Through the Cavern

Ricky yawned and made his way downstairs. The aroma of coffee wafted into his nostrils, and he perked up a bit. Sweeping his hair back, he tied it off and entered the kitchen.

"Hey, there he is!" Bulk Biceps was standing at the toaster, a mountain of waffles beside him "Mugs are in the cupboard above the coffeemaker."

"Awesome." Ricky opened the door and selected a mug which read "Shut Up And Pour!!!" Smirking, he poured himself a cup.

"So, where'd you get to last night? I didn't hear you get in." Bulk carried the waffle platter over to the table.

"Oh, well after I finished comic shopping with Spike, I ran into Rainbow Dash, who ended up taking me to a girls night at Rarity's." Ricky took a big gulp, ignoring his burned tongue. Fumbling for his smokes, he walked over to the front door.

"Girls' night, eh? I hear they get pretty tanked and pretty personal, if you get my drift. Know what I mean, brah?" Bulk grinned, Ricky wanting to gag at his words.

"Actually, it was no different than a kid's slumber party. Sure there was booze, but we mostly just hung around and shot the shit." Ricky stepped onto the porch and lit up.

"Huh. I guess I've heard wrong." Bulk mused, joining Ricky in the morning sun. They sipped and nodded at the passerby, then something seemed to click in Bulk's head "Oh! That's right, Applejack was looking for you."

"Really? What did she want?" Ricky looked over, interested.

"Not sure. She just asked if you could meet her over at Sugarcube Corner round noon."

"That's it? Ok, might as well go see what's up." Ricky glanced at his watch, which read 10:45.

"Okay, looks like I've got some time to kill. You don't have a shower here, do you?"

Bulk nodded "Yep, the bathroom's just down the hall from your room. Need help figuring it out?"

"Nah, I like a good challenge. Alright, I'll be back in a few, then."

***

The shower was surprisingly similar to that of a human's. Apart from it being a bit smaller than what he was used to, Ricky found that he had had no trouble using it. After he toweled off, he sighed at the thought of putting the same clothes he had been wearing back on. He decided that he was going to have to talk to Rarity about making him a new set.

Bulk was gone by the time Ricky came down for breakfast, but there were plenty of waffles left, and a fresh pot of coffee sat waiting. There was a note beside his plate that read "Gone to work. Don't forget to lock the door on your way out. I'll grab some grub on my way home. Biceps". Shrugging, Ricky loaded up his plate and began to flip through the newspaper. After a few minutes of eating and being confused by the comics page, he decided to head out and meet Applejack. He placed the leftover waffles in the fridge and washed up his dishes. Taking a final gulp of coffee, he rinsed his mug and headed outside.

As the door closed behind him, Ricky took in his surroundings. There were one or two ponies walking about, but there were none that he recognized. Shrugging, he stuck his hands in his pockets and walked over to the bakery. On his way, he noticed several interesting looking shops, one of them being a tobacconist, of all things.

"Huh...Smoke Ring's Cigars and Things. Go figure." he said to himself, and made note of the hours of operation. With those in his mind, he continued his short journey.

There was nobody around Sugarcube Corner, which sort of relieved Ricky. All he wanted to do was meet up with Applejack and find out what she wanted to see him about. He was a few minutes early, so he pulled out a smoke and decided to relax for a couple. He lit up and sighed, enjoying the peace and-

"HIYA!!!!" Pinkie's face appeared inches away from Ricky's, and he yelped in fright.

"Whatcha doin', Ricky?" The party pony bounced over to the bench and plopped herself down.

"Trying to get a year of my life back..." he muttered, his heart pounding "Not to sound like a dick, but you really need to work on that, you know?"

"Work on what?" Pinkie was confused. Ricky shook his head "The startling people thing. If you're not careful, you might get someone with a heart condition and seriously hurt them. I don't mean to be that guy, but...hey, what's up with your mane?"

Pinkie's mane and tail had lost their volume and now hung limp. and she had somehow turned a grayish hue. She hopped to the ground, her lip wobbling uncontrollably.

"Hey, wait, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-" Ricky began, but Pinkie interrupted him.

"No, I get it...I just like to make ponies happy, you see, and a surprise greeting can be so much fun...but, I never wanted to hurt anypony..."

"Oh, fuck..." Ricky glanced around in desperation, and saw Applejack coming up the road, her sister in tow. He tried to subtly wave at her, but the two farm ponies seemed to be bickering about something.

"Look, Pinkie, I didn't mean to trash you, I just...please go back to normal?" He pleaded, but to no avail. Applejack and Apple Bloom moved closer, but Applejack still didn't see them.

"Pinkie, I just...oh, screw it. HEY!!!" Ricky yelled, and Applejack finally noticed him.

"Oh! Howdy, sugarcube! I...oh, horseapples!!" she gasped when she saw the state that Pinkie was in "Dang it, Ricky! What in Equestria did you say to her?"

"I just...asked her not to surprised people so much because of the...possible health concerns?" Ricky asked innocently, to which the orange mare facehoofed in annoyance.

"Oh, for the love of...ok, because you're new here, I'm gonna give you a pass on this one. But from now on, PLEASE don't let on to Pinkie Pie that there's a possibility she could cause harm." Applejack said "She...obviously doesn't take it well."

"Well, that's a no-brainer!! What am I supposed to do?" Ricky asked, and Applejack sighed "All you gotta do is apologize and explain to her what you really meant."

"Ok...Pinkie, listen here." Pinkie stopped sobbing long enough to look at Ricky "W-what?!" she sniffed.

"What I meant was, if you surprised people all the time, then all the fun is taken out of surprise parties!" Ricky blurted, glancing at the Apple sisters for approval. Applejack nodded, while Apple Bloom gave him a 'go on' movement with her hoof.

"You see...people love your surprise parties, am I right?" Ricky crossed his fingers, Pinkie shrugging at his words.

"I guess they do, huh?"

"Exactly!" He breathed a quiet sigh of relief "So, if you just randomly jump out at people every day, they'll be expecting it, and then there's no point behind your parties in the first place!"

"Well...I guess you're right." PInkie's mane twitched slightly, and Applejack gave Ricky a hoofs-up.

"I mean, it's okay to surprise me if say, I'm working, or if you see me shopping at the same place as you are, but not every time you see me. You dig?" Ricky smiled at Pinkie, whose mane poofed back up after a moment's thought.

"Got it! The last thing I want to do is eliminate my entire purpose here in Ponyville, because a town without parties is nothing but complete and utter chaos!!" Her eye twitched microscopically.

"Um...I thought you worked here at Sugarcube Corner?" Ricky asked, confused. Pinkie gasped at his words.

"Oh my gosh, you're right! I'm supposed to start mixing the cupcake batter for tomorrow!"

"Really? Mixing batter a day in advance? How many cupcakes are you planning to make here, 100?" Ricky pulled out a smoke.

"More like 750." Pinkie said happily, bouncing to the door. Ricky dropped his lighter in his confusion "Wait, seriously? 750? How many ponies were you planning on serving?'

"Oh, I'm allowed to eat the wares while I'm working. Mrs. Cake just told me that if I'm going to do that, then I need to start making extra. Anyhoo, I gotta get started! Byyyeeee!!!" Pinkie bounced inside the Bakery happily, Ricky staring at her in wonder.

"Wow...I have got to talk to Twilight about her." he shook his head "I am SO sorry about that, AJ. I didn't mean to get you involved in this."

"Don't you worry about it. Pinkie...well, she's kind of undiagnosed, but...there's definitely SOMETHING going on there." Applejack shrugged "Anyhow, I was hoping to ask a favor of you for this afternoon...I mean, I'll pay ya, no problem, Rarity too."

"Really? Sweet! What, do you guys need some extra manpower or something?"

"Not in the way you're thinking..." Applejack glanced down at her sister, who gave Ricky a big smile. Slowly, he began to piece it together,

"Are you asking me to take the girls for the afternoon? Why?" Ricky was confused "I mean, I'm not saying no, but I'm just a little surprised you didn't ask Twilight, or maybe your brother instead."

"Well, Twilight's supervising the Nightmare Night set-up ceremony for next week, you see, and Big Mac's taken Granny Smith to her check-up." Applejack said apologetically "And Rarity's not feeling very well this morning."

"Gee, I wonder why?" Ricky asked himself, thinking about the unicorn's binge-drinking from the night before "And I'm guessing you and the others are helping with the decorating?"

"Yup. Anyhow, the girls asked us if you could do it. They really took a shine to you, I gotta say."

"Come on, Ricky! You can come check out our clubhouse, and go crusading with us, and-" Apple Bloom began, but her sister interrupted her.

"Oh, no, NO crusading today, missy! I don't want to put that kind of burden on Ricky, here! Do you think he feels like sitting in a hospital waiting room because you-"

"OKAY!!! I get it, already! But will ya. Ricky? PLEEEEEAAASE?" Apple Bloom begged, and Ricky finally caved "Oh, fine. I don't have to start work till tomorrow, so what the hell!"

"YEAH!!!!!" Apple Bloom cheered and hopped around "C'mon, Ricky! Let's go get Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo!" She began pushing him from behind to make him go faster.

"Again, thank you SO much, hon. I promise it'll be worth your while." Applejack said with a huge air of relief, and turned to her sister "You be good for Ricky, do you hear me?"

"We'll be fine. Ricky, come ON!!!!" Apple Bloom ran around, grabbed the front of his shirt and began trying to pull him along. Applejack shook her head and started heading towards Twilight's castle.

"Well, we'd better motor. This is the only shirt I have here, don't forget." Ricky was trying not to laugh.

"Are you kidding? Rarity'll make you all kinds of new clothes!" Apple Bloom said, running on ahead. Ricky watched as she ran up to Carousel Boutique and started pounding on the door. He rolled his eyes and ran to catch up, dreading the outcome if Rarity was the one to answer the door first...