Chapter 10
The "Great" and "Powerful" Trixie

(Third Person)

The devil hunter jerked up from his slumber, looking around in the library lit by the morning light. He stood up from the couch, yawning loudly. Looking around for Twilight and Spike, he spotted a note on the coffee table written by the violet unicorn.

Dear Dante:

Spike and I went out for a bit, meet us at the Cafe around 12.

-Twilight

He nodded in assurance and picked his jacket off the railing and set out onto the morning town.

He took notice of the lack of ponies in the area. There were ponies around but not as many as it was yesterday. He looked up to the sky as he was casually wandering down the road, seeing the occasional Pegasus fly over. What seemed off was that they were traveling to one area of the town. Curious, he changes course and follows the Pegasi. He sensed that one landed behind him and he spun around to face it.

“Oh, it’s you from the old castle,” he realized, “What’s up, miss…?”

“The name’s Rainbow Dash!” she announced in a boastful manner, “Only THE greatest flier in all of Equestria!”

Rainbow Dash (Ashleigh Ball)

“Heh, somepony that talks as much as I do; I like you already.”

“Likewise. I heard from Twilight everything about you. I never knew you were some badass hybrid that punches demons in the face for a living.”

“Well, being the same species as them can give you a few perks.”

“It sucks you can’t fly. Otherwise, I would ask you to fly with me.”

“Oh, I can; just only in my demon form.”

“REALLY? Well, let’s see, then!”

“Not right now; I’m not in the mood for flying.”

“Cockblocker.”

He laughed at her profanity. He should’ve known that a mare like her would be foul mouthed like him, but never heard her talk for real until now. It was then when the question came back into his head.

“So, Dash? Where’s all your fellow Pegasi going?”

“The weather team heard that there’s this performing Unicorn at the town square, I think it’s a bunch of bullshit, but I’m gonna take it with a grain of salt and see who she is.”

‘Trixie,’ he thought with disappointment, remembering the character from the TV show.

“Who knows?” Dante reassured Dash, “She might be hot as hell.”

“Oh, no; I heard of your stories in the comics,” she fumed, “I have first dibs on her after I call her out on her possible bullshit.”

They both arrived at the square with a large group of ponies surrounding a small caravan. Dante noticed the other elements at the front of the group.

“Seems like your buddies are curious of this “Trixie” mare.”

“Everypony’s here, let’s see who she is.”

Silence, excluding the many whispers and mumbling coming from the townsfolk. Dante could hear the whispers from across the knoll.

“Who is this character?” a mare with a rose Cutie Mark asked.

“I dunno, I heard from a friend of mine from Manehattan that she’s a traveling magician.”

“Yeah, yeah; we Unicorns do magic, just what’s so special about her’s?” one mare with messy blue hair and sunglasses skeptically crossed her arms.

“Let’s just watch and see,” A mare beside her, carrying a Cello asserted, “It’s not every day we see a performing Unicorn.”

Rainbow poked the devil hunter’s shoulder, knocking him out of his concentration.

“So, what are they saying?”

“Some anxious, some curious, even your buddies are skeptical.”

“Really? Well, this might be a show, then.”

“Yeah; a real shitshow.”

“What makes you say that?”

He facepalmed, flashing back on the episode of the TV show.

“Just watch.”

It was then fog poured out from the sides of the caravan, quickly quieting the crowd.

“COME ONE! COME ALL!” A voice boomed from the loudspeakers, “AND WITNESS THE AMAZING MAGIC OF THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!”

Trixie Lulamoon (Kathleen Barr)

The curtains pulled back to reveal an azure mare wearing a magician’s outfit with black knee-high boots. She has a styled cornflower blue mane and dark violet eyes.

“Watch in awe as as the Great and Powerful Trixie perform the spectacular themes of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!”

Rainbow turned to Dante, who was leaning against a tree, scratching the side of his face.

“You want to watch up close?” she offered.

“You go on right ahead; I’m standing here, taking this with a brick of salt.”

She flew over the rest of the group where he pondered over a funny feeling in his stomach.

“There’s something awfully familiar about all this,” he thought out loud.

The show continued with Trixie performing the usual shtick he had seen many times at birthday parties and school assemblies when he was a kid. That was when he heard Rainbow booing from the audience.

“Well well well,” Trixie noticed the Rainbow heckler, “It looks like we have some naysayers in the public. Who is so ignorant of challenging the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie?”

She continued boasting on, her ego so inflated, Dante swore he could reach out with a pin and pop it.

“Don’t they realize that they are in the presence of the greatest Unicorn in all of Equestria?”

He felt the heat from the fire in Rainbow’s eyes as she zoomed up onto the stage into the Magician's face.

“So, Great and Powerful Trixie, what makes you seem like hot shit, huh? What makes you a cut above all of us?”

She scoffed at the mare’s question.

“Well, as you will know, The Great and Powerful Trixie has enough magic to vanquish an Ursa Major!”

“BULLSHIT!”

Everypony gasped and turned to look at Dante, who had a look of disbelief on his face.

“Nopony has the power to accomplish THAT kind of feat!”

“Well, the Great and Powerful Trixie can. What can YOU do? You hairless ape?”

“I’m curious, pray tell; how did you manage to ‘vanquish’ this Ursa Major?” he asked, making quotation marks with his hands.

“Well,” she began with a puff of magic shooting out from one of the fireworks tubes, showing a crude animation of an Ursa Major and Trixie zapping the gigantic bear away, “When all hope was lost, the ponies of Puffington had nopony to look to, Trixie stepped up and sent it back from whence it came, deep within the Everfree Forest!”

Dante chuckled at her little tall tale. He knew what an Ursa Major looked like; he once punched one in the balls to defeat it. (Still, why?)

“Well, that settles it; Trixie is truly the best in all of Ponyville!”

She looked at the quiet crowd and all of their faces in awe.

“Still don’t believe me? Well, then I at this moment challenge all of you Ponyvillians,” she bragged, “Anything you can do, I can do better.”

It was then Applejack brought out her lasso and did many tricks with it until Trixie laughed with disappointment.

“Now, how minimal; watch the great talents of Trixie top that.”

She then took off her hat with her horn and used it to move a rope, where she hogtied Applejack in front of everypony.

“Heh, it’s a good thing AJ isn’t into bondage or that would’ve been embarrassing for her,” he joked.

Applejack hopped offstage where Rainbow once again flew back onto the stage.

“There’s no need for strutting around like hot shit!” she growled, “That’s MY job!”

With that, she took off from the stage and performed her usual trope of tricks, flying around the buildings, doing various flying skills. She zoomed up into the sky, flying through clouds and landing back onstage with the water droplets making a rainbow above her head where she was left with a few cheers from the audience.

“They don’t call me Rainbow Dash for nothing!” she boasted.

Trixie smiled as she used her magic on the rainbow to spin the Pegasus in a mini tornado, where she nearly vomited.

“Anypony with a dash of sense will think twice before tangoing with the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

“There’s more to a Unicorn than just petty tricks,” Rarity stated, walking upstage. Her horn glowed and removed the curtains. They spun around her where they became a purple dress with gold trim. Her mane style was changed into a beehive style from the 1960’s.

“A Unicorn must have grace and beauty, something with the likes of you forget.”

Trixie smirked and changed her mane color to green and stuffed it with twigs and leafs. Rarity looked at her hair in horror and ran away, crying. Dante cracked his knuckles in frustration and stepped away from the tree, heading straight towards the stage.

“Okay; I get it,” Dante scowled, “I had a little fun with watching your little smoke and mirrors and hear you spin your over exaggerated tall tales, but publicly embarrassing my friends? Doesn’t sit well with me.”

“Oh?” Trixie noticed the devil hunter, “What kind of tricks does this ape have? They probably pale in comparison to the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

“More like ‘Great and Powerful Bitch.”

The whole crowd gasped at his insult. Trixie fumed with anger and fired a bolt at the devil hunter. Before the bolt hit, he kicked it up into the air where it exploded into a fireworks style sparkle. The crowd clamored at his sudden parry.

“Nice little trick,” he yawned obnoxiously, “Can the, oh so Powerful Trixie, please show me some more?”

He vanished and reappeared behind her where he tapped her shoulder. She jumped and looked at the hybrid flicking off her hat.

“I’ve been to enough birthday parties to know that you magicians are all the same; I have seen those tricks before, Buttercup; you’re nothing special.”

With that he vanished once again, leaving her in a stunned state. She snapped out of it and turned back to the crowd.

“As you see! I sent the monkey away! Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie-”

Her speech was interrupted by a tap on her shoulder and felt a piece of paper in her shirt. She pulled it out and read it:

Dear Trixie,

Would you kindly keep a lid on your ego? It’s bad enough we have dragon naps making the air stagnant. We don’t need to be choked even more by your inflated ego. I could be on the other side of town and smell your bullshit, hell I could smell it right now from the library. Smells like my ass after a dozen chimichangas.

~From Tartarus with love - Dante

She scoffed at the note and burned it with her magic. The devil hunter stood behind the caravan, snickering like a cartoon dog. He composed himself once more and set out to look for Twilight after being urged to show Trixie up by Spike.

He made it back to the library where he saw Spike walk out in disgust. He saw Dante strolling up and passed him. He stopped at the door when Spike opened his mouth.

“Dante, can you try to talk some sense into her? Trixie is very rude to everypony and Twilight has to prove that Trixie is nothing special.”

“It’s very rude to be demanding of a lady, but I’m still curious about what she’s capable of.”

“Then TELL her! I know you are better with words with mares.”

“Yeah, for picking up chicks, but I’m not all that good with giving advice; I punched an Ursa Major in the balls for Faust’s sake!”

The little dragon shot him a weird look before leaving. Dante carefully entered the library where he heard Twilight yell from upstairs.

“Spike, I already told you-!”

“Relax, sparkle butt; It’s just me.”

“Oh, sorry about that,” she gingerly walked over to the railing and rested her arms on it, “Spike tell you about what happened?”

“Yep. Stubborn kid, that one.”

“I don’t want to show my magic off like Trixie; It’ll just make me no better than her.”

“Besides, where’s Spike going?”

“Probably over to Rarity’s. He cares a lot for her.”

“Still, it chaps my ass over what she did to the other girls.”

“You have any way of dealing with this?”

“What are you getting at?”

“I’ve seen you drunk, and I heard from the Princesses about how you saved Canterlot from demons. I’m sure you’re able to pull off some trick that’ll shut her muzzle.”

“I’m sure I’ll think of something. I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going?”

“It’s still afternoon. Besides, I don’t have any clients.”

“Alright. If you’re at Rarity’s, tell Spike to come home, okay?”

“Will do.”

They both said their goodbyes and Dante set out on his idea.

Mission 4: Snoop da Lulamoop
Investigate Trixie Lulamoon’s Actions

As the sun went down, Dante silently inched up to the back of the caravan and slowly cracked open the back window to hear the conversation between Trixie and a strange voice. Trixie spoke into a magical device that projected a small magical flame that held a voice.

“Are you for sure it was the Son of Sparda?” it asked.

“Who else would sport such an ugly coat and grin?”

“Good. Good. Await your next command. Sleep for now; we have much work to do.”

“Do we have to kill them? I find it much more satisfying, publicly humiliating them.”

“NO! The only threats to my plans are the elements and Dante; they must die and their physical elements destroyed!”

“Can Trixie really bring herself to murder?”

“Foolish mare. That weak Griffion let me possess her so she could assassinate Dante. If you let your heart open to dark magic, you can be my vessel to terminate our foes.”

She fell silent on her dilemma. Her body shuddered at the thought of her potential failure.

“You have 24 hours to decide; fulfill our goal and receive your place as a Noble in my future Empire or forfeit your place in our circle, your little smoke and mirrors game and go back to being a pitiful rock farmhand for the rest of your miserable life.”

The flame on the device died down, and the distraught Unicorn switched it off. Her deep thought was disrupted when she heard a loud knocking on the door. Curious to see the guests, Dante shimmied around the caravan to see two kids possibly around Spike’s age. The taller, thinner colt had an aquamarine mane and yellow fur. The shorter, chubbier colt had light brown hair and grayish opal fur. Both wore matching red shirts with khaki shorts.

“C’mon, Great and Powerful Trixie,” The shorter one begged, “Tell us the story of how you vanquished an Ursa Major.”

“Trixie is far too exhausted from being the best in Ponyville,” she scoffed, “Be Gone until morning.”

“Okay, G&PT,” The taller one sighed, “We’re at your beck and call.”

As they both left, Dante spotted Spike who was watching them both cross-armed.

“What were you two doing?” he asked the duo.

“We wanted to hear more about the G&PT’s amazing feats,” the taller one explained.

“What and what now?”

“Great and Powerful Trixie.”

Spike rolled his eyes at their ignorance.

“How can you both be so fooled by her tall tales?” Spike ranted, “I mean, she spins so much yarn, she could weave an entire blanket that can cover Ponyville. She’s a sham, unlike Twilight, who could-”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie vanquished an Ursa Major!” The smaller colt yelled in the young dragon’s face, “Can your Twilight do that?”

“Right,” Spike retorted sarcastically, “Like she even has any proof of doing such a thing in the first place. If you want to ask somepony that even encountered such a beast, ask the local Demon Hunter, Dante. He’ll tell you; the proof is in his office.”

“Have you ever been to this so called Demon Hunter’s office?” The chubby one asked, staring him in the eye.

“No; his office is in Canterlot.”

“No proof equals that Trixie is the better hunter.”

“Look, guys, if an Ursa Major comes waltzing down the street for Trixie to Vanquish, I am not going to believe her and neither should you two!”

The chubby one stood there, thinking hard until he got a twinkle in his eye.

“Snails, you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Snails stood there, scratching his muzzle until he spoke.

“I dunno Snips; what were we thinking about?”

Sails facepalmed and tugged him by the arm.

“Come on, I’ll tell you on the way.”

As they left, Spike scoffed and went the other way.

“Gullible lunkheads,” he grumbled.

The Devil Hunter waited until Spike was out of sight until he stepped away from the caravan. He knew those two colts would go looking for an Ursa Major and he would have to stop them. He sighed in frustration and followed the two Colts into the Everfree Forest.

Author's Note

I'm sorry; I have no excuse for this hiatus, but here me out.

My latest blog explains about my absence.

Anyways, here's the latest romp in Dante's misadventures.
Next Chapter is: Attack of the Intergalactic 50 Foot Cub.