

I suppose, the best way to articulate my feelings would be..

"Fuck!"

"Ph.. f-- phu.. fu-what? What in the name of Celestia could a word like that mean? Spike, could you fetch my notepad and an inkpen?"

"Sure thing, Twilight! Gee, sure sounds funny, doesn't it? F.. Fu.."

"Stop repeating after me! Don't write that down! Actually, stop scrutinizing my words in the first place!"

I stood there stupidly, clad in a very tousled school uniform and with equally as ruffled hair. I'm sure my face wasn't looking exactly rosy either, as I had woken up just thirty minutes prior to this little run-in here.

I know how my day had started. With almost startling clarity at that.

I had risen at the usual time in the comfort of my own bed, thoroughly not wanting to leave behind the warmth but gritting my teeth and pushing through regardless. I washed, put on my school uniform, shoved last night's assignments into my bag and slung it across my back, and departed with no breakfast. I lived right above where my mother worked and, her being the owner of a 24/7 hairdresser, there was usually no hot meal to wish me a good day at school waiting for me on the kitchen table.

In spite of this, I usually bought something on the way there anyways - the station would have a few shops selling morning pastries for cheap, and the train that left for school wouldn't come for a while. I was assured in that short time that I could enjoy a nourishing start to my day without any scarcity of efficiency. I ate, waited, and boarded the train which, now that I recall, seemed slightly off-color. And as those stainless steel doors closed shut, with me safely standing behind them, I..

I don't remember.

Then, on a sofa far too small for me, my consciousness had returned to me, and I found myself inside what looked like a bizarre cross between a library and a tree house. On top of that, it looked very surreal - or rather, unreal. None of my surroundings held any of the texture or finesse of real wood or genuine material - almost as if I had been thrown headfirst into some sort of cartoon. In my confusion, I had fallen off my apparent resting place and hit my head on the supposedly cartoonish wooden floor, which really didn't feel any different from a regular wood floor in terms of hardness. Due to the ruckus I had caused, I had garnered the attention of some.. creatures.

Standing before me in that moment was something that resembled a horse - save for the fact that it's eyes were freakishly huge and it's voice was undeniably human - and something that resembled a lizard, except that it's limbs were extremely small and that it stood on it's hind legs. The lizard's voice was also undeniably human. Both were shorter than me, the lizard more so than the horse, who's head only came up to about my abdominal area.

There was an illogical, irrational disconnect between how my day started and where I was in the present, so really, just how was I to make sense of this bizarre situation without going totally insane? I concentrated, intensely, on scouring my memories of what might have occurred when those train doors closed shut..

Suddenly, pain hit me. A stinging, unpleasant sensation attacked my mind from all directions. I stumbled backwards a few steps, instinctively pressing my left palm against my forehead, as if enough pressure would make this migraine scram.

"Hold on a moment, are you alright?"

The purple one took a few tentative steps towards me.

Ugh. I couldn't stand the sight of it. Something about this strangely nonhuman creature speaking to me with such a cute voice threw me off intensely.

"Just.. just give me a second, okay?" I said weakly, holding my free hand up in defense.

It halted in it's tracks, a clear sense of concern spreading over her strange and disproportionate features. Good, it seemed willing to listen to me provided I spoke rationally and with reasonable tone.  Same thing went for the lizard, who had long since abandoned the notepad and ink pen he was meant to bring in favor of a small towel which, from the looks of it, had been soaking up my sweat in my sleep.

The pain subsided.

I let out a sigh that was larger than life itself and was prepared to settle back down onto the sofa I rose from when--

"One, one-thousand! Time's up! Let's party now!"

Cue an ear-wrenching whooping that I'm sure reached a frequency just short of that of a dog whistle.

What was it again? "Rationally", and with "reasonable tone"?

"Agh, shut up!" I almost yelled, "you're annoying as hell!"

The pink one edged up very close to my face, her extremely huge and vivacious eyes drilling into mine with curiosity so palpable you could cut it with a butter knife.

"Hell?" she inquired, "who's that? Does she like parties?"

If I had a mirror close by, I would have deliberately practiced a frown in front of it that could deliver exactly the amount of contempt I had for this creature and her obtuse question in full.

The purple one stepped forwards, a slightly stern expression on her features.

"Pinkie, didn't you hear him? He said he needed a moment!"

"That was a moment, Twilight! A really long one too! Like, a week of a moment! A month! Years!"

The purple one let out a weary sigh, like she was already very used to this. For some odd reason, I found myself sympathizing with her.

"In any case," she continued still with a voice that sounded a hundred years worn, "can't you see he's not comfortable?"

"Really?"

Again with the closey-uppy-ness. Enough with this already!

"He looks like a real party animal to me!"

I decided that if this thing wasn't going to get out of my face, I was going to get out of it's. I removed myself from the sofa and tried putting some distance between myself and this freak of nature when my back bumped into something firm, yet surprisingly fleshy. I glanced behind me, and lo and behold, there stood another abomination unassailable by any scientific explanation for it's form or existence. This one was orange, and it was wearing a tacky brown hat.

"Woah, woah, woah! Hold up there, partner!"

Who the hell is your partner? I thought venomously.

"I know yer probably real confused an' all, but there ain't no need to go bumpin' into every pony!"

It spoke with a clearly distinctive southern dialect. I wasn't sure if this was any worse than dealing with the pink one or not.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, my bad," I said insincerely, taking a step away from the orange one before my foot caught on something.

"W-woah!" That panicked voice belonged to the purple one.

"Look out!" The lizard.

It took every ounce of strength I had not to topple backwards. I quickly turned about-face, ready to give whatever was in my way a piece of my mind. Surprisingly, what waited for me wasn't another one of those things, but actually a.. a turnip?

"E-excuse me mister, but is this the kind of food that 'humans' eat? I got something quickly from the garden, but I'm not sure if it.."

The turnip was speaking to me. It had no mouth, but an undeniably feminine voice emitted from it's characteristic purple/white skin.

"O-oh, I don't suppose all animals like these kinds of vegetables as much as I thought.. u-um.."

My eyes followed the vegetable as it settled on the ground. In turn, replacing it was..

"How about a nice sunflower?"

Who am I fooling? It was another horse. This one was the color of vanilla ice cream, and absurdly pink hair sprouted from it's head. Sure enough, in between it's two hooves held out to me, there was held a single sunflower. It squirmed a bit, seemingly in a fix between her nervousness and insatiable curiosity.

This wasn't even worth a response.

I turned away, hoping finally to escape this total madness and find some peace and quiet someplace else. Thankfully, this time, there was nothing in my way. I saw something resembling a door a few feet away and approached it gratefully.

The purple one spoke up, "Hey, hold on!--"

Too late. I'd had enough.

Well, I wish I didn't, because it turns out leaving the room didn't solve any of my problems at all. More or less, it compounded on them.

In the adjacent room, there was a white one with something violet and outrageously curly for hair scurrying about. What looked like a wardrobe from a fashion design school was hovering around her.. suspended by strings, I assumed stupidly.

"Oh, you're awake!"

Her attention was abruptly focused on my person, and I was absolutely delighted to find her eyes were as freakishly huge and disgustingly cute as the other's. It's voice was surprisingly feminine, however - more so than some of the other creature's. I was thrown off for a moment,

"I--"

"Good, good," she interrupted rudely, "this makes things very easy! I mean, I do have magic on my side, but undressing and redressing you while asleep would be quite a hassle! Your timing is just perfect!"

I thought and spoke simultaneously, "Wait wh--?"

"Oh, shush, shush, not another word my dear!" Her words were sickeningly sweet. "The moment I saw you sleeping there on Twilight's couch, I just knew that this dress would look absolutely charming on you!"

What.

"Now come, come, come along dear! I found it just now! Isn't your timing just perfect?"

No, nothing about this is perfect. This posh creature's brain must have been diseased of some sorts to come to that conclusion. And why is it getting closer and closer?

That's not right. It's me who's approaching it - and not by walking, but through the air.

Shit on a stick, I was levitating!

"Wo- wouaaughh!"

A sound I didn't even know I could make left my mouth as I desperately writhed in confusion.

"Oh, dear," she cried, "don't make such a fuss! It only makes this more difficult!"

"Sto- wait, I- wait!"

The door was thrown open behind me as a slew of pathetic stuttered words left my mouth.

"Rarity!"

The purple one again. She was quite the hero. I would have gotten down on one knee and kissed her hoof for her abundant kindness if I wasn't being hoisted off like a damsel in some corny B-rate alien movie.

"Oh, Twilight! Perfect timing!"

Enough with the damn 'perfect timing'!

"Rarity, what are you doing?!"

I was glad, at least, for the incredulousness in her voice.

"Why, I'm dressing this human creature up! What else does it look like I'm doing?"

"Alright, alright, my bad for asking - just hurry up and put him down!"

"Whaaat? Twilight, dear, you know I've been holding back this entire time! This creature's been asleep for the better part of an entire day yet you won't allow me to dress him here and now? In this spectacular dress? With this perfect timing?"

Like I said, enough with the --

"No, I won't!" She cried indignantly, "now hurry up and put him down, or I'll..!"

The white one sighed before the purple one could finish.

"Alright, I suppose as a refined pony such as myself can show a bit more restraint in this area.."

And as suddenly as I was in the air, I was on the ground, and my ass killed. This wood floor was not kidding around. I rose to my feet with a pained groan, rubbing the spot where I had landed with delicacy. The purple one and the lizard were there at my side.

"Are you alright?" she asked, failing to sound concerned for me in the slightest as her eyes wandered to my left buttock in apparent wonder. Despite the pain still raging down there, I stopped rubbing it.

"Yeah," I spoke drearily, "I think.."

And as if I were waking out of a nightmare, I jumped with a start. Why was I conversing normally with this thing?

"I need to get out of here."

I said that more to myself than anybody else as I left that room behind me, passed by the creatures from before and headed for the double doors that looked like they headed out. The windows beyond them showed something at least a bit promising; I was more than ready to get something like fresh air for the first time in what felt like hours. I needed it.

A few feet away from the door, I ascertained that it was a "push" door with my eyes and reached out for the handle when I heard something like distant yelling. Screaming, more like. Or perhaps, something more akin to a war cry?

"Here it comes! I call this one the Supersonic Housecrash! Get ready for this one, Twilight!"

It sounded far away. Nothing that concerned me.

I threw open the double doors and was met with..

..with..

...

..Huh? It's pitch black.

That doesn't make any sense. I could clearly see something vaguely resembling the outdoors from those windows a second ago. Where the hell am I? What happened to me?

Thankfully, a few seconds later, my sight started coming back to me. A moment later, so did my hearing.

"What were you thinking Rainbow Dash?"

The purple one's voice again. Was it starting to grow on me..?

No, not likely.

"Hey, how is this my fault?! I had no idea the thing would be standing right were I was coming in through! This is.. it's fault!"

A new voice. It was rude and I disliked it immediately.

"It's a he, Rainbow! And even so, what if one of the other ponies were standing in front of those doors? Some pony could have gotten seriously hurt!"

Ugh.. regardless of the conversation, the voices were louder than than they needed to be. The pain was starting to return.

"O-oh! Twilight, he's coming around!"

I remember that voice. It belonged to the turnip- no, the yellow one.

"Oh, thank goodness! Rainbow Dash, we're going to talk later, okay?"

"Pffh, whatever."

Footsteps - no, hoofsteps approached me. It was all so necessarily loud.

"How're you feelin'?"

The orange one. Man, I never gave it much thought previously, but that accent really rubbed me the wrong way.

"Listen, we all know Rainbow is a fierce gal an' all, but really, you'll live through this! All it takes is a little kick and you'll be up an' runnin' again like nothin' ever happenned!"

"P-please don't actually kick him, Applejack."

"Wouldn't dream of it, sugarcube. Just a figure o' speech."

My eyes were beginning to open, but it hurt to use my sight. A lot of things hurt. I decided to stop trying and sank back into unconsciousness.

"Deary me, he does look tired.."

And as soon as my consciousness just began to resurface, it went back to black.

Bam. Level One cleared. If my life had devolved to such a shitty game, then I'm sure this is the part where the results of my performance would appear in front of me. I'm no gamer, but I'm fairly certain I would have at least achieved a solid 100% completion score on this stage. After all, I reacted very appropriately to the situation, in a manner that was true to myself - I was rude to everything and everyone in it, and clearly and concisely expressed my burning desire to be anywhere else but there. There was always the possibility that my mental constitution would crack under the ordeal of having to wrap my mind around my surroundings -  to be honest, I felt that I had coped with waking up in a new world with a great more deal of realism than some might have. Then again, maybe I was just in denial. I couldn't be sure, not until I had all the facts - which I didn't.

What had really happened to me? Why was I here and how? What took place between those train doors closing shut and my waking up in a different place entirely?

I was certain by that point, at least, that I was no longer a resident of the world I once knew.

It was always a personal dream of mine to live according to my own desires, to live freely in a place where I didn't need to worry about many of the poisonous things that the secular society that had always existed around me shoved onto my person. Working until death, marrying and falling in love, constructing a fake version of myself to appease a broken world.  But that's why it was personal, and also why it was a dream - because it was fruitless and impossible. I knew it was never going to come to fruition, but part of that knowing-ness was what put one foot in front of the other, day in and day out.

Dreams don't come true. Fantasies are fantasies because they're works of fiction, conjured by the mind and further crafted by imagination. They happen to us without fail because we're constantly yearning for a better situation than the one we live in; but if, by some wild turn of events, you find yourself thinking that your wildest ambitions really could come to fruition, then you've been made the victim of a very old and terrible lie.

Truly, there's no such thing as a "dream come true." If this isn't proof then I quite frankly don't know what else could suffice.

As Expected, There's No Such Thing as a Dream Come True.

0: Prologue END