Author's Notes: Short chapter because I was bored. Next chapter is roughly already 2k words, and I haven't ever written the sexy stuff yet. Also, Happy Zombie Jesus Day! (Easter if you didn't know).

Celestia sat on her throne with a bored expression on her face. Her mind was racing, and ignoring the pony complaining about Chris' attitude. The sun was nearly ready to set, her last shift of the week which meant it was going to be Sunday tomorrow. With an internal sigh, she felt ready to just teleport the mare outside of the castle, or maybe off the mountain, let nearby pegasi catch her.

Then again, it was Saturday, pegasi guards were getting ready for the wedding which was now only two weeks away.

Chris' spiritual expenditure and adventure left him a little odd, not quite shaken, but not as laid back as he normally was. It was like he was even tightly wound up like a spring, and it would only be a matter of time before he blew his load again at another pony. Luna wasn't able to peer into his dreams anymore, which was strange to say the least, very few could block her out. It was Luna's idea that it may have been the other Chris hidden deep within Chris' own soul. The part of his soul that refuses to allow him to feel emotional pains or even some physical pains.

At this point, Chris was a machine barely running on broken parts. His left shoulder was broken many years ago, but was never set right due to lack of medical assistance, making it grow like a bridge builder had set the other end off by a few feet from the other end. He would have to rebreak his bone in order to set it right. His foot was broken just before he came to that bar she met him at, that too never healed right. He was always suffering, but never actively spoke up. Chris would always sit on the sidelines, acting like he's okay and alright, but in reality, it was never so.

"Princess?"

"Hm? Sorry, I got lost in thought."

The mare snorted. "Clearly so. What are you going to do with that stupid monkey?"

"Marry him." She said simply. "He's done nothing wrong, and freedom of speech and press are allowed in Equestria, so he hasn't broken any laws." She sat up a little more on her throne and cleared her throat. "Do you have any more complaints or requests? Court is ready to end."

"My daughter will not like this..." The mare muttered before taking her leave with a bow.

Happy that the guards locked the doors, Celestia readied a teleport spell, but felt the calling of Luna. Instead of teleporting to her chambers, she appeared in Luna's.

Luna's chambers was painted with dark colors and had dark...well, everything. Everything was either blue, purple, or black but there were also hints of white in different locations, such as her blanket which looked like the night sky filled with stars. Luna was laying in her bed, with a sad expression on her face. Celestia wasn't sure what made her call her here, but Luna was sad and never again would Celestia allow Luna to be alone while she was sad.

She climbed into Luna's bed, just behind her younger sister. Wrapping a wing over her, Celestia also wrapped a hoof around Luna's barrel.

"Tia?" Luna asked, a tear threatening to fall from her face. "Why is he so broken? Why does he remain alone in his mind to stew in the shattered remains of memories and promises?"

That was a question she had no clue as to how to answer it. "I'm not sure Luna...I still love him though."

"He wanted to kill himself at one point...did you know that? He was ready to end his pain, his suffering, but he knew it would come back when he was reborn.....H-he....he brought a small metal thing to his head, t-there...there was a note..." Luna had begun sobbing, coughing, and sniffing. "I-if he were me, he would take in the nightmares as if they were toys and bend them around. His will to live rivals his will to die because he made a promise..."

Celestia licked Luna's tears away and nuzzled her gently. "What was this promise?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Luna cried and hit her head on the pillow several times. "He made a promise to someone he cared about enough to surpass everything that wants him dead. Immortals from all corners of the world watch and wait for him to break his promise. Why would so many watch him? He came here with the ability to speak to the unrested souls of the dead, and he claims he is the lowest tier there is..."

"He is a walking paradox, I know..." Celestia chuckled weakly, squeezing Luna tighter. "But he's good."

"He is not good...nor is he evil. He does what he wills because what he does will better the world...for good or for bad. Whatever it takes to preserve a future to his liking and nopony elses....H-...He is impossible...A fighter, a scholar...oh how I wish I was in your hooves."

Celestia chuckled. "You'd like to know what he's like in the bed? Well...even I am still wondering that myself. He's yet to lay with me since he's been here."

Luna nodded. "I may sound jealous...I'm sorry, Tia,... It's been a while... I just want to feel somepony inside me again..."

Celestia snorted and ended up into full blown laughter. "I see your filter has left you!" She smiled down and nuzzled her little sister. "You know how I feel about my lovers and you Luna."

"B-but h...Chris isn't like the rest. None of the stallions before him haven't been bothered by bedding us both, but he is loyal to you and you alone. I've seen how he looks at other humans in his memories he shares with me...He doesn't enjoy that other humans are so....horny as he says."

"Luna..." Celestia gave Luna this flat faced look, one that showed her how annoyed she was. "Maybe its time we show him, together, hm?"

"COME ON!" Chris screamed at the top of his lungs as he flew through the air from a telekinetic blast. He hit a barrier made of hay and fell onto the ground with a couple of tired grunts. His head shot up and he glared at his opponent, Shining Armor. "YOU ASS! I don't have magic!"

Shining Armor laughed. "I still don't understand why you continue to call me a female dog and a donkey. I happen to know a well seasoned vet who's a donkey...Oh, and incest isn't wincest."

Cadence giggled and looked the other direction. Chris snorted and picked up his sword once more. "Come on, no magic this time." He said, getting into a stance he was familiar with.

Shining cracked his neck and chuckled. "I'm going to use it, but only as far as your arm goes, how about that?"

"Fine!" He said through his teeth. From afar but not so far away, Cadence saw and felt heated rage. If one were to look into the eyes of Chris, they might say he saw nothing but the color red. For someone of Shining's skill, seeing red was a fault many had to train around. As you got more angry, the more power you had in your attacks, but they would ignore pain until it was too great.

Chris was nearly there already. Shining and the human were at this for nearly two hours now, constantly fighting or training. For an hour alone, Shining taught Chris a few stances, and he was able to translate them for bipedal form.

It was like a bell went off. Everyone who was doing their own things, stopped and paid attention to the fight that was about to start. Although, there was a few that took a few seconds to pass around a few bits. Chris noted everything around him, his logical side marking out all the ponies, and his opponent. He noticed that Shining Armor's horn had stopped glowing for a second then flickered back to life and picked up the sword.

"Let mortal combat begin." A voice inside his head rang out. Chris' awareness went over normal levels, or at least what he called normal. A pulse from his heart later, he charged at Shining, who also began charging at him.

*Clang!* The swords made contact, making everyone wince at the loud echo made from their swords. Chris jumped back as Shining swung under. Shining found an opening and went for it, cutting Chris' pants right at the thighs, but didn't cut his skin. Not like the swords could actually kill them should they land mortal shots, only sting them, violently, making them feel the full front of the pain without dying from blood loss, or a loss of a head.

Chris moved in and dove with his sword, "King's Might", and *Cling-clang!* Chris sword under his breath, Shining was much quicker than him. Then again, Shining had more training, and all Chris had was video game skills. Only memories of his time playing Skyrim or Star Wars the Old Republic gave him ideas how to swing a blade whether it be made of metal or light. Shining moved in for the 'kill' thrusting his sword into Chris' chest. Chris was lucky enough to dodge the attack and used the opening Shining made for him. With a swift swing down, Chris managed to hit Shining just behind his neck, right where his shoulders were.

"FUCK!" Shining yelped in pain, his mane seemed to frizzle out from the electrostatic shock Chris' sword made. "You'll pay for that!" His eyes narrowed and swung at Chris' legs. Chris jumped onto the sword, knocking it out of Shining's magical hold. With this new opening he made for himself, Chris tapped Shining's horn. There was an eruption of magic and a loud howl, and Shining's magic was let loose. A wave of painful energy smacked Chris away. The impact itself knocked Chris several yards away with his breath knocked out as well. Guards all around winced, some shouted, cheering their former captain on.

Chris got up on his feet while Shining was still dealing with a miniature magical surge. In his mania, Shining let loose more waves of magic in Chris' direction. He rolled out of the way and picked up his sword. "GAH!" Shining shook his head, trying to dull the pain in his horn, but it was no use. "FUCK I SURRENDER! I SURRENDER! CADIE!"

Chris dropped his sword and ran over to Shining as did Cadence. "You okay man?"

"A unicorn's horn is highly sensitive. Imagine you getting hit in your ball sack. That's how it feels."

Chris winced and held his own nuts. "Feeling the five percent now...ow...." He rubbed his balls gently. "Sorry man... Didn't know."

Shining nodded as much as he could, which wasn't much. "Oh I'm going to hurt for a while...Good job Christopher...Used an advantage as you got it. I must admit, after that...ugh...hit on my neck, I was a little frenzied. "

"Will he be alright Cadence?"

She nodded and licked Shining's face. "He'll be alright soon enough. He let loose a good sized surge, so most of the pain is already gone by now. There's just going to be a little throbbing a little painkiller won't handle." She turned her attention to Shining Armor and whispered a few words into Shining's ear. After a few minutes of them whispering to one another, Shining was teleported away. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did, but you can ask another one if you'd like." Chris smiled, sitting down on the grass in front of Cadence.

"Where'd you learn those moves?"

"Some games humans invented use swords and what not...I was just kinda coping them." He shrugged. "Figured since logic in those games kinda work here....I thought 'why not?'."

She rubbed her chin. "Interesting...Well...If I may ask another question...Why did you face my husband in a duel...Most back down."

"He called me a chicken. Nobody calls me chicken." He chuckled.

Cadence herself chuckled back at him, shaking her head while doing so. "You're so confusing. I can see why Luna likes you so much. You're a walking paradox. Think one thing, do another, say something different, and you have this look in your eyes. They call it Woth, or war on the horizon."

"PTSD does that to ya..." He sighed. "Anyways, Luna likes me? As in...?"

"Like-like, kinda. She likes a good mystery, and the fact she gives you the nickname Paradox, tells me she likes you just as much as Celestia does."

"Well...how should I go about this?"

Cadence smiled and stood up. She walked over to him and hugged him. "I can already tell both of them are planning something right before the wedding. I can feel their feelings from all the way over here. Luna likes you quite a bit, Celestia has yet to mate with you since you've been here."

"H-how?"

Cadence laughed as she backed away. "I'm the Princess of Love for the Will's sake!" In a bright flash and a loud pop she vanished away.

Chris, looking quite stumped saw a few guards coming over his way. The put down a few bags of bits and left. He looked at the bags for a moment, then back at where Cadence teleported away.

"Huh?"

Author's Note

Boners at the ready! Clop incoming! Lots of it.

Luna talks to Celestia and asks for a little bit of Chris. Since they're technically not sisters, Celestia has no issue as long as Chris is willing to share? What will happen as they conspire against Chris?