Through the Cavern

"You must try some of my purple berries...I've been eating them for six or seven weeks now..." Jefferson Airplane was blasting out of Ricky's phone, while the six partygoers sat around in a daze.

"So...I gotta ask you somethin', Derpy." Rainbow asked, the three-paper joint hanging loosely from her hoof.

"Hwha?" Derpy asked, her eyes slowly shifting around like a lava lamp. Ricky stared, captivated.

"So...in all of your years as a postmare...what is the one thing you didn't ever expect to see?"

Derpy was confused "What, you mean like a strange envelope, or something like that?"

"No, Derpy!" Lyra was laying on her stomach, hogging the nachos "She means like, who subscribes to weird stuff?"

"Oh!" Derpy laughed "Well, Big Macintosh has Playcolt and Big Flanks delivered every month."

"Ewww!" Rarity shook her head "And to think I thought he was a respectable stallion..."

"What else you got, Derp?" Ricky asked.

"Well, our oh-so-serious mayor subscribes to Equestrian Lampoon. It's normally read by pony weed smo..." Derpy seemed to piece something together "Woah...you don't think...?"

Everyone laughed at this, then Bon-Bon turned to Rainbow Dash "How about you, Rainbow? Do you have a secret vice you don't like to share?"

"Me? Well, I don't really like to go for that sort of..." Rainbow began, but Rarity interrupted her.

"Oh, please, Rainbow Dash, what about that time that you BEGGED me to allow you to accompany me to that New Colts on the Block reunion concert two months ago?"

"HEY!!! You said you would never speak of that!!!" Rainbow squealed, turning crimson. Lyra began laughing her ass off.

"Wow, Dash, I knew you were a closeted girly girl, but a colt band concert?" she gasped for breath "What, did you miss getting all googly eyed over Donnie Stallberg?"

"SHUT UP!!! Rarity, I can't believe you." Rainbow Dash pouted.

"Hey, so what if she likes certain music? You should hear some of the stuff I listen to." Ricky said.

Rainbow ignored what he said "Oh? Well what about the time I saw you going into the adult dance club, hmm?"

Rarity turned at least three shades of red "Wha...that was for my cousin's wedding! We were having her bachelorette party there, is all!"

"Please. I saw how many singles you had on you. You came prepared, and you know it!" Rainbow laughed.

"Ooohhh...." Rarity fumed, then sharply turned to Derpy "And what about you and the Doctor, dear?"

Derpy dropped the joint in her shock, Ricky grabbing it before it could burn a hole in the rug "Wh-what, me? We're just friends, is all!"

"Sure, 'friends'." Lyra smirked "I saw you two getting chummy at the costume shop last week."

"So Nightmare Night's coming! We're doing a buddy costume, is all!" Derpy was trying to shrink into herself. Ricky saw this, and quickly interfered "Nightmare Night? What's that?"

"It's a huge party where we all wear costumes, and the colts and fillies go from door to door and collect candy!" Bon-Bon said excitedly "There's a haunted house, games, a huge dance..."

"So it's Halloween, then?" Ricky said, surprised "Cool. I guess I could go as a ghost or something."

"Out of the question, darling!" Rarity said "I will NOT have you go to a fun party wearing a bed sheet. I insist that you come by the boutique and we'll fit you out for a proper costume."

"Really? Wow, that would be great." Ricky took a toke and passed it to Lyra, who was really starting to go hard on the nachos.

"But of course. And YOU, Rainbow Dash, must try to get a date this year. I mean, even Fluttershy is going with somepony." Rarity sipped her cider while Rainbow groaned and shook her head.

"Oh, please, you know I don't care about all of that lovey dovey stuff. I'm far too busy being awesome."

Lyra whispered something to Bon-Bon, who gasped and said "That's a great idea!"

"What is?" Ricky asked, not liking where this was going.

"Well...seeing as Rainbow isn't too big on dating, and you weren't exactly thrilled at the idea of kissing a pony, we think you and Dash should go with each other! I mean, it works on so many levels!"

"What?! No way!" Rainbow said "Besides, it would look too creepy!"

"Actually, it makes a lot of sense." Derpy said out of the blue "The two of you wouldn't feel awkward romantically, for one, plus it'll get everypony off of Rainbow's back about the dating thing."

Everypony stared at her "That...is the most profound thing I've ever heard you say, Derpy." Lyra said with amazement "You should smoke this stuff more often..."

"Well...if Ricky doesn't have a problem with it, it would be nice to not be bothered about having a special somepony for once." Rainbow said thoughtfully "What do you say? You want to be my pretend date for the party?"

"I guess there's no real harm in this. I'm more doing a friend a favor, if anything." Ricky shrugged "And hey, I'm getting a free costume out of the deal. I'll do it."

"OOOOOH!!!" Lyra, Rarity and Bon-Bon said in unison. Rainbow rolled her eyes and went to get a cider. Ricky sighed and pulled out a smoke "Okay, you guys, get it out of your systems already."

"I'm sorry, Ricky, but this really is a once in a lifetime opportunity. It's not often that Rainbow Dash willingly agrees to go on a date, even if it is a fake one." Rarity said. Ricky nodded "Yeah, I picked that vibe up. I just want to state right here and now that I don't want to do any kind of buddy costume. I really don't go for that sort of thing. However, I do know what I would like to go as."

"Well, don't bother telling me what it is tonight, darling. There is no possible way that I'll remember." Rarity was just about ready to pass out at this point.

"Oh boy, Rarity's going down again." Rainbow groaned "Derpy, you wanna give me a hand here?"

"Yep. C'mon, Rarity, bedtime!" The gray Pegasus took Rarity's left hoof and the two ponies half flew, half dragged her up the stairs.

"I should probably get going myself. It's getting kind of late." Ricky got up and stretched "Well, I had an awesome time here tonight, you guys. Don't get too hammered, alright?"

"We'll pace ourselves." Bon-Bon giggled "You have a good night, alright?"

"Will do. Later, guys!" Ricky hollered up the stairs, getting only snores in reply. The others must have passed out with Rarity.

Opening the door, he turned to wave at Lyra and Bon-Bon, and the two mares once again bade him goodnight. Stepping out into the cool night air, he heard Bon-Bon say "Not much of a kisser, but he's good company to have around."

Smirking to himself, Ricky lit a smoke and began walking back to Bulk Biceps' place.