"I wanna go somewhere nice tonight." I said mostly to myself while I sat at the dining table in the grand dining hall of Canterlot Castle. Geez...Now that I think about it, it's such a long name for a place to eat, but who am I to argue that names need to be shorter? My fullest name is Christopher Donald Robins of the house of...something. I know my mom said our family used to be a part of a noble house a long time ago.

Celestia looked over to me, which wasn't very far, just the chair next to her actually. "Oh?"

I gave a slight shrug, not even I was sure what I really wanted to do. It's been over two weeks since I left the hospital. My head still hurt, but the dull headaches were going away now. Only when my blood pressure was up now would I want to break my head open to end the pain. "Yeah, it's nice eating this great food an all, but I'm feeling kinda cramped." I replied, taking a bite of nice chewy medium-rare steak. I liked this griffin chef they had, she knew how to make some good meat. As soon as I swallowed, I explained more. "It'd be nice to also have some time to talk to you in a more private setting, if you wouldn't mind."

I saw a faint hint of a blush. She looked away, towards a window made of colorful stained glass. In the one she was looking in was a picture of Luna as a smaller pony, maybe a filly perhaps. "Well...today is Sunday. I have a day off today from all duties. Luna gets Saturdays."

"YES!" Luna pumped her hoof. "Another day were we punish Button Mash for beating our high score on Grand Buck Auto."

I slapped my forehead. "He should not be playing that game. How old is this kid anyways?"

"Eight." She replied, making my head hit the edge of my plate. The steak was flung across the room, hitting a poor guard on his horn.

I chuckled after I saw him trying to struggle getting the hunk of meat off of his horn. "Look who invented the shish kebab!" I heard Luna snort and burst into laughter while Celestia kept trying to stifle her laughs. "Anyways...What place sounds good?"

"Well, in pony culture these days, it is the mare who takes the stallion out correct?" Luna asked her sister. "Perhaps you should take him to Stars Above. They're five stars and dirt cheep."

Celestia rolled her eyes. "While you're correct Luna, they were also a part of a scandal I don't think I should be another part of. There's a nice place I know about, and have gone a few times before. I knew three of its former owners, who've all passed on. I'm sure they'll be grateful of another visit from the crown." She rubbed her hoof and nodded. "Yes, it is called Grand Polos. Run by a Minotaur by the name of Bull Head the Great Chef."

"Sounds nice." I noted. "What do they serve?"

"Anything you'd like."

"Even brains?" I joked.

"Fresh from South Equestria, right from the hydra."

Okay...That made my stomach do a U-turn in six different directions. I leaned back over the table and shuddered. "Oh...that's nasty...I was trying to make a joke..."

"Well, I was joking as well." Celestia giggled. "They aren't from hydras at all." I sighed, but got the feeling there was a but in there somewhere. "They're from mindless goats."

I stood up walking out the door. "Bathroom is down the hall and to left, second door down is the colt's room!" Celestia called out. I waved a hand as I was ready to spew my yummy steak right back up.

Luna snickered as she shifted in her seat. "You disgusted him. I find goat brains quite appetizing, but only once in a while." She confessed.

Celestia shook her head. "I only wanted him out of here for a moment." Luna's brow was raised and her snickering stopped. "He want's to go out on a date. I am unsure how I feel about that."

"Cadence and I both told you he'd try to love you." She replied before taking a sip of her cream soda. "I find it nice he is trying to properly court you before finishing off with a nice buck."

She felt herself snort, and Celestia gave a stern glare at Luna. "You were angry the moment you found out I was carrying his foal. Now you are speaking of him screwing me silly."

"You're thinking it too. Don't think I don't see those dreams of yours sister. They are very hard to ignore." Luna tried her hardest to hind her blush, mostly because it made her face look like a grape. "Your old self-"

"SHE IS NOT ME!" Celestia nearly snarled at her sister. "That mare was a young lustful mare. She wanted to know the kinks of life."

"More than just 'kinks' if you ask me."

Celestia huffed in annoyance. "Good thing I'm not asking you." She replied.

"Did I walk in at a bad time?" Chris ask, just walking in the last part of the conversation. Celestia shook her head and sighed. "No, we just had a spat.

"Sounded like more than a spat to me? What were you two talking about anyways?"

"Just a dream I had." Celestia replied with her half truth. "Never mind that, are you still up for a little time out in my lovely city?"

"Don't see why not, but I gotta find something other than these rags I've been wearing."

"We could simply transmute those you have on you now."

"Bet that's handy huh?" He asked, looking over at Luna. "You got a problem with me going with your sister?"

Luna shook her head, but couldn't help herself from smiling. "Thank you for asking though."

A few more hours passed by, now much later in the day. The sun was looking tired, but Celestia was wide awake it seemed. She had put on a white dress with a few blue gemstones embedded into the fabric of the dress. She looked pretty good in my opinion, even more so now since her dress seemed to reflect a bit of the orange glow of the sun, capturing her figure nicely. Wow do I sound like my friend Jacob. He had this thing with clothes. Rarity was second next to Jacob who seemed to know everything about how a dress can make an ugly skank look like she hit the jackpot with God's golden frying pan.

I was dressed in a simple tux. Nothing over the top, just a nice silver tux with a blue shirt to help match with Celestia's blue stones. I was asked if I wanted a tie, but refused on the counts of not remembering how to tie a winzer knot, or even a half-winzer knot. A bow tie was also an option, but I refused because only one man could wear a bow tie and get away with it.

"You're quiet again Chris." Celestia chided gently. "Am I that beautiful?"

"Just thinking on how we pair so nicely. I didn't know you liked wearing dresses."

"Normally I don't like wearing dresses, but it seemed fitting that we looked our best." She answered. "If I may be honest, I would rather wear nothing, but the regalia is for show."

I chuckled and waved a hand. "No worries. I hate dressing up just as much as you do I believe."

So pretty much the rest of the walk was quiet. A few more words were spoke, but it left us time to think I bet. I loved thinking, but sometimes I would overthink everything and it would screw me over, but other times it helped me realize just how much I loved thinking, planning and whatnot.

When we got to the restaurant, I saw my first Griffin. Surprised to say that they simply looked badass, and a bit like the Griffin you'd see in Harry Pothead. Celestia spoke a little bit to the Griffin. It went in with a...smile? Yeah, I'll go with that, I mean, the edge of its beak was perked up by its cheeks. A little while later a large Minotaur stepped through the set of double doors. He was tall, at least two feet taller than I was. First he saw her, smiled and took a bow, but that's when he saw me. Running up, he picked me up and held me tightly in his long strong arms, nearly crushing my spine and ribs.

"GAH!" I shouted in pain as I felt every part of my spine snap and pop. He set me down, but I felt a lot better from my back popping like it had. "Good....god....that felt painful but good."

"Forerunner! I welcome you to my humble establishment!"

"Forerunner?" Celestia asked. "I have never heard that term before. What does it mean?"

"Forerunner, you are a sight for sore eyes. You have been gone for so many years, it is good to finally see an ancestor of the Minos."

"Ancestor?- OH! OOOOooohhhhhh! Right, now I remember."

"Do tell." Celestia said, feeling annoyed her question wasn't answered.

"There was a god called Poseidon. He punished a king for being cruel to his people by making the king's wife mate with a bull. The story goes is that she took a bath in cow piss then went into a costume made to look like a cow. With her smelling and looking like a cow, the bull mated with her and made his kind." I answered, feeling rather smart now. I knew something Celestia didn't. "It was an old tale back on earth, mythology really, but I suppose it's no longer a myth eh?" I asked while looking more towards the Minotaur I guessed was Bull Head.

He nodded. "Yes, the first Minotaur was sent here to breed and make us lesser Minos. Still, I am glad that I am the first of my kind to see a human." Bull clapped his hands and turned his head back to Celestia. "So Princess, what can I do for you?"

"We'd like a table for two please. Somewhere quiet so we'er not flooded with attention."

He smiled at her with a nod. "Of course! We just completed the sky deck. Thanks to my lovely unicorn wife, the project was completed with a wonderful privacy spell. Once you sit down, your whole table with vanish, and only employees can see you."

"Who is your wife?"

"Her name is Triple Trinity."

"I heard of her." Celestia tapped her chin. "She is a level three spell caster, a skilled level three at that. Can we meet her at our table?"

Bull suddenly looked sad and shook his massive head. "Sadly no, she is currently off to see her mother because her father Lancer has passed away."

"Give her my condolences if you'd please?"

"Of course, please follow me."

We were lead through the establishment. It smelled of cooked meat and grilled vegetables. The floors were made of dark oak and were scratch free. The walls were painted a soft red with clean mahogany wood. Several paintings were lined up next to one another, most of them Minotaurs, but one is a Griffin and a couple others were ponies of different races.

Most of the tables here were filled with ponies and Griffins. I saw a black coated pony with sickly green mane sitting in the back with a twisted smile on his face, like it was enjoying its time alone way too much.

"That's a Changeling, and if I am correct, it is a fallen queen of a hive on the other side of Scoltland." Celestia said. "She's very nice, and believes that ponies and Changelings should be at peace with one another."

"But why is she alone?"

"Because she refuses to date, but enjoys watching others date, feeding off their excess love."

"Cool." Was all I could really say, but what else could I say? A shapeshifter if its name didn't give it away, that feeds off of love. I can see a whole lot of problems coming from this, I left that to myself. If Celestia was cool with a queen living here in Canterlot, then I guessed I should be too.

Anyways, we were led up a set of stairs to a second floor, but we went further up past that. I didn't really get a good look because these stairs were steep as fuck, and I was trying not to fall over on my face and bust my nose. As soon as we reached the top, Bull said that we were the only ones who'll be allowed up here because the spell would only be in effect while his wife was there. Celestia gave him her thanks before he said he'd fetch us a waitress.

Celestia and I walked passed a few tables and sat down towards the edge of the building. The view up here was amazing, leaving me in awe while I looked over the rest of Canterlot and most of the lands in Equestria.

"So, tell me more about those myths from your world. You seem quite knowledgeable of those." Celestia asked, giving me a soft smile.

"Eh, well...It's said that pegasi were made from Poseidon."

"Who is he?"

"A god of the seas, or pretty much water itself." I explained. "I forgot were unicorns came from, but I know a few myths that involve them."

"Do tell..."

"Well...there's the tale of the first vampire. A hunter was walking through a forest one day to find himself some food for his family. He walked upon a white horse with a long horn made of silver protruding from its head." I paused to think more. "Some say it was a Count, his name was Dracula. He was hunting too, this was before he became pretty much a demon. Anyways, the hunter fired his bow into the chest of the unicorn and it fell onto the ground. When he approached the unicorn, he saw it wasn't bleeding red blood, but it looked like quicksilver. He dipped his finger into the blood and brought it to his mouth. The hunter found the flavor unlike anything else in his time and began drinking with obsession." Seeing how Celestia looked rather sick I stopped. "I can stop now, if you'd like."

"N-no...continue...I'm alright..." She brought her hoof to her mouth and coughed. "Go on."

"If you say so...The hunter went back to his hut, and saw his family. He smelt more of the unicorn blood on them, or so he thought, and killed his entire family, drinking their blood as well. But his son survived and became Alucard, the first son of Dracula. He wasn't completely a vampire, so he could share the curse the unicorn placed upon his family or those who shared blood is his father. Because he was a victim and willing to kill his father for the curse to be removed, the unicorn blessed him with immunity to the sun, unlike his father."

Right as I finished a mare came up to us with a bottle of wine. "Its the best wine we serve. Straight from Zeborica. Bull says its on the house." She explained, setting the bottle onto the table we sat at. "May I take your orders?"

And she did, returning a half hour later with our meals. While we waited we talked more, not about vampires because even I was feeling a little ill from the story. I wasn't even sure if it was one hundred percent correct, but Celestia didn't need to know that. I think I made it sound a little too bad, but it was also kinda cool and made a little more sense since vampires can't have children.

The rest of the day was spent eating and making small talk. I learned that Celestia was pretty much as old as time itself, and I had called her the biggest milf that could exist. Well....I didn't, say it out loud. I'd rather not get gelded for saying that, because I knew a few people back on earth who would grab rusty sheers to clip my manhood. When night had finally started, I was able to watch Celestia move the sun under the horizon. And of course when she did so, I had claimed it was impossible because it was a massive ball of fiery death, but she didn't seem to give two shits if anything at all. Maybe a shit was given, but even that was a long shot.

Dinner was great. I finally was able to finish my steak without it falling on top of a unicorn's horn, which made me a happy man. But when dinner came to an end, and we were walking back to the castle Celestia felt like she needed to ask just one more question.

"Would you like to sleep in my bed tonight? I doubt a desk is comfortable."

"Well that'd be nice, thank you. And believe it or not, I had a pillow at work because sometimes I would pass out and wake up and it would be time for me to start working again."

She chuckled and shook her head. "You're stranger than I had ever guessed. A love for myths and legends, and a fanatic of technology. A paradox I believe. Stuck in the past, but living in the future."

"Pretty much Tia, pretty much."

Author's Note

WOO! Let it go bitches! Only a month and a half left before the wedding. Will Chris choose to become a pony? Wait like six more chapters and you'll have that answer.