Through the Cavern

"Hey, it's the human!"

As soon as Ricky entered the bar, he was instantly set upon by a large welcoming committee "Whoa...easy, folks..." he stammered, and the group of ponies backed up.

"YO! OVER HERE!!!" Bulk Biceps was sitting at a table in the corner, a glass of cider in front of him. Gratefully, Ricky made his way over.

"ONE CIDER FOR MY ROOMIE HERE!!" Bulk roared as Ricky sat down. The bar was full of ponies drinking, playing darts. There was even a karaoke stage. Barmares made their way around, taking orders and bringing them. Ricky could see Cheerilee sitting with Pinkie Pie. Not in the mood for an ambush, Ricky held a menu in front of his face.

"Wow, I had no idea that ponies had human-style bars." Ricky mused. Bulk seemed fascinated by this "No way, really? So, you like, shoot pool and pick up chicks and whatnot?" A couple of mares walked by and glared at his remark, but then one of them gave Ricky a surprise wink. Bulk whistled.

"Whoa-ho, looks like Lyra's checking you out, brother!" he laughed, making Ricky blush "Dude, come on. She's a unicorn, I'm a human. Think of how disgusting that would be."

"Whatever man. I think she's a looker, myself. YO! WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT CIDER?!" Bulk roared.

A purple earth pony with a raspberry colored mane came up to the table "As always, you don't have to shout, Biceps! I can hear you just fine." She rolled her eyes and gave Ricky a sweet smile "Welcome to the Rusty Horseshoe, what can I get for you?"

"Well...I guess the cider's supposed to be delicious, so I'll take one of those." The waitress pony nodded and headed off to the bar. Bulk Biceps whistled as she walked away "Man, that Berry Punch. She is a fine mare, I have to say."

"I couldn't say. Besides, I thought you had a thing for Fluttershy." Ricky leaned back in his seat to avoid Bulk Biceps' spit take.

"W-what? Whatever gave you that idea, bro?" The buff Pegasus stammered in reply. Ricky rolled his eyes "Oh, please. I might be a pothead, but I'm no idiot. I recognize crushing when I see it."

"Well...ok, so I might think she's cute, but who doesn't?" Bulk tried desperately to plead his case, but Ricky wasn't buying it for a second.

"Oh, come on. You're not fooling me at all. I can tell when a guy has a thing for a chick."

Bulk Biceps sighed "Ok already. You see....she came into the spa one day, and she....she was just so nice to me, no matter how clumsy I was. Then we ended up representing Ponyville together in a big relay, and...I dunno, man, what do you think I should do?"

"Dude, just ask her out. Simple. Oh, thank you." Berry Punch set his drink down. Ricky took a sip, widened his eyes and then took a huge gulp.

"God damn, that is delicious as hell!"

Berry Punch giggled "It ought to be. The Apple family's been making the finest cider this side of Equestria for years."

"Applejack, eh? I'll have to try and score a barrel of this stuff. What do I owe you?" Ricky then realized he was tapped out.

"It's on the house, hon. I'll bring a pitcher on over." She headed on back to the bar. A moment later, Cheerilee got up on the karaoke stage.

"Oh, great. Here we go again." Bulk Biceps groaned "Every week, a new karaoke contest, and every week a bunch of drunken idiots who can't sing."

"Huh. Sounds like the bars at ho- wait, so this cider's alcoholic?" Ricky was surprised at that.

"Course. Why else would they serve it in a bar?"

"Huh. Goes down smooth." Ricky turned his attention back to the stage. Cheerilee tapped the mike with her hoof, and got some bad feedbag, a chorus of groans and boos arising.

"Oh, shut up. It always happens! Ok everypony, are you ready to sing?" The schoolteacher sounded a tad tipsy.

"No!" A voice rang out in the crowd, and got some laughs. Cheerilee glared in their direction.

"I know that was you, Letrotski! Well, I guess we're gonna be kicking it off with our reigning champion, Pinkie P-" Pinkie was already onstage before Cheerilee could finish.

"Oh my gosh, I just LOVE being the karaoke champion!" The pink party pony squealed "But then again, it was kind of inevitable that I would become the champion, seeing as I'm usually the only one who actually sings at this competition!"

"Cause it's lame, man!" the voice rang out again. Cheerilee groaned and took the mike back from Pinkie.

"No, it is NOT 'lame'. Just not very...exciting, really." She scanned the crowd, desperate to find someone, and happened to see Ricky. Her face lit up with relief.

"What's that, Ricky? You said you wanted to sing?"

Ricky desperately shook his head no, knowing that even if he wanted to, he didn't know any pony music. He pulled out his phone and pretended to text. His phone....that gave him an idea.

"You know what, I happen to have some human music here in my pocket. What do you think, do you guys want to hear something different for once?" Ricky stood up, and all the ponies cheered.

"All I need is a large empty container to amplify the music."

"You're in luck. Keg's empty!" Berry Punch rolled the empty barrel out from behind the bar, and Ricky ran over to take it from her.

"Perfect. Anyone wanna give me a hand with this thing?" Two stallions came to his aide. After a moment of awkward direction, the barrel was on stage.

Ricky rifled through his playlist, and then he found the perfect song. He took the mike from Cheerilee, placed his phone inside the barrel and then hit play.

Heavy drumbeats began to pulse forth, followed by a wailing guitar intro. The ponies in the bar were stunned at this, as if they had never heard music before. Pinkie was staring intently at him, waiting for him to begin. After he gave a mental count, he took a deep breath and sang hard.

"Slooooow ride....Take it easyyyyy. Sloooooow ride.....Take it easyyyyyy....." His voice wasn't perfect, but it had the rasp required to make the song sound decent at least. Pinkie stepped back, impressed.

"I'm in the moooood......the rhythm is riiiiight....grooooove to the music.....we can roll all night......" Ponies began to bob their heads to the music, some of them even up and dancing.

Wow, Ricky thought to himself. This cider is really helping my stage fright!

"YEAH!!!!!!!!" Bulk Biceps roared.

"Sloooow ride.....Easy.......Slow ride.....Sleazy.....!" The song wasn't a long one, but when he had finished, Ricky was stunned at the positive response.

"Um...." Pinkie was confused "Should I still sing?" Cheerilee just glared at her and shook her head. Pinkie bounced off happily, whistling "Slow Ride" as she went.

"Ladies and gentlecolts, I think we finally have a new champion...Ricky!!!" Cheerilee crowed happily, sloshing cider everywhere.

"Thanks! Wow...I didn't think I could actually pull this off!" Ricky was stunned at everypony chanting his name "Just...I have no idea what to say...I-"

Then, a lone voice was heard over the crowd:

"My, so the legends ARE true! Humans ARE fun!"

The entire bar fell silent at this. Ricky stared as a tall, white Alicorn with a long, flowing, multi-hued mane entered the room, flanked by stallions dressed as gladiators.

"Y-y-y-y-y-your highness!" Cheerilee stuttered.

Oh, okay, Ricky thought to himself.

WAIT, WHAT?! YOUR HIGHNESS?!