The Road to the Lighthouse

Xx_Praise_the_Sun_xX joined your fireteam

Princess SpaceMagic joined your fireteam

Luna was delighted that she finally had teammates that she knew to go into Trials of Osiris with. Finally, the Princess of the Night didn't have to go through DestinyLFG for an exorbitant amount of time, just to find retarded teammates that say that they play better when they're high or drunk.

"Did you two buy the boons?" Luna asked.

"Nope, because I didn't want to play this horrible excuse for a game," Celestia was literally dragged to the couch to sit beside Luna.

"Sorry, I forgot," Twilight added.

"Good!" Luna boomed through her mic. "We don't need those extra wins anyway, we're not scrubs like everypony else."

The alicorn hit launch and the fireteam was sent to matchmaking. She inspected everypony in the game, even her own teammates.

"Twilight, why in the FUCK are you using an auto rifle?!" Luna's chances of going to the lighthouse dropped exponentially.

"Hey! I want to use this Hard Light from the Nightfall to see how it is."

Luna put her hoof to her forehead in frustration. "Don't you realize that all auto rifles are SHIT! SWITCH TO A HAND CANNON OR SOMETHING!"

"Okay fine, sheesh," Twilight opened her inventory and switched to her Last Word, which wasn't fully upgraded.

"SOMETHING THAT'S 365!"

The purple alicorn sighed in annoyance as she switched her primary weapon to her 365 attack Vex Mythoclast.

"That's better. Sis, why are you using Word of Crota?!"

"Because you're forcing me to do that Thorn bounty, just like you're forcing me to play this shitty game."

"This game is not shit!"

"You're right, I'm just insulting shit itself. It deserves so much better than being compared to this gambling machine simulator."

The dark blue alicorn sat silent, she didn't want to get into this argument again for the 45th time.

On the screen, the three ponies' ships descended onto the planet Mercury. The map for this week was The Burning Shrine.

"Yes, a map I like," Celestia cheered like a casual.

"Finally, a good map, none of that Thieves' Den and Black Shield shit," Luna hated the House of Wolves maps.

"Eliminate your opponents, and claim victory!"

With Lord Shaxx's opening statement, the Road to the Lighthouse begun.

"Can I get off now? I have to wake up early tomorrow to deal with political bullshit," Twilight laid back on her chair as she fought with her eyes for them to stay open. It had been two, grueling hours of Trials.

"NO!" Luna and her fireteam were now 8-0. "ONE! MORE! GAME!"

"I'm tired of facing Thorn, its too overpowered!" Twilight cried like a crybaby on the Bungie forums.

"I DON'T CARE! THOSE TEAMS WITH THORN WERE TRASH! EVERYPONY WHO USES THORN IS TRASH!" Luna ran with a 365 Lord High Fixer like a pro.

"Lets see, who are we facing?" The Princess of the Night inspected all of the ponies on the other team. "Huh, We're facing..... Holy Shit! A team without Thorn?! An actual honorable fuckin' team?! This is a free win guys!"

"This better be," Celestia would much rather be playing Dark Souls right now.

"Eliminate your opponents, and claim victory!"

"Alright, we spawned on sunside. Lets stay back, see what they do," The blue alicorn suggested like a pro.

Celestia threw a fusion grenade at a certain Titan with a pink shader. "Hey, I stuck one," Celestia said like a casual.

"Nice one sis. Two more to go."

"Guardian down!"

"Oh, guess who shoulder charges me!"

A W0nd3rb0lt [Shoulder Charge] Xx_LuNaR_EcLiPsE_xX

At that instant, Luna could hear a familiar voice cracking up through her mic, her teeth grated at the taunting laugh, she would have her revenge, she always got her revenge.

Twilight then shot the shoulder charging scrub with her Matador 64 shotgun.

"Yes, nice shit Twilight!" Luna threw her hands in the air like she didn't care.

Twilight then ran to Luna's blue orb and revived her, she ran at the middle passageway, searching for her prey. Luna leaned towards the TV, heavy in concentration, using her magic to chug her 34th can of Mountain Dew.

"You know, there's something called a trash can," Celestia looked upon the sea of cans on the floor.

"SHUT UP! I'M A PRO, YOU'RE NOT!"

"Elitist bitch," Celestia muttered under her breath.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Luna stared at her sister with the crazy eye.

"Oh look, the other team is going for a revive."

TH3 CAR3TAK3R revived A W0nd3rb0lt

"Yes, that shoulder charging noob isn't getting away from me!"

Luna threw an Axion Bolt at the two enemies, their heat seeking abilities were too much for the two Titans as their shields were gone. She turned the corner and blinked to avoid a grenade from Wonderbolt, the Voidwalker then killed the Titan with her Trials of Osiris shotgun, Astral Horizon.

"YOU EFFIN' SCRUB!" The Titan yelled in game chat.

"I thought ponies who do blink-shotgun are trash," Celestia snickered.

"Shut up! I'm the pro here and I use tactics necessary for victory," Luna responded like a boss.

"Riiiiiiight, *cough* scrub."

"I'm gonna go on your account and delete all your characters," The blue alicorn threatened as she heard that little comment.

"Good, I don't like this pyramid scheme for a game anyway."

"I'm gonna do it!"

"Fine, go ahead! Oh, you might want to watch your screen."

"Guardian down!"

A W0nd3rb0lt [Shoulder Charge] Xx_LuNaR_EcLiPsE_xX

Luna's face tightened, her panting could be heard by everypony in game chat.

"HOW?! YOU WERE ALREADY DEAD!" This moment of rage only made Wonderbolt laugh even harder.

"The pink one revived her while you were arguing with me ," Celestia pointed out like a casual.

"Look Wonderbolt, mark my words, I'm gonna find you, and I'm gonna kill you," Luna assured with a low, badass voice.

"Suuuuuure you are, you blink-shotgun scrub!"

"You're the scrub, not me," Luna stomped her hoof on the couch she sat on, littered with Mountain Dew. A few cans dropped to the floor from the impact. "I'm a former pro fighting game player!" The blue alicorn nearly sounded like a fat, lazy, disgraceful figure of gaming.

More laughter came from Luna's mic. "Hahahahahahahaha, oh wait you serious, let me laugh even harder. HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Xx_Praise_the_Sun_xX [Fusion Grenade] A W0nd3rb0lt

"WHAT?!" Wonderbolt yelled through her mic. "You can't just run around sticking people, this isn't Halo!"

Celestia didn't care because she was a casual, a badass casual who beat Dark Souls like a badass. "Yeah, but this game was made by the creators of Halo, soooooooo fuck you!"

A pair of pixelated sunglasses spawned above Celestia's head, wandered down and settled in between her eyes.

TH3 CAR3TAK3R walked inside a killzone and died, she wasn't pro enough to handle the pure badassery.

Now, there was the matter of a certain pink Titan to deal with.

"SURPRISE!" Was all that was heard in game chat.

-1 PARTY CRASHER [Lag] Princess SpaceMagic

"You.......you can't be serious. I shot you 45 times, all of them hit markers, then you just literally teleported across the map and killed me with confetti," Twilight had a very low tolerance for lag switchers and cheaters.

-1 PARTY CRASHER [Party Crasher +1] Xx_Praise_the_Sun_xX

"Ah, c'mon, another lag switcher?" Celestia said nonchalantly. This was about the 24th lag switcher she's faced today.

"Pfft, yeah, blame it on the lag, you're all just a bunch of noobs. Git gud, scrubs,"  -1 PARTY CRASHER said.

"Get good?" Twilight asked incredulously, "B-b-b...but you're a hacker."

"Nooooooooo, I'm not. You just suck!"

"THE KILL FEED LITERALLY SAID YOU KILLED ME WITH LAG!" Twilight exclaimed.

-1 PARTY CRASHER ignored Twilight's comment, her pink Striker Titan pointed towards Luna's.

"So its just you and me," Luna said in her badass voice.

"It seems so," -1 PARTY CRASHER played along. "Just to make this personal, I'm gonna tweak the scoreboard a bit."

A 0-0 game turned into a dire, tense, all or nothing 4-4 tie.

"You're so getting banned," Twilight opened the menu, clicked on -1 PARTY CRASHER and reported her, then went on to the Bungie forums to complain of lag switching.

Luna and the pink Titan stood before each other, acting like two cowboys in a standoff. Luna could've sworn tumbleweed flew across her screen.

Luna felt a sense of bravado. "Sis, give me the Mountain Dew!" Luna played the song Sandstorm by Darude while chugging yet another Mountain Dew, to her sister's dismay. "Oh, yeah that's my jam." The blue alicorn bobbed her head up and down to the rhythm and threw the empty can in her sister's face.

Luna aimed down the sights of her Lord High Fixer and began firing. Unlike, Twilight and Celestia's previous attempts, Luna dealt damage, like a pro. Only two shots and Party Crasher's shield was down. Luna was so close. The Princess of the Night needed only one more headshot for the kill, one more headshot to 9-0, to go the lighthouse for the first time!

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Your connection to Destiny servers has been lost. Please check your network configuration and try again. For information on resolving this issue, visit help.bungie.net and search for error code: olive

"What?!" Luna clutched her controller tightly, nearly breaking the buttons themselves. "NO! I WAS SO CLOSE! THIS CLOSE TO THE LIGHTHOUSE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I could tell you how that this game is terrible," Celestia mocked. "I could tell you that you could've gotten a better game without having to spend 400 dollars, I could tell you how your dumbass bought the season pass."