Chapters I sat back on my sofa with a sigh; I'd just finished moving my belongings into my new house, a cottage located out in the North Lincolnshire countryside that I'd managed to pick up for a bargain. Now I was relaxing with a well-earned cider as I looked at the bare living room populated only by the sofa, myself, and a wall of cardboard boxes. Tomorrow I’d start unpacking, but first came sleep. I was stirred from my musings by the padding of paws and looked over to see my pet dog, Sam. He was a wolf-husky cross and the biggest softy you could ever meet…if a little protective at times. He plodded over and jumped up on the sofa before laying down and resting his head on my lap.
“Well” I thought aloud “At least I've got you to keep my company tomorrow” Sam offered no response over than his ears twitching to the sound of my voice as he began to nod off. That brought me onto my next train of thought, sleep, I didn't have a bed set up, that was currently still in pieces in its box upstairs. I grimaced, looked like I would be sleeping on the sofa tonight, something I was not looking forward to. With a resigned sigh, I downed my cider, got up and began looking for a box which had some form of bedding in it.
Once I'd found a small duvet and a pillow I accepted my fate for the night and walked back into the living room to see Sam had stolen my spot.
“Sam” I said sternly “down” he let out a grumble before jumping off the sofa. With that taken care of I placed the pillow and one end and lay down to sleep. As I was drifting off I noticed a flash through the curtains, but dismissed it as a car driving past as I slipped into slumber
*POV 3rd Person*
Twilight Sparkle was awoken by rapid knocking echoing through the castle. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat up in bed, still half-asleep. She was shaken into coherence by another volley of knocking and made her way to the front doors as fast as she could whilst still half asleep.
'It’s not like I could even wake spike up at this time in the morning ' she thought, glancing at a clock as she walked through the hallways of the castle, 6:30 'who wakes up a pony at this time in the morning!? ' she got to the front doors and opened them to find Derpy standing there, with her mailbags full of letters and a troubled expression on her face.
“Derpy?” she asked, rubbing the tiredness out of her eyes and letting out a yawn “what’s wrong?”
“So I was on my early morning mail run as I normally do” she began “when I noticed something that’s not normally there, or rather shouldn’t be there”
“What do you mean?” Twilight queried.
“A house has appeared on the edge of the Everfree forest, a really strange looking one, at that” she said “I know I have a sight problem, but I know when there’s something there that wasn't there yesterday” Twilight frowned.
“I'll check it out” she said “Thank you, Derpy, you can go back to your mail run.” Derpy smiled, nodded, and was just about to take off when she remembered something.
“Oh, I almost forgot!” she exclaimed, digging into one of her mailbags before producing a letter and handing it to the purple Alicorn princess “Special delivery” she then took off and flew towards her next destination.
Twilight placed the letter on a lamp table near to the door and quickly wrote a note to spike before teleporting it to Spikes room. She then Teleported her Saddle bags to her before nodding to herself determinedly and stepping outside. With barely a thought, she closed the doors behind her and set off for the Everfree forest. As she walked through Ponyville, it was largely empty, although the occasional pony waved to her; she even waved a greeting to Rainbow Dash, who was busy on early weather patrol, if Twilight remembered correctly, the weather was scheduled for clear skies. Eventually she reached the edge of the Everfree, where she had to shake her head to make sure what she was seeing was real.
It was a house for sure; that much was certain, but it was unlike any she had seen before. It was large, at least twice as wide as any house in Ponyville, and boxy. Instead of thatched roof, it had what looked like stone plates. The front was painted white, and on the corners and side, bare stones, like those on a stone wall, showed through. After standing there for a good five minutes taking in the details of the house she plucked up the courage to start making her way to what she assumed was the front door. After hesitating for a moment she knocked on the door and paused for a moment before calling out.
“Hello, is there anypony there?”
*POV 1st person*
I was shaken from my sleep by a knocking at the front door and put on my glasses before looking at my phone.
“6:45?” I asked aloud “What person knocks at a cottage in the middle of the countryside at 6:45 in the morning?” Sam didn't answer, he just grumbled went back to sleep. I hastily got dressed and just as I was about to go to the front door I heard a female voice.
“Hielen, est dan jemenay zere? ” it called out. I paused, I wasn't exactly a multilingual, but I'd never heard a language like that in my life, I cautiously opened the door and peered out. I froze, standing there was a purple miniature horse with wings and a horn. It also had a disturbingly human face, and that face had a shocked expression on it.
“The fuck!?” I exclaimed before promptly blacking out.
I awoke with a groan.
“Ugh, my head” I muttered “I must have bashed it when I…” my eyes shot open, my memory returning to me like a flash. I tried to get up, only to find fabric straps of some kind holding me down. I struggled against the bonds.
“Cho woold knochte baan tuyut ” a female voice said, I looked to the source of the voice to see a tall white horse with wings and a horn and flowing hair standing in the doorway.
“In English, please?” I asked, she looked at me, confused. “I don’t speak…whatever language it is you speak” she tilted her head in confusion before shaking her head slightly. Suddenly her horn lit up and I felt a presence in my mind.
‘Can you understand me now?’ I heard a voice, specifically the horse’s voice, in my head.
‘What the hell!?’ I exclaimed.
‘Calm down, it’s a simple temporary telepathy spell’
‘You’re in my mind?’ I mentally asked. She made a gesture similar to a shrug.
‘Yes and no, I can only hear your immediate thoughts, everything else in your mind is safe’ she explained ‘What is your name?’
‘Not sure what it is in your language’ I said ‘but in my language I’m called Luke’
‘I’m Princess Celestia, the leader of this country, I want to know why you’re here’ I sighed and let my head fall back onto the pillow.
“I don’t know” I responded aloud, hoping she could understand me ‘all I remember was going to sleep in my new home, then when I woke up Mrs Purple over there was at the front door’ as I said this I nodded to said purple horse, who ducked her head behind the door.
‘So you don’t know where you are or how you got here?’ I shot her a deadpan look
‘Do you think someone who intended to come here would faint when they first saw something like you standing in the doorway?’
‘Good point’ she responded. I gesturing to my straps
‘Are these really necessary?’ I asked.
‘We didn’t know what you would do’ she responded, undoing the straps ‘I’m sorry, but the safety of my ponies comes first’
‘Ponies?’ I asked, sitting up ‘is that what you call yourselves’ she nodded.
‘I’m a Human’ I said ‘now, would you be so generous as to let me get back to my home? It’s obvious neither of us know why I’m here, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to get to unpacking my things’
‘You’ve only just moved into your home?’ she asked, I nodded.
‘Last night, I’m literally living out of cardboard boxes right now’
‘Very well’ she said ‘I’ll need to arrange a linguist to teach you our language’
‘that can wait’ I responded, standing up ‘I’d rather keep myself busy, given the circumstances I’m not sure how long I’ll last before I have complete mental breakdown’
‘I’d say you’re taking this rather well’ she responded, I smiled slightly
‘my people have a saying’
‘And what’s that?’
‘keep calm and carry on’ I answered.
‘an admirable mantra’ she said ‘well then, if you wish to return to your home, then I won’t keep you. Twilight will teleport you back’
‘Twilight?’ I asked
‘the one you called miss purple’ she said, smirking
‘ah’ I said, I noticed the glow on her horn starting to dissipate “well then, as they say in my language, goodbye” by the time I’d finished my sentence the spell had seemingly worn off. Celestia nodded before calling to the purple pony, ‘Twilight’
“Daemrung, plase bagletung nashar gist, Luke, nazar deeme ” she said, Twilight nodded and her horn glowed before my vison was filled with light. I felt the briefest sensation of falling and when I opened my eyes, I found myself standing outside my house. I immediately noticed there was what appeared to be a bubble of some kind surrounding the house. I shot her a look and raised my eyebrow she merely shrugged. I walked to my front door and opened the door…only to be tackled by a mass of fur and a tongue to the face.
“Sam!” I ordered “heel, boy! Heel!” Sam jumped off me, his tail a blur due to the speed it was wagging. I heard giggling and looked to see Twilight laughing. I smiled before standing up and walking inside. Out of reflex I flipped the light switch, and was surprised to see the light switch on.
“The fuck…?” I muttered, I quickly dashed to the kitchen and turned the tap on. I gasped as water flowed out of the tap and down the plughole “It still works” I let out a half laugh, I heard what sounded like hoofsteps and turned to see Twilight looking around in amazement. Sam was following close behind her.
“Deeze est… ” she said, trailing off. I understood the context of what she was saying.
“yes” I said, smiling and nodding to affirm the meaning. She thought for a moment before speaking, trying to replicate the sound.
“Y…yis?” she asked, her accent was think, and almost sounded German with a few undertones I couldn’t place, I shook my head.
“Yes” I repeated slowly.
“Y…yes” she repeated, successful this time. Her face broke out into a grin, she then gestured to the house. “Deeze est deeme? ”
“Yes, this is home” I answered, looks like we were beginning to understand bits and pieces of each other’s languages. “Deeze est Deeme ”
“Dach! ” she replied, smiling. Suddenly she held up a hoof, almost as if to say “one minute” before disappearing with a ‘pop’. I raised an eyebrow before going into the living room to begin unpacking. Seeing as most of the boxes contained stuff like clothes and other possessions rather than parts of furniture I’d gotten most the boxes out of the living room and had begun setting up my stereo system when Twilight reappeared with a large pile of books. She went to say something but stopped when she saw the stereo system.
“Wailtche est cho? she asked, pointing to the stereo system.
“A stereo” I said, she simply tilted her head in confusion.
“S-stairio?” she asked, sounding out the word.
“No no, Stereo” I corrected “It plays music” I then whistled out a tune. Suddenly she began barraging me with questions in her own language, too fast for me to understand what she was saying. Eventually I’d had enough
“I can’t understand you!” I snapped. Causing her to stop mid-question. “just…wait” I held up my hand as I said this, hoping she’d get the message. After a moment, she nodded meekly, before sitting down and watching me work on the stereo system. A couple of times I noticed her open her mouth out of the corner of my eye, as if to ask something, only to stop each time before the words left her mouth. Eventually I’d finished setting it up and retrieved my laptop from the sofa (I’d placed it on there when I’d started moving things about), and started it up. Upon start up, I was surprised and shocked to see that it had full bars of Wi-Fi.
“This day is getting weirder and weirder” I muttered, what? Did you think I would complain about getting internet “well, at least I’ve got that going for me, which is nice” I carried the laptop over to the stereo system ad connected it up before going into the music player app, it wasn’t long before some of my favourite songs began playing out of the speakers. With the music playing at an acceptable level, I began to put up pictures on the wall. After some time I opened the final box and gasped.
“Oh, you beauty” I breathed, lifting the large frame out of the box. The painting depicted a streamlined steam locomotive painted in dark green, pulling a train of red coaches, on the line next to it another steam locomotive struggled to keep up with it. I smiled before mounting it on the wall “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that mounted on a wall”
“Est cho ane dempthlachkemotar? ” Twilight asked. The last word seemed very similar to the German word for steam locomotive
“A steam locomotive?” I asked, she levitated a book of some kind over, showing me a page. On the page was a picture of a twisted mockery of an American steam locomotive, from roughly the 1860s, I mentally cringed from how garish the colours were. ‘that solves the question of how advanced or crude this planet is’ I thought. I reluctantly nodded, then quickly pointed between the picture in the book, and the picture on the wall “yes, a steam locomotive. They are the same…sort of” Twilight nodded before sitting down and gesturing for me to do the same. I joined her and she levitated a different book over and began reading off words and showing me pictures associated with each word, before making me say each word, I quickly realised that she was teaching me using a children’s book, but I soon after came to the conclusion that had to start somewhere. During the process, we both discovered that we shared the same alphabet, something that greatly sped things up. Throughout the day I learnt the basics, ‘food’, ‘clouds’, ‘plants’, ‘Night’, ‘Day’, that sort of thing. We repeated this process until I could say a number of words, she even managed to teach me a couple of one or two word phrases like ‘hello’, ‘goodbye’ or ‘how are you?’. I even managed to teach her some of my language using a similar process, though she was a lot faster at learning, must be one of the differences between our species.
After a few hours we decided to stop for the day, she gave me what seemed to be an illustrated dictionary and I was just saying goodbye to her when a blue pony with wings kicked the door down and proceeded to tackle me to the ground. Whilst two other ponies ushered Twilight out of the house, despite her obvious protests
“Ha! Ick hab beck sien, sien moanstere! ” the blue pony said, pinning my head to the floor with a hoof
“Knoc! ” I exclaimed, my accent thick. Before I could continue, Sam shoved the pony off me and forced her out of the door with a shove to the stomach “Sam! Heel!” he didn’t respond, instead choosing to bare his teeth at the intruder, who seemed frozen with fear at the half-wolf. I quickly got up and yanked Sam away by the collar just as he was about to go for the pony.
“Bad dog!” I ordered, secretly I wanted to let him go for the pony for breaking down my door and pinning me, but my conscience would have never allowed it, plus I’m not sure that would put me in the princesses graces if I let my pet dog maul one of her ponies “Inside, NOW!” Sam whimpered before slinking inside the house. I turned to see the group of ponies, four in total staring at me with their mouths open to an almost comical level. I turned to the blue pony.
“What the bloody hell are you playing at!?” I asked, not caring that she couldn’t understand “Is that how you greet people here, by kicking down their front doors!?” I gestured to the door for emphasis.
“Ick…ick… ” she stuttered, rendered speechless, partly by shock and from the language barrier. At this moment, Twilight stepped in and began talking to the blue pony. I frankly did not care for what they were talking about and walked back inside. I plonked down on the sofa and let out a sigh of frustration; I was stuck on another world and I couldn’t even speak the local language, the last thing I needed was the ire of the locals directed at me. Sometime later, I heard Twilight walk in and say something in her language, I nodded merely to acknowledge her, not even turning to look at her. I heard a sigh and hoofsteps retreating away from me, followed by a sparkling noise and the door shutting behind her. After a moment of pondering I got up and walked into the hallway, only to find the door back on its frames and fully repaired. I’d have to thank Twilight when I’d learnt the words to do so properly. For now though, I needed to continue with getting my house ready. With a sigh I walked into one of the other rooms to start unpacking, today was going to be a long day.
It had been a week since Twilight was last over to teach me, but I hadn’t seen her since a certain incident. In her absence I’d found out few things, first of all, the days were longer than ours, I counted 15 hours of daylight, meaning a full rotation way closer to 30 hours. Second of all, I had internet, but it was weird, I couldn’t contact my family, but friends I could still get in contact with my friends. I was just in the kitchen cooking some pasta, which I’d managed to stock up on before my house was transported to this place, all the same, I was starting to run low. I heard a knock at the door, walking into the hallway I opened the door to find Twilight standing there with an almost panicked expression on her face.
“Wha…?” I went to ask, only for her to try to pull me outside “Hey, stop it!” She released my from…what even it was she was pulling me with, I held my hand up before running back into the kitchen and turning the heat off, I then called for Sam and grabbed my keys. Twilight eyed the dog wearily as he plodded outside. “Mind telling me what this is about?” I asked as best I could in what little Equestrian I had learnt in her absence.
“Something” she said, pointing into the forest that we were walking towards “in there, like yours”
“Like my home?” I asked, she shook her head.
“It has your [spriche]” she said.
“[Spriche]” I repeated “what does that mean?”
“Our way of speaking” she explained, I filed that word as “Language” until I knew more about their language. After walking for some time we came to a canyon of some kind. I paused when I noticed that the blue pony from before was there. Said pony turned and froze when she saw Sam and me. Sam growled softly as we walked past her, before stopping at the edge of the canyon and letting out a light gasp, sitting there, in the bottom of th canyon, was a massive container ship.
“Holy shit!” I swore in my own language, drawing the attention of the ponies.
“What did he say?” the blue pony asked Twilight, she simply shrugged in response.
“Like yours?” she asked, I gave a dumb nod in reply.
“It has…stuff, much different stuff, from my….area?” I said. “We need to…” I gestured down at the ship, Twilight nodded before her horn sparkled, next thing I knew I heard a pop and myself, Sam and Twilight were on the deck of the container ship, this thing was massive, even by my world’s standards, then again, I wasn’t familiar with container ships. I walked up to a container and tried to open it, but to no avail. I glanced to Twilight before giving her a pleading look. She rolled her eyes before lighting her horn, the lock broke, and the door opened to reveal…
“You are kidding me” I breathed, inside this particular container was someone’s brand new Pagani, one of the R models by he looks of it “Holy shit” I said, standing there in shock. I heard Twilight walking over.
“What is this?” she asked.
“Moving…thing?” I said, before giving a sigh of frustration when she gave me a deadpan look “I’ll tell when I can say more in your language. Crew? Find crew?” Twilight nodded. Understanding what I meant. If there were still humans alive, then that meant I wouldn’t be totally alone here, I’d at least have someone to talk to in my own language on a day to day basis. I showed Twilight to the general area of the bridge. I climbed up the stairs into the bridge and froze.
“Where’s the crew?” she asked from the bottom of the stair. I began to feel ill.
“All over the place” I said, I’ll spare you the details, let’s just say there was blood and parts everywhere. I dashed back down the stairs before emptying my stomach over the side of the ship. Something must have gotten in and massacred the crew, I’d heard the predators at night whilst trying to get to sleep. So I knew this wasn’t your run of the mill forest. I heard hoofstep going up the stairs, before the rapid scrabbling and subsequent dashing down the stairs to empty her stomach down the side. She said something I couldn’t understand, before pulling a scroll and quill out of thin air and writing something on it, she then sit fir to it, the flames seemed to get caught in the wind before being carried away.
“I could have gone my whole life without seeing that” I said in English, resting my back against the railing and sliding down until I was sitting on the floor. Twilight, despite being unable to understand me, nodded, understanding the sentiment. After sometime, I could hear wingbeats and looked to the sky to see the Princess flying toward us, flanked by pegasi clad in armour. The princess landed gracefully and looked around in wonder.
“What is this?” she asked.
“Boat” I replied sluggishly, before pointing up to the bridge “Crew, there”
“[Mertich]” Twilight said, looking rather pale. The princess raised an eyebrow before walking up the stairs, only to gasp when she reached the top. She hastily retreated before walking over to a rather high ranking guard and giving him orders. The guard nodded before going to pass on the orders to the rest of the guards, Celestia walked over to Twilight and pulled her into a hug with her wing. After a moment she pulled away and turned to me
“Will you be [alresch]?” she asked
“might, later” I said, standing up before pointing to my forehead and then pointing to hers. Her horn glowed and I felt a presence in my mind “thank you, I need to be able to explain the things you’ll see properly. I won’t lie to you, they’ll seem alien to you, my planet is at least 150 years ahead of yours, and that’s only judging my your railways”
“You make a valid point” Celestia said as we began walking “what is this place?”
“this is what we call a container ship” I responded “it’s what we use to transport new things to a given country, already I‘ve found an incredibly fast vehicle designed for racing”
“and what are we to do with all of this?” she asked.
“Use it” I replied as we came to the first container “use it to your requirements so as to advance your own species, but don’t go using it for war” Celestia opened the container to reveal stacks of cardboard boxes filling the container. Curiosity piqued I walked inside before pulling a box off the top of one of the smaller stacks and placing it in the floor. On the top of the box the words “Ship to Hornby Hobbies LTD Margate, Kent” were printed.
“What is it?” Celestia asked.
“Something I’d never have expected to turn up here” I responded, opening the lid I was greeted with a familiar cardboard packaging, on the side was a printed photograph of a large green steam locomotive “I definitely didn’t expect to see these here, tell me, what do you know of scale miniature as a hobby?”
“That there are groups for it,” she answered “why?” I held up the box “ah…”
“Let’s just say I now have an excessive surplus of model locomotives” I said “And I say that as someone who’s planning a model railway, of course I’ll be claiming some of everything like this, but what use do I have for 20 of the exact same model.” I put the packaging back in the box and placed said box back on the stack. We continued around going through each deck level container, explaining to Celestia what each thing was as best I could, there were an unbelievable variety of different items, too many for me to recall off the top of my head, what really stuck out was when we came to a large well in the hold.
“what are those!?” Celestia asked.
“No…fucking…way!” I managed to say “what the hell are two entire locomotive doing here?” In the hold were the latest Spanish built locomotives bound for the UK, a class 68 Diesel locomotive, they were still in the white pre-delivery paint job with the word “Vossloh” painted on the side.
“Those things are steam locomotives?” Celestia asked, I laughed.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said, walking down the steps “we got rid of steam well over 40 years ago, these are the latest diesel-electric locomotives. they might look fancy, but I still prefer steam to this thing, a steam loco will keep going, whereas with this loco as soon as there’s a problem it’ll probably die on you” I ran a hand along the side of the loco
“So what going to happen to this?” she asked.
“Stick them in a railway museum for all I care” I responded “I don’t think you even have diesel fuel here, so it’s useless anyway, sure it looks nice, but good looks aren’t much use if it doesn’t go, besides, I have other ideas to help your world out” Celestia looked at me and raised an eyebrow.
“Such as”
“Later” I said “first, we have to get all of this out, the ship will need transporting to a dry-dock. We also have to consider the…mess…in the bridge”
“I’m sorry about them” she started
Why?” I asked “I didn’t know them, besides, I’m used to having my hopes raised, only to have them dashed at the last moment. I’ll deal with it”
“You don’t have to deal with it on your own” she offered. “Canterlot is only a train ride away should you need to console with me” I didn’t answer for a while, contemplating her offer eventually I gave a response
“I’ll consider it” For the rest of the day we explored on the ship, we also discussed what would happen to all the stuff. I began to get ideas of what to do with all this stuff, nothing major yet, but I had plans al the same. By the time we’d finished exploring it was dark. We went to the deck to see a fleet of massive airships hovering above the container ship.
“Alright” I said in my own language to no one in particular “the steam engines were a let-down, these are somewhat impressive” I then turned to Celestia and tapped her on the shoulder, she quickly cast the spell and gave me a questioning look.
“Whilst those are all very impressive, how exactly are you going to transport an entire container ship weighing hundreds of thousands of tons through the air?” Celestia laughed.
“You think we’re going to carry this ship?” she asked “it’s simpler to teleport this ship into a hidden dock, they aren’t floating cranes, they’re portal ships”
“What the hell are portal ships?”
“You don’t have portal ships?” she asked.
“We don’t even have whatever it is you are using to talk to me” I replied, her eyebrows rose and she looked at me like I’d grown a second head.
“If you don’t have magic then how does your leader move the sun and moon?”
The ship had been teleported into a massive underground hanger by the time I could conjure a response.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“How would your world leaders be able to move the sun and the moon if you don’t have magic?” Celestia repeated.
“Are you serious!?” I exclaimed “It’s common knowledge that sun and moon move through orbital patters dictated by scientific factors such as mass and gravitational attraction! We don’t use this so-called ‘magic’, I know you’re over 100 years behind but it’s just downright childish to believe that they move through ‘magic’” Celestia scowled.
“It’s not childish; it’s an established fact of the arcane arts, myself and my sister, Luna, move the sun and the moon because they are too large to move themselves” she said “it’s just the nature of the world”
“I’m not going to argue this now” I replied “But this doesn’t mean you’ve won, it just means I’m not in the mood for a discussion of that level” Our attention was drawn to a massive crane making it way over, this looked like it was at a 1950s level of technology, leaving me confused.
“What the hell?, your trains are from 150 years ago compared to my world, whilst your airships are strait out of fantasy, meanwhile your cranes are from 60 years ago, and celestial bodies supposedly move through magic, not to mention technicolour talking ponies?” I paused, before throwing my arms up in the air “what high druggy thought up this shit!?” I leant against the wall and slid to the floor “I give up”
“There is nothing wrong with this planet” Celestia scoffed, rolling her eyes “we’ve merely advanced differently to your world, now whilst I’m sure you want to stay and watch, you need to be heading back home and getting sleep. You’ll need to be up bright and early to catch a train into Canterlot so that we can sort out your citizenship as well as what you shall be doing as a profession during your time here” I looked up.
“Do I get a choice in the matter of professions?” I asked.
“Of course” she answered “I wouldn’t just give you any old job” I sighed before standing up.
“Alright” I answered, before calling or Sam, he soon plodded over before sitting next to me, waiting. “How exactly does one get back to the town I’ve been staying in from here?” Celestia deactivated the spell before telling me as best she could that I needed to catch a train to a town called Ponyville, she teleported myself and her, along with Sam out of the hanger, she then summoned a bag of bits and a scroll with the locations to ask for in her language and pointed me in the direction of the train station. After bidding each other farewell, I watched her take off bound for a castle before I turned in the direction of the station and walking.
At this seemingly late hour there weren’t many of the local people around, and those that were around merely gave me a cautious greeting, or, in the case of a group of ponies that I came across that had obviously been out for a night of merriment, cheered their greetings in my direction, oblivious to my unusual appearance in there inebriated state. I soon reached the train station and looked at the clock mounted on the wall, only to find myself staring at it in confusion. There were 15 numbers, not 12, assuming it went through two full rotations per day that meant each day on this planet was 30 hours long
“Damn” I muttered “I need to find a way to reprogram the clock on my laptop” I shook my head to clear my thoughts, before making my way to the entrance. Once inside I spotted a ticket officer inside a booth who had dozed off, I rolled my eyes before walking over, leaning down and tapping on the glass, startling the ticket officer awake, he muttered something in his language before looking at me, shaking his head rapidly as if he was seeing things, and staring at me wide eyed.
“can I have a ticket for…” I looked down at the piece of paper “[Pan…er…dar] one moment…[Panedar]?” the pony stared for a moment, before I sighed and turned the sheet to him and pointed “[Panedar]?”
“Ah…yes” he said, finally understanding. ‘My accent must be thicker than I thought ’. he printed me off a ticket and I gave him the required money, but not before miss-counting a few times. With that done, I stood up and began searching for the station to wait on. Eventually I found the platform, where a small train headed by a locomotive of equal stature, it’s was ridiculously garish, in bright pinks and purples, with love hearts on the cowcatcher. I scoffed and shook my head.
“Oi!” I heard a female voice call, before I saw a Burnt-orange coated pony with maroon hair poke her head out of the cab, her voice had an odd accent, and I was barely able to understand what she said “Theur gorreur problem wi' dis engine.?”
“What?” I asked "My Equestrian isn't good"
“Do you have a problem with my engine?” she asked, much slower this time.
“I sorry” I said “is just, compared to where I come from, is almost…” I paused searching for the word “childish?” She narrowed her eyes at me.
“Get in the train before I refuse to let you travel” she said, nodding her head to the coaches behind us. I decided it would be wise to listen to her and called for Sam, as I walked toward the carriages I just manage to catch her muttering loud enough for me to hear
“Foreigners” I paused just outside the coach door, and contemplated going back there, but decided against it, I needed to get back to my home. I managed to squeeze into the carriage, though I felt like Gandalf in a Hobbit hole, and managed to find an empty compartment. Sam jumped up onto the opposite seat and curled up, within a few minutes he had drifted off. Unfortunately, I did’nt have that privilege, I had to keep an eye out for or destination, a task made all the more difficult by the seemingly late hour. After some time the train jolted as it pulled away from the station, Sam stirred and looked around before going back to sleep. With nothing better to do I decided to settle down and simply watch what little scenery I could see gliding past the window. The train was slow at first, frequently picking up those last few ponies waiting at stations to catch the last train home. However, after a while, it picked up speed and the stops became more infrequent. Eventually we stopped at the station I was looking for and I woke Sam up before quickly disembarking and shutting the door behind me. As we walked towards the exit I turned and happened to spot the driver from before, watching me, whether she was glaring at me or simply regarding me with curiosity, I couldn’t tell. I shook my head to clear my thoughts before making my way into the town, as we left the station I could hear the train puffing away.
The town was quiet as I expected and after some time searching, I spotted the forest my house was located on the edge of. Walking that way I eventually found my house and opened the door the let Sam in, he quickly plodded inside before finding his bed and curling up to sleep. I made my way inside and switched on the light to the kitchen, I sighed before putting the pasta into a storage container and putting the pan into the sink. After sorting out a few other things I quickly grabbed a bite to eat before making my way up to bed, ready to rise early tomorrow.
I woke up the next morning and sat up in bed before rubbing the sleep from my eyes. A glance out the window revealed it was still early judging by light levels.
“Damn alien planet” I muttered, before getting up and getting myself ready to leave for Canterlot. Already I was starting to worry about how the ponies as a whole would react to my appearance. It was obvious from the fact that I was tied to a bed and interrogated that they’d never seen anything like me before. My worry was still present even as I grabbed what I thought I would need including the money Celestia had given me, a little something to eat on the way and my tablet, which contained about 500 or so songs. At least I had Sam with me to ward off any particularly vocal individuals. Luckily it was still early, maybe equal to around 6 am back on earth. After a while I managed to find my way to the train station, after ordering a return ticket to Canterlot I sat on a bench, listening to music, meaning I could keep to myself whilst waiting for what seemed to be the first train of the day. After half an hour, going by the clock on my tablet, a white, horned pony, female by the looks of it, with electric-blue hair sat down next to me, she also had a pair of headphones around her neck. I noticed her turn to me and say something, but I couldn’t hear her over the music I was listening to. I pulled my headphones off and turned to her.
“Pardon?” I asked in the ponies’ language.
“What are you?” she asked.
“In my language, we call ourselves Human” I said.
“And what does your language sound like, Human?”
“Not too dissimilar to yours.” I said in English “It even seems to be in the same language group” she scrunched up her nose.
“Sounds odd” she said. I snorted
“Your language sounds odd to me” I retorted.
“Hah, fair point” she conceded “so what’s your name?”
“Luke” I said, before patting Sam “And this is Sam, yours?”
“Call me Vinyl” she said. “So what’s a ’human’ doing in Equestria?”
“I came here through no choice of my own” I said “but that’s not important, right now I’m off to canterlot to get myself citizenship and hopefully a job.” I finished with a shrug “but honestly at this point at this point whatever happens? happens”
“Fair enough” she said
“So what are you traveling for?” I asked.
“Oh, I’ve got a music [something] in canterlot” she explained.
“Um, I’m afraid I’m not particularly familiar with that word” I said “care to explain it to me?” she thought for a moment before answering.
“It’s where I play music” she said.
“You play music?” I asked in surprise “what type?” She went to answer, but was interrupted by a whistle, we looked to see a train approaching. When it stopped at the station we climbed into the compartment. Once we got settled and the train began making its way towards canterlot Vinyl turned to me before levitating over her pair of headphones attached to something that looked like an old Walkman. I put them on and immediately began hearing music that sounded distinctly like Electronic music, it could even be classified as Dubstep. I looked at her in surprise before nodding my head and smiling. When the song finished I then took off the headphones and passed them back to her.
“Sounds good, I like” I said “Whilst I don’t create music, I’m partial to a little of this” I then unplugged my headphones and began playing a song through the external speaker, a fast drumbeat began playing. Vinyl’s eyes went wide as the heavy, rhythmic guitaring started. Her ears pricked up at the foreign words and she looked at the device in something approaching wonder. When the song finished she had a spaced out look.
“More…” she breathed. I chuckled
“It’s Industrial Metal” I said, saying the genre in English “Do you live in Ponyville?” She nodded
“I really need copies of some of your human music” she said.
“I’ll be sure to try and introduce you to some more at some point” I said “I’m living in the big house on the edge of the forest” for the rest of the journey we just sat and talked, or talked as best as I could at my current level. She even gave me a ticket to her performance, to which I told her that I’d try to make it, assuming I was free at that time. Eventually the train slowed as we came into Canterlot, a look outside the window confirmed that the steam locomotives were of an 1860s period of design.
“Let’s hope I can get into a meeting with the management of whoever runs this railway” I muttered in English.
“You say something?” Vinyl asked, climbing out of the carriage.
“Nothing” I said “Just thinking”
“Well, I’ll catch you and your pet dog later” She said before walking off. I checked to make sure that I had everything before making my way towards the exit. I’ll admit, I was feeling a little nervous as I walked through the streets towards the castle and I would be lying if I said that there wasn’t ponies blatantly staring at me. I kept my head down and my mouth shut as I walked up the steps to the castle, I was about to enter the castle when two small, crossed pikes stopped me. I looked down to see two ponies dressed in what could only be described as imitation centurion armour blocking my path.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
“Do you have a reason to be walking up the steps to the [something] [something]?” one asked. Before jerking a hoof to another set of doors, that was actually open “The [something] [something] is over there” I looked over before chuckling nervously.
“Sorry” I said, before making my way to the doorway.
“Hey!” They called, I looked over “Just make sure you can keep that wolf under control” I nodded and gave a casual two-fingered salute before continuing on my way with Same close to me, he knew to stick nearby in places we weren’t familiar with. As we entered the castle I found my breath to be stolen from me by the sheer beauty of the architecture.
“Holy shit” I muttered “Gotta hand it to these ponies, they can build a decent castle” I then began walking through the castle looking for some kind of throne room. Eventually I came to a large set of doors guarded by more pony guards. I was about to ask them if this was the throne room when the doors opened and a pony walked out. Already I didn’t like him, he was white with blond hair and he reeked of that “I’m better than you attitude” He saw me and snorted before walking off with his head held high. I watched him walk down the hallway before turning to the open doors ad cautiously peering inside, sat on a throne at the end of the room was Celestia, so I began to make my way inside, once myself and Sam were clear of the doors they closed behind us. After a lengthy walk down the carpet I stopped at the foot of some stairs leading up to the throne.
“I trust you had a pleasant trip” Celestia said in Equestrian. I simply nodded and Celestia stood up before making her way down the stairs and towards a balcony. “Good, then let us get down to [unteermahe]” I followed after her as she sat at a small table and ‘magicked’ a scroll, ink pot and quill out of thin air. I stopped and stared at the items that were suspended in mid air. “Is there a problem?”
“How?” I paused searching for the right word “That” I eventually said, gesturing to the levitating items.
“Magic” she simply said, placing the scroll and inkpot on the table and gesturing for me to sit. Sam simply curled up nearby as I sat on a cushion opposite her. A pony servant rolled over a trolley carrying what distinctly looked like a teapot as I felt a familiar tingle around my head and I heard Celestia talking to me.
“This is your citizenship form” She said “without it, you can’t get a source of employment” she then levitated the teapot. “Tea?”
“Oh, yes please” I said, getting myself a teacup, She poured the tea for me and I added milk and sugar before taking a sip and sighing. “Thank you”
“You are most welcome” she said, smiling before placing the scroll on the table and dipping the quill in the ink pot. “Name”
“Luke Washington” I said aloud. We continued like this until the citizenship form was completed, engaging in the occasional small talk in between. By the time the form was filled in the teapot had been emptied.
“Seems everything is in order” she said “I’ll be giving your home a set address, this can take some time so you’ll receive your citizenship details in about a week. Then we can see about looking for a line of employment” I nodded “Do you have any idea what it is you’d like to do?”
“Working on the railways” I said almost immediately “plus I have a proposition for whoever designs the locomotives here” she gestured for me to continue.
“On my world our railways are at least 150 years ahead” I said ”Steam is a thing of the past, but, we made many advancements that I feel could be seriously beneficial to your railways; Better track work, better signalling, more powerful locomotives, safer coaches faster, journey times and increased passenger comfort” Celestia thought for a moment before responding.
“I will pass on your proposition to the railroad management,” she said. “but I can’t promise anything” I nodded in understanding.
“I take it some higher ups can be a little stubborn at times” I said, she smiled slightly “Well, I believe that just about wraps things up here” I went to stand up.
“Just a moment” she said, stopping me “The scientists examining the ship would like your advice on some things”
“Of course” I said, that reminded me “I would also like to claim ownership over some of the items if you would allow it”
“It depends” she said, standing up. I stood up and woke Sam up before following after her. As we walked out of a side door of the throne room and into an old staircase her horn began to glow. The staircase seemed to stretch down forever
“How deep are we going?” I asked.
“The cave was dug in the center of Mount Canter during the 1st Pony-Griffin Way so that any new weapons were a secret, not even a troller worm could dig its way inside” After a while she looked back at me “I’m curious, how advanced is your world?”
“Advanced enough for the average person to have handheld devices that allows long distance communication and access to the entire sum of human knowledge” I said, she looked at me to elaborate.
I’ll explain when we’re down there” I said “I hate having to repeat myself” we soon reached what I’d mentally dubbed “The Vault” and entered to see the massive container ship, though many of the containers had been removed from the ships and the seemingly endless vault was starting look like a container port. I noticed there was a large clearing where a makeshift laboratory was set up, and ponies were examining the locomotive as well as sever other vehicles. I gestured for Sam to stay and he sat to one side of the doorway like a guard dog. Celestia led me over to the laboratory where a brown pony with a horn and an hourglass mark on his rear greeted us, or rather Celestia, with a bow.
“Your majesty” he said, for some reason I was able to understand him better than before, something I attributed to the spell Celestia had going “and I trust this is the individual whose planet all of this comes from”
“That is correct, professor” Celestia said “I’m afraid Luke here isn’t totally fluent in our language, so I’ll be his interpreter” the pony nodded before extending a hoof towards me, I bent down slightly and took it in my hand before giving a single shake.
“Pleased to meet you” I said.
“A fascinating accent” He said “you’ll have to show some of us your native language. If you’ll follow me this way” He lead us over to The Pagani, making me smile
“We’re a little confused as to the function of it” the professor said.
“This is what we call a Pagani Zonda, It’s a form of automobile” I said in English, Celestia could still understand, so she interpreted into Equestrian for me.
“What function does this “Automobile” perform?” A scientist asked.
“It doesn’t really have a practical function like a locomotive or airship does, it’s simply meant for fun” Ponies scribbled notes onto note pads after Celestia interpreted for me. I thought for a moment before walking over to the beautifully designed car.
“That doesn’t however mean that it doesn’t have an intelligent design” I said, before pointing to the front “notice how the car is so low, and how the nose is like a sharply angled wedge?” the ponies nodded.
“These are to give it the best aerodynamics possible” I said “this thing is designed for two things: to go fast and to corner fast.” I then walked over to the filler cap and opened it before peering inside. I gasped, the car actually had fuel in it, A full tank. I grinned.
“Is everything alright?” a scientist asked.
“Yes” I said “You may want to clear a path through here, I’ll be able to demonstrate this vehicle in action for you” the scientists began moving tables and vehicles whilst I read through the manual. Even though I’d never driven a car before I had a pretty good idea of how to operate one. Soon a path was cleared and I’d mentally mapped out a course.
“OK ponies, you might want to step back” I said, getting in, the professor was sat in the passenger seat, taking notes “This produces the same power as 800 of your strongest ponies, it’s also very loud” After allowing them time to take a few steps back I turned the key, after a few revolutions it roared into life before settling down into a purr. Ponies began to take notes as I revved the engine a couple of times, getting a feel for it, I carefully put it into gear before easing onto the accelerator. I was barely touching it and it already wanted to run away from me. “Ok, let’s see what you can do” I was in the clear and a seemingly endless cavern awaited me. I promptly mashed my foot into the floor and it shot forth like a racehorse out of the starting gates. The pony beside me let out a yelp, which was drowned out by the beautiful engine roaring like some banshee from hell. I watched the speed climb as I changed up a gear, I could see the cave floor start to go rough up ahead, ‘Time to head back ’ I thought to myself. I quickly braked and downshifted before making my way around some large builders, the ground making up a natural racecourse for me. Beside me, the professor was taking notes furiously as I performed hairpin turns. As I turned ready to go back, the tail end started to slide out.
“Shit!” I shouted, fanatically turning the steering wheel to compensate for the slide. The rear of the car hesitated at a 45’ angle, before getting back in line, just missing a large boulder. Once I was in the clear I let out a sigh of relief, before promptly thrashing the engine one last time. There was a clear path to one side of the makeshift lab and I drove down that path, shooting passed an open-mouthed science team and Celestia at over 200mph. I let the car hold at that speed for a few seconds, savouring the sound of the engine one last time before slowing down and turning back. I cruised into the laboratory area before stopping, shutting off the engine and stepping out. The collective group were open mouthed in shock as the professor climbed out and walk around the car
“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you do it” I said “Anything else?”
I woke up with my head pounding and my vision blurry. I could’nt remember a thing about last night, except for flashing lights and pounding bass. ‘That answers the question of whether I made it to the concert or not ’ I thought. Shutting my eyes to try and block out the light in an attempt to ease the headache. I tried to sit up, only to have myself pulled back down by something furry. My eyes shot open and I blinked through the blurriness until my eyes focused and I found myself face to face with a certain white-coated pony.
“Oh…shit” I whispered. ‘I must have really been shitfaced out of my mind if I…oh fuck ’ The realisation hit me and I practically leapt out of bed before smacking my head on the wall, I clutched my head in pain before letting out a hiss, as if the hangover wasn’t bad enough “Ah! Fuck!”
“Huh?” I heard Vinyl say “Oh, are you OK?”
“Please tell me we not…you-know-what” I barely managed to say. After a few moments I heard her chuckle
“If you were able to do that to me through those” She said “then I’d be seriously impressed” I looked up to see Vinyl with a bemused expression on her face, I then looked down to see I still had my underwear on. I let out a sigh of relief.
“Thank fuck!” I said in my own language, Vinyl must have sensed the relief in my voice.
“What, you gotta a problem with ponies?” she asked.
“No…I just” I stumbled for words “Not ready” Vinyl oh’d in understanding.
“Are other species not common where you’re from?” She asked, climbing out of my bed. I shook my head.
“no other people” I said “Humans…all there is” Vinyl raised an eyebrow.
“Hmm, must be boring on your world” she said, stretching out before trotting to the doorway “On this world there is more than enough variety to choose from”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Ask me again after half an hour” she said, before walking into the bath room, within a few seconds I could hear the shower running.
“I guess they have showers too” I thought aloud, before standing up and getting myself dressed, I was still curious as to what went on last night to cause Vinyl, a pony I’d only just met, to stay the night. Unfortunaly my headache made it almost impossible to think clearly. Once dressed I made my way downstairs to find Sam still asleep on the Sofa, I shook my head in amusement before making my way to the kitchen, I got the biggest mug I could find before setting about making the strongest cup of tea I could. Once that was done and I’d had a few sips I walked over to the sound bar mounted on the wall and turned it on before getting out my phone and activating the Bluetooth. I made sure the volume wasn’t too loud before playing some of my favourite songs and setting about making breakfast, I’d have to wait for Vinyl to come downstairs before asking what she wanted. I looked in the Fridge and sighed, stocks were running low and I’d have to get food soon.
“Let’s hope the local ponies don’t react…like last time” I could still remember the time those ponies broke into my house because they thought their friend was in danger, I still hadn’t gotten around to thanking Twilight for repairing the door. I shook my head to clear my thoughts before getting what food remained out of the fridge and setting to work. Whilst I was no Gordon Ramsey, I still prided myself in knowing how to cook. With what I had, I could make a couple of simple omelettes, though I’d have to go into Ponyville to get more food today. I’d just poured my own omelette into the pan when I noticed Vinyl walking into the kitchen.
“Awake now?” I asked.
“You mean I wasn’t after you launched yourself out of bed?” she asked.
“Fair point” I said “that is something I’m wondering, how did you end up in my bed?” she staired at the chairs around the kitchen table before sitting in one.
“I live with another pony” she said “it was late by the time we got back, so you offered to let me stay the night so as to avoid disturbing my friend”
“Fair enough” I said “though sober me would never even think of asking that, I’m just too…shy I guess” Vinyl raised an eyebrow, but didn’t press any further.
“Tell me, have you ever had Omelette?” I asked.
“Huh?” she asked “that another thing from your world?”
“I’ll take that as a no” I said, I then held up the different ingredients. “you willing to give it a try?” she thought for a moment before giving a shrug.
“Eh, sure”.
“Right, you said earlier that there was ‘variety’ to choose from” I said “care to explain?”
“Ponies aren’t the only species that talks” she said “You’ve got Griffins, Hippogriffs, Dragons. That’s just the ones I can think of, there are hundreds of different species” I gave a low whistle.
“Plenty of fish in the sea” I muttered in English.
“Huh?” she asked. I translated the saying and she scrunched up her nose “what kind of saying is that!?”
“A human saying” I said, “it means plenty of options to choose from”
“I’ll have to remember it” she said, at that moment a couple of scrolls, a folded sheep of paper and a small bag thudding onto the table, followed shortly after by another flash and a large bag of gold fudding onto the table.
“The fuck!?” I exclaimed in my own language, before picking up the letter.
This letter has been enchanted with a spell that allows you to see it as if it were written in your own language so as to ease in your understanding of this scroll.
Dear Luke Washington
I have contacted the management of Equestrian National Railways and their chief mechanical engineer is willing to meet with you to discuss your proposition. Her letter to you is attached.
I realise that you have no money in which to buy food, so I have sent you a bag of bits so that you may sustain yourself on essentials until you have a job. I have also attached a card that will let you travel from Ponyville to Canterlot free of charge, but this is only valid for a daily return ticket so use it wisely.
I have also managed to enchant a necklace with a spell similar to the telepathy spell we use so that you can communicate easier when you need to. But use it wisely, it only has a limited charge and takes time to recharge.
Another thing I felt I should mention is that due to you being the only known member of your species, you will have a place on one of my councils made up of various species
I expect we will meet again soon, so i look forward to our next meeting.
Sincerely, Princess Celestia
P.S. I have attached a vial that will allow you to send letters to me
I picked up the second letter and continued reading
Dear Luke Washington
Princess Celestia tells me that you are willing to share your world’s technology in the interest of furthering our own railway system. I would be delighted to meet with you to further discuss this proposition. Meet me at Canterlot’s Draconica works with plenty of photographic examples of locomotives and rolling stock from your country.
From how Celestia described you, you seem to have a rather passionate interest in Railways, so I have included a map of the Equestrian Transport Network for you.
Sincerely, Emerald Nights, CME of the Equestrian National Railway.
“[well, looks like my travel problems are sorted]” I said in English, examining the metal card attached to the back of the scroll before going back to cooking.
“that’s a lot of money” Vinyl said, giving a low whistle.
“how much are we talking about?” I asked.
“You’ll be able to get enough food for a decent meal with about 5 bits” she said, she opened the bag and her eyes widened “this is well past a couple hundred bits”
“So in short…”
“You’re loaded” she said, smirking “you lucky [freka]!”
“What’s that word mean?” I asked.
“It’s another word or when to ponies…” she paused “you know, do the thing you were afraid that we’d done. But there’s two ways of saying it, there’s [frek], that can be used as an exclamation, then there’s [freka] which is used to refer to somepony”
“Oh! We say [fuck], or [fucker]” I said, Vinyl giggled.
“Got any other swears in your language?” she asked. I thought for a moment.
“A great guy once said that the major dirty words are [Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits, fart, turd and twat]” I said, Vinyl snorted and I chuckled, soon Breakfast was ready and as soon as that was done Vinyl bid me farewell and left for her own house. I then put the all the dishes to one side and wrote a letter to Celestia to forward to Emerald Nights before sending it off. Then I began collecting research and photographic evidence of all my country's most notable designs of the steam era, as well as transferring some videos to my laptop, which would greatly help with providing evidence once I actually got there. About an hour later I had everything I needed, so I packed everything into my rucksack and set out for the station with Sam by my side.
The journey there was uneventful, if slightly more populated than the last few times I’d travelled. I’d have to pick up some food on the way back home, just enough to sustain me until I travelled back out for a proper shopping trip. After the usual journey time we reached Canterlot and I quickly made my way outside in order to find a royal guard. I thought now would be the best time to test out the necklace and I put it on, suddenly the countless conversations going on around me were much more understandable. I spotted a royal guard on patrol and made my way over.
“Excuse me” I called, the guard stopped and looked at me, his eyes widening briefly before he regained his stoic composure.
“How may I be of assistance?” the guard asked.
“I was wondering if you could direct me to Canterlot’s Draconia works” the guard pointed down a side road near to the station.
“Go down there until you come to a big workshop” he said “you can’t miss it” I nodded in thanks before making my way towards the side road and following it down. Quickly the road reached an industrial district with tramways snaking their way across the road between buildings, occasionally I had to stop to let a diminutive engine wheeze past with a string of wagons. The workshops came into view and I was just about to make my way over to them when a shrill whistle pierced the air and I turned to see a tank engine charging towards me. I grabbed Sam and leapt back just as it screeched past before sliding to a halt.
“Theur need ta watch wheear you’re gonneur!” the driver called, I looked over and internally groaned, it was the engine driver from before, she jumped down, revealing herself to be a pegasus
“I’m sorry” I said “These engines are quieter than you’d think
“Whateva” she said “Next tahhm ah sithee not payin attention ah won’t gi' warnin!” she then flew back into the cab and blasted on the whistle before charging off. Once she was gone, I let out a sigh of relief.
“That was too close” I muttered, before making my way towards the workshop. Once inside I was in awe at the sheer size of the place, I had to once again pull Sam out of the way as other works loco clanked past.
“I see you’ve made it” I heard a female voice call over the noise of the workshop, I turned to see a dark green Unicorn with brown mane and tale trotting over, I was initially taken back by how comparatively young she seemed to be.
“I take it you are Emerald Nights” I said.
“Indeed” she said “shall we take this some place quieter?” I nodded.
“Lead the way” I said, gesturing for her to go on, eventually we made our way to a large office overlooking the workshop. The room was nicely furnished, but obviously built more for work than relaxing, the end overlooking the workshop was made of glass, creating an observation area of sorts, in front of the observation area was a large, low to the ground desk and a swivelling stool of some sort between the desk and the observation area, presumably so Emerald Nights could keep an eye on the work going on below. This side of the desk was a couple of cushions. On her way to the desk I noticed Emerald Night levitating a bottle of some sort of cream coloured liquid and a couple of whisky glass-sized tumblers.
“Come, sit” she said, gesturing to one of the cushions before sitting on the stool. I sat on the cushion and Sam curled up nearby
“I must admit” I said “I was initially taken about by how young you look”
“Oh!” she asked, pouring the drink into each glass “and how young do you think I am?” her tone wasn’t one of indignation or offence, merely curiosity.
“Mid-twenties” I said “early-thirties at a push” she smiled
“You are surprisingly perceptive for someone from another world-if what Celestia told me is to be believed-though I have to ask, why were you surprised?” she levitated one of the glasses over to me and I took a sip, noting with some surprise that it was comparable to baileys.
“All of the locomotive designers back on my world were in their mid-40s to 50s when they started” I said, putting the glass down and getting my laptop out of the bag before starting it up. Once the desktop was loaded up I went into a folder that I’d crated for today and turned the laptop to her “Should the principles of my world’s designers be implemented successfully, you can hope to see performance matching or exceeding those shown in this recording” I then clicked one of the video files and the screen went black. birdsong started to filter out of the speakers before the screen faded to a view of a railway line with overhead wires.
Youtube Video
“Remarkable” Emerald Nights gasped.
“It won’t happen overnight” I said “But I do have plans that should ease the railways into a new age of speed, comfort and safety” she thought for a moment before answering.
“I’m listening” she said.
“I have a plan that involves standardisation” I said
“Standersisation?” she asked.
“It’s where all locomotives share certain common components” I said “so locomotives of a certain size would share the same boiler, cylinders and cab for instance. It means manufacturing new classes of locomotives will be cheaper as you can simply draw upon an inventory of pre-exiting parts”
“Make sense” she said, nodding in thought
“Pre-existing classes will be rebuilt with these standard components” I said “so they can keep the railways running whilst the brand new locomotives are being designed and built”
“So the established locomotives would still have a use” she said, I tipped my glass slightly in acknowledgement.
“Locomotives would also be reclassified and re-numbered” I continued “this means that locomotives of a certain type will have an allocated number series, it would also ease in identification of a class”
“What would this reclassification entail?” she asked. I brought up another document.
“All locomotives classes that share the same wheel arraignment will be assigned a letter” I explained “so let’s say a locomotive with just 4 driving wheels would be classified as ‘A’, an individual class of locomotives would have its own number so as to distinguish classes within a wheel arrangement, for example ‘A1’ would be the earliest class of four wheeler you have”
“That makes a lot of sense” she said “did you come up with this yourself?”
“No” I said, taking a sip of my drink “the ordering is based on a pre-existing system from an old railway back home, but I’ve refined and improved it, the same goes for the numbering system” Emerald nodded
“What exactly would these locomotives look like?” she asked, I brought up a picture of a large green locomotive .
“A primary express locomotive would look something like this, but adapted to your track gauge and clearances with a few stylistic liberties taken” I said, before pausing “Out of curiosity, what is the track gauge used here?”
Six hooves wide” Emerald said, pointing to a six foot long measuring stick hung on the wall “it was done that way originally so that if anypony were to fall onto the track there would be less chance of being struck by the wheels, what is it back home?”
“4 hooves, 8 & ½ inches” I said, converting what I’d figured out myself. Emerald snorted.
“That’s oddly specific” she said.
“It was used in mines originally” I said “Unfortunately it was too far spread by the time a larger, 7 hoof gauge was developed”
“So you were stuck with a narrow gauge”
“By your standards, yes” I said “So, what do you think to my proposal?” Emerald turned towards the workshop and stared out for a few moments.
“It won’t be easy” she said “not to mention that the management are stubborn…but, the long term benefits more than outweigh the shortcomings”
“Thank you” I said.
“soon” Emerald said “Everyone will be thanking you ”
“What do you mean?” I asked, not quite following
“well you are going to help with the design process” she said “aren’t you?”
“Of course” I said “it’s just that you are the chief mechanical engineer”
“Yes” she said “and as of now, you are my apprentice” I was taken aback
"But what about the management?" I asked. she stood up and put her forehooves on the table, she had a smirk and an odd glimmer in her eye, like she had a shit-ton of ideas and one big plan
"Just let them try and stop me"
A couple of weeks had passed since I’d become Emerald’s Apprentice, surprisingly some of the management board had approved of my proposal, so now I was a genuine employee of the railway, I technically had two jobs, one as Emerald’s apprentice, which basically required me to show up once a week at the workshop and advise on the design process. My other job was as a trainee driver, which required me to help with shunting and occasionally going out on route learning runs, watching the line whilst an experienced driver handled things, occasionally warning me of nearby signals. The only problem was the driver on this particular run was the Pegasus from before. I discovered her name to be Autumn Skies, and she seemed to be trying to make things difficult for me, calling out signals when I could already see them and calling me out the moment I glanced away from the road ahead, I’m honestly surprised she didn’t draw a chalk line across the cab. Not to mention her southern Griffith isles accent was barely understandable to me.
We were on a mineral working (that’s any type of open wagon train that contains stone, coal or metal ores) heading for Dodge Junction, a good day’s journey away, and that’s on an express, I’d be lucky to see my house two days from now. Which was why I was thankful they’d let me bring Sam aboard, it’s a good thing Equestrian locos are so large so Sam could curl up in the corner of the tender, out of the way. I was leaning out of the window slightly, trying to catch what little wind was going past at all of 20 mph, we had recently passed Ponyville and were running along the border of the Everfree forest, I would catch the occasional glimpse of wildlife darting into the forest. I was just glancing into the forest briefly when I caught a glimpse of something that resembled an engine.
“Hey, Autumn” I called “Stop the train!”
“Ah swear ta Faust” heard her mutter over the wheezing of the engine, it took some time for the train to stop. “Wha' is it!?”
“I saw what looked like an engine abandoned in the forest” I said. she raised an eyebrow
“You’ve getten fi' minutes” She said, standing up “then i’m leavin wiyaa' theur” I quickly climbed down and walked back, Sam following me, it was hard to locate the spot, but eventually I did and stopped in my tracks.
“A bit more than one locomotive” I said aloud. I hear Autumn flying over
“Ah swear if dis is just um owd junk i’ll buk thy noggin sa 'ard….” She trailed of “Wha' are those!?”
“I…I don’t [fucking] believe it” I breathed out, laying, abandoned and totally undiscovered, was a line of steam locomotives from my country under tarpaulins “These must have been headed for the scrapheap”
“Wha' does thee mean 'eaded fert scrapheap?” Autumn asked.
“I’ll explain later” I said “But now we need to head back to Ponyville and get a train of flatbeds and a crane down here”
“Stay 'eear” she said, flying back to the brake van and flying inside. I began looking over the engines, The front engine was the only one that wasn’t covered was one of the British rail Standards, a Class 9F by the looks of it. Autumn soon came back as I heard the train begin puffing back down the line towards Ponyville. “T' firepony is goan tek t' treeam intoa eur passin loop 'n i’m gonneur fly back ta ponyville ta orda eur breytdown treeam” I nodded and began to climb up onto the front loco whilst Autumn flew off once more. Once I could see the inside of the cab I froze, There were bodies in an…advanced state of decay.
“[Oh god]!” I exclaimed, jumping down before sitting down with my back against the locomotive “[why is there always dead bodies]!?” Sam merely let out a quick whine and tilted his head. Sometime later I heard the staccato bark of an engine echoing around and walked over to the line to see an early type of 2-8-0 freight locomotive puffing over with a brake down train, alongside another 2-8-0 drew some flatbed wagons next to the crane. Out of one of the engines, Emerald Nights climbed down and trotted over.
“Show me” she said, I showed her to the scrap train and she gazed wide eyed “how good a condition are the engines under the tarpaulin?”
“We won’t know until we properly examine them” I said “but hopefully they can be salvaged enough for your scientists to learn all they need to know”
“What’s your plan with them?” she asked as ponies got to work clearing a path for the trees.
“I’m thinking get them back to Canterlot works, asses their condition” I said “then if they are in good enough condition convert them to Equestrian gauge”
“And if they’re past it?” she asked
“Learn what we can” I said with a shrug “then we give them a visual restoration and send them off to Canterlot Museum, no way am I letting them get scrapped, I’ll claim the lot of them as mine if I have to” Eventually they cleared a path for the massive cranes to begin lifting the engines, there were quite a few, with some coaches and wagons thrown in, we started with the 9F and made our way down the line, most of them were the size of ordinary locomotives, but one was rather peculiar looking.
“Is that what I think it is?” I thought as I examined the last locomotive, still stuck in the undergrowth. “Hey, can you shift this tarpaulin?” some of the work ponies obliged and everyone let out a collective gasp once it was in plain view.
“What in the name of [Faust] is that!?” Emerald exclaimed.
“Something I never thought I’d see with my own two eyes” I said, actually rubbing my eyes to check I wasn’t seeing things. The engine was massive, over 80 foot long, the massive boiler was suspended between two power units. “No [fucking] way, it’s a [bloody Midland Garrett]!”
“A what?” Emerald asked.
“An attempt at eliminating the use of two locos on the same train” I said “let’s get it on the flatbed and up to Canterlot” the workponies slung cables underneath the power bogies and carefully hoisted it up onto one of the flatbeds, which visibly sagged slightly.
“We’ll have to be carefull” Emerald said, before calling to the work ponies “Tarp it back up! And cover that loco!” she pointed to the Standard 9F. Soon everything was secured and the low loader train had two engines coupled up, we were in the cab of the second loco.
“You referred to it as a 9F” Emerald said “what exactly do you mean by that?”
“It was an example of a locomotive employing Standardization” I said
“You mean like you intend to?” she asked in a hushed tone, I nodded.
“It was called a 9F because the railway used a power rating system from 1-9” I said “and it fell under the power rating of 9”
“We might just have to use that system” she said as we pulled away, the locos cave a jolt before slipping once, then slowly pulling away.
“A 9F could manage this single handedly” I whispered, giving her a pointed look.
By the time we reached Canterlot it was dark, we’d had to wait as more important trains passed. We snuck the train into one of the long sheds and set about getting the tarpaulins off. The first one came off and I smiled.
“Well” I said “What railway would this be without a [Jinty]…make that 5 [Jintys]” I corrected myself when I saw that four more covered locos shared the same silhouette under the tarps.
“What’s a [Jinty]?” Emerald asked
“A basic form of tank engine, no thrills, simply gets the job done” I said, before pointing to the other covered Jintys “Those are the same” most of the engines were as one would expect to find in 1960s Yorkshire: a couple of Black Fives, A J50, A B1, an O1, an O4, a V2, and a Standard 5. It’s the locos after that that were of special note
The next engine was large, with a large tender outlined under the tarp, we lifted the coverings, and I gasped.
“What is that doing here?” I asked aloud” the engine was a 4-6-2, or “Pacific” type, one of the Britannia class by the looks of it.
“You have got to be kidding me” on the wagon was a large express locomotive, another Pacific type, among the rust were flecks of its dark green paint, and on the smokebox I could still make out the numberplate: 60108. This was an A3, one of Flying Scotsman’s sisters
“Fillies & Gentlecolts” I said in a hushed tone “Allow me to introduce you to one of earth’s most famous class of steam locomotives, the L.N.E.R. A3.”
“What’s the name plate say?” I heard a pony ask, I looked over and my feelings of awe were immediately shattered.
“The name says…” I mentally prepared myself “Gay Crusader”
There was a pause.
“None of you have any problem with that name?” I asked
“Why would we?” A pony asked.
“Never mind” I said “Get the next sheet off!” the sheet fell away to reveal a large locomotive, another Pacific type, this one was very similar to the A3, except it was longer, with the cylinders further back between the front truck and the driving wheels in an ungainly position. On the Name plates were two words…‘Great Northern’.
“[Oh good god]” I said, scowling before muttering “[Damn you, Thompson, you really ruined her, didn’t you]”
“That does not look right” Emerald said “those cylinders are too far back”
“Such is Edward Thompson’s legacy” I said “He took one of Crusader’s Sisters and turned her into…that thing”
“So what do we do with it?” she asked.
“We unrebuild it and return it to original condition, this was the first ever A3” I said “I want this loco restored to it’s best form” we uncovered the next engine to reveal a sleek looking express Pacific with a streamlined casing, the Name “Falcon” was on the nameplates
“[Holy shit]!” I exclaimed.
“What?” Emerald asked, I climbed onto the wagon.
“This was the greatest express design ever made” I said “The L.N.E.R. A4”
“Is it fast?” I heard a pony ask, I chuckled
“The fastest” I said “They were nicknamed ‘streaks’ for a reason, let’s hope this one will live up to that nickname”
The next 3 engines were more Thompson Pacifics, one of each type, then we came to the last engine barring the Garratt, it was a plain looking engine, with 8 small driving wheels, two even smaller leading wheels, large cylinders, a simple boiler and clean, simple lines.
“What’s this one?” Emerald asked.
“This is a Riddle’s W.D.” I said “the result of a country at war, almost a thousand of these were built for military use and shipped to other countries, it was built as cheaply as possible, but it was powerful, this one should be the easiest to steam up again”
“Do you really think they can do it?” Emerald asked “I mean, you said it yourself, this is about 100 years more advanced than ours”
“Then you will learn a lot in the process” I said “I’ll have to postpone further route learning runs until these are all assessed and rebuilt where possible”
“Which locomotive should we convert first?” she asked, I thought for a moment
“I’m thinking the [Britannia]” I said “[Britannia] was the Human embodiment of my country, plus the name [morning Star] is rather appropriate”
“And what does that mean?” she asked, I translated and she smiled “Yeah, that is rather fitting”
“Then we take the 9F, [Great Northern] and [Falcon] and convert them” I said “Those 3 are our best bet at convincing the old lot that this is the way forward” Emerald nodded and began ordering the work ponies, moving the wagons about, Morning Star, the 9F, Falcon and Great Northern were shunted into the works, after the bodies had been taken out of the 9F of course.
“How long should it take to inspect each locomotive?” I asked as they lifted Morning star off of the flatbed and onto the hard floor, followed by its tender.
“Depends on what state the insides are in” Emerald said “But I imagine about a day for each engine, starting with old Morning Star, conversion will take longer”
“I’ll see if I can dig up some technical drawing when I get back home” I said.
“What’s all of this then?” I heard an older inspector ask, pointing at the valve motion, I walked over.
“That controls the direction of the cylinders”
“Why not use magic?” he asked.
“Because my world doesn’t have magic” I said “We had to make do without, hence all the complicated rods on the side”
“Keep hold of it” Emerald said “We can convert one of the Black Fives with our valves and use the other as a comparison, for now, we get this on a set of 6 hoof frames” I nodded in thanks. For the rest of the day they inspected Morning Star, whilst I gave them whatever information I could regarding what parts did what, eventually they gave it a general OK for conversion to go ahead and they’d lifted the boler for overhaul by the time I had to call it a night, promising to find technical drawings of the locomotive when I got home. That night on the train I looked forward to traveling back, and I was confident that the future would turn out brightly.
“We can do this, Sam” I said, Sam’s ears merely twitched and the train ratted towards Ponyville, and home.
I was stood outside the director’s office of the E.N.R., and this time Sam wasn’t with me, The management had found out about our little plan and let’s say they weren’t best pleased at us going behind their backs. I sighed as I could hear Emerald struggling to keep her voice down, the reason I wasn’t in there with her was because I’m simply an apprentice, despite the fact that I’d be getting a good majority of the credit for the conversions. I heard the voices dies down and Emerald practically stormed out, I followed her outside and my eyes widened as she sat to one side of the door, pulled a tobacco pipe out of her coat and lit it up.
“Well, Emma” I asked, using the nickname I’d given her “What’s the damage?” I asked after she’d taken a few puffs.
“The management and myself have reached a compromise, though it’s a slim chance for us” she said, taking another puff “they’ve agreed to let us build a loco based off of Falcon and take her on a test run, but if we don’t meet their standards then that’s it, the locos get either scrapped or stuffed and mounted in Canterlot Museum”
“And what’s the route?” I asked
“Canterlot to Manehatten” she said “that’s 1’400 miles as the Pegasus flies” I deadpanned
“You can’t be serious” I said
“I wish I wasn’t,” she said, grim faced. I sighed before straightening up.
“Well, if we’re gonna do it, we’re gonna give it our absolute best” I said “no way are we gonna just give up”
“I’m with you there” she said “I ain’t backing down” We made our way back to the works, where the boiler for Falcon was lying in a cradle at ground level, whilst the tubes were lying next to it. I saw a Pony climb out, covered in flakes of rust, they climbed down before shaking themselves like a dog.
“How’s the boiler?” I asked.
“It’s bucked!” the pony shouted “Whoever passed it in the first place needs their eyes checking” Whilst Equestrian advancement in terms of steam power leaves much to be desired, there metallurgy is far superior to even Earths, I kid you not, they can get steel as strong as titanium and then some. Which is why it would be more cost effective to simply make a new boiler, their QC is unbelievably strict. from what Emerald told me, they seal each new boiler in a sealed and “warded” container, then they pump the boiler up with water to twice the safe working pressure, if they hear a bang then they send the remains back to the metallurgists along with a strongly worded letter, this is why the royal guard uses solid gold as their armour of choice.
Which was why the entire thing was practically being built from new, which was fine by me, because quite frankly, fitting a boiler built for a 4 foot 8.5 inch gauge locomotive onto a 6 foot gauge loco would look really weird. That gave me other plans for the locos from my world.
After checking on a few more things we left. Now, to the left of the works is a set of sidings, and beyond that, a large shed, this is where the carriages and freight wagons used by the company itself, not including wagons used by private companies such as mines, factories or orchards, are built. Inside workers and crafts ponies were building a set of sleek, metal-bodied carriages; sheets of lightweight metal were being placed over wooden frames. Due to the high speeds Falcon was expecting to reach during the run, we were constructing new, high speed streamlined carriages, which I’d designed based off of coaches that Falcon would have hauled at some point, with the interior of the saloons reflecting that of earths most modern high speed train, though some of it was a reminiscence of some of the great American and British “named trains”, the rear of the train had a streamlined observation car, or “beaver tail” as they used to be called, with sleek double decker “dome cars” placed towards the middle of the train. the Kitchen cars acted as a divide of sorts between First and Second class, and were directly in the middle of the train
“Well, it seems things are coming along nicely” I noted. Up near the front of the train was the most complete of the carriages, I climbed inside to see a familiar white unicorn with electric-blue mane and tail tapping away at the keyboard of a computer. This coach was being built as a measurement coach, and as Vinyl was literally the only pony I knew that could pass as an electrician within a million miles of here, I’d asked her to help out. I’d managed to get hold of some of the computers in the containers down in the vault and had modified their operating system, with the help of Twilight and vinyl, to work in the Equestrian language, rather than English, it took several days of sleepless night, but we’d managed to pull it off, I’d also managed to set up measurement devises which monitored things like the power of the locomotive, the speed of the coach to the nearest millisecond, and a few other sensors that monitored ride quality.
“How are things going?” I asked.
“if this train will be anything like you say it is, then like that” she said “I’m just not used to anything this advanced”
“I trust you aren’t having too much difficulty” I said.
“[Are you shitting me?]” She asked in English, with a thick accent “I may just have to borrow a couple of these for producing music”
“You’ve be learning English” I noted.
“You can thank Twilight for that” she said, tapping away at the keyboard “that mare is practically fluent in your language”
“She’s done better than me” I said, all I’d given here was a dictionary that I’d cross translated with the words I knew, next thing I knew she’d knocked on my door and sprung up a conversation in English. The Equestrians certainly have an interesting accent, like German but with an odd twang I couldn’t place. “There are still much I haven’t learned”
“You’re doing well for somepony who could hold a conversation within a four weeks” she retorted “and it’s is, not are”
“Not helping”
“Gotta learn somehow” Vinyl said, still tapping away at the keyboard, before finally pressing the enter key and turning around “Okay, the computers are set up, the rest of the coaches just need finishing and this train is good to go”
A while later I found myself walking through canterlot castle, they were making preparations for tonight’s event, but I was looking for one person in particular, or I should say pony. I found her in a large hall, overseeing preparations.
“Princess” I greeted, giving a small bow.
“What can I do for you, Luke?” she asked.
“I was wondering if you could help me out a little” I said, she gestured for me to continue “I recently discovered a number of my world’s locomotives hidden in the Everfree forest, there currently stored at canterlot works, but we can’t convert them to your countries track gauge and I want somewhere for them to run”
“What were you thinking?” she asked. I lead her over to a table, before pulling out a copy of a map of Ponyville that I had acquired, I then pulled out a pen and marked a cross past the point where the path to the Everfree forest forked off, past the landmark titled “clock tower”
“Well, my house is here” I said, before marking an X at the station “And the station is here, I was thinking of building a strategically planned out tramline that linked the two, but also gave the town its own transportation system” After a pause Celestia spoke
“Go on”
“Just behind my house is a large open field, which isn’t depicted on the map, the treeline is actually a couple hundred feet back from the path where my house is” I said “I was thinking of setting up a roundhouse behind my house and use that as the museum-slash-shed for storing and maintain the engines and rolling stock”
“So Ponyville gets a transportation system, and you get a museum for these engines of yours” she said, I nodded.
“I also noticed that according to this map there’s an ancient castle, I was wondering if this is actually under restoration” Celestia shook her head “then that’s another thing, this railway could provide a safe link to that castle, allowing work to start on it”
But where would you acquire the stone for such a restoration?” she asked. I began drawing various lines through the forest.
“I’ve noticed there are mountains in the direction of the forest, so we set up multiple quarries and mines throughout, mining for various resources that will benefit both Ponyville and Equestria as a whole” Celestia smiled.
“You seem to have really thought this out” she said.
“Whilst I haven’t worked out every last kink in the plan, I like to think it’s pretty good for something I came up with in the last hour” I said, rolling up the map “Though I’d withhold contacting the ENR management on the matter until I get back from the test run”
“Very well then” she said
The night sky above canterlot was particularly glorious as I walked through the city towards the castle, I’d been invited to a formal event at the castle called the grand galloping Gala. One thing about Equestria that I preferred over earth was the night sky, it was like those photos you can find of the internet when you search up “night sky”. I’d made sure to put on my very best clothes, I’d even convinced Twilight to let me borrow a top hat deserving of my apparent status, back on earth in the 18 hundreds the status of a man was depicted by the size of his top hat. T e=he same applied here, and individuals such as mechanical engineers were pretty high up, though I had yet to “mingle”. I’d also managed to dig out a walking stick
I made my way up the steps leading to the entrance, there were ponies making their way in, each one being announced by a doorpony with a trumpet. I waited a moment to make sure there was no one else waiting to enter before approaching. I showed my invitation to the door pony and he blasted on a trumpet.
“Announcing the assistant mechanical engineer of the Equestrian National Railroad…Luke Vasington!” my eye twitched as he mispronounced my name, but I quickly shook the feeling off and entered the foyer. The first thing that struck me was the various ponies muttered and glancing my way.
“Good evening everyone” I called “I admit my form is something odd to you all, but I’m simply here to socialise like the rest of you.” That seemed to put them at ease and they went back to their own little conversations, I nodded to Princess Celestia ad Twilight before I followed the red carpet and found myself entering a large hall. Inside all sorts of upper-class ponies were milling about talking about this and that in small groups, I knew that Emerald was meant to be here tonight so I grabbed a glass of what looked, smelled, and tasted like Irish cream from a butler as they walked past with a tray held in their magic aura. I sipped it every so often as I searched for her, I never liked big social events, but the fact I was invited by loyalty, coupled with the fact I needed to get in the nobles graces if I was to succeed as Assistant CME meant I was compelled to attend. Plus I felt the need to prove that someone who was essentially country boy could socialise with high society just as well as the next sapient life form.
I spotted Emerald talking with a white stallion with a blue mane, I got the feeling I’d seen him before on my walks to and from Canterlot station but I don’t remember ever actually meeting him in person. I walked over and Emerald noticed me.
“Oh, Luke” she said in surprise “This is Fancy Pants. Fancy Pants, this is my new assistant at Canterlot works”
“I don’t believe we’ve ever met” the stallion said, regarding me with mild curiosity.
“We haven’t” I said, holding a hand out, which he promptly shook with a forehoof “I’m the one responsible for the changes that are soon to sweep the railway network”
“You must have quite the intellect then, good chap”
“I cannot claim full responsibility for these ideas” I said “I’m simply…how do you say?…sort of like a carer”
“Custodian?” Emerald asked I snapped my fingers.
“That works” I said “You’ll have to forgive me, Fancy Pants, Equestrian isn’t my mother-tongue”
“No problem at all” he said “I must say you are rather well spoken for somepony who only speaks Equestrian as a second language”
“It is difficult at times, sometimes my accent will slip and I’ll talk like this” I said, adding a more British sounding inflection to their language.
“You certainly have an intriguing accent” He said, before putting his hoof to his chin in thought “One I can’t say I’ve ever heard”
“I’m not surprised” I said “The total number of individuals on this planet that speak this language including me is two”
“And who would the other individual be?” He asked “a mate or a relation perhaps?” I chuckled.
“I wish” I said “But no, the only other person that can speak English is Twilight Sparkle, and I’m the only one who speaks it naturally, I’m unique”
“Well, I certainly hope you the best” he said, before turning to Emerald “I’m afraid I must leave you now” Emerald nodded and Fancy Pants promptly walked off into the crowd.
“You’ve made a good impression on him” Emerald said, as we watched him disappear into the crowd “Fancy pants has a considerable amount of political power amongst the nobles of Canterlot” she then leaned in and whispered “and if you ask me he’s one of the few who isn’t a self-obsessed stuck-up ponce out only for themselves”
“Believe me, I know” I said. at that moment I noticed Twilight walking towards us “Good evening, your majesty”
“[Luke, it is good to see you tonight]” she said in English, she had a thick accent, but it was understandable
“[you’re getting there]” I said “[though you sound a little too formal and wooden]”
“[I still have much to learn]” she responded.
“[True]” I admitted “[you still learnt English faster than I learnt Equestrian]”
“[Our languages share a lot of features, such as the sentence structure]” she said “[some words could also be classed as loan words]”
“I’m sorry” Emerald interjected “But I have no idea what you two are saying”
“We are conversing in my language” I said “In truth it is good to be able to converse in my first language”
“So, Luke” Twilight said “how has working on the railway been?”
*Flashback*
I’d just returned to Canterlot shed after firing on a pick up goods from the outer suburbs of Canterlot to the city center. This was what my job as an engineman involved; a suburban passenger here, a goods train there, I’d be doing the firing until Autumn, one of the senior crewmembers at “top shed”, felt I was ready to progress to firing on expresses and long distance freights, before moving on to driving. Canterlot shed, or “top Shed as it was known by the railway ponies, was one of the largest sheds on the network, rivalled only by the likes of Manehatten, Dodge City, The Crystal Empire, Vanhoover, Las Pegasus, Fillydelphia and Baltimare. I drew the “Four hoofer” 2-6-0 onto the turntable whilst the driver went to clock us in and note down working times, load taken and any problems with the locomotive or route that might have occurred during the journey. As I signalled to the Turntable operator to turn the engine around there was a loud commotion. I walked across the cab and looked out to see one of the 0-4-0 shunters arse up in the turntable well. I sighed in annoyance, it was most likely one of the new engine ponies. Before I had the chance to give the driver a bollocking I heard wing beats and looked over to see Autumn flying over, red in the face with rage. She landed next to the engine and dragged the dazed driver out.
“Wha' t' fuk eur theur lakin' a'!?” she thundered, her southern Griffish isle accent coming out extremely thick. “Did theur av permission ta proceed ontoa t' turntable!? Theur dooant even need ta use t' turntable, Thas eur fookin' shunta, theur daft cunt!” the earth pony cowered, shaking with fear. Even I felt intimidated, despite the fact I didn’t understand a single word of what she said.
*end flashback*
“…it’s…interesting” I said “some days I wake up at 6 in the morning and wonder what the hell I’m doing, but it’s the days when I’ve got perfect weather, a route with beautiful scenery and a well maintained engine that I look forward to.” At that moment a blue & spectrum blur filled my vision. Said blur tured out to be the last pony I had been wanting to meet.
“And just what do you think you’re doing here!?” Rainbow Dash said, jabbing my chest with her hoof and ignoring Twilight’s protests
“I happen to be invited as a guest” I said, brushing her hoof away “unlike other individuals I don’t just go barging into events” Emerald snickered at that.
“You actually speak Equestrian!?” she asked in surprise.
“yes” I said crossing my arms “I wouldn’t get very far if I didn’t bother to learn the language now would I?”
“Whatever” she said “I still don’t trust you” she jabbed me in the chest again, once again I brushed her hoof away.
“Don’t touch me again” I said.
“Or what?” she asked, getting in my face and once again ignoring Twilight, who was at this point trying to pull her away with her magic without trying to attract too much attention
“Or I will seriously make you regret it” I growled, before lowering my voice “because unlike your fellow ponies I will not hesitate to rip your leg off and shove it so far up your arse you’ll be coughing up hoof shavings for months” this was just a bluff in an attempt to make her back off, more than any real threat. She baulked at that and I took the opportunity to back away.
“W…well you’re a freak” she stammered out, trying to save face. I chuckled and looked back towards her over my shoulder.
“Bitch, I’m the apex predator on my planet” I said, I shook my head and began to walk towards the balcony “besides, I’m not the one with the ridiculous hair” as I got to the door I heard Emerald shout and I barely had to turn to look before something hit me I the back…hard. I flew forward and hit the balcony wall with an Audible thud, I also heard a crack and felt pain shoot through my chest.
“Say that one more time”
“You…Bitch” I gasped out, clutching my chest
“What’s the matter?” she scoffed “can’t insult ponies to their face?” she then walked back inside, I struggled to get into a more comfortable position.
“Shit, I should know better than to go picking fights ” I winced in pain as something shifted that shouldn’t “especially if I’m at an event that can drastically impact the public’s perception of me, I’ve probably got a broken rib or two ”
“Luke?” I heard Emerald call.
“Here” I gasped out. Emerald looked over and gasped.
“What in the name of Celestia happened to you!?” she exclaimed.
“Take…a…” I began to gasp out.
“save your breath” she said “I’m sorry I have to do this”
“wha…?” she then levelled her horn at me and a bolt of magic hit me in the head, my vision then went black.
I awoke feeling a dull pain and opened my eyes to find myself in a hospital room, at least there was one thing that was similar to earth.
“What happened” I croaked out in English, immediately regretting my decision to speak as pain shot through my chest, causing me to hiss in pain and clench my eyes shut, as if my lack of vision would cause the pain to magically go away.
“Luke” I heard Emerald say, followed by hooves clicking on tiles, I felt a hoof gently touch my left shoulder “You need to rest, you have cracked ribs, a sprained ankle and a broken collar bone”
“Damn it” I muttered, barely above a whisper “how long was I out?”
“a week” she said “you’ve been under a medical anaesthetic as the doctors weren’t sure if you would react badly to magic”
“And Falcon ?”
“The locomotive is built, and is soon going to undergo running-in tests, the train itself will be another two weeks at least, it’ll then be leaving for Manehatten in time for the Manehatten exhibition”
“well at least there’s still chance for me to see it in steam” I chuckled, before wincing slightly.
“What is it?”
“It’s funny, I never got to see my world’s version of the J3 in steam, but on this world I helped to build it” Emerald snorted and rolled her eyes. We were both startled by a commotion outside the door and looked over to see a very irate Autumn storm in.
“Alreight, which bitch 'ospitalised 'un o' uz drivers!?” she thundered “Ah swear ta celestieur ah'm gonneur leev 'em eytin art o' eur straw!”
“Autumn!” Emerald chastised “he has only just woken up”
“Ah don't gi' eur rubbish, theur fru-fru bitch.” she barked, Emerald visibly shrunk, Autumn sighed before walking to the other side of the bed “Wor it 'a' Vinyl Scratch?”
“I can’t understand a word your saying” I whispered. “Speak clearly, please”
“Was it Vinyl Scratch?” she asked.
“No, Vinyl was one of my first friends here” I croaked out. “She’s not the type to do this”
“Then who was it?” I heard a knock at the door and we looked over to see the one that put me in this condition to begin with, along with Twilight.
“I don’t know what you’re doing here, Rainbow Dash” I said, speaking as loud as a dare. “Especially after what you did to me” Autumn rounded on the sky blue Pegasus.
“Sa thas t' cunt whoa 'ospitalised 'un o' uz drivers!?” she roared.
“wha...”
“Shut it! Naw ah dooant care 'a' thas 'un o' t' elements o' 'armony, ah av everee reet ta tie theur up 'n leev theur liggin' across t' tracks li' um clique!”
“Autumn!” I shouted, causing me to hiss in pain, the burnt-orange Pegasus turned to me “Please, just…now is not the time” Autumn snorted, before stepping back and leaning against the wall with a thoroughly pissed off expression marring her features. Rainbow hesitantly stepped into the room.
“Ah'm watchin theur” Autumn growled to Rainbow as she and Twilight entered, Rainbow’s ears snapped down. She nodded to Twilight as she passed “Thy 'ighness” her voice held no emotion towards the princess, merely an acknowledgment of here presence. Once they had passed, she left the room and I just caught a glimpse of here sitting down outside the door before it shut. Both Twilight and Rainbow stood awkwardly at the edge of the bed. Eventually Twilight spoke up.
“Well” she said. “Moving on, I think Rainbow has something to say to you”
“I’m sorry” the mare mumbled. “for breaking into your house…and for putting you in here” I didn’t answer straight away, eventually I sighed, sending a dull throb through my chest, but I could handle it.
“I’m not sure how long it will take for me to fully accept your apology” I said “but I understand that you’re sincere about it, come find me when I’ve fully recovered and I’ll tell you if I’ve accepted your apology” Rainbow Dash sighed before turning to leave the room.
“I guess I’ll be seeing you at some point,” Twilight said “I obtained the key to your home and one of my friends is currently looking after your pet wolf” I let out a small sigh of relief
“Well dis is just girt” Autumn said “We needed theur for runnin falcon ta Manehatten”
“Do you think I intentionally got my ribs broken?” I asked.
“Theur should kna betta than ta pick fights” she retorted, rolling her eyes, she then sat on her Haunches and sighed “Who's supposed ta dri' 'a naw?”
“What?” I asked.
“I said, who’s supposed to drive her now?”
“Why not you?” I asked.
“Why t' blazes 'ood theur pick uz!?” she asked in surprise.
“You’re older and you actually have experience on the eastern road” I said “plus you’re perfect for what I have in mind”
“What do you mean?” Emerald asked.
“I’ve been looking on a route map and there was one section that caught my eye” I said “roughly 90 miles from Canterlot” Autumn baulked.
“Yoke bank?” she asked, before laughing “Theur can't be serious”
“Look, where I come from there was a bank with a very similar name” I said “The railway used to use it to set records”
“What are you saying?” she asked.
“We take Falcon down there we’ll go at least 140 mile per hour” I said.
“The thing isn’t even built and you want to set a speed record?” Emerald asked “You humans certainly have an obsession with speed” I chuckled.
“[My species didn’t get to the moon by crawling]” I muttered in English.
“You say something?” Emerald asked.
“Thinking aloud” I said “There’s one thing we’ll need to keep an eye on when she runs”
“Wha’s tha’?” Autumn asked.
“The inside cylinders” I said “There used to be a problem with the way the valves worked causing the inside cylinder to overheat under lack of maintenance, it’s why I designed air vents into the casing. The way the valves are arraigned on this should solve the problem…”
“But it’s best to keep both ears up?” Emerald guessed.
“Huh?”
“means to keep watch of something” she explained.
“Ah, we’d say keep an eye open”
“Makes sense” she said “with ears like that you’d rely more on your eyes”
“Ahl mek sure not ta run 'a tooa 'ard” Autumn said with a hint of a smirk.
The next Day I was released from Hospital, for the time being I would be staying at Emeralds house in the guest room, so as to make traveling between to the works easier, at least I wouldn’t have to set off at the equivalent of 4 in the morning just to get to work on time. That often included working a run from Ponyville to Canterlot on either a suburban or a freight train.
“Well” I said, attempting to hide my current discomfort as I walked along with a rucksack on my back and using a walking stick. We’d had to head back to my house to pick up some changes of clothes and Sam, and my chest and ankle were killing me “at least I can sleep in”
“Don’t think that just because you cracked your ribs I’ll let you slouch around in my home” she said, before glancing at Sam “And you’ll be the one picking up after him at the least”
“don’t think I’m just going to laze around” I said “I was merely saying it’ll be good to get a rest”
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that” Emerald said, smirking.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“You’ll see” she sang. I muttered and cursed in English, partially from the discomfort, partially from my annoyance at Emerald’s vagueness coupled with the stares I was getting from the ponies of Canterlot.
“Tight-arsed, stuck up twats, the lot of them ” I mentally seethed, glancing at the social elite regarding me as one might regard a particularly curious creepy-crawly in the bug exhibit of a zoo.
“Ignore them” Emerald said, following my gaze and noting my sour expression. I clicked my tongue in frustration before focusing on the architecture in an attempt to distract myself from their stares. It was like nothing back home in north east England. Whereas Ponyville had a style akin to the Tudor-era, this was a mish-mash of various styles, but all the buildings shared the same flowing rounded look.
“Well at least the J3s will fit in” I said.
“What?” Emerald asked.
“The styling” I said “It’s very flowing, much like the casing on Falcon, yes?” she stopped and tapped her chin in thought.
“I suppose” she said, before continuing “But on falcon it’s a little different”
“How so?” I asked.
“It’s a lot more subtle compared to this” she gestured to the architecture as she said this.
“Of course it is, your architecture is about as subtle as a bull in a [china] shop” I said “I still want to know who decided on the livery for the locomotives, call me minimalistic but they are downright garish”
“That would be me” she said, giving me a level look “The livery changes with each designer”
“But love hearts on the cowcatcher?” I asked incredulously.
“A simple conversion” she said with a shrug “And that was for one service”
“Ah, your ‘Friendship Express’” I said.
“Like you could do any better” she said.
“‘11th Century limited’, ‘The Canterlot flyer’, ‘The Griffonian’, ‘The Manehatten Streak’, ‘The Fillydephia Flyer’, ‘The Empire Voyager’, Those are all one’s I’ve come up with on the spot, need I go on?” I asked.
“No, I get the picture” she said, turning down a side street “But I still get to design the engines for the line to Griffinstone, I’m thinking a 2-10-0”
“Of course” I said “but take my advice on that line”
“Yes?”
“use Inclined cylinders” I said “fantastic for sheer power, not to mention they climb hills like a mountain goat”
“Including 20 miles of 1 in 300?” she asked.
“Is that all?” I asked “with the power we could make it produce it’ll manage 1 in 37”
“I’ll take your word for it” she said, before stopping outside a house, she then flashed me a grin with her teeth exposed, taking me by surprise. “Don’t do that, we don’t have [something] like you do” I took the hint, my teeth had caused problems in the past, like when I scared a young pony away simply by smiling. It was one of the cultural differences I’d never be able to fully get used to, because of the ponies being a herbivorous species, when I flashed my teeth, I may as well have been a snarling beast to them.
“Understood” I said “but might I ask why you’re telling me this now?” she didn’t answer, simply walked up to the door and opened it, before gesturing for me to follow inside, I did so, remembering to duck to get through the doorway. Think of Gandalf inside Bilbo Baggins house and that’s what it’s like for me.
“Your room is just down the hallway” she said, standing to one side and gesturing with a hoof. “Drink?”
“Yes, please” I said. As I shuffled into the guest room she pointed out, she went to go pour a couple of drinks. I examined the room I would be staying in for however long it too for me to heal properly, it was as one would imagine a typical guest room to be, the bare essentials with a few creature comforts here and there, such as a small book case in one corner. I placed my belonging neatly in one corner to be sorted out later before making my way into what I assumed was the living room. I was taken aback by the lack of T.V., then I shook my head and promptly slapped myself in the forehead. “Of course there isn’t any T.V, Idiot” I made myself comfortable on one of the armchairs and shortly Emerald walked in with a familiar cream-coloured liquid in a couple of whiskey glasses. She offered one to me.
“A bit early for Alcohol” I said, taking the glass all the same, I took a drink and sipped it, it was similar to cream liqueur, but with a honey-like aftertaste
“It should help dull the pain” she said, sitting in one of the chairs and taking a sip of her own drink “besides, you should be celebrating, it’s not every day a designer sees their first creation completed, we’ll be going later today to see her steam it up for the first time”
“In that case then” I said, tilting the glass towards her “[cheers]” at that moment I heard the door open.
“Mom, I’m home!” a young, female voice called, I looked at Emerald in surprise and she just shrugged before mouthing “[later]” in English, something she’d picked up from me.
“In here” Emerald called. “we have a guest who will be staying for a while” through the doorframe stepped a light green Pegasus with blue hair, she looked and sounded younger than ten, maybe eight if I had to guess. She saw me and stared in shock, before letting out a scream.
Emerald rolled her eyes before promptly shutting the filly’s mouth with her magic, leaving her slightly stunned
“Now now, Summer, no need to be rude,” she said, releasing the mouth of the filly, apparently named Summer, meanwhile I was rubbing my ear in an attempt to stop the ringing “Luke here is our guest”
“Hi” I said, trying to break the ice.
“W-what are you?” Summer asked nervously.
“Summer!” Emerald chastised.
“No, it’s fine” I said, giving a soft smile “I’m a Human, don’t worry, I won’t bite”
“Why are you going to be staying here?” she asked.
“I’ve been injured” I explained “I’ll be staying here whilst I heal, so I can travel to where I work easier”
“And…where do you work?” She asked.
“He’s my assistant” Emerald cut in “when he’s not trackside”
“Mum, one of my friends is having a sleepover” Summer said “am I ok to go?”
“That’s fine” she said, just make sure your asleep by a reasonable time” the filly beamed before walking towards Emerald and giving her a hug, she then pulled away and headed towards the door
“Thank you, I’ll be back tomorrow” she said, before turning to me “It was…nice meeting you, Luke” and with that, she left the house.
“You never said you had a child.” I said.
“I never felt the need to” Emerald said “And you never asked”
“which begs the question” I said “If you’re the mother, where’s the-?”
“Not present” she replied, somewhat tersely “He up and left the moment he found out that I was pregnant, the both of us ended up better off without him” that was a touchy subject, it seemed, I’d have to avoid it in future.
“Well” I said “for what it’s worth, she seems like a nice kid”
A short while later we were leaving the house to visit Canterlot works, now that I wasn’t carrying all of that stuff I could walk somewhat painlessly.
“Are you ok?” Emerald asked.
“Yeah, I should be fine so long as I don’t push myself” I said “It’ll be good to see here complete”
“Not quite.” she said “She’s in a grey livery to begin with, and won’t get her livery or the number you specified until she performs to the management’s satisfaction tomorrow” I frowned.
“I was hoping to see her in blue” I said.
“You will” Emerald chuckled as we entered the works “just be patient, if this locomotive is as good as you say it is, then you have nothing to worry about.” We entered the main hall and my breath was taken away from me. Sat on the turntable in the center of the works, simmering gently, was Falcor herself, the first of the J3/1s. She was quite the sight at 15 foot high and 10 foot wide, with 2 leading wheels on a swivelling bogie, or truck, six 6ft 8” driving wheels, and, a first for this railway, 2 trailing wheels. These were attached directly to the frame via something called a Cartazzi truck, which allowed side-to-side and up-and-down movement, but no swivelling motions, this gave a much smoother ride and helped to eliminate fishtailing caused by the cylinders. I had taken heed of the drawbacks of its basis, the LNER A4, for instance, the side valances covering the wheels were hinged to allow easy access to the valve gear for lubrication. The arraignment of valve motion had been a problem as well, so this engine followed the example of later classes by having three independent sets of valve gear, and there was an air vent built into the lower casing at the front that directed air towards the inside cylinder.
The Streamlined casing itself was similar to that of the A4, but not identical. Given the difference in design practices and safety standards I eventually had to concede and as such there was no buffer and chain system, simply a buckeye coupler as used in America. Nevertheless, this also gave me an opportunity, instead of being totally slab-sided the front was more rounded like one would find on American streamliners and extended down to rail level, rather than stopping at the buffer beam. The vent leading to the cylinder could be seen in the form of a grill that blended into the casing. The Cab was slightly wider, giving a better view of the line ahead, with it blending seamlessly into the design. The tender was like a cross between British and American designs, with the profile following the original 4000-gallon corridor tender design, but to American practice; 25 tons of coal, 25,000 gallons of water, mounted on swivelling trucks, this was built to go fast and go far.
At the front of the loco, in front of the chimney, were two shiny brass whistles, the bell was mounted in the frames out of sight, but I had been told it was still loud enough to hear, so it was fine. One feature that was totally unique were the four, large headlights built into the casing on the front to the locomotive, one up top with three in line just above the coupler, making an upside down T-shape, these would be used to not only light the track ahead but also indicate the train being pulled to the signal ponies.
On the side of the Tender the words “Reite Usserrigeonal Reilenbehn” or “Equestrian National Railway” in the native language, painted in a plain font, with the number 651 painted on the cab side. The nameplates were a somewhat less Spartan affair; they were mounted on the smokebox area, with the word “Falcor”, the Equestrian word for falcon, embossed on it, cast into the nameplate above the word Falco was a casting depicting a Falcon in flight pointing towards the smokebox as if flying alongside the locomotive. Originally the locomotive was going to be named Falcon in English, but Emerald and the RUR management had advised otherwise, and so it was named in Equestrian. Naming discrepancies aside, it gave an impression of speed despite the fact the entire locomotive was currently painted in a dull grey colour.
“Well” Said an all-to familiar voice “theur certainly proved 'un thin’” Autumn Skies trotted up next to us, a smirk on her face
“And what would that be?” I asked, not knowing whether to expect a compliment or an insult.
“'a ta rip t' locomoti' design buk t' shreds.” she said, before laughing.
“You’re a natural comedian” I deadpanned.
“Bur seriously” she said “It’s eur fine lookin engine, t' wheels are eur bit gurt lookin, though”
“you may laugh” I said, walking towards the engine “but one of these will manage 400 tones easily whilst averaging 90 miles per hour” this time it was Autumn’s turn to deadpan
“Dooant be rediculous.” She said.
“Isn’t that somewhat overstating this engines capabilities?” Emerald asked.
“If anything” I said, grunting in no small amount of discomfort as I climbed into the cab of the engine, only to nod in thanks to Emerald when I felt her supporting me with her magic. “I’m understating its capabilities, there were non-streamlined developments of this design that could pull 500 tons and go 150,000 miles between overhauls”
“Get out” Autumn said in amazement, taking flight ad landing in the cab, she looked around and nodded in approval “Spacious”.
“Enough room to swing a cat” I said. the ponies just stared at me.
“Why would you want to swing a cat around?” Emerald asked.
“It’s a saying” I said, sighing in frustration “Anyway, there is a preference on crew comfort, all driving controls are within easy reach, and you get racing bucket seats as standard” Autumn gave off a low whistle before walking over to the drivers seat and climbing up to sit in the seat.
“Its rather high up” she noted.
“It’s adjustable” I said, before pointing to a foot operated paddle below the seat. “You use that to adjust the height” Suddenly we all heard a pony call over.
“Oi, Autumn!” they called, walking over “Yard manager says he wants this out of the works and on shed ready for tomorrow”
“Will do!” Autumn called “Looks like you’ll get to see it move after all”
“As you were, then” I said siting down in the fireman’s seat, Autumn gave a quick toot on the chime whistle, before opening the cylinder cocks, dropping it into full forward, releasing the brakes and slowly easing the regulator back. A cloud of steam billowed out in front with a hiss as the 120-ton leviathan of a loco eased forward. As we slowly puffed out into the yard Autumn gave a long hard blast on the chime whistle before pulling back on the regulator and quickly accelerating to the yard limit of 15 mph. the rapid acceleration practically launched Emerald into the tender Bulkhead.
“Sorry” Autumn said absentmindedly.
“No you’re not” Emerald retorted, picking herself up.
“I need you to switch those points up ahead” Autumn said, bringing the loco to a stop.
“Me?” Emerald asked in surprise.
“Well luke can’t exactly do it, now can he?” the pegasus retorted, and I snorted at that “Number six road, if you please” Emerald climbed down and I soon heard a succession of clangs and she quickly made her way back up. Autumn quickly drove the loco into the shed, amongst awestruck workers, and put the brakes on to full before applying the handbrake.
“So” she said, climbing down to join us beside the loco “who wants to join me for a pint before I head out on my next trip?”
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