Through the Cavern

"You there, human!" One of the guard stallions, a large, white unicorn, came up to Ricky "Under requirement of Equestrian law, you are to bow, curtsy or perform some other form of acknowledgement when her Royal Highness Princess Celestia...!" But the princess interrupted him.

"Enough, Shining Armor. He's new here, so he clearly does not know." Princess Celestia frowned at the guard, and he stepped back, .
embarrassed. Celestia smiled at Ricky "I apologize for his behavior. He's a bit of a dork." The guard blushed, and Celestia smirked "I received Twilight's letter yesterday. It is...Ricky, correct?"

"Yes. Um...I'm sorry, but I've never even met a royal human before. I'm REALLY kind of afraid to move or speak, your highness." Ricky stood straight as a pole. Celestia giggled at this.

"As much as I love making ponies feel uncomfortable, I'll cut you a break this time." Celestia used her magic to pull out a chair at Ricky's table and sat down "Please, Ricky, have a seat."

Ricky sat down, but couldn't face the princess. He glanced over at Bulk Biceps, hoping for some kind of backup on this one, but the buff Pegasus had gone up to the bar.

"Please, don't be so nervous. I'm not THAT kind of a princess. I mean, I AM a princess, of course, but I'm much more relaxed than say, my sister is." Celestia shook her head "A lovely girl, but she really needs to loosen up once in a while."

"I've got a teacher back home who is the exact same way. He's kind of a dick. Look, I'm sorry to ask, but is it alright if I smoke in your presence? I'm REALLY nervous right now." Ricky drummed his fingers on the table. Celestia was surprised "Whatever made you think you needed my permission? Please, do whatever makes you feel better."

"Thanks." Ricky lit up gratefully.

"It is quite alright. Now, I understand that you were first encountered by Miss Cheerilee and her class in the Everfree Caves, is that correct?" Celestia asked. Ricky tried his hardest not to groan. He was a tad sick of relaying his story over and over again "Yes, that's right." he said.

"I see. And according to Twilight, you were with a tour group of fellow humans, when you snuck off down a side tunnel to get a little peace." Celestia shook her head and sighed. Ricky was confused at this "Is there something wrong?"

"You see...those tunnels are sort of...teleportation devices. Are you familiar with the concept?" Celestia asked.

"Somewhat. Our government has been trying to perfect it for decades. Why, how does this all tie in?"

"Well, years ago, one of our teleportation tunnels connected with the human world. At first, we were amazed at what you humans had accomplished, and how your societies functioned. However, we also were subjected to the negative aspects as well. War, for instance. Political scandals." Celestia sighed, and Ricky poured her a glass of cider. Thanking him, she took a sip and continued "I had ordered all of the tunnels to henceforth be sealed, lest we behold what horrors the other worlds would have to offer. However, somehow, a simple human was able to break through powerful Alicorn magic." She gave Ricky a very impressed look.

"Actually...I think anyone would have been able to, seeing as magic is non existent in my world. To us, it would still be a tunnel." Ricky offered. Celestia stared at him, surprised.

"That...makes perfect sense. Why did I not SEE this before?" she mused, clearly amazed at what Ricky had pointed out. She then realized that he was still sitting there, and then quickly composed herself "But, please, accept our deepest apologies. I will do everything in my power to help you to return home."

"Yeah...about that. I'm staying here." Celestia once again stared at him in surprise, but she was secretly pleased.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" the Princess asked, sipping her drink "I mean, you would be entering a whole new way of life. Things are going to be very, very different from what you are used to. You would be leaving your life behind. Is that acceptable for you?"

"Yep. My old life back home was far below acceptable. Here, I've already gotten a job, and Bulk Biceps just offered me his spare bedroom." Ricky said "I can already tell that I'm right where I belong."

"Wonderful! Where will you be employed?" Celestia seemed very impressed.

"At the music shop with Vinyl Scratch. Twilight recommended me for..." Ricky's voice trailed off "Oh, shit! I forgot about Twilight!"

"What did you forget about her?" Celestia was very amused by Ricky's outbursts.

"I left her back at the music store...it's been a while now." Ricky seemed very embarrassed at this. Celestia just laughed "Oh, please, that pony will be just fine. In fact, I believe I see her outside, do I not?"

"Huh? Really?" Ricky glanced out the window. Sure enough Twilight and Vinyl were outside, looking around.

"Yes. You'd think they would notice my royal carriage...parked RIGHT out front." Celestia rolled her eyes. Outside, Twilight noticed the carriage, seemed to squeal with glee and ran to the bar, Vinyl close behind.

"Princess!" Twilight burst in happily. A moment later, Vinyl appeared, huffing and puffing.

"Ah, Twilight. Come, join us!" Celestia pulled out another seat. Twilight went came and sat down, while Vinyl headed to the bar.

"I see you've already met Ricky, then. Wonderful, isn't he?" Twilight gushed, making Ricky feel awkward again. Celestia thought this was a tad odd herself "Well, he's nothing special...no offense, Ricky...however, I can tell he is the friendly type of person who will fit right in with Ponyville!"

"Agreed. I really don't want to be treated any differently. Can we make that happen?" Ricky asked, and Celestia nodded.

"But of course. If you are a friend of Twilight Sparkle's, then you are a friend of mine. And NOPONY messes with a member of the royal family. Now, I would like to offer you a very special welcoming gift." Celestia used her magic to make two golden tickets appear.

Twilight gasped "Are those...Grand Galloping Gala tickets?" She turned to Ricky excitedly "You are soooo lucky! I mean, it's only the largest, fanciest ball in all of Equestria. Oh, I wish I was able to go..."

"Twilight...you are a princess now. YOUR presence is mandatory." Celestia sighed "However, so as to avoid the disaster of LAST time...I offer tickets to each of your friends. And Spike, of course."

"Oh, Princess, thank you! I'll-"

Suddenly, a large crash came from over by the bar. Bulk Biceps was trying to stand up, but he was obviously too wasted. Ricky groaned "Well, seeing as I'm going to be living with him, I better be the one to drag him home." He pocketed the tickets and bowed to the Princesses "Again, you have my full gratitude. If you ever need anything from me, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Again, it was a pleasure to meet you, Ricky. I do hope your friend makes it home in one piece..." Celestia gave Ricky a polite nod.

"Pleasure was all mine, Princess. Twilight, is it ok if I drop by the castle tomorrow? I wouldn't mind apologizing to Spike."

"Of course! I'm sure he'll greatly appreciate it." Twilight smiled at Ricky, who hoisted Bulk Biceps onto his shoulders, nearly blacking out from the weight. The two stallions from before came up and each took a leg on their backs. Giving the royalty a final nod, the makeshift cab service hauled Bulk Biceps out into the cold, night air.

"Wait...I don't even know where the hell we live!" Ricky huffed.

"Ohhhh.....'s over there...." Bulk waved his hoof in a figure eight, and one of the other stallions groaned.

"He lives next to Sugarcube Corner, it's about two blocks from here." The stallion said "If we jog, our backs won't be that sore."

"How ironic, with him being a masseuse and all." The other stallion said sarcastically.

The three of them hurried along, stopping once for Bulk Biceps to get the dry heaves, then finally they were outside a two story white house.

"Ugh...well, here you go, Man." The first stallion wiped sweat off his blonde goatee, and the second wiped off his sunglasses.

"Thanks...hey, I recognize your voice...You're that Letrotski, aren't you?" Ricky quietly cheered as Bulk got the door open on the first try.

"Oh yeah, like, sorry, man. Forgot the old manners and all. This here's Walter." He motioned to his heavyset friend, who gave a curt nod.

"Again, thanks a lot, guys. I'll see what I can do to make it up to you guys." Rick said gratefully. Letrotski chuckled.

"Well, whatever you have rolled up in your pocket smells find to me."

It took Ricky a second to understand, then it clicked "OH! You want to smoke...oh, ok then." These ponies were starting to surprise him more and more. As Ricky prepared to light up, the cry of an eagle rang out.

"Hey! An eagle. You don't hear those too often." Ricky noted. Letrotski sighed heavily and replied:

"I fucking HATE eagles, man."