A Clockwork Foal

Ponies suffer from morning wood too.

Just thought you might want to know. It is the kind of little information that builds character, I guess.

Talking about character building, I promised I would tell you guys a bit more about myself yesterday, didn’t I?

Well. My name is Lorenzo Pagani. Like the movie, Lorenzo’s oil. Though my parents didn’t choose the name based on the film. I was tall back when I was a human, 1,90m, which is even taller when you consider I am 15 and still growing. And I am a strange guy.

Not because I like MLP, oh no. That is not the even close to beginning of it.

You see, I have very strange tastes for someone in my age. Let’s start with musical taste. I like classical, baroque and romantic music mostly. Bach, Ludwig van, Tchaikovsky, Mozart, Strauss, Mendelssohn, Richard Wagner, Chopin, just to name a few. I also like jazz, some blues, Frank Sinatra, Vera Lynn and rock (Metallica, Iron Maiden, Queen, Pink Floyd, Raul Seixas), but anything from after the 80’s has a pretty high chance of not pleasing me. However, I have a taste for electronic, especially if it is a party.

My food taste is mostly regular. I enjoy several cuisines from all over the world, but have a special place for meat, of any kind. I love it. Ox, pork, chicken, lamb… Sometimes, I buy about a kilo of short ribs or half kilo of top sirloin and eat just that, no rice, vegetables. Undercooked meat, almost raw.

While on that, how am I going to get meat here? I know that ponies are herbivores but I am talking psychology here. I like meat just like I like games. I don’t need them to survive, but makes me happy, very happy. I can’t just kill a cow, I don’t think I would be able to kill, let’s say, Daisy while she pleads for her life with that silly hat of hers. Fish should be fine though, and pigs don’t seem to be sentient, maybe I could get some bacon …

Getting off topic here, sorry about that, it is just that I have not eaten since I was still human, and that was 1 or 2 days ago at least.

Still in the matter of food tastes, I am a wine lover. Beer tastes like crap for me and whiskey is the middle ground; depends on my mood. I know I am no supposed to drink yet but hey:  I am not supposed to look at porn either, doesn’t stop me from downloading it. Besides, I actually know when to stop instead of just drink to unconsciousness like most of my friends do.

I am also a crazy with downloads, I download tons of stuff even though I will never actually use them. Movies?  720p. Music? Complete discographies. Games? Every single one I can find. That is why my external HD is so full.

My English is very good, but being Brazilian makes my accent a little weird. You see, my English teacher speaks with American accent, but my English books and its listen activities are all from England, making me use English expressions with American accent while having a tendency to being very polite.

I am paranoid when it comes to privacy. 16 digit e-mail password, no facebook, no twiter, always updating anti-virus and the webcam is never connected to the computer. Should come in handy now that I have to hide and keep a low profile. My maniac download has a lot to do with it, as I have a few things on my PC that are not exactly legal (I have a book on design and manufacture of chemical and biological weapons, V2 rocket blueprints ,Schematics of nukes lysergic acid recipe… I think you get my point. It’s actually scary how easy it is to get the know-how of that stuff, building or brewing anything like that however is a different story...). They will be very handy here.

I am also kind of a serious guy, I don’t tend to show emotions. I do however laugh and cry like any normal person. Or pony. I think.

I am also a sucker for happy ending in any possible situation. Good cooker (I find cooking to be an relaxing activity for some reason). And that is just about it. My life back on earth was not bad. It wasn’t perfect, but much better than most people. I lived with my mother, went to school, nobody bullied me because of my tastes (I suspect being almost 2 meters tall and weight over 100 kilos had something to do with that. But I digress) and I had a few good friends.

Now that I have described myself, let’s go back to more pressing matters. Since I am a foal, yesterday’s plan won’t work. I need a new one.

First thing I need a back story that is believable, next I need…

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“So Sweetie, today is mining right?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yeah. I already got Rarity’s gem book and Applebloom got the pickaxe, right Applebloom?”

“Yeah, it is here. Why are we going to the clubhouse anyway?” She asked Scootaloo,

“Because I left our map there, and we need it to get to the old mine.”

“Are you sure that place is safe?” Sweetie asked.

“Totally. But even if it isn’t, we don’t need to actually go very deep to find mining cutie marks, do we? We just need to find something in the entrance, like a gem or some ore, whatever that is.”  Scootaloo asked, the clubhouse coming into view.

“Yer probably right Scoots.” Applebloom said, and suddenly stopped. “Wait, what is that?” She said, pointing at the clubhouse’s window.

There was a pony inside the clubhouse.

“We are being robbed!!!”

“Don’t be ridiculous Sweetie; there are no thieves in Ponyville. Besides, what would anypony steal from the clubhouse? Crayons?” Scootaloo said.

“Yeah, but that fella may not be from Ponyville, and I bet he doesn’t know that there isn’t nothing of value inside that house.”

“Maybe we can get heist-stoppers cutie marks!” Scootaloo said with determination.

“I don’t know. What if he is armed?” Sweetie Belle said worried.

“I bet he isn’t. He probably doesn’t even expect us here. I will scare the living buck out of him.”

“Ah got ya covered!” Applebloom said, enthusiastically.

“I-I think I will stay here.”  The white unicorn said.

Pegasus and earth pony ran up the ramp, stopping one in each side of the door. Scootaloo looked inside.

A unicorn colt with a black mane and dark blue coat, wearing a black jacket was inside. There was a saddlebag and what appeared to be a large black piece of wood on the ground with a button on it. He was at the table, writing down in a notebook.

“It’s just another foal. What should we do?” Scootaloo asked, in a hushed tone.

“I will cover ya, scare him. He shouldn’t be invading private property.”

The orange pegasus sucked in a breath, jumped inside the clubhouse and let out a thunderous roar.

“STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!!!”

“CARALHO!!!” Less than a second after screaming, the colt had somehow brought a knife to Scootaloo’s face. “QUER ME MATAR DO CORAÇÃO CACETE???”

“What?!?!? I am sorry, don’t hurt me!!” The pegasus proud stance had completely disappeared before the large knife now millimeters from her face.

“Huh?” The colt seemed as confused as her, perhaps a little more distressed. He moved the knife away from her face. ”Sorry, I am kind of new to magic and I guess I reacted on instinct. I mean you no harm.” He saw Applebloom peeking at the exchange from the door, also a little scared. “Both of you.” The earth pony filly came inside, a little less tense.

“What happened???” Sweetie belle said, appearing in the door.

“This fella here almost gutted Scootaloo!”

“What?”

“It was an accident. Your friend here scared me and I grabbed my knife out of reflex.” He explained. His face seemed much calmer now. “I assume this tree house is yours?”

“Yeah, and yah scared the living hay out of us! I though yer was going to kill Scoots!!” The apple filly was still much in distress.

“I have already apologized. You two did scare me quite a bit.” He picked the knife and placed it in the black piece of wood, which the girls could now see was actually a black sheath for the blade.

“I have never seen you in Ponyville before. Did you move in recently?” Sweetie asked.

“Actualy, no. But it is good to know where I am.” He said, with a small smile.

“You don’t know where you are?” Scootaloo asked, incredulously.

“One does not pay much attention when running away.”

“Yer running away? From who? Your family?” Applebloom asked, with doubt.

“No. Social services. I don’t want to live in an orphanage.”

“Wait what? Care to explain a little better?” The pegasus asked, shocked.

“Do you want the long and execivly precise explanation, or the quick and simple one?”

“Quick and simple, please.” The earth pony filly said.

“Well, it is quite simple actually. My parents died a few days ago and I have no close relatives to take care of me. According to the law, I am still a minor and therefore should be sent to an orphanage. I don’t want to go, so I grabbed a few things and ran away.” His expression was neutral; as if this was something he did every day. “I can take care of myself; I just need somewhere to stay.”

“So, you are running away to live alone?” Sweetie Belle asked with a small tone of both wonder and amazement.

“Wow, that’s so cool! But sorry about the whole dead parents thing. My mom died a few years ago; I know how much it hurts.”

“I try not to think about it, but thanks for the understanding. Now, I got that your name is Scootaloo, what are yours?” He pointed to the remaining crusaders.

“Ah’m Applebloom and this is Sweetie Belle, and we are…”

“THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!!”

The colt winced visibly and started to rub his right ear.

“Cutie mark crusaders, huh? I guess you are trying to get you cutie marks together then?”

“That is right! By the way, what does yours mean?”

“I am good with knowledge.  But back to the main topic, are you really okay with my whole ‘living alone’ thing? Because I need some help and I would really appreciate if you did not tell anypony about it.”

“We are totally okay with it. Right girls?

”

“Sure, it’s very mature of you.”

“Ah am okay with it. But tell me: How are you going to live alone with no money or food? I’m jus’ curious…”

“Excellent question my dear! That is where this baby comes in.” He floated a small cube out of the saddle bags.

“Why? What is it?” Scootaloo asked taking the cube from the pony’s magic field and almost letting it plum to the ground. “It’s heavy!”

“Yes it is. This is a 4 by 4 by 4 centimeters cube made out of solid-“

“Platinum!” Sweetie Belle said before the colt could finish. “Oh my gosh my sister has a pair of earrings made of this stuff but it cost, like, a bazillion bits!!! Where did you get so much of it?”

“My parents were quite wealthy. Say, is there a blacksmith or jeweler in town where I can sell this?” His stomach rumbled, causing him to blush. “Also, would you happen to have some food with you?”

“Ah can bring you some apples.” Applebloom said. “And yes, we do have a jewelry in town. There is also Miss Mjölnir, her special talent is blacksmithing.”

“Good, very good. First I have to get some bits, them I need to somehow get enrolled in school.”

“Why?” Scootaloo asked. “You are living alone; you don’t need to go to school anymore.”

“But I do, my dear orange friend. You see, adults will not give much thought to a new foal walking around if he is going to school. But if he is not, they will start to try to tell his parents that he is not attending to classes. Since I am living alone, that would expose the fact that I am doing so and defeat the purpose of running away from social services in first place.”

The fillies were silent for a moment.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Scootaloo said.

“Why do yer always talk like that?” Applebloom asked, slightly annoyed.

“Like what?” He asked, somewhat confused.

“Like this.” She cleaned her throat. “My dear, I would like to apologize for scaring you earlier. Could I trouble you by asking for a cup of tea? And some sugar, that would be exquisite.” She said, in an almost perfect imitation of the colt’s accent. “Yer sound like some old stallion feeding pigeons in a park bench!”

The colt laughed.

“Yes, I have this tendency of sounding ridiculously polite when talking. My family has always been very formal and such.”

“No worries. Say, want us to give you a tour around Ponyville?” The pegasus offered.

“Actually, no, not now. I still need a believable back story to explain why nopony will ever see my family, and I am afraid I need some time to come up with it.”

“I see. Want to come with us instead? We are trying to get our cutie marks in mining, would be good to have a colt to carry the heavy stuff.” Scootaloo said, only to be hit by a white hoof as soon as the words left her mouth.”Ouch! What was that for?”

“Serously Scoots?  We just meet him. Wait a few days before abusing his good will.” Sweetie Belle said, slightly annoyed with her friend’s sincerity. The colt laughed a little.

“I would like to go with you. It’s not like I have anything to do for the rest of the day. Please, lead the way.” He said, picking up the saddlebags and taking a few items out of it.

“What are those things?” Applebloom asked pointing at a black rectangle, two small black box exes and a few cables.

“Something my father was working on. I hope I can finish it.” He placed his pen, the notebook and the knife inside the saddlebags and put them on.”I am ready. Can I have those apples you talked about before we go?”

“Sure thing. Say, I never got your name…”

“It’s Lorenzo.” He said.

“Uhm. Weird name.”

“I am a weird guy.”

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1 – Infiltrate Ponyville with fake back story [X] COMPLETE

They trust me. I honestly fell a little bad for lying but it is a necessary evil. Also, this apple tastes delicious, and Scootaloo is driving this damn Scooter pretty fast.  It is obvious that they don’t know what a laptop or cell phone is. That is a little worrying, because it means I will need to find another ways to entertain myself without needing to turn my electronics on. I need to know exactly what their current state of scientific development is. And I think I know how to do that.

“Sweetie, tell me: Is there a library in town?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“I need you girls to fetch me some books after this, could you do that for me?”

“Sure, what kind of books do you want?”

“I will make a list after we come back from this little mining trip. By the way, what day is today?”

“Saturday.”

“Saturday… Good, I like Saturdays.”

2 – Learns as much as posible about Equestria [ ] IN PROGRESS