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by Sleepy Panda

dumb, error-ridden piece of flummery

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The prompt: A human finds a young pony abandoned in a cardboard box, and decides to raise them as their own.

The sky is a gloomy shade of gray, and it dumps gallons upon gallons of rain on my head as I trudge through the mud. It'll ruin my sneakers, but I don't care. After all, they're already ruined. What difference will a little bit of mud make?

When I reach my house, I hesitate outside of the front door. The woman waiting inside for me is not someone I want to face right now. She's clingy, acts like she's my boss, and fusses over me way too much. However, I have to admit I like the attention. Don't get me wrong, I still wish she'd learn that I'm an independent being and that she's not in charge of me. The attention is nice, though.

I push open the door and step inside, dripping water and mud onto the floor as I shut it behind me. "I'm home!" I call out into the hallway. A second later, I hear footsteps from above me and I see feet quickly descend the staircase and rush over to me. I'm swept up in a hug, then quickly deposited indignantly onto my butt on the floor, the woman realizing how soaking wet and dirty I am.

"Alexander Jonathan Wescott, you're dripping all over the wooden floor! Get back onto the doormat!" she demanded.

I grin sheepishly and take a step back to stand on the mat. "Sorry mom."

"Sorry is right. Why are you so wet? Where's the new umbrella and raincoat I got you?"

"I don't know..."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"I'll count to three..."

"Fine. I put them on a bench at the playground because it stopped raining so hard, but it started raining when I was walking home, right after Matt started being mean. I didn't want to go back to his house."

"So you left them there?"

"...yeah. I forgot them."

My mom sighed and shook her head. "All right. Once the rain dies down a little, you can go back up to the playground and get them, okay?"

"But mom, I don't wanna. Why can't you do that?" I whine.

"Alex..." she warns.

"Fine," I grumble. Stupid rain, stupid umbrella, stupid woman. One day, I'll get rich and famous and I won't have to listen to anybody. I'll just hire people to fetch my umbrella.

"Good. Anyway, I don't want you getting our house all dirty, and there's no point in making you dry off and change if you're just going back out later, so stay in this area. Got it?" I nod. "Okay. I'll go grab some towels to lay on the floor, and then- wait a second, I think the rain is slowing down."

I look out the window, and sure enough, the rain had slowed to a light drizzle. "So should I go now?"

"Yes, you should, but you're not going anywhere until you put your rain boots on, understand?"

I groan at this. Those things? I hate those things. My sneakers are so much better. "Why?" I ask.

"Because I say so. Put them on."

"Ugh," I groan. I do put them on, just not on my feet. After all, she never specified where I had to where them. "Now can I go?"

"Alex, put them on your feet. Don't be smart with me."

I roll my eyes, something I'd seen the older kids at school do a lot, and tilted my head so that the boots fell the the floor. As slowly as I could, I pulled the boots onto my feet, making a face all the while.

"Now hurry up," mom says when I finish, "you don't want to be out there when the rain starts up again. Trust me. I'll make some Mac n' cheese when you get back, okay?"

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