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I’ve been trapped in a cave for a couple days, but honestly, I don’t mind that much.

There’s plenty of plants in the cave, and there’s even a stream of fresh water. Sometimes I’m tempted to swim in it, but I don’t want to soil it.

When the entrance to the cave caved in on me, I panicked. I cried for hours, sure that I was going to die in there. I calmed down after I found food, but I quickly became bored with nothing to do for hours on end. It was pretty dark and I couldn’t see much either, but after a few days my eyes adjusted and I realized that the cave wasn’t boring at all.

The walls of the cave had many sparkling gemstones embedded in them. I’m a geologist, so naturally I was immediately captivated by them. Instead of spending my days sitting in the dark  wishing I had something to do, I started using my waking hours studying the cave and exploring it. The cave isn’t large, but it is filled from top to bottom with amazing stalactites and minerals.

It’s a geologist’s dream.

I’ve never been much of a social pony, so I never felt lonely. I felt content in my little prison, and I felt no urgency to leave. So when a hyperactive pony gets trapped in the cave with me, I am less than pleased.

*****

I’m crunching on some leaves when a small glimmer of light catches my eye. Small beams of light shining in from cracks in the rocks are normal, but this one is new, so I notice it right away. It seems to be expanding. Normal light filtering through doesn’t do that.

Also, cracks in the rock don’t usually talk.

“C’mon, you stupid rocks. Move so I can see what’s behind you!” the voice demands.

I carefully creep towards the voice.

“Lemme in this cave! I want to exploooooooooore!” Some more rocks fell away, letting in more light. I squint my eyes against it; being in almost complete darkness for almost a week made light quite painful to my eyes.

Thankfully, it only lasts a second. A head pops through the hole in the rocks and cuts off the light burning my eyes.

“Heya there! Are you a rock farmer too? ‘Cause I am and I was going to explore this cave because caves are super-duper cool. Do you live in here? It’s a strange place to live. I mean, who would live in a cave? I live in a bakery and I probably eat too much sugar, but I don’t care. I feel bad for you. Why would you live in a cave? There’s no sugar here! I brought cupcakes, do you want any?” She tilts her head to the side as much as she can in the tight space, expecting an answer.

I don’t give her one. Instead of disappointing her and going away like I was hoping she would, she shrugs and says, “Okie dokie lokie, I’ll just come inside and we can split the whole batch!”

“Nonono, wait!” I shout, but I’m too late. After lifting the cupcakes into the cave, the pony shoves herself through the hole she made, wiggling around to get herself completely through.

Surprisingly, the cave wall didn't collapse right away. The pink pony dusted herself off and stood up, all the while smiling like an idiot. "Hey, that was actually kind of fun! I should do that again!" she exclaims. I get the feeling that I can't stop her from doing anything, so I just watch her silently as she tries to dive back through the hole again. That’s when the wall caves in.

The pony squeals and dashes towards where I’m sitting faster than should be possible. I give her my best ‘see, I told you so’ look as she stares in disbelief at the crumbling wall. The cave-in results in the size of my living space decreasing a significant amount. Great, now I’m trapped in a small area with an annoying blob of pink fur.  “This is horrible!” she cries.

I glare at her. “Well, you did this. This is all your fault. You could have just left me alone, but noooooooo. You just had to go digging around my cave. Do you have anything to say for yourself?” I demand.

She sniffles. “Y-yes, I do. I’m sorry,” she says, tears dripping down her face and her poofy hair deflating a little. Wow, somepony is a little sensitive. At least she’s apologizing. I mean, it could be worse. She could be celebrating the fact that we’re now stuck in a claustrophobic area together. The cave in could have blocked off my access to the water, but I got lucky. Maybe this wouldn’t be that unbearable after all. Maybe the pony will prove to be a good companion. “I’m so sorry that you’ll never be able to eat those cupcakes because I left them behind and now they’re all smushed from the rocks,” she says. I groan facehoof. Suddenly shifting moods from despair to happiness, she says “But look on the bright side. Now that the cave is smaller, we can’t get lost! We can spend our time having parties in this little room. Of course, it won’t be the same without cupcakes, but I’m sure we can manage. Maybe we can- hey, why do you keep hitting your face like that?”

*****

"No, don't jump! Stop! Oh for Celestia's sake! Why do I even bother? It's not like you were going to listen to me anyway," I groan in defeat. Pinkie Pie - she told me her name earlier sometime during an explanation about how chocolate was invented - pops her head out of my stream of fresh water.

"What? Is something wrong? Are we getting invaded by seaponies? Or maybe...zombies?!" She shrieks, jumping as high up into the air as the cave ceiling allows, which is still pretty high. I don't think I want to know how she managed to jump almost ten feet into the air. "Zombies! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"Pinkie Pie!" I shout, silencing her. "There are no zombies."

"Oh, okay. I guess there's nothing wrong then," she declares happily, diving back into what was once my source of drinking water, leaving me to my frustrated thoughts.

*****

"No, Pinkie, we cannot invite your sister over for a bachelor party."

"Why not?" she whines.

"Stop whining," I whine.

"No, you stop!" she protests.

"Pinkie, do you even know what a bachelor party is?" I ask. She shakes her head and I facehoof. "Exactly. Besides, how would we hold a party in this tiny area?" Pinkie snorts at that.

"I always manage. You're no fun, miss... Um... What's your name again?"

"Gathering Dust."

"Gathering Dust, I'm getting out of here." Pinkie pulls a giant gun-thing out of her mane while I stare wide-eyed at her. Squinting one eye, she aims at a wall and blasts right through it.

"But how..." I start, than shake my head. It's better not to question it. "Whatever. If you're leaving, I'm leaving," I say. We walk out of the cave together...

And find ourselves in the middle of the Everfree forest. Terrified, Pinkie jumps on me and clings to my leg. "I changed my mind. The Everfree forest is a scary place and I don't feel like singing the laughter song right now. If I have to go through it, I'm going with you."

I roll my eyes. Great, now I'm lost in the Everfree with this crazy pony. I really hope I can get home soon and never have to see her again.

Walking through the Everfree Forest is annoying. I would fly, but I have this annoying pink earth pony following me. If I so much as flap my wings, she freaks out and starts bawling. I always feel guilty when I make her sad, because she's just so... Happy.

Which really sucks, because I really want to stretch my wings out after being stuck in a cave for a week.

At least being lost in the Everfree forest is an improvement over being trapped in a cave. Not really, but it's what I tell myself to feel better about my current situation.

Pinkie Pie actually isn't that bad. Once you get used to her, she's actually almost likable. Almost.

"And so then I was all like 'hey Apple Fritter, want to try one of my apple fritters? Baking apple fritters isn’t really my forte but I promise you that they’re edible,'" Pinkie Pie laughs. I give her a forced smile. "Then, I took a pink poodle over to her house, but it had a serious case of dandruff so then I had to walk aaaaall the way to the store to buy that special shampoo. Then I washed it with the shampoo, but then I discovered that the poodle was not a natural pink when the shampoo washed away the fur dye!" Pinkie shakes her head. "Dogs these days," she says in a disapproving voice.

Starting to get a headache, I say "how about we set up camp here for the night?"

"But it's not even night yet," Pinkie protests.

"Yes, well..." I pause, trying to think up a good excuse. "Well, timberwolves like to eat ponies that set up camp during nightfall. We should do it now," I say. "Why don't you go look for food while I build us a lean-to?" Anything to get her out of my mane for a bit. I don’t actually know how to build a lean-to, but I’m sure I can figure it out. My father always built us a lean-to when he took me camping in the effort to get me interested in something other than rocks.

"Okie dokie lokie!" she says and bounces off to find food. Once she's gone, I glance over at my wings and sigh, fluttering them a little. My wings are my favorite part about myself. They're beige like the rest of my body, but they're tipped with white. They make me feel unique and special. First make a shelter, then you can fly, I remind myself.

I hurriedly build the makeshift lean-to and the campfire, eager to spread my wings and soar. Flying has always been a passion of mine, even though I'm not very good at it. I love the feeling of the wind combing through my mane and my feathers.

The lean-to collapses and I groan. Apparently, watching my dad put up lean-tos did not teach me anything. See, this is why I wanted to stay in the cave. You don't need to build a shelter inside it, seeing as the cave itself is one. The only reason I left was because there was no food left for me. That, and I wanted to make sure Pinkie Pie didn't accidently burn the Everfree forest down.

By the time I finally manage to set up a half decent lean-to, Pinkie Pie returns from her scavenging with a large variety of food for us. It's a lot of food, so I can't use sending her out to find more as an excuse to go flying.

"That's our camp? No offense, Dusty, but it's not very good," Pinkie says, sounding slightly disappointed.

"Sorry," I apologize, "I've never done this before. I expected you to be gone for longer finding food, which would've given me longer to figure this out."

"Here, let me help you," she offers. Before I can even open my mouth to thank her, she's sped off to fix the campsite. Starting with demolishing my pathetic attempt at a lean-to, she begins to build- wait no, she's done already. How... Sweet Luna, how did she do that? She's built an entire two-story log cabin and a cozy looking campfire area.

When I'm finally able to speak again, I ask "where did you learn to do that? This is amazing!" Pinkie Pie shrugs.

"Oh, on the rock farm where I grew up, sometimes we had to work on fields far from our home. Often, it was too late to make the walk home before dark, so we would build ourselves temporary shelters to last the night, like the one I just built," she explains.

Temporary? This thing is bigger than my own house! Then again, I live in a run down old apartment in Fillydelphia.

"Well thanks, Pinkie, this is too amazing for me to even comprehend," I say, truly grateful. Pinkie Pie's face suddenly appears very, very close to mine and I jump back with a small yelp of surprise. “Woah, back off a little. You’re in my space bubble.”

“Ooh, you have a space bubble? I’ve always wanted one! Is it made out of cheese or bubble? Wait, that must mean you have a bubble bush! Dusty Diane Shelf, why didn’t you tell me this before?” Pinkie Pie gasped, grabbing my face and shaking me so hard I almost felt sick.

“That’s not my name, you know,” I say, shaking my head to clear the dizziness. “My name is just Dusty. Nothing else.”