The Road to the Lighthouse

"Heavy ammo, inbound," Lord Shaxx said in his usual banal voice. Luna's team was behind 3-2.

"We better win this round," Luna exclaimed.

"Alright guys, I have my super, should we rush them?" a dragon-like voice asked.

"Who the fuck are you?!" Luna asked like a pro.

"Oh, Twilight said she was tired, so I'm playing for her. I'm Spike by the way and I know what I'm doing, I've gone 9-0 before."

"Good, you're not some DestinyLFG scrub," Luna's face lit up.

"Thanks," Spike is looking at looking at Twilight's character.

"Ew Twilight, your warlock looks just like a faggot."

"Well, I did try to make him look like you!" The purple alicorn heard that comment.

Silence ensues.

"You need an ice pack Spike?" Wonderbolt asked.

"It does look like you though!" Party Crasher inspected the warlock.

"Heavy ammo available!"

The three guardians went to the heavy ammo box on the sunlit part of the map, luckily, the enemy team was hesitant and didn't rush with their supers.

"So, is it true you're Princess Luna?" Wonderbolt asked. "Cuz you sound just like her."

"You wanna know the truth?" Luna had her guardian walk the left hallway leading to the back room.

"Yeah," Wonderbolt said, just waiting to impale her enemy in rockets.

"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

Xx_LuNaR_EcLiPsE_xX [Truth] A W0nd3rb0lt

"Ah, c'mon, I was literally behind a wall! See, I told you we should've charged, I had my super!" Wonderbolt was furious at that wasted opportunity.

"I-I'm sorry, I thought that...the other team would r-rush," Caretaker muttered in a low voice.

"Guardian Down!"

TH3 CAR3TAK3R [Felwinter's Lie] Xx_LuNaR_EcLiPsE_xX

"But, at least...I got your kill b-WHAT THE FUCK, YOU WOULD STICK ME! THIS BITCH THINKS THAT THIS IS FUCKING HALO!"

Xx_Praise_the_Sun_xX [Fusion Grenade] TH3 CAR3TAK3R

"That's what you get for one, being a blink-shotgun fag with Felwinters, and second for NOT PRAISING THE SUN!" Celestia was having fun now.

"Guardian Down!"

-1 PARTY CRASHER [The Party Cannon] Xx_Praise_the_Sun_xX

"Wait, that weapon isn't even in the game," Celestia was dumbfounded.

"It is now," Party Crasher exclaimed, now having her Titan...going bladedancer?

"Damn, Twilight was right she is a hacker," Spike fired his rocket launcher at Party Crasher, she was unaffected.

"Woah, woah, how didn't you die?!"

-1 PARTY CRASHER [Hacks] Princess Spacemagic

"I can't play five minutes of Trials without this happening," Spike covered his face with his hands.

"Don't worry, every team we've faced did the same thing," Celestia said, trying to be sympathetic.

"Yeah, and they all were scrubs," Luna took pride in wrecking those eight teams of twenty-four no lives.

"So its just you and me," Luna said in her badass voice.

"It seems so," Party Crasher played along. "Just to make this personal, I'm gonna tweak the scoreboard a bit."

A 3-2 game turned into a dire, tense, all or nothing 4-4 tie.

Luna and the pink Titan stood before each other, acting like two cowboys in a standoff. Luna could've sworn tumbleweed flew across her screen.

Luna felt a sense of bravado. "Sis, give me the Mountain Dew!" Luna played the song Sandstorm by Darude while chugging yet another Mountain Dew, to her sister's dismay. "Oh, yeah that's my jam." The blue alicorn bobbed her head up and down to the rhythm and threw the empty can in her sister's face.

Luna aimed down the sights of her Lord High Fixer and began firing. Unlike, Twilight and Celestia's previous attempts, Luna dealt damage, like a pro. Only two shots and Party Crasher's shield was down. Luna was so close. The Princess of the Night needed only one more headshot for the kill, one more headshot to 9-0, to go the lighthouse for the first time! Luna laid that final shot, except Party Crasher took no damage.

"What?! How aren't you taking damage?"

"Cuz I'm that good." Party Crasher teleported across the room in a zigzag motion. As she lagged and frustrated everypony in the game, the pink Titan could feel that somepony was behind her. Knowing that she couldn't take damage, she turned around to taunt the poor bastard.

"HEY!" The voice behind her said.

Party Crasher jumped from her chair at the yell.

The guardian behind her wore blue and white armor, and wielded some kind of hammer.

"Who are you?" Luna didn't remember anypony else joining the game.

"I'm that one good developer at Bungie who decided to get up his fatass to monitor this mosh pit," said the cryptic Titan. "As soon as I detected this dickhead lagging all over the place, she lit up like a fucking Christmas tree."

The guardian vigilante turned towards Party Crasher. "So, what do you have to say to yourself, huh? HUH?" For some reason, Luna's stereo switched from Darude Sandstorm to extremely dramatic music. "HOW LONG'D YOU THINK YOUR LITTLE CHEATING SPREE WAS GONNA LAST YOU LITTLE BITCH?!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, plz don't ban meh, plzzzzzz!" Party Crasher pleaded like a little bitch.

"Wait, weren't banhammers in Halo 3?" Spike asked.

"I'm bringin' it back," the Titan turned towards Party Crasher again. "I'm gonna have a field day bannin' the millions of douche bags like you! Just like the good ol' days."

The rustling noise of a mic being taken away could be heard through game chat.

"Wait," said a much flatter and dry voice. An icon on the bottom right said that Party Crasher was still talking. "Me and my sister share the same account, if you banned her, you'd ban me too. I didn't know that my sister cheated, today was the first day she did this. Is there anyway you could ban only her and I'll make sure she never does this again?"

The dramatic music playing from Luna's stereo picked up in volume and could be heard in game chat. The banhammer Titan turned looked at Party Crasher, thinking whether he should swing. Sure, justice would be done from killing the Titan, however he'd be banning an innocent pony. He then remembered all of the posts on the Bungie forums of ponies crying because they spent 1000 hours playing and not receiving their favorite weapon.

The Titan made his decision.

Pinkie Pie's head sank, she stared at her pet alligator Gummy, trying to comprehend what just happened.

"I.....I can't believe Bungie took my Gjallarhorn."

She and her sister Maud Pie sat by each other on the couch, Maud read a book, mostly to ignore the pink pony's complaining.

"I hate Bungie," Pinkie Pie slammed her hoof on the couch in spite.

"You're lucky you didn't get the both of us banned you fucking idiot," Maud responded, still immersed in her book. "You deserved it."

Silence ensues.

"Gummy, now I don't have Gjallarhorn and I still suck ass at Destiny," The usually upbeat pony stared at her beloved pet with sorrowful eyes.

"Let that be a lesson to you," Maud said.

Pinkie still sat quietly until an idea popped inside of her head. "There's only one thing to do," Pinkie Pie took a really deep breath, as if preparing to sing.

Maud knew what she was about to do. "No Pinkie, please don't, don't do it. NO!"

To the poor pony's dismay, Pinkie Pie sung the smile song.

"And because you were fireteam members with the accused cheater, this match will be forfeit and victory will go to the opposing team," The Titan vigilante addressed Wonderbolt and Caretaker.

"What?!" Wonderbolt objected. "But we weren't cheating!"

"But you took advantage, and that's just as bad as cheating."

A W0nd3rb0lt left the game

TH3 CAR3TAK3R left the game

Xx_Praise_the_Sun_xX completed Trials Passage

Xx_LuNaR_EcLiPsE_xX completed Trials Passage

Princess SpaceMagic completed Trials Passage

"Oh, congratulations, it seems like you've all made it to the Lighthouse," The Titan said.

"Yes! We did it! We fucking did it! I've couldn't have done it without you guys!" Luna yelled in pure euphoria as she shook her sister's body.

The Titan chuckled at the response. "It's nice to see a team that uses legitimate methods for once. I'm sorry you've all had to go through the cheaters, not just these assholes."

"Oh no, it's fine," Celestia was relieved to get this over with. "I'm just glad that we're finally done here."

"Now follow me," The Titan led the three guardians to the tower only reserved for champions of the crucible.

The Lighthouse had the same vex like architecture as any spire Mercury, except that it has been ornamented with objects, whose provenance is only known to the previous inhabitants. Luna found a grounded ship, who's design is as the ships that flew behind the spawning guardians of the Tower. Celestia took some time to stare and admire the solar flare before her. The white coated alicorn spent more time looking at the view than playing the actual game. Moments like these reminded her of the beautiful concept art of the potential world of Destiny. Every time she thought of that, she lamented the passion and creativity that died at the greedy hands of Activision.

"Wow," Celestia remarked. "More evidence of the scenery being better than the actual game."

"Can you not insult the game every five seconds?" Luna asked rationally for once.

"I can't help it, not when I played games like Dark Souls and Skyrim," Celestia still stared blankly at the giant pixelated sun.

"Time to get my loot," Luna was done with exploring, she wanted her rewards for hours of hard work and raging.

"Oh sweet, I got Twilight The Messenger," Spike went to the menu to see what element it was. "And it does Arc damage, the nightfall this week is Arc Burn. What'd you get Princess?"

"I got etheric light, motes of light, a shitty auto rifle, and passage coins," Luna was disappointed in her lackluster rewards.

"You didn't get the emblem?" said the purple dragon.

"What emblem?"

"The exotic emblem," Spike realized Luna's problem. "Oh, wait, is your emblem inventory full?"

"Doesn't it go to the post master?" Her emblem inventory was full.

"Nope."

Now Luna had no evidence that she went 9-0, and all she got was The Shitter, the appropriate name for The Summoner, and more stuff she doesn't need. "FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKK!"

"I'm not doing this ever again," Celestia put the final nail in the coffin.

And Luna lived miserably ever after. THE END!